Gilmore Girls
Wu Feng Qi Lang
A/N: Hey all. Man. Writing nasty Lorelai is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Happy reading! Gen. xx
Summary: Rory doesn't want to do this anymore. (Creating Waves Without Wind.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls nor am I affiliated with it in anyway. I have taken the title from 'Falling Leaves' by Adeline Yen Mah.
Chapter Eight: In My Mother's Den
Rory took in a deep breath and tightened her trench coat around her small frame. She moved foot-to-foot for a few moments, brushed her sweaty forehead with the back of her gloved hand and inhaled yet again before slowly raising her arm and pressing the doorbell. She held it for what was only a few seconds but for what seemed like an eternity. The ring reverberated around her and just as quickly as she touched the button, she wrenched her hand away.
The door opened quickly and her mother answered it with a big smile on her face.
"Anne-So…" she started. She saw Rory and her voice trailed off and her smile was replaced with something a little smaller, a little less bright. "Rory, you came."
(Was that disappointment on her face?)
"You asked me," Rory shrugged. The two stood in an awkward silence.
"Lor, who is it?" she heard Christopher's voice ask from a room behind a white set of stairs.
"I guess you'd better come in," Lorelai said softly. She moved out of the way to let Rory pass. Rory stepped in and waited politely for her mother to instruct her to remove her coat (possibly her shoes) and take her for a tour, or simply into another room. Lorelai closed the door behind her and leant on it, her hands still clutching the doorknob as if Rory would make an excuse to leave any second now (and how she wanted too).
"Lor!" Christopher called again. He stuck his head around the corner and a big grin spread across his face. He walked around the corner and wiped his hands on his pristine white apron before holding out his arms to Rory. She gladly walked into them, her smile not quite matching his, but getting there. "Rory. It is so good to see you."
"You too, Dad," she answered bravely. He squeezed her and then let go.
"Come in, come in," he beckoned. "Take your coat off, sweetie. Put it on one of the hooks there."
She obliged and followed her father into the kitchen. It was a wide spacious room with lots of bench space and barstools. A hanging rack from the roof housed what seemed like a million pots, pans and cooking utensils.
"I'm making roast lamb," he told her proudly.
"Wow, Dad, that's great," she told him, for lack of anything else to say.
"Can I get you anything?" Lorelai asked, switching into hostess mode. "Coffee, soda, water? Glass of wine?"
"A glass of water would be great, thanks," she replied. Lorelai smiled quickly and quickly set about making her daughter a glass of water. (Not just any water. Cucumber water).
"Lorelai, Chris!" a French-accented voice rang out. "We're here."
"Anne-Sophie," Lorelai beamed. She walked over to a small blonde woman dressed in a mink and hugged her before kissing her cheeks. She did the same to a short muscular man with brown hair. "Patrick. I'm so happy to see you."
"Who is this stunning creature?" Anne-Sophie asked after greeting Christopher.
"This is our daughter, Rory," Christopher explained proudly. "She's here in France for work so we thought we'd have her over for dinner."
"She is beautiful. She looks just like you two," Anne said. "Patrick, doesn't she look like them?"
(And let the insincerity begin).
-
"Lorelai, you've hardly said a word to the girl all night," Anne-Sophie said as she powdered her nose.
"I know. I haven't seen her in a long time. It's weird," she explained.
"It's not that at all. you don't want to see her. you don't want her here. We can all tell."
-
"Rory, these are your sisters. Gigi, you already know but this is Alexia. We call her Lexie," Christopher said. He handed the soft bundle to Rory and she cradled her gently in her arms.
"She's beautiful," Rory sighed.
(And she was).
-
"I cannot tell you how glad I am to meet you," Anne-Sophie trilled, pouring Rory another glass of wine. "When your parents first moved here all they could talk about was 'Rory this, Rory that, our daughter this, our daughter that.' I thought 'now, here is a family that loves each other' so it surprised me when you didn't visit sooner."
The three elder Hayden's froze and out of the corner of her eye, Rory saw Lorelai and Christopher exchange a glance. Lorelai opened her mouth to speak but Rory cut in before she could.
"Yes, well, it was out of my control," Rory replied, leaning forward.
"How long are you here for? Your mother mentioned that you had a position here with a magazine," Patrick asked.
"I'm the deputy editor of 'Pour Les Femmes,'" she explained. "My contract is for another year and a half but I can go back to the States at anytime."
