Lightening streaked through the blackened sky as Payson drove through the pouring rain. Deep inside she knew her mother would be extremely angry and worried if she knew that she was driving in this weather all the way to Denver. She glanced down at the clock as the GPS alerted her that she was only ten miles away. It was ten o' clock, which meant that Sasha was most likely still awake considering it was a Friday night. She knew what she wanted to say to Sasha once she got there, she had been planning this moment out in her head since the day he left. Every time the encounter was a bit different, sometimes he would walk off without listening, sometimes he'd agree to come back, and others… he'd refuse to come back and tell Payson it was all her fault.

Payson gripped the wheel tighter as that thought crossed her mind. No matter what anyone said, deep down Sasha leaving felt like it was entirely her fault. She had been the one to kiss him, to crush on him, to cross boundaries that made him look unprofessional to everyone else. Hopefully she would find whoever leaked the picture some day and give them a proper payback. It was never in Payson's personality to get revenge for wrong doings, even when they were against her. This situation however made her entire body urge for whoever did this to be hurting as badly as she was. She knew if this situation was upsetting her to this extent that Sasha must be in even worse shape which just fueled her anger.

After driving ten minutes around the outskirts of Denver she pulled up in front of the Denver Cage Fighting club. A few yards away from the building in a patch of grass was the unmistakable trailer of one Sasha Belov. The lights were all out in the building, which surprised Payson. She always figured cage fighters stayed there at all hours getting their asses kicked. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. The lights in Sasha's trailer were thankfully on, so she jumped out of her car and darted for his trailer, quickly regretting having left her jacket in the car.

Her ballet flats slapped against the soaked grass for a few seconds before her fist was slamming against Sasha's door. She knew he was awake and he couldn't hide from her now. After a second of rustling from inside the door open and a grim looking Sasha appeared and silently stepped to the side to let Payson inside.

"Your mother and coach are both worried sick about you, you know." He said his voice dangerously low like when he was reprimanding her for doing a trick he didn't think she could handle yet.

Payson nodded as she stepped inside and looked at him. He looked her up and down once before heading towards his bed area and throwing a fluffy white robe at her. She looked down and blushed. Thankfully she had thought to wear a bra beneath her pajamas, but they were still soaked to the point they were see through. She slid the robe on gratefully and looked up at him. "Thanks" she murmured.

"Don't thank me quite yet Payson. I know why you're here and I'm not coming back." He glared at her.

Payson straightened up. "Why not Sasha, we need you." She watched as he sat on his unmade bed. "The Rock has become a joke since you left. There's absolutely no discipline."

Sasha snorted. "Isn't that what most of you wanted? More free reign, to have more fun? You're all better off without me there. I did what I needed to do; I showed you all that you could be winners if you truly wanted to."

"Your job isn't done though Sasha! You promised me that you would be there to get me to the Olympics; you promised Emily that she could trust you that you wouldn't leave her. Kaylie could be coming back at any day from her therapy and who is she going to need most when she does?" she stared pointedly at Sasha, who was waiting patiently for Payson to finish her tirade. "And Lauren, god Lauren… You're the only person in her life that is willing to put their foot down. Summer and her dad both let her get away with practically anything! She needs someone in her life who will keep her grounded and that person is you!"

"Are you done now?" he asked.

"Depends, are you coming back?" she shot back at him, crossing her arms.

Sasha sighed and pushed himself off his bed and walked to her keeping a couple of feet between them. "I will not come back Payson. It's not my job to babysit Lauren. I already failed Kaylie once, I should have noticed she wasn't eating properly. And as for Emily… That's something I wish I could change but she's a strong girl and will get over me leaving her. I'm sure she understands the circumstances." He frowned deeply at that statement.

Payson bit back the angry tears that were threatening to form in her eyes. She tightened the soft robe around her trying to gather her thoughts as Sasha watched her tentatively. A faint scent that she would never forget wafted from the robe, the scent that haunted her memories, the same scent that emanated from the kiss that ruined everything. "….and me?" she asked softly.

They looked into each others eyes, a clash of stormy grey and icy blue. A moment later he answered. "You Payson, are quite possibly the best gymnast I have ever had the pleasure working with. I did my best to help you find your way in artistry gymnastics and you accomplished it more beautifully than I could have ever hoped for. I have absolutely no doubts in my mind that you will go to the Olympics, with or without me. If you keep training hard and being the Payson I know and trained, then I'd even be willing to put my money on you winning gold." He started to smile at her but stopped when he saw a tear escape her eye. All of a sudden Payson burst into a rage he had never had the displeasure of seeing before.

"If you really thought that you wouldn't leave! Why in the world would you want to see me reach gold and not be the coach to get me there! The only reason I'm as good as I am now after my surgery is because of you Sasha I need you more than I ever needed anyone before!" she screamed at him more tears bursting through her carefully built damn.

