Decisions

Thanks again to my wonderful reviewers! My inbox is nice and full of your wonderful feedback and advice, but there's always room for more! Some special Merwen friendship especially for BagginsPotterPevensie featured in this chapter.

After talking with Gwaine and Lancelot, Gwen and Arthur must now come to a decision. Meanwhile, Merlin has noticed that something is wrong with his two friends.

Merlin sat by the window in Gaius' chambers, running his finger along the edge of the wooden dragon Balinor had given him the day he died.

It had been a tough few months, and he'd been thinking more and more about Balinor, Will and Freya. Mostly Freya. Would they be proud of him? Would they be disappointed?

Hearing that Morgause had recovered troubled him, and he couldn't even warn Arthur that she was back.

Speaking of which…

Arthur had been acting very strangely these past few days; him and Gwen. Arthur had become more silent and withdrawn, scrutinizing Merlin's every move as he'd gone about his chores. There was no banter, no snarky comments. Nothing. Gwen, on the other hand, was behaving like they'd only just met. She acted nervous, stumbling over her words and hurrying away before she managed to finish a sentence. It had only been a few days, but Merlin was worried. Something wasn't right. Maybe they'd had an argument or something…

Sighing, Merlin rubbed his brow, before tucking the dragon statue back into his pocket and turning to leave, bumping straight the person that had come up behind him.

'Ow! Oh, Gwen,' he smiled, taking a step back. 'I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.'

She smiled at him. 'Don't worry; I shouldn't have come up behind you like that. What were you looking at?'

Merlin hesitated, before pulling the figure out of his pocket. 'My father made it, before he died.'

She reached out for it and took it from him, holding it up to the window. 'It's beautiful. He must have been very talented.'

Merlin nodded as he took it back. 'He was the best.' He looked off into the distance, taking a moment to control the sad feeling that came over him.

Gwen shook her head, sadly. 'I'm sorry.'

'It was a long time ago.'

Merlin sat down heavily on the bench, and Gwen sat down beside him, rubbing his arm in a comforting gesture. Merlin smiled.

'This is the most you've talked to me these last few days.'

She titled her head sideways, looking confused. 'Sorry?'

'You've been acting strange lately.'

She looked saddened by his words and Merlin rubbed the back of his head, feeling awkward. The weight that he had felt lift by telling Gwen about Balinor was back and he suddenly felt very tired.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.'

He stood up.

'I'm OK, really. I've just had a lot on my mind recently,' she muttered. He turned to look at her.

'If you're sure. You know, if you need me, I'm here for you.'

She gulped slightly and nodded. She seemed to be fighting back tears. Feeling the tension rising, Merlin turned to leave.

Suddenly, Gwen rushed forward, throwing her arms around Merlin's neck, and hugged him tightly. Merlin staggered back, shocked at the force of the impact, but Gwen just tightened her grip.

'You're amazing, Merlin,' she whispered in his ear.

'Erm, thanks?'

She hugged him, if possible, even tighter, and Merlin, tentatively, returned it.

'Gwen, has something happened?'

She stepped back, keeping her hands on his shoulders. 'No, of course not! I just…. You're such a wonderful person, Merlin, and I don't know what we'd do without you if anything happened to you. Not that anything's going to happen to you, but I wanted you to know, just in-case something did happen…'

'Gwen.'

She shut her mouth, and went noticeably red. He stared at her for a moment.

'Has Arthur threatened to kill me again?' She looked horrified.

'What? No!'

'Hey,' his voice was quiet, and soothing. 'I was joking, Gwen.'

She gulped and looked down, nodding. He frowned at her, confused.

'Gwen, do you know something I don't?'

Gwen shook her head, smiling sadly. 'No, Merlin. Everything's fine. Just… promise me something.'

'Of course.'

'Don't ever change.' She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, and left, leaving behind a very confused and concerned Merlin.

He shook his head before heading off to complete his chores. Maybe Arthur would make more sense. He laughed at himself. When did the Prince ever admit what he was feeling?

XxX

Merlin was already waiting for him when he got back that night. He was surprised to see his servant, as he hadn't seen Merlin all day. He noticed that his room was tidy, his bed turned down and his clothes laid out, ready for him.

He turned to Merlin, eyebrows raised. Merlin shrugged.

'You've had a lot on your mind recently.'

Arthur looked at him for a moment before heading towards the screen. He heard Merlin sigh and instantly felt guilty.

He'd been pushing Merlin away the past few days, still wary of his servants' hidden talents. He hadn't even thought of the effect his actions would have on Merlin.

'Arthur.'

Arthur turned back to his servant.

'I know I'm not a Knight, and I know I'm certainly not Gwen,' he smiled slightly. 'But, you know I'm always here for you, if you need me. I'm happy to be your servant…'

'Till the day you die,' Arthur finished, feeling his breath catch as he recalled his servants' words from three years previously. Merlin's eyes went wide.

