I wake with a start and the certain realization that I'm not alone.

"Don't freak, it's only me," Alice whispers from near the window. My heart sinks. In the moment before she spoke, I wanted more than anything to believe it was him. I wonder when people watching me sleep from the window became normal.

"What are you doing here?" I rub sleep from my eyes as I sit up. The jet lag is still messing with me, and I feel dreadful. Disoriented and woozy.

"We're having a family meeting. I...we thought you should be there."

I'm already out of bed and hauling on my jeans. Apparently the jet lag isn't so bad. "Charlie?"

"It's okay. He's out cold; I don't see him waking up anytime soon. I'll keep an eye out of course."

I wrap my arms tightly around Alice's neck, anchoring myself to her back, pressing my face into her hair and closing my eyes. The sensation of unnatural speed still flips my stomach. The last time I did this it was with Edward, and I was laughing. Now I am just thankful Alice can run this fast.

The Cullens are gathered around the dining table when we reach the house, with the exception of Emmett who is pacing back and forth like a caged bear.

"We are wasting time," he grits out as I slide from Alice's back and Esme gives me a quick hug, pulling out a chair for me beside her. Rosalie's face is buried in her hands. Emmett slaps the wall in frustration, causing a painting to jump off its hook and fall to the floor with a crash. For some reason, I wonder how much the destroyed painting is worth. "We need to go now.We need to get on a plane, go over there, and teach those Italians a lesson or two."

I cast a quick look at Jasper, wondering why he isn't altering this, or at least calming the room. Even I can feel the tension. He doesn't meet my eyes, instead staring fiercely at Carlisle.

"Sit down." Carlisle's tone is icy. He doesn't even glance in Emmett's direction, but Emmett does as he's told.

"What do you see now?" Carlisle asks Alice, clearly not for the first time.

A pained expression flits across Alice's delicate features. She schools her face back to neutral. "Bits and pieces, nothing concrete, and always changing. Sometimes he's in Italy for a long time, sometimes he comes back, sometimes...terrible things happen. I've never...Carlisle, there's never been such uncertainty before. I've never felt so...chaotic."

Carlisle turns to me. "Tell us about Victoria." I am startled by the change in topic, but try to answer as best I can. I gloss over the details, the heartbreak. I fudge why I was in the clearing in the first place, though I can't meet any of their eyes as I remember ourplace. Rosalie and Esme gasp when I describe Laurent finding me there.

"I told you it was a mistake," Jasper interrupts without warning. "We nevershould have left here. Look at what happened to her!"

His irritation floods out across the table like a wave.

"It wasn't your fault," I start, but Alice places her hand on top of mine.

"It's time for everyone to speak the truth, Bella. None of us left here because we wanted to."

I look around the table in confusion. The expressions on their faces are regretful, apologetic.

"I don't understand." There is so much I don't understand, it seems.

"Bella, Edward made a decision." Carlisle's voice is pained. "He believed, wrongly as it turned out - but with all his heart, you must understand - that you would be safer without him in your life. Without us in your life. He loved you too much to put you at risk from our kind ever again."

Carlisle's not making any sense. I shake my head trying to clear it. "No. No, he didn't love me. He...No. He made that clear. He told me..."

Alice gives my hand a small squeeze. "He left because he loves you; he tried to die in Italy because he couldn't bear to exist when he thought that you didn't. He chose to stay to save your life. He loves you, Bella. You're his other half. His reason."

I want to believe her, to accept somehow that this whole long nightmare has been one selfless act of love. But it doesn't ring true. No one who loved me would have left me collapsed helpless in grief on the forest floor that day. No one who loved me would have turned their back on me in Volterra. Wanting to protect me, that I can believe. Edward has always acted out of a chivalrous sense of obligation. But not love. This isn't love. Someone like Edward could never love someone like me. If nothing else, I've learned this much.

"Whatever his reasons," I manage finally after a long silence, "whatever any of your reasons, it doesn't matter now. Laurent didn't hurt me. The wolves protected me."

There is a sudden splintering snap, and Esme looks reproachfully at Emmett, who is clutching the wooden arm of his dining chair in one hand. His expression is thunderous.

Carlisle sighs.

"Bella, wolves - particularly young wolves like Jacob - are very dangerous. They're extremely unpredictable. They can't necessarily control how and when they change form."

I think of the terrible scar across Emily's beautiful face.

"Jake won't hurt me," I claim, with a certainty I don't feel. "None of the wolves will."

Carlisle sighs, rubbing at his forehead. His flawless features look tired, strained.

"Bella, I think I need to speak to these wolves of yours. If Victoria is around here somewhere, and we pick up her scent,we need to deal with her. The last thing we need is the wolf pack thinking she is one of us. Can you arrange it?"

I think about how much Jake hates me right now. How much he despises this family that I love. I nod slowly. I will have to be at the Rez this afternoon, after all. Maybe Sam will see reason, even if Jake won't.

"What will you do about Edward?" I want to get back to the important things.

"There's nothing we can do, Bella. I know Emmett wants to take the bull by the horns, but the Volturi are too dangerous. They would see us coming before we made it to the city limits, and Edward would be dead long before we could do anything. They have myriad gifts at their disposal. I believe you may have met some of them."

I think about Jane, and the way Edward writhed on the stone in agony before me.

Rosalie gets up from the table abruptly and leaves the room. Emmett looks torn, but he gets up to follow her.

"We just have to trust Edward," Carlisle continues. "Aro will know his every move. We can't expect to hear from him until he has found a way to come home. In the meantime we need to deal with Victoria."

I don't know how to trust Edward anymore. I don't even know how to trust myself.

Silence reigns around the table. I try and fail to stifle a yawn. It feels like a betrayal.

"Alice, please take Bella home to bed," Esme murmurs. I try to protest, but I really am exhausted. Esme walks us to the door, and grasps my hand briefly. "Don't worry, Bella. We're not going anywhere just yet." Her tone is reassuring, but all I hear is the short-term promise, and even after Alice tucks me back into bed, I manage only fitful sleep.

My dreams are full of red - hair, blood, and snow.