Sasha had never seen her like this before and it scared him, he opened his mouth to say something and she shook her head. "Don't feed me bull shit about me not needing you. If you hadn't been there for me during and after my injury I would have given up completely Sasha. I need you, no one else is as good of a coach and I'm damn sure no one understands what I need to do in order to get to where I want to be better than you. Darby sure as hell doesn't. You know she lifted the no dating rule and every other rule? Everyone is running around like hormone induced animals, coming and going as they please, and no one seems to give a damn about gymnastics anymore. Next week we have an invitational against Boston Elite, but at this point we'll get completely crushed. We need order in the gym Sasha we need y—"

Payson's yelling spree was suddenly cut off by Sasha's lips. He held her face to his and kissed her deeply, his soft lips feeling slightly demanding against hers. Instinctually Payson started to kiss back but a moment later his lips were gone. Slowly she opened her eyes to see him staring at her, his hands still holding her face. It was as if he could read her mind and suddenly let go of her face and stepped back.

Confusion swept through Payson's mind. Was he trying to show her how awkward he felt for her kissing him? Was it really her fault that he left? "Its my fault you left… isn't it?" she stared at him for a moment as he seemed to struggle with an answer. He looked like he was in complete shock. Perhaps he hadn't thought she would figure it out so quickly.

"Payson I'm so sorry…" he started

She shook her head, "No I'm sorry I shouldn't have come."

She opened the trailer door and ran outside, thanking the heavens that the rain had finally stopped and slammed her car door shut once she got in. Quickly turning the car on, she grabbed her cell and called the only person she could think of. It was nearly 11 pm but she figured Kaylie would still be awake.

Thankfully she answered after only two rings "Pay shouldn't you be at the gym right now? I heard theres a slumber party tonight." Kaylie sounded confused and worried.

"I bolted, look can I please stay the night tonight? I'm in Denver right now but I can probably be there in two to three hours. I really don't want to go home right now." Payson was trying to hold back the tears that had momentarily stopped when Sasha kissed her.

She could almost see the worry lining Kaylie's face. Payson never needed time away from home before. "Yeah sure, I'll make sure to watch for you so I can let you in. Now get off the phone so you can drive safely." Kaylie had hung up the phone before Payson could reply.

Payson paused at the next stop sign and punched Kaylie's address into the GPS, worried that she would miss a sign in the dark. As she continued driving to Kaylie's house she replayed the confrontation with Sasha in her head. She was frustrated at how easily he dismissed the other girls… But then again the month or so before he left the Rock, his full attention had been on her. Did that make it her fault that the other three girls had gone so out of control? She shook her head. Payson had needed Sasha more than ever after her surgery and everyone understood that. Or at least, she hoped they did.

She mentally moved on to the next part of their argument and brought of her hands to her lips where she could still clearly feel his lips smashed against hers. She had felt the light scruff of his beard on her face and his scent… she could still remember it like he was sitting in the car with her. That's when she looked down and noticed that she still had his robe on. A soft groan emitted from her lips at her own stupidity. Now she had two things of his and both he probably wanted back. But looking down at the robe again she noticed a logo on it from the hotel they had all stayed in at their last invitational. She stifled a laugh. It was so Sasha to knick a robe from a hotel room.

A confusing thought suddenly crossed Payson's mind as she finally entered Boulder city limits. When Marty had left, she felt hurt and angry but was able to move on from the disappointment quickly. Why was it then, that Sasha had been gone for almost a month and she still felt the aching need to have him back? Perhaps it was because she was determined to show Marty that he was making a mistake giving up on the Rock—even though later she had found out that wasn't why he left. Not only that but Sasha had come along fairly quickly after his departure which was an upgrade for them. Now that Sasha was gone… there was no upgrading. Somehow that didn't feel like enough of a reason for the pain she was feeling now though.

Kaylie watched as Payson's car pulled up into the driveway and opened her front door. In the past ten years that she had known the girl, Kaylie had never seen the perfectly poised Payson so disheveled. After Kaylie hung up from Payson's frantic phone call she had sat on her bed in shock. She had never heard her friend so close to tears other than when she had broken her back. Saying that it shook her up would be a bit of an understatement. She had called Payson's mom right after and told her that Payson would be spending the night and she was okay.

Payson ran from her car up the porch, a fuzzy white bathrobe tied loosely and falling off her right shoulder as she slammed into Kaylie hugging her with all her might. "Shh Pay, its going to be alright. C'mon, you look like hell. Lets get you inside and in a shower first." Payson nodded as she let Kaylie guide her into her large and sometimes confusing home until they reached Kaylie's personal bathroom.

As she pushed the other girl onto the lidded toilet, Kaylie turned on the hot water. "Pay are you going to be okay alone? I'm just going to run to the laundry room to grab a couple of towels for you and get a pair of my pjs for you to sleep in." The blond nodded mutely and started pushing off her robe as Kaylie hesitantly left the bathroom.

Grabbing the softest towels off the pile of freshly cleaned laundry Kaylie rushed back up to her room which was right next to her bathroom. She shuffled through her dresser drawers trying to find something that Payson would feel comfortable in. Something baggier, not too girly, comfortable. Finally finding a pair of boring pjs that her dad had gotten her a year ago in hopes that she'd stall on becoming girly and sexy she grabbed them and rushed into the bathroom again. Payson was still showering so she set them on the toilet and walked back to her bedroom.