'You remember?'

'It's not something that's easy to forget. I'd just been brought back from the brink of death,' Arthur shrugged, and moved off, mentally slapping himself at the resignation in Merlin's eyes. The younger man didn't deserve this; not after all he had done.

Merlin nodded curtly, heading towards the door.

Just as he reached for the handle, Arthur called out to him.

'Camelot means a lot to you.'

He paused. 'Yes, it does.'

'You'd do anything to protect it?'

'Yes.'

'Even die?'

Merlin flinched slightly, but looked back to hold Arthur's gaze.

'Yes.'

Arthur felt a lump form in his throat at the sincerity in that one word. 'That's what you meant, isn't it? When you said you'd be my servant till the day you died. You thought you were going to die.' Merlin looked at him for a moment before nodding. 'Why?' The servant looked confused. 'If I remember correctly, I was the one dying, not you.'

Merlin shrugged, causing Arthur to frown.

'Why didn't I die, Merlin?'

Merlin shrugged again. 'I traded my life for yours and you were healed, but something went wrong and Nimueh died instead of me.'

'Nimueh?' Arthur exclaimed. 'The sorceress that caused the plague not long after you arrived?'

'Umm… yeah. Pretty much.'

'How did that happen?'

Merlin jerked his head, and Arthur took that to mean he wasn't going to get anything more out of the servant. It was pretty miraculous he'd forced any kind of confession from the Warlock.

Arthur stepped behind the screen, and changed quickly. He could hear Merlin cleaning up, as he walked out from behind the screen, and climbed into bed. Merlin grabbed his laundry, and blew out the candle closest to Arthur bed, before moving away.

'Merlin.'

Merlin turned back to the Prince.

'Thank you.'

He saw the disbelief in those blue eyes, before it melted into relief and happiness. He nodded one last time, before blowing out the last candle, and leaving Arthur to sleep.

Arthur rolled over under the covers, smiling to himself.

He knew what he had to do.

XxX

The next morning, Arthur set Merlin a list of chores that would ensure that he was kept away from Gaius' chambers whilst they were talking with the Physician. Arthur was slightly nervous about approaching the Physician with his plan, but he knew they would need the old man's help if they were going to succeed. Besides, who was he to run away from a challenge?

Gwen gave Arthur's hand a squeeze, and he looked at her, giving her a small smile of encouragement.

She took a deep breath, before pushing open the door to Gaius' chambers.

The Physician was bent over a large tome, but he glanced up as the couple entered. He smiled, straightening up.

'Sire, Guinevere. What can I do for you? Is everything alright?'

'Yes, Gaius. We were just wondering if you could answer some questions for us.'

'Of course, sire.' Gaius took off his glasses, and moved round the table, indicating for the couple to sit, but they didn't .He frowned. 'Is something troubling you?'

'No… well, yes. It's just that…'

Arthur rolled his eyes. 'Something's happened, Gaius, and we'd like your advice on handling the situation.'

Gaius looked between the two. 'I'm always happy to assist. What seems to be the problem?'

'Well…'

Gaius took a step forward. 'Guinevere? Are you alright? You're looking rather unwell.'

Arthur inhaled deeply, before meeting Gaius' worried look.

'What do you know about Merlin's magic?'

Gaius blinked.

He stood for a moment, staring at Arthur, before staggering slightly. Arthur darted forward, catching the old man and lowering him onto the bench. Gaius clutched the side of his head as he began to tremble. Gwen hurried over with a cup of water, which Gaius took gratefully.

'Thank you,' Gaius muttered, before taking a sip. 'Oh, my boy…'

'Gaius?' Gwen shook her head, sitting down next to the Physician.

Arthur sat across from Gaius staring at his hands as Gwen supported the old man, who appeared to be in shock. Unwilling to talk first and, unwittingly, cause the old man further stress, Arthur sat in silence for the time being.

'That stupid boy,' Gaius muttered, eventually. Arthur looked up but the old man was still focusing on the cup in his hands. 'I warned him… I warned to be more careful.'

Arthur bit his lip. 'We're not going to hurt him.'

'I know that, sire, but it doesn't change the fact that his carelessness has, once again, put him in danger.'

'He was being careful,' Gwen insisted. 'He was worried about us.'

Gaius smiled sadly. 'He's always worried about you, Guinevere.'

Arthur leant forward slightly. 'Can you tell us about him?'

'Merlin should be the one to tell you, sire.'

'He can't know that we know, Gaius. Not yet.'

Gaius raised an eyebrow at the Prince, but chose not to comment, instead, moving on. 'What is it that you want to know, sire?'

'Whatever you feel comfortable telling us about.' Gwen moved slightly to give Gaius more space, and Gaius nodded.

'Well, first I would like to establish what you two have already found out.'

