Gilmore Girls

Wu Feng Qi Lang

A/N: Okay. So I have no idea what happened last chapter. I didn't realised I'd posted it already because I had hated it but then I changed some things and added new things and I liked it so I posted it but as soon as I found out I had posted it twice, I took one off but for some reason, it didn't show that I had deleted it. Weird. Sorry! But to make up for it, here's a new chapter. Gen. Xx

A/N2: I have decided that Rory isn't going to work for L'Oreal anymore because that was just dumb. She's going to work for a fictional magazine because then I can create my own rules and people. Lol. I just realised how close to Lorelai that L'Oreal is.

Summary: Rory doesn't want to do this anymore. (Creating Waves Without Wind.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls nor am I affiliated with it in anyway. I have taken the title from 'Falling Leaves' by Adeline Yen Mah.

Chapter Six: Lorelai Always Said

"Oh my gosh. I have to get myself some of those boots," Gina cried, her British accent reverberating across the crowded café square. A dozen elderly French folks, for whom the café was their morning haunt, glared at her for breaking their peace and muttered to each other under their breath before grumpily resuming their café au lait and croissants. Another group of assorted young fashionistas, models and magazine people, still searching for the right roadside café to finish their morning routine (much like Rory and her friends) followed Gina's eyes across the road to the woman wearing the boots and nodded in understanding.

"Cherie, why don't you go over and ask her where she got them?" Faye asked, in her undoubtedly French accent. It always made Rory smile when she saw how multicultural her office was. 'Pour Les Femmes' subscribed to the practice of hiring the best person for the job, regardless of nationality, and in Rory's little clique, it showed. "Or get Rory too. She never hesitates to ask."

"Lorelai always told me that if you like something, you should always go for it and if that means stopping a possibly evil woman in the middle of the street to ask where she got something, that's just what you've got to do," Rory shrugged. "Or if you see something you like in the window of a shop, even if it's Madison Avenue, you should take a single leap across the road and land in the doorway."

"I guess you really like Lorelai then, huh?" Gina asked. "I mean, you came all the way over to France to find her."

"I don't know that I really like her anymore," Rory admitted. "Look at what she did to me. She left me. She abandoned me. But I really like having a mother and I'd really like to know what happened to her."

"I still can't get over it. You and Lorelai loved each other. I remember when Faye and I were in the US with you, she was always popping into the office or calling you. I used to be so jealous but now, I don't know. If that's what mother's who love you do, I'm glad that Mama and I aren't close."

"Darling, you will find her. I know it," Faye said softly, placing a manicured hand on Rory's. "Ooh, I love the colour of your nail polish. What is it?"

"A concoction of my own," Rory said, a smile slowly spreading across her face and into her eyes. She loved how quickly her friends could change the subject when they sensed she didn't want to talk about Lorelai anymore. (When had she stopped calling her mum?)

"That's it," Gina said. She stood up and wiped her hands on the already used napkin. "You've inspired me, Gilmore. If you can come to Pairs, I can walk across a road. I'm going to find out where she got those boots from."

Faye and Rory watched Gina streak up the road to the crossing and walk purposefully across the road, her 5-inch heeled black pumps clicking with every step.

"Do you ever wonder how she gets into her clothes in the morning?" Faye asked, a tinge of envy in her voice.

"Its spray paint," Rory suggested, taking in the tight black jeans and black t-shirt. The only thing not black was the lilac and yellow Pucci scarf that fluttered around her neck and tied the outfit all together. Gina's long wavy hair (dark brown with just a tiny of mahogany) fluttered in the wind and for a split second, Rory saw who Lorelai could have been if given the chance, if only there was no Christopher, no Rory. She tried to throw the thought from her mind and concentrated on her friends' tight clothes. "Or maybe she's naked and we're both just pretending there are clothes there."

"That must be it, Rory," Faye said softly. Rory could sense Faye looking at her and she looked into her eyes. "I see it too."

They could both see the Lorelai who could've been.

-

"I think I'm doing this all wrong," Rory whispered into the phone.

"Why? And why are you whispering, Ace?" Logan whispered back with a laugh. (How very cute she was).

"I don't know," Rory admitted. She rose her voice to its normal level. "I guess I'm not used to being back at work yet. I don't think that personal calls are really accepted."

"Ace, come on. You work in a place that prides itself on having the fullest social life it could possibly have yet still putting out the most popular magazine in the world. Honestly, I'm amazed that the ladies you work with deign to show up to work. Work always comes last. If work coincides with a Chanel sale, they will take the Chanel sale every time. Right now, I guarantee that you are not the only person on a personal call so don't worry. Besides, you're the deputy editor. You can basically do what you want. You can do nothing and still take the credit for it. I know you. You can do this stuff with your eyes closed and in your sleep so you can take five minutes to talk to your husband who is currently a million miles away and missing his wife a lot," Logan said. He took in a deep breath and Rory could practically hear him smile. "How did you like that?"

