Khmyh, this is for you, something to wrap your sanity in during exams. Best of luck, and enjoy!

Rei didn't like shopping. She had what she needed, and if she needed something new, she went straight for it and did no sideshopping. Therefor, she usually paid no attention to the merchandise left and right on the shopping street.

But on their way to a new place to hang out, there was a t-shirt for sale that stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Jadeite," gasped Rei, "You. Need. This. T-shirt."

"I do?"

He eyed it suspiciously. "What does that say?" he asked and pointed to the English inscription on it.

Rei grinned. "It's a spell. A very famous spell out of a book. Come on, what's your size?"

"I don't know. Explain about the spell! What book? What spell?" Jadeite followed her into the shop. He still had the grumpy face that he made when he was extremely suspicious, and Rei couldn't stop grinning.

"It says 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.' Famous spell."

"What kind of spell is that supposed to be? Sound more like a curse to me."

"Oh, come on, it's just a story. It's not supposed to work anyway. It's a spell that reveals a map of a magical castle. It's called 'The Marauders Map'. Wait, this is a fanshop, they might even sell it."

Jadeite was intrigued.

"A real magical map?"

Rei rolled her eyes. "No, just one that looks like the magical map in the stories. Here, try this on, and I'll look for the map."

"I what?"

"Jadeite, if I buy you a t-shirt, I want to see you in it, obviously. That cubicle over there is for changing clothes, so the shop isn't full of half naked kids."

"But I..."

"What? Need help with getting dressed?"

"No..."

"Off you go then."

He trailed to the cubicle, suspicion and reluctance on his face.

Rei suddenly found herself enjoying shopping. Probably the trick was to make someone else suffer for it.

Should have thought of it years ago, she thought with a grin.

It got even better when he came back with the t-shirt on.

"It's too small," he complained.

"It's exactly right. It's supposed to be exactly like this."

Jadeite usually wore huge t-shirts he could shrink into when he sat down. This one fit him. And it also showed that while he was very thin, he could not be called delicate. Somehow, that fit him too, thought Rei.

"And it's green with silver," sulked Jadeite. "Zoisite is going to steal it. 'Hey, my size and my signature colors, why, Jadeite, how nice of you'."

"Tell him there's a spell on it."

"I'm not going to lecture Zoisite on magic theory."

"Tell him you know what it's saying, and Minako will know it too."

That brought a big smile on Jadeite's face.

"That's good. But let's look if they have it in pink, to be on the safe side."

"You can't be serious. I'm not buying you a pink t-shirt."

"Hey! It's one of my signature colors!"

"No. Just no. There is no pink on Hogwarts. Wait a minute. You're right. You shouldn't be wearing green and silver. That's Slytherin. People in Slytherin are sly."

"Hey!"

"What, you didn't want it in green anyway. Let's look what they have here... Blue and grey, no, definitely not... scarlet and gold, hm..."

"Nephrite will steal it."

"You're right. He will, and he should. Hey, look, black and yellow. Isn't black your signature color, too?"

"Of course not. I just look good in it."

Rei chuckled. "One more reason to wear this. And look, gold, too. Let me sprinkle some glitter on, and you will hardly notice the difference to your workwear. So this is your t-shirt. Welcome to the house of Hufflepuff!"

Now Jadeite was more suspicious than before.

"What does that mean?"

Rei gave him a conspiratory look and spoke in a deep voice.

"You're a wizard, Jadeite."

"I'm a what? Of course I am. I'm a Guardian. Explain Vufflepluff."

"Ah, Hufflepuff House, you're in the great company of Cedric Diggory."

"What?"

"Nymphadora Tonks!"

"What?"

"Honestly, don't you two read?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Shsh, Jadeite, you be a good Hufflepuff and go change into the black t-shirt without thinking too much. Believe me, you'll get it right automatically."

Now Jadeite was really grumpy, almost giving off sparks from hurt pride, but he was being a good Hufflepuff, just as Rei had told him. She held back a lot of silly giggles until he was out of sight, but then she had to vanish behind another rack of t-shirts and let it out. This was the best shopping she'd ever done.

"Yes, totally your colors, Jadeite," she said when he came back. Black definitely fit his mood now, so Rei saw it was time for a distraction.

"Here, they have it, look. The Marauder's Map. Made by four guys who were best friends and always up to no good. It shows the castle, with hidden room and all, and in the movie, it also shows where everyone is in that castle."

Jadeite watched the map with fascination, forgetting about the t-shirt in an instant.

"Ha! We totally did that, too," he said with a proud grin. "We developed a new version of some older mapping spells, made us Shitennou and the Master the first humans ever to transport into unseen places. You totally need to map the place you want to teleport into. You don't want to end up where something solid is, or something living bumping into you, or no ground under your feet... but you can't do it to scale. There's no way it can be done to scale with the original. That's where the Marauder's Map gets it wrong. Oh, and they nested too many spells in it. Otherwise, nice job, really."

Rei watched him amusedly. She had never heard him talk like that, loud and vivid, and making a face every five words. He really was into this.

"Okay, how about this, Jadeite. This map is for sale, and I buy you one, and you keep the t-shirt right on."

"But... Rei... this shirt..."

"What is it with you all the time? It's just a t-shirt! What's all the fuss about?"

"Rei... is this the kind of person you think I am? Up to no good?"

Rei suddenly felt a very wide grin spread over her face that she was entirely unable to suppress.

She looked into his big blue worried eyes.

"Yes, Jadeite. You said it yourself, you're still the same guy you used to be. The guy who tried to slit my Sailor Mars chest plate away to see if I wore a bra underneath."

"What?"

Mischief managed.

Rei chuckled.

"Oh come on, you so obviously singled me out in every fight, and you so obviously never aimed for my throat. What was I supposed to think, huh?"

"Welll... not that at least... I really didn't..."

He had started making faces while he was talking. Rei had never seen him do that until today, it was very entertaining, just like the whole discussion.

"Spare me your cheap excuses, Jadeite. I know what teenage boys have on their minds, believe me, in my job, you really get to know people's secret wishes. So what you are telling me is that you actually deserve a t-shirt that says "I was up to the noblest intentions"? Is that so?"

Jadeite cast down his eyes and looked unhappy. "I don't think I deserve a t-shirt at all," he mumbled.

Was he actually trying the guilt trip again? On her? Hadn't he learned anything?

"Well, I say you deserve a t-shirt, and a good kick to the butt. But I doubt they sell that here. Although I can ask if you insist."

Jadeite still looked unhappy. "But I really shouldn't..."

"Jadeite, are you trying to make me mad? Because I can always make it a kick to the jewels if you make me mad enough."

He stared at her. "What jewels?"

She stared back. "Guess."

It took him a moment to get it, and then he blushed.

"Oh..." he said. And added. "I didn't know girls can speak like this and not drop down unconscious..."

Rei sneered. "You don't know a lot of things I can do. So, the t-shirt and the map it is, then."

Jadeite looked down on his chest.

"I still think it would look better in pink."