Chapter 8: Broken

I was lying in my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. The only light in the room came from the dim moonlight which shone through my open window. It was 3 am and I was not getting any sleep at all. The events that took place earlier were still playing in my mind. One question just kept bugging me.

What was going on in Malfoy's life?

I sighed and rolled over, closing my eyes and trying to block out those nagging thoughts, but my efforts were futile. Finally, I got up, threw on a robe over my pajamas and headed to the Common Room. On a small desk near the fireplace, there was a jug of water. I poured myself a glass of water and gulped it down, hoping to wash away all the unnecessary worrying and paranoia.

Suddenly, I heard a weird sound. I scanned the room but it was hard to see when the only source of light came from the small fire cracking away in the dead of night. The sound came again and I strained my ears to find out what exactly was the sound. I heard it again and I realized it sounded a lot like…

Whimpering?

I noticed the light in Malfoy's room was on through the small gap between his door and the floor. I cautiously approached it and I heard it again.

I shakily placed my hand on the knob. My mind was screaming out to me in protest.

What the heck are you doing, Hermione?

Just leave Malfoy alone!

Just forget about him and go back to bed!

But it was as if my body had a mind of its own. Before I realized what I was doing, I turned the knob and slowly opened the door. Breathing in deeply, I peered inside the room to find the most absurd sight.

There he was on the floor, leaning against the foot of his bed. He was sobbing violently with his eyes shut tightly. His hair was completely disheveled and I suddenly realized that he was only clad in a long silver silk pajama bottom. I blushed deeply as I took in Malfoy's slender but masculine physique. His chest broad and his arms toned. I shook my head to snap out of my fan-girlish trance.

Here I was, ogling at Malfoy as he wept on the floor.

What's wrong with you Hermione?

I hesitantly approached the Slytherin as he continued sobbing. His eyes were still shut tight and he didn't realize that I was there. Slowly, I got onto my knees beside him.

"M-Malfoy?" I stuttered as I placed a hand upon his shoulder, shuddering slightly at his cold, bare skin.

His head snapped up and his eyes met mine. They were red and puffy and wet from all his tears. I was stunned at how much emotion there was in those piercing metallic eyes of his.

Grief.

Regret.

Guilt.

Confusion.

Fear.

I expected Malfoy to push me away or tell me to get lost, or even hex me for touching him. But his next gesture stunned me speechless.

He closed his eyes again and laid his head against my shoulder, another wave of violent sobs attacking him.

I was frozen in utter shock.

I had no idea what to do.

Draco Malfoy, the Pureblood Slytherin Deatheater, was crying on my shoulder.

Awkwardly, I placed my arms around his shoulder as he buried his face into my neck, sending a tingle down my spine.

Never had I seen him so…broken.

Suddenly, something in Malfoy's hand caught my eye.

A white parchment.

Slowly, I reached out and pried the parchment from Malfoy's tight grip. Thank goodness he was too busy crying to notice me taking the letter from him.

Most likely, this was the reason for Malfoy's breakdown.

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

We regret to inform you that your mother, Narcissa Malfoy, has passed away. We tried our best to revive her, but it was to no avail. No potion or spell was strong enough to save her. She did have one final message for you before her death. She asked us to tell you that she loved you and was very proud of you.

Please come by any time this week to make the preparations for her funeral and to pay off the fare of your mother's stay in the hospital for the past few weeks.

Once again, we are truly sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,

The staff of St. Mungo's Hospital

My throat closed up and my heart dropped as I read the letter. Now it all made sense to me.

Him spacing out all the time and always in deep thought…

Him tearing up in the Great Hall during breakfast that morning…

He must have been thinking about his mother.

And him disappearing all the time, apparating from Hogsmeade that day…

He must have been visiting his mother.

That was what Pansy and Blaise were referring to…

Oh Merlin.

I placed the letter on the ground and held Malfoy tightly. I was overcome with a wave of sympathy and pity for him.

Poor Malfoy.

No one deserves to go through the pain of losing their mother.

I was far too familiar with that pain, which was probably what made me feel even more sorry for Malfoy.

I gently rocked him back and forth as he continued to sob into my neck.

At least in these few seconds, I could try to give him as much comfort as possible.

I had no idea how long I was sitting there, but I noticed his sobs finally dying down. There was a moment of silence before he suddenly pulled away from me and stared at me in shock over what had just happened.

"Granger…Oh no…" his gaze averted to the ground as his actions finally hit him. He noticed the letter beside me and how I was gazing at him sorrowfully.

"I'm so sorry Malfoy..." I started but he cut me off.

"No! I don't want or need your pity! What makes you think you can just come into my room in the middle of the night!" he yelled as he wiped away his tears hastily and jumped up.

"Well, I heard you crying and…" I started again by he cut me off, again.

"I don't care. You are not to breathe a word of this to anyone. Understand? Just forget all this happened." he snapped.

"Malfoy, I just thought you would like some…"

"Some what? Pity? Just because I was in a moment of weakness, does NOT make me weak. Or in need of your sympathy. And do not think that whatever just happened changes anything. You are still a Mudblood and will forever be a Mudblood, who will never be equal to me. Now, get out!" he snarled as he shoved me towards the door.

My blood boiled at how he just shouted at me like that after I tried to do a nice thing. I had reached the door before I whipped around and seethed at him.

"You know what, Malfoy. I just wanted to help. I just wanted to comfort you. I thought at least now you would be a bit nicer to me. I try to help you and this is the thanks I get? I really thought at least now you won't be a git like you always are to me. But I was wrong. You will never change, will you Malfoy? You will always be a cold, heartless monster!" I screamed in his face before storming away.

I raced into my room and slammed the door shut, letting the tears run down my face freely. I never meant to burst out at him like that. Now I felt so bad. He was already going through the trauma of losing his mother, and now I go and yell those nasty comments at him.

But just hearing those things from him made me snap. And once I opened my mouth, I couldn't hold back.

I had half a mind to go back and apologize to him for saying all those things. But I finally decided not to.

I had done nothing wrong. I tried to help him, he was the one who refused it.

If he wouldn't let me in, why should I even bother trying?

I sighed and wiped away my tears as I climbed back into bed and wrapped the covers tight around me. After a while of trying to forget what had just happened, I finally fell into a deep sleep. But there was still one thought which stuck in my mind.

Ironic, how i called him cold and heartless when he had just shown more emotion than ever.

No "heartless monster" could ever display so much sorrow from losing a loved one.

Maybe Malfoy really did have a heart..