"It was a good rant," she agreed, matching his smile. "I miss you."

"I should hope so," he replied. "So, what are you doing all wrong?"

"I'm looking for the wrong person," she explained. "I've been looking for Lorelai in all the wrong places. She moved to Paris because she wanted to be a different person. She wanted to be Lorelai Hayden, the person she should have been, not Lorelai Gilmore, the person she was forced to be by circumstance. If it wasn't for me, my parents would've gotten married sooner. Doesn't that just seem ironic to you? The one thing that should have bought them together tore them apart because my mother would just not be the person she was fated to become."

"I get what you're saying, Ace, but if Lorelai isn't Lorelai anymore then where are you going to look?" he asked softly. "You don't know what Lorelai is like. You only know what your mother is like. Can she have changed that much?"

"My mother never missed a thing I did. Lorelai has never even acknowledged my existence," Rory hissed. "Logan, I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore. I hate her."

"No, Rory, you're just mad at her. You love your mum. She's your best friend," Logan said. "It's just that right now, you're a little bit confused and a little bit mad and that is completely understandable."

"You're only saying that because you've had a lifetime of hating your parents. Your parents didn't abandon you, Logan, because they were never there. They didn't leave you for their new families because they knew without each other, they had nothing and no-one. Did you ever see your dad run off with one of his women? No, because he is a better man than that. Lorelai used to be a better person. Wrong, she used to be a person. Now she has no feelings for anybody but herself and my father. Your dad never had feelings for anybody but himself so you can't understand this, Logan. You just can't," Rory cried. There was a long silence punctuated only by Logan's heavy, seething breathing. Rory closed her eyes and let her head fall onto the desk with a loud bang. "I'm so sorry, Logan. I wasn't thinking."

(She was right. She was so right and they always said, the truth hurts).

"No, Rory, you weren't thinking at all but you know what? Its fine," he hissed through clenched teeth. "I can deal with anything you have to say but just so you know, you're turning into a different person too. You say you hate her, that you don't care what happened to her and yet you're still over there and I'm still over here. You could get a transfer in three minutes flat and yet you haven't. It's fine. Hate your mother, hate the person she isn't, the person she hasn't become but don't ever take out your hate on my family. Don't ever make me feel worthless because my father didn't love me."

"Logan, I'm…"

"Save it, Ace. I've had about enough of this. Your mother, she runs our life now. It used to be about you and me and I get that things have changed, I get that I can't be number one now but I want to be number one again soon. I should be. I love you more than anyone ever could. I never abandoned you. I never did anything but support you. I think I deserve a little bit better from you. At the very least, I deserve a phone call from my wife where her mother isn't mentioned," he retorted. He sighed and slammed his fist down on the desk. "Damnit, Ace! I just want you to come home. It's been nearly four months and nothing. Why cant you just give up?"

(Give up and come home to him. That was all he wanted from her).

"Would you give up if it was me?" she asked, swallowing. (Please, say no. Say things haven't changed that much).

"Not unless it was the end of my days," he replied. (Corny but true).

"I just cant give up. I wouldn't be the woman you loved if I did. Rory Gilmore, Rory Hayden, Rory Huntzberger, Lorelai, the third. Whatever you want to call me, she doesn't give up. When I do something, I put my all into it. This means more to me than anything I've ever done before," she said quietly. She heard him sigh and she knew he understood. Before he could open his mouth, she said it. "Don't go there, Huntzberger. You know I didn't mean it like that."

(He meant more to her than anyone. If she was honest to herself, maybe even more than her mum).

-

Rory sighed as she pushed her back into the cushions to get comfortable. She stared into the dark liquid that floated in her mug and sighed. She wished things were different with Logan. She knew he understood. She knew he was being the nicest, most generous guy in the world and she knew that it was so hard for him but she wished he would just stop. Stop making her feel like the worst person in the world, stop making her feel like she had abandoned him like Lorelai had abandoned her, stop making her feel like he loved her more than anyone else in the world (that was the worst bit). Because he loved her, she knew was doing the wrong thing by being in Paris, by being away from him.

It had been so hard at first. Her insides ached for him. They missed him and she missed him. Her skin wanted to be touched by him, her hair to be brushed by him and her lips to be kissed by him. She wanted him so bad and he needed her so why oh why oh why couldn't she leave? Why couldn't she go home?

(Why couldn't she let her mother go?)

The phone rang and she instinctively knew it was him. They had a process. She would call in the morning, he would call at lunchtime and they would fight then he would call at night to make sure they were okay, to tell her he loved her and goodnight and then they would wake up and do it all again.

(Is this how it was going to be now?)