'Well, we know that he's the last Dragonlord and that Balinor was his father,' Arthur listed, watching Gaius' eyes widen. 'We know that's he's powerful and very over-protective of everyone in Camelot. We also know that he finds it difficult to trust because of how long he's been living with this secret. And…' here Arthur hesitated, glancing at Gwen, who nodded. 'We know that, two years ago, Merlin fell in love. And that she died, not long after.'

Gaius looked stunned.

'You know about Freya?'

'We didn't know her name, and we don't know what happened.'

Gaius nodded slowly. 'Well, that's more than I expected you to know. The only other thing I can think of to tell you is that Merlin was born with his abilities.'

'Born? Is that even possible?'

'Many magicians are born with their powers, but, normally, the powers emerge over time, and the magician has to work exceptionally hard to keep their abilities. I, for one, have limited magic now as I have not practised it in years.

'Is that what happened with Morgana?'

'Yes. Her powers emerged as those of a seer; the magic came later, and she didn't have to work as hard as a normal sorcerer. '

Arthur frowned. 'And Merlin?'

'Merlin is the exception to the rule,' Gaius smiled. 'He never had to work for his magic; it's as natural to him as breathing. His mother was terrified he'd be caught and murdered as a small child when he had no control over his magic. Merlin is destined to be the single, most powerful Warlock to ever live.'

Arthur gaped at Gaius, Gwen glancing between the two. 'Warlock?'

Gaius nodded. 'Merlin is a Warlock, not a sorcerer, by definition. But he does prefer to be referred to as a Warlock; that way, he doesn't feel as connected to people like Morgana and Morgause. It helps him cope better.'

Arthur shook his head. 'Who one earth told Merlin that he was destined to be the most powerful magician, ever?'

'Kilgharrah did.'

Arthur snorted. 'The dragon?'

A wave of realisation crossed Gaius' face. 'So that's how you found out! You saw Merlin with the Great Dragon.' Arthur nodded and Gaius shook his head. 'That explains how you knew about Balinor, but not how you knew about Freya.'

Arthur's face remained impassive, but Gwen glancing him, looking worried, Gaius frowned.

'Someone told you. Someone told you about Merlin's love for Freya, and the only other person who knew about her, apart from myself, was… Lancelot.'

The look on Gwen's face confirmed Gaius' suspicions, and the old man looked outraged.

'Merlin trusted him!'

'He didn't want to talk! He wouldn't tell me anything until I assured him that I'm not a threat to Merlin. And, even then, he only told me enough to convince me to keep my silence.'

'It obviously didn't work,' Gaius muttered.

Arthur huffed. This was getting them nowhere. He leant forward.

'Gaius, I was telling the truth when I said I'm not going to hurt Merlin, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to do anything about his magic either. The only reason I'm talking to you about this is because I'm going to need your help.'

Gaius' eyes narrowed as he surveyed the Prince. 'What do you plan to do?'

Arthur grinned and told Gaius his plan, watching Gaius' eyes go wide. By the time Arthur had finished, Gaius had a tear in the corner of his eye.

'Are you serious?'

Arthur nodded. 'Very serious, Gaius. But now you see why I'm going to need your help.'

'Of course, Arthur. Whatever you need me to do.'

'Tell me everything you can so I understand what he needs the most.'

'I already know what he needs, Arthur,' Gaius sighed, looking saddened. 'He needs to learn that he is allowed to love, and trust, without having everything ripped out from under him. I have been making progress with him. You were told by Lancelot that he never told anyone his secret?' They nodded. 'That was true until a few months ago, during the last tournament. He confessed to another young sorcerer what he was in an effort to save the young man's life. He succeeded. Gilli is now one of the few allies Merlin has within the magical world.'

'But,' Gaius looked between the Prince and Gwen, 'I think it would be better if I started from the beginning. There is a lot of stuff I don't know, but I know most of it.'

'I hope you're both comfortable.'

XxX

Arthur's head was hurting by the time Gaius finished three hours later. When the Physician finally stopped talking, they sat there in silence for a while, each of them lost in thought.

How could Merlin have done so much; been through hell and never have said a word?

He jumped as the door opened, and Merlin walked in. He stopped at the sight of the three of them sat around the table.

'Don't tell me Gaius is going to start acting weird, too,' he moaned.

Arthur blinked, before looking back at Gaius, who, when he caught the Prince's eye, started laughing. Arthur couldn't help it, once he saw the exasperated look on Merlin's face.

He laughed too.

I'm not too keen on this ending, but, I really want to move onto the next chapter. Plus, I can imagine Merlin walking in and making that comment.

Next time: Arthur tries to convince Uther to go along with his plan.

Thank you to my lovely betas Arthursmol and Hollyblue2!

Who else thought The Darkest Hour Part 1 was awesome? I actually can't wait for the second part next week!

Please review!
Valkyriexx