Here it is, chapter 7, just as I said. This chapter also contains a bit of Sasuke bashing, but no "Sasuke is the worst character in the series" stuff, just making fun of him really. This chapter isn't really relevant to any part of the story though, so you can skip it.
The next morning Pein came downstairs to find Konan frying bacon.
"Mornin'" he said sleepily.
"Morning. Did the others keep you up last night?" Konan asked.
"Yeah. What were they doing?"
"I don't know but I heard Itachi's brother and his teammates yelling as well, so I can assume that they tried to see what was under Kakashi and Kakuzu's masks," Konan hypostasized.
"I don't know why they want to see what's under Kakashi and Kakuzu's mask," Pein said. "Surely they should be more interested in what's under Tobi's mask."
Pein," Konan slowly said. "Don't ever say that again. You'll give the others ideas. By the way do you want bacon?"
"Yeah thanks. Is there any coffee?"
"Only if you make some."
Sighing, Pein got up from his chair and went over to the coffee pot. Whist the water was boiling he put a few slices of bread in the toaster and got them toasting. After the coffee and toast were done he grabbed some and sat down. Konan dropped a few pieces of bacon on his plate and he started to eat. Konan sat down with the same food and drink and the newspaper.
"Pein," she said calmly.
"Yeah?"
"Hidan and Kakuzu went on a mission before we came here right?"
"Do I want to hear this?"
"Probably not."
Pein went and grabbed the coffee pot before sitting back down.
"What have they done now?" he asked.
"Destroyed part of a city."
"When you say destroyed…"Pein said, asking for more information. He was now on his tenth cup of coffee, it calmed him down enough to ensure he didn't kill everyone.
"I mean eradicated," Konan said. "There's nothing left."
"What do we have to do about this?" Pein asked.
"Well, seeing that a load of bad guys lived in that part of the city, the mayor says that if we pay a million pounds…"
"How are you getting all this from a newspaper?" Pein asked.
"They wrote a message for us," Konan said, turning the newspaper so Pein could see the note. Sure enough, a very posh looking letter, which called Hidan and Kakuzu a variety of colourful names which had been edited slightly so it could published.
"We need to talk to those two," Pein said, sipping another cup of coffee. "Oh and send the mayor an equally polite note informing him that I refuse to hand over a million pounds when we got a load of bad guys, and also, what kind of villains pay for the damage they cause unless they go good?"
"I know right?" Konan said. "It's one of the best things about being a villain."
Pein nodded then sighed. "God dammit, it's too early to be thinking about stuff like this."
"It's eleven in the morning," Konan said.
"My point exactly."
Now whist we could end the chapter there, we're not going to. Instead we're going to hear about the events the previous night which happened just after the group who had been sent into the sea had got back and had gone to bed. Let us begin.
"Sasuke this is stupid."
'Silence."
"It won't work."
"It will."
"I'm going to drop if you don't let me go back to bed."
"And you call yourself a ninja."
"Sasuke! No matter what you do Itachi won't be killed by you! Can we put this stupid stake back and go and put this garlic somewhere else? The stench is seeping into my clothes!"
"STOP YELLING YOU FOOL! ITACHI WILL HEAR YOU!"
"What will I hear?" Itachi asked, opening the door that connected the two parts of the house (which had somehow been restored to it's previous state before Team 7 ended up underneath it). He was wearing grey boxer shorts and a baggy blue t-shirt. His hair was amazingly neat, despite the fact that he had spent the night running around, swimming, and being caught in a man-made tidal wave before going to bed. Sasuke turned to Naruto.
"See! Itachi heard you!"
"Actually little brother I heard your extremely loud yells. If you had stayed silent you might have entered our part of the house. Now go away. Everyone's sleeping except us and if you wake Deidara up he blows you up. And if you wake Hidan and Kakuzu up then not even God wants to stand in there way," Itachi said, shuddering as he obviously remembered a time when this had happened.
"See Sasuke! We should leave, it's one in the morning. Come on," Naruto said. Sasuke ignored him and stood completely still. Then he suddenly grabbed the garlic bread Naruto was carrying and wracked Itachi over the head with it. Itachi stared at him, clearly not amused. Sasuke didn't give up, snatching up the garlic clove Naruto was also carrying and flinging it at Itachi's head. Itachi snatched it out of the air and flung it back at Sasuke. Naruto had the sudden feeling that Itachi might have played cricket or baseball (whichever you prefer) before he joined the Akatsuki as the garlic hit Sasuke directly in the middle of the forehead and sent him flying back. The younger brother withered in pain on the floor as Itachi took a bite out of the garlic bread, silently deemed it acceptable, offered a piece to Naruto (who wasn't hungry), then left the two, taking the garlic bread with him. Sighing, Naruto started to drag Sasuke back to their room.
LOL! Sasuke thinks Itachi is a vampire!