-Okay now its getting sort of sad to keep reminding myself that i do not own Degrassi nor their characters.

But i have to admit i am happy i own this storyline. so YAY ME!

*the song i were listening to were Shake by Jesse McCartney and Stolen by Dashboard Confessions.

-Excuse my typos and thanks for the Reviews. You guys bring me great joy. Honestly! please keep reviewing.

oh btw i got the title for this Chapter from Big Time Rush's Song Count on You with Jordin Sparks. l0l.

So enough with my rambling. . . .ENJOY!

Tonight, I Love You

Chapter 6

Count On You

(Clare POV)

The nerves of some people!

My mood went from crap to good then all the way back down to crap within 12 hours. Eli was just happy before he dropped me off so what could actually bring his joy down? I've known him for three days and he is already making me regret it.

No, wait, I take that back. Eli was a good friend for stopping my petty argument with Jenna before Principal Simpson came into sight. Then it wasn't going to pretty if my mother had to come up to the school.

The thought of my mother made me quickly look at the clock. She was supposed to been home 30 minutes ago. I stood up and walked to my dresser looking in the mirror. My face didn't look as bad as it did this morning, but it wasn't much of an improvement either. After pulling my clothes out of the drawer, I walked into my bathroom and got into shower.

Once I got out of the shower, I put on a tee shirt and a pair of sweats. I was about to read my new Pop Star magazine until I heard the front door close. I put the magazine back down and sat quietly on the bed. My mother hasn't said anything yet. That's not a good start. I usually call that stage one.

Since my parents got a divorce, I've came accustom to my mother's on and off behavior. The off behavior is when she is sweet and kind to me. I always love it when she is on her off behavior. The on behavior is when she is angry at me for the little things. She would say things to me that make me feel useless and unwanted. That's when the stages began. It's hard to explain the stages but it's this thing I started doing. Sometimes it helps me realize when I need to make an exit from her before it gets really bad. It usually only get to stage three but when she gets to stage four she would be hitting me. Even though it rarely happens, it still terrifies me to know it might be coming. Yeah stage four seems to be the worst stage, but stage three is what hurts me the most.

I got off the bed and opened my door. As I was walking down the stairs I can hear my mother mumbling under her breath. She seemed to have been drinking. I call that one stage two. But wait for it, stage three better.

She stood up straight. She looked over inside the sink.

Damn the dishes. How can I forget?

"CLARE EDWARDS WHY ISN'T MY KITCHEN CLEAN?" She yelled at the top of her lungs. I ran to the sink before she can get too angry at me.

"I'm s-s-sorry mom. I had a major assignment to do, and the dishes slipped my mind." I rambled.

"That's not an excuse, if you can make time to eat my food, you can make time to wash my dishes."

"Actually mom I didn't eat yet."

"Are you smart mouthing me Clare?" Her eyes tried to focus on my face

"No mom, really I am not."

She shook her head as in disbelief.

"After all I've done for you; you can't do anything right for me. You are a worthless, lazy bitch, and no guy would ever marry you if you keep that up. That's why you father left us and ran off to marry his super young assistant." She took a sip of the beer in her hand. "Darcy was a way better daughter than you would ever be. You are nothing but a big mistake. Darcy was great and you just sat there and let her die. " She spat those words at me like I wasn't even her daughter. And THAT ladies and gentlemen, that's stage three.

I just looked up at her as I continued to wash the few dished in the sink.

I bet you thought I was going to say something back. No way, so she can beat me. I knew my mother loved me. She was just a different person, when she was drunk; she wasn't herself. I was use to the abuse. Some comments were more painful than the others. The ones about the divorce didn't bother me, but the comments about the death of my sister always hit my soft spot.

My mother rolled her eyes at me and walked upstairs to her room. I relaxed a little. I started to think about Darcy. It's like she left me here to deal with all of this. The more I thought about it the angrier I got.

I drained the water out of the sink. As I was walking up the stairs, my mother came out of her room.

"I am going out." She said as she walked past me. I didn't find that hard to believe. I just nodded my head, even though she was already out the door, and walked to my room. I walked to my chair and grabbed my coat. After I unlocked my window for later, I grabbed my cell phone off my dresser and walked out my room and out the door.

There was a breeze outside, which was kind of weird compared to the sunny August weather. I zipped my coat up and walked down the sidewalk. I haven't walked this way since my parents decided to get a divorce seven months ago.

I walked up to the gate of the cemetery and walked in. Every time I walked in I realized I was always at peace. This was strange. Cemeteries were always spooky and scary, but not since this became Darcy's permanent home. I walked around giant headstones not recognizing anyone I knew here. I was walking for three minutes when I walked up a headstone that read:

Darcy Cassandra Edwards

January 6, 1990 – August 9, 2007

"Loving Daughter and Granddaughter, Great Big Sister and Classmate"

"Hey Darcy" I sat down by the headstone, "It's been a year."

As I was "talking" to Darcy, I heard footsteps. I stood up and turned around.

"Shit!" A voice said from the dark figure, a short distance away. The voice sounded quiet familiar.

"Eli?" I said not sure if it was really him. The figure stops and looked my way.

"Clare? Is that you?" it said after a short pause. I didn't answer because I knew for sure it was Eli and I was still upset with him. I sat back down.

Eli walked closer to me. I turned back towards Darcy's grave.

"Clare, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry I don't want to bother you with answering."

He sat down beside me.

"Clare . . . I didn't mean to make you think you were bothering me. I wasn't thinking before I sent that last message."

"Well I think it's good to think before you do things Eli."

"I know Clare." It became silent for a moment. I didn't know what else to say to him.

"Clare, why are you here?" I looked up at him and back at Darcy's grave.

"To visit my sister"

"Her name was Darcy?"

"Yeah, she died a year ago today."

"I'm sorry Clare."

"It's not your fault." I smiled, looking back up at him. "I just miss her a lot."

"If you don't mind me asking . . . how did she die?" I took a deep breath, ready to tell Darcy's story.

"She killed herself because she didn't feel the need to live any longer."

"Wow"

"I know right, I couldn't believe it myself. She had everything; she was beautiful, smart, a wonderful boyfriend, and she had the greatest personality. Everyone that ever met her was instantly loved her."

"Since she had all of that, why did she kill herself?"

"Well, a few months before that she was on a ski trip with her boyfriend and a couple of other friends to do an early celebration of them going into their Senior Year in high school, and some man raped her." I played with my purity ring. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. "I miss her Eli." He pulled me into a hug. I cried in his shoulders.

"I know you do Clare, she was your big sister." I looked up at him.

"How can I be so angry at her?"

"What do you mean?"

"After she died, my dad started cheating and my parents got a divorce. My mother started drinking and when she drinks, she always blaming me for everything. Like tonight she told me that I was a mistake, and that I let Darcy kill herself. It's true Eli. I knew Darcy hated herself but she never talked about killing herself. I knew she was sad, but I still didn't tell my parents!" I was now crying hysterically in front of Eli Goldsworthy. How embarrassing.

He pulled me into his arms.

"Clare you are not responsible for her death. I mean like you said you didn't know she was thinking about killing herself. And as for being a mistake, your mother doesn't mean that. It was probably the beer talking. You are amazