Jessica's eyes nearly bug out of her head first period when she sees that some of the Cullens are back.

'WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?' she scribbles on a scrap of graph paper, shoving it across at me.

I let out a humorless snort. As if I know.

It's tempting to just tune out her questions, the teacher, the world around me. It all seems pretty pointless now. Who needs trig, really, in the scheme of things? I sigh, and try and shake myself out of it. I am not going down that path again. I am here, and Charlie's here, and this is the life I have. I almost wasted it once, and even if it's not worth much, I'm not wasting it again.

Not without trying.

Alice seems at a loss as she sinks into the seat next to me in the cafeteria at lunch.

"We argued, a lot. God, everyone was shouting. Even Esme, and she nevershouts."

The dark circles under her eyes stand out in stark relief against Alice's pale skin.

"Bella, I told Carlisle what we talked about, on the plane."

God. A lifetime ago. Flying through an endless night, begging and pleading with Alice to turn me. My heart stutters and races at the thought. How much has changed. What use is eternity with no certainty? Could I really give up everything to bring Edward home, only to risk being on my own all over again? Forever?

Alice places one cold hand briefly on mine. I don't want her to ask. I don't want this to be the answer. It can't be the answer.

"I'm sorry, Bella. It was the one thing we agreed on. Carlisle maintains there would be no guarantee Aro would honor the bargain. Esme doesn't believe you should make the decision under these circumstances. Rose, well. Rose has her own views. And I just can't … Bella, I can't see. I can't know. And I won't let something so irreversible happen until it's clearer."

I should feel relief. Instead it feels like some irreversible hashappened. Like something intangible has just slipped through my fingers. I can't look at Alice.

Jessica and Angela join the table in a noisy rush of chatter about prom. Jess is trying her hardest not to stare at Alice, who is pushing the leaves of her salad around with her fork. My head is pounding.

"So, will you come?"

I realize with a start that Jessica is looking for an answer from me. She rolls her eyes at my blank expression, but Angela takes pity on me, "To Seattle, next weekend. To look for dresses."

"I can't. I'm grounded."

Alice swivels to look at me, confused and worried. Her gift always gave me a sense of comfort, certainty. Now it seems that there's no real protection from the future after all.

"I...took an unauthorized road trip with Alice. Charlie bugged out a little. It's no big deal," I tell Jessica, trying to make it sound as boring as possible. She pauses, as if she's about to ask more questions, but is torn by finding Alice too intimidating. Mike and Ben stroll up then, and I'm more than relieved to be taken out of the spotlight.

"Okay, well. You'll be stuck with whatever you can buy online I guess", she shrugs. She turns back to Angela and tries to engage Mike in their conversation about asymmetric necklines. Angela gives me a small, sympathetic smile.

As we head out of the cafeteria, Alice tugs me to one side urgently.

"I don't see you being grounded, Bella. What does this mean?"

"You won't, I guess. I have to spend all my spare time on the Rez."

Alice's jaw drops. "With the WOLVES? Those mutts? Bella, you can't be serious!"

I shrug, opening my locker and hauling out the textbooks I need for the afternoon. "There's no way around it. Even if I thought the wolves were a danger to me, which they're not. I can't let Charlie down again."

Alice's features curl up in a mixture of concern and disgust.

"Maybe if I talk to him...Bella, he can't make you do what he wants any more. I mean, I know you love him, but..."

"No." The locker door slams louder than I mean it to. I lean against it with a sigh. "Alice, I know you mean well, and you want to keep me safe. You...all...want to keep me safe. You're going to have to trust me on this. The wolves can protect me from Victoria, they took Laurent apart easily. I have to do what Charlie wants this time. I owe it to him."

Jasper comes up behind Alice, and wraps an arm about her waist. She melts back into him, and I can see him dissipate the cloud of anxiety surrounding her. "Everything okay?"

"It will be," I manage, with a certainty I don't really feel. "I'll see you guys later."

After school finishes, I drive straight to the Reservation, and as promised, I call Charlie as soon as I get there. He asks to speak to Emily, and the sinking realization that he trusts me about as far as he can throw me is almost more than I can stand. She promises to send me home with fish fry and hands me back the phone.

I help one of Jacob's younger cousins with his spelling homework, and then Emily and I chop vegetables for dinner in companionable silence. She has a country station on low volume and there's something about the warm kitchen and the music that makes me miss my mother. Maybe this whole idea is crazy; maybe it's time to give up on the Pacific Northwest and the monsters that go bump in the night.

"Charlie will come around, you know."

I suppose that she's right. I just need to prove to him that I'm not about to disappear again. But I don't know if that's enough. I don't know whether regaining Charlie's trust is enough of a reason to stay.

"It was hard for him, last time. With you so upset. He doesn't want that to happen again."

I exhale with a sad huff. "It's not like last time, Emily."

"Maybe not," she says quietly, as she rolls out the pastry in front of her. "But how is he to know? How is anyone to know?"

I set my knife down and look at her. It feels like we're not really talking about Charlie anymore.

"I'll finish the pie," she says, after a long pause. "Maybe you could head out to the barn."

My stomach sinks. I knew there was no chance of avoiding Jake indefinitely, but facing him straight away seems particularly daunting.

"He doesn't want to see me."

"Day and night cannot dwell together, Bella. You need to decide who your friends are, and who your enemies are."

I shake my head in resignation, wiping my hands on the apron as I untie it. "You, of all people, should know it's not that easy."

Jake is crouching on the floor of the barn, tinkering with something on one of the bikes. The sight of it causes a pang of recognition and sorrow. I'd give almost anything to go back a few weeks. The two of us were almost happy here, with the smell of grease on his hands and the straw underfoot. He doesn't look up.

"This wasn't my idea." He sounds angry, defensive.

"I know."

"I'd sooner he sent you to Florida. The leech wouldn't be able to stand the sun."

I don't know if he means Edward or Victoria. Or Alice, for that matter. I sit down on a wooden crate on the other side of the bike, tucking one foot up underneath me and picking at my shoelace.

Neither of us says anything. The only sound is the wrench twisting, probably with more force than needed.

"Jake, I..."

"Don't." He cuts me off abruptly, sinking back onto his heels and looking up at me with a devastated expression. "I don't want to hear it. I know all that I need to. When it came down to it, after everything he put you through, you were still prepared to drop everything to go to his side."

"His life was in danger."

"YOUR life was in danger!" Jacob spits back in frustration. "It still is. And where is he? Is he here to protect you?"

I want to leap to Edward's defense, but instead my eyes burn with hot tears. Jacob drops the wrench immediately and strides around the bike to crouch beside me, dragging me into a hug.

"Don't...don't cry," he sighs, stroking my hair as I bury my face in his chest. "I don't ever want you crying again. God, Bella. What he's put you through..."

I shake my head, gasping in helpless sobs. It's as if all the shock and adrenaline of the last few days has worn off and I can suddenly feel every last nerve-ending fire with pain.

"It's okay," Jake soothes, kissing my forehead softly. "It's gonna be okay."

I've never wanted to believe anything more.

.x.X.x.

Thanks to acciobourbon for the rec over at ADF, and for the other loyal readers leaving reviews week after week. You guys are amazing.