"I love that magazine," Anne-Sophie cooed. "Lorelai, darling, why didn't you tell me that your daughter was the editor of my favourite magazine? Rory, did you know that your mother has been subscribed to the magazine for five years?"
"I didn't know that," she said.
"Don't you have access to the subscription lists? Oh, I'm sure you have access to many things. Any gossip you can share with us?" Anne continued. (Sure, Anne-Sophie. Just not the kind you expect).
"I haven't done my rotation in subscriptions yet," Rory admitted. "And as for gossip, I assume you mean news of the fashion kind. Chanel is having their annual sale next Tuesday. I can get you passes if you give me an address."
"Lorelai, Christopher, I like her," Anna-Sophie cried. "I don't know why it's taken you so long to have her over."
"Like I said, things have been out of my control," Rory shrugged. She made a big show of looking at her watch. "Anyway, it's getting late and I promised I'd call my husband before he went to bed."
"Of course. We shouldn't keep you," Christopher said. He stood up and pulled Rory into a warm hug. "It was good to see you, kiddo."
"You too, Daddy," she smiled. (Daddy? Where had Daddy come from?) She pecked him on the cheek and waved at Anne-Sophie and Patrick. "It was great to meet you. Maybe I'll see you at the Chanel sale, Anne-Sophie?"
"Of course. Here, just let me write down my address and a phone number. Your daughter is a gem," she trilled.
"We know," Christopher smiled proudly. Lorelai stood up and wiped her palms on her black pants. "Isn't she a great kid, Lor?"
"The greatest," Lorelai replied with a fixed smile on her face. "I'll walk you out, hon."
"Oh, its fine. You stay here. I remember the way," Rory replied, shaking her head. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to say goodbye to Gigi and Lexie."
"I don't know. Their probably asleep by now. I don't really want to wake Gigi. She'll be grumpy in the morning," Lorelai argued. (Why was she being so cagey?)
"It's okay. I won't wake them. I just want to see them," she said. "Who knows when I'll ever see them again?"
"Goodness, child. You're making it sound like you'll never see them again," Patrick piped-up.
"Maybe I won't," Rory said bravely. "I haven't seen my parents in three years because my mother didn't want to see me so it seems likely I won't see my sisters for just as long."
"Lorelai, what is she talking about?" Anne-Sophie asked.
"Rory, why would you bring that up?" Lorelai asked. "I invited you to come over here. Isn't that enough?"
"Enough would be telling me why you left me in the first place," Rory shot-back. "I don't care if I never see you again. I don't. There was a time when that would have killed me but you have made it perfectly clear that I am not welcome in your perfect new Parisian life and I'm okay with that now. I just want to know why. That's all. Why, Mum, why?"
"Maybe we should go," Patrick said, hustling Anne-Sophie up.
"No, there's no need for you to leave. Stay," Lorelai said. "Chris, why don't you take Anne and Patrick into the kitchen for coffee?"
(Did she want the families dirty laundry aired in public?)
The three adults quickly made their way out of the lounge room and back into the kitchen. Rory and Lorelai looked at each other.
"I'll just get your coat," Lorelai said, walking out of the room and into the hallway.
"I'll follow you," Rory said, rolling her eyes. She watched her mother remove her coat from the hook and hand it to her.
"Rory, why would you bring that up in front of them?" Lorelai asked after Rory had done her coat up.
"You have changed, Lorelai. I just want everybody to know. The Lorelai you are here isn't the Lorelai you used to be. The real Lorelai."
"How do you know this isn't the real Lorelai?" Lorelai half-yelled.
"Because the real Lorelai would never treat her daughter like a stranger! The real Lorelai wouldn't make her daughter feel unwelcome in her house. You have barely looked at me all night. What is with that?" Rory screamed. She inhaled and looked at her mother. "No, actually, I'm wrong. This is the real you. The French mother of two is you. You couldn't be you when you were at home with me because secretly, you have always blamed me."
"Blamed you for what?" Lorelai asked drolly.
