Thank you guys for taking a chance on this, and for leaving such lovely reviews. EJ makes things better. Ser listens to me whine.

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The Cullens meet us at Sea-Tac. They are an oasis of still calm in the crowded and noisy arrivals lounge. Pale, gorgeous, distinctly out of place. I feel their familiarity, and wrap myself in it like a heavy blanket. It seems selfish. I've destroyed this family, and yet seeing them again is such a comfort. Alice throws herself into Jasper's arms, whispering a flood of endearments into his ear that are too fast for me to understand.

Esme startles me by pulling me into a tight hug, one hand smoothing my dirty hair. I feel self-conscious. I've been flying for days now, and I must reek of plane and stale sweat, but Esme doesn't seem to care. She's pressing her palm against my cheek, and can there really be tears there again? How is that possible?

"Thank you," she says to me, her eyes bright and sincere. "For going all that way, for trying. Thank you for stopping him; for saving his life." She hands me a soft, embroidered handkerchief. I can't even understand why she would own one, let alone have it on her. I focus on this detail to keep myself from looking her in the eye.

I'm shaking my head, and biting hard at my lip. This is all a mistake, a misunderstanding. I take a step away from them. "It's my fault," I murmur.

"No, it's not," says a cool voice behind me. "If there is anyone to blame, it's me."

Rosalie looks as broken as I feel, leaning heavily into Emmett's side. I want to muster up malice; scratch at her flawless skin. She's the one who called him; she told him I was dead. She set this whole appalling chain of events in motion. But all I feel is exhaustion and the heavy sense of inevitability that settled over me in Italy. I can't find any words for Rosalie.

"He's alive, that's all that matters right now," Carlisle says with conviction, steering us toward the exit. "We need to get Bella home. She desperately needs some rest." He sounds every inch the doctor he is, and this is a prescription I don't want to fight. He puts his arm around my shoulders, and I feel tired all the way through to my bones. I'm asleep almost before the Mercedes leaves the parking lot.

The leather of the upholstery is cool against my cheek, and before I know it, Alice is shaking me awake. It takes a minute for me to understand where we are, to remember everything that has happened. My house - Charlie's house - looks familiar and different at the same time. The lights on the front porch are on. Charlie's cruiser has a light layer of snow covering it.

Esme breaks me from my trance. "Time to go in, sweetheart."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Alice asks.

I take a deep breath and shake my head. This is my dad, this is my problem. This is Charlie.

"I'll be okay. Just, if you don't hear from me in three days, promise you'll work your magic?"

Alice gives me a tight smile. I open the door, and walk up to the stoop. For one moment I regret all of it. Moving to Forks, trying to make a life here, discovering the world is not at all what I thought it was. I was happy enough in the desert sun. I miss Renee. I would never have met Edward, but maybe that would have been better. I don't know, I'm too tired to be objective.

Charlie's disappointed face is worse than any lecture or punishment. There's a hurt behind his eyes, and I know that he's thinking about every morning over the last six months when he tried to get me to buck up before school, and every night he lay awake worrying. He's looking at me, and all he sees is the girl who ran after the boy who broke her heart. I fix my eyes on my toes, tears scratching at my eyeballs. I wonder how much of me he sees in himself. He loved Renee, and she left. Did he try to get her to stay? Did she refuse? Would he go back to her, even now? I realize I know so little about my father, and my heart feels hollow.

All I do know is that Charlie trusted me, and I let him down, and I need to face this myself. And so here we sit, on opposite sides of the room. No sound except the hum of the refrigerator coming from the kitchen, the silence stretching awkwardly between us.

I start to stand up. "I'll make some dinner. When was the last time you had a good meal? You probably haven't been watching your sodium intake, have you?"

Charlie stops me in my feeble attempt to escape. "You're grounded, obviously."

I nod, without looking up. It doesn't really matter. He can send me to Florida, I no longer care. There isn't anything here for me now. He deserves better than me, anyway.

"Other than the time you'll spend on the Rez."

I glance up with a start.

"You need some structure, Bella. A routine. You're going to go to the Black's every day, straight after school."

I shake my head slowly, thinking about the look of disgust on Jake's face as Alice and I drove away. It was only three days ago, but it feels like I've lived a lifetime since then.

"You'll do your homework, and you'll help Emily with the little ones. And you'll be home by dinner."

I rub at the back of my neck, a seemingly permanent crick having settled in on the plane, and I have to catch myself before I dislodge Alice's scarf and reveal the nasty ring of bruises Felix has left around my throat. Nothing would make Charlie believe Edward was not somehow responsible for those.

"I'll do whatever you want," my voice sounds low and resigned. There's a pause.

"Is he back?" Charlie doesn't look at me.

I stare at the worry lines across Charlie's forehead. I put those there, I realize, guilt pooling in my gut. He looks like he's aged ten years. When did this happen? Did I do this to him? Yet another thing I've missed in my selfish stupor.

"No. The others might be, Esme hates L.A., but Edward's doing a semester abroad." How easily the lies continue. To think that once he could read my face like a book. If Charlie has aged this much, what do I look like in the mirror?

Charlie's forehead crinkles into a scowl. I can see he wants to ask me questions, but he really, really doesn't want to talk about Edward, or even say his name. I want to do something, to say something. To make Charlie understand that it's okay, and I'm not going back to the dark place I was in when Edward left, that I won't let him do that to me again.

"I'm serious; I'll go to the Rez. I'll keep my grades up. This isn't...this isn't a setback. I thought I could do something, and it turned out I was wrong."

Charlie's shoulders slump a little as he exhales. "It's either this or military school, Bells."

Only part of me thinks that he's joking.

Later, as I am boiling water for pasta, he puts a pre-paid cell phone on the kitchen counter beside me. "You'll call, as soon as you get to the Black's. I don't hear from you, I'll be calling you."

I realize then that Charlie's not joking at all. If I want to stay in Forks, this is my last shot.