After everything that had happened since Worlds Trial, Kaylie wasn't surprised that Payson had finally hit her breaking point. She also knew that Payson would despise the news that she had to give her tonight. The one thing Payson had been looking forward to the Invitational with Boston Elite since Darby had become coach. She hadn't made it a secret that it was the only thing Darby had done that she approved of. Once she found out Boston Elite had been replaced with Pinewood… She would flip her lid.

A few minutes later Payson walked into Kaylie's room, wrapped back up in the same robe over the fresh pjs and hair still wrapped up in a towel. As Kaylie opened her mouth to speak, Payson shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm sure you already know where I went, and obviously how it turned out. Can we just… talk about you tonight?" she asked pleadingly.

Kaylie sighed. "Yeah, but first Lauren texted me and told me if I heard from you to tell you that Boston Elite dropped out. Pinewood is now coming to the Rock." She had expected Payson to start screaming and throwing a fit, but instead she just flopped onto Kaylie's bed on her stomach mumbling something into the bedding. "I didn't quite catch that…" she said jokingly.

Payson moved her head to the side to look at Kaylie. "I said, great just one more lame ass thing to look forward to next week." She rolled her eyes and the closed them sighing softly.

A moment of silence passed before Kaylie started talking again. "So… tonight Damon performed at the Shack… and all the Rock girls showed up. Including Emily." She put a slight emphasis on the last part hoping to catch Payson's full attention.

It worked, Payson's eyes shot wide open and she sat up. "But Emily isn't supposed to go anywhere besides her house and the Rock, if an NGO official had caught her…"

"That one NGO that's been tailing her constantly showed up. Apparently he forgot something in the gym when he left and went back to find it empty. Summer showed up a minute later and figured the girls were at the Shack so she gave him the long directions. They just barely got her out and back at home in time and thankfully the NGO was distracted by one drunken Darby Conrad." She finished her story with a smirk, hoping Darby getting caught drunk with the girls would make Payson laugh.

Payson rolled her eyes again but didn't look amused as Kaylie had hoped. "Why am I not surprised? That girl belongs in a fricken Sorority not a gym that currently has three elite gymnasts who are contenders for the Olympic team! I really hope the National Team committee finds out and orders for her to be fired. We need a real coach." She huffed as she leaned against Kaylie's headboard.

Kaylie looked at her friend and frowned. "We can't have Sasha back Pay…"

The blond girl sighed as she ruffled her hair with the towel drying it more before throwing the towel in Kaylie's clothes basket. "I know… I just…" she struggled a moment before clearing her throat. "How did you know what happened at the Shack?" she asked with fake curiosity.

"Oh uh…" Kaylie started nervously. "Well, I've been working with Damon in my moms recording studio. We actually… Kinda sang a song together tonight." She blushed remembering how she felt on stage singing the song with the cute and mysterious singer.

"He's Emily's boyfriend Kaylie." Payson said with her disapproving tone.

Kaylie groaned and fell back onto her bed. "I know Pay, god do I ever know. But when we're singing together, putting lyrics together… Something just… clicks you know? I haven't done anything, and I won't because I know Em loves him. But Pay, he's helping me understand who I am and what I'm feeling. I finally figured out how to get out everything that gymnastics forced me to hold in."

Payson studied her for a moment before responding. "Just be careful okay? We can't handle another Lauren and Carter situation." Kaylie flinched. "Exactly, you know how it feels. Don't make Emily go through that too."

"It would happen like this wouldn't it? The girl who gets her heart crushed by her best friend and boyfriend ends up crushing on her friends' boyfriend. Ugh. The world is cruel." Kaylie said.

Payson sighed quietly and decided to redirect the conversation. "So you're starting to come to terms with your feelings about gymnastics?"

Kaylie nodded and looked up at her. "I started a diary the other day. Don't tell anyone about this… My parents don't even know about it yet. It really helps though… I just write out everything that comes to mind without even really thinking about it. Later on I read it over and its just… Wow. I never realized how much I was holding in because of gymnastics." She frowned.

"Gymnastics is grueling mentally and physically. It kinda sucks that we don't get to find that out until its pretty much too late to back out." Payson said sadly. "I'm glad you're finally realizing it though… I hope writing things out helps. We really miss you at the gym, and you know you can talk to any of us if it gets to be too much again right?"

Kaylie raised an eyebrow at her causing Payson to laugh. "Okay you can come to Emily and I. We're always going to be here for you, but we can't do that if we don't know that you're not okay."

Kaylie reached over and hugged her friend. "Thanks Pay."

"Anytime Kay."

A/N: Okay, so first off this is getting posted A LOT later than I wanted. It should have been done a week ago but my computer decided it wanted to die. Last night I was finally able to start it long enough to get it off my computer and finish it off.

Secondly, I know this is going slow but after this it will hopefully start to pick up. I needed to have a few chapters with mainly background information to get a standing of where the story is picking up at. Thanks for reading!