"Blamed me for ruining your life. You could have had everything you have now if it wasn't for me. you would have married Dad and had two gorgeous little girls. You would have had money and jewels and a beautiful house. You wouldn't have been a struggling single mother who had to work hard and beg and steal off everyone for the money to send me to school and to college. You blame me for being born. you blame me for not having the life you really wanted to have and I'm sorry but I can't change that for you. I can't go back into the past and be unborn and I can't change that for you but I can tell you this. you chose to have me and you chose not to marry Dad. The three of us could have been a family but you chose otherwise so stop blaming me and start taking responsibility for your own actions because I am sick of this," Rory hissed. She was breathing heavily and she clutched onto the arm of a plush chair for support. (Had she really just said that? How long she had waited and now she had finally said it). "I deserve better than this, Lorelai."
"Rory, I don't deserve that from you. I gave you everything you ever wanted. Everything," Lorelai said.
"And you took it away from me too," Rory said simply.
"What do you want me to say?" Lorelai asked.
"I want you to admit it. I want you to admit that you blame me for ruining your life and that you never want to see me again," Rory said.
"Fine. I admit it. I do blame you for ruining my life. There. I've said it. Are you happy now?" Lorelai blurted out. Rory's face fell momentarily but then she nodded and even managed a small smile.
"Thank you, Lorelai. That's all I needed to hear," she said. (It hurt less than she'd imagined it would). "Now, I'm just going to run up and kiss the girls then I think I'll go. Say good-bye to Dad for me."
"Rory, wait," Lorelai tried as Rory moved to walk up the stairs. Rory paused and turned to her. "You called me Lorelai."
"Mothers don't abandon their kids," she explained. "Lorelai's obviously do."
She continued her walk up the stairs and made her way into a large room. She walked over to the cot and stared down at her youngest sister.
"You are beautiful, Lexie," she whispered, picking the infant up and holding her close. "I hope she doesn't do the same thing to you. You can always come to me if you need too. I guess you won't know I exist but that's okay. I know you're here. I'll look after you somehow. I promise. Stay beautiful, baby girl."
She kissed Alexia on the forehead and then gently placed her back in the cot. She fixed up her blankets and watched her little chest heaving for a moment before leaving the room and making her way into Gigi's room where she found her sitting up in bed.
"Hello Rory," the little girl said.
"Hey G," Rory answered. She sat on the edge of the bed and smiled. "I just thought I'd come and say goodnight."
"I heard you and Lorelai fighting," she whispered.
"I'm so sorry you had to hear that," Rory comforted her.
"Are you two going to be okay?" Gigi asked.
"I don't know. I think so," Rory replied. She kissed Gigi on the cheek and smoothed back her hair. "I'm so glad I got to see you tonight. You're getting so big."
"Will I see you soon?"
"I don't think so but if you ever want to, I'd be happy to see you," Rory said. "Anyway, I'm getting sleepy so I should probably go. take care of your little sister for me, okay? And for your dad. He's a good guy."
"I like him," Georgia replied.
"Well, that's a good thing. Bonne nuit, Gigi," she said.
"Good-night, Rory," Gigi replied. "Do you know what Lorelai taught me to do?"
"What did Lorelai teach you to do?" Rory asked.
"The continental kiss," she said. She kissed Rory on both cheeks and giggled. "She said that the French always say hello and goodbye like that."
"It's true," Rory answered. She kissed her little half-sister on both cheeks and then stood up. "I'll see you around."
She walked back down the stairs and found Lorelai sitting on the bottom step.
"You wanted to make sure I left?" Rory asked.
"I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed that life. I might not have wanted it but I enjoyed living life with you and I loved you. None of that was fake. I didn't want you to leave thinking I don't love you. I do love you but I would have felt so guilty having this new family if you had been around all the time. I didn't want you to feel like you were second best or like I was fitting you in because I had too so I guess I took the cowards way out and just decided to remove you completely. Okay, that's kind of a lie. I didn't want to share this with anyone. I wanted this to be mine and Christopher's. No-one else's. I have had a lifetime of sharing you with other people but I wanted him and the girls to be all mine. Do you understand that?" Lorelai asked.
"Not really," Rory admitted. "But thank you, just the same."
"Come here," Lorelai said. She opened her arms and Rory walked into them. They held each other tight for a moment. "I assume you're going to go home now."
"I'm thinking about it," Rory shrugged. (She couldn't wait to go home).
"Tell Logan I said hi," Lorelai said. "But please don't tell anyone where we are. Just tell them that we're okay and that we're happy. Will you do that for me?"
"Of course."
"Good-bye, Rory," Lorelai said, kissing one cheek and then the other.
"Good-bye, Mum."
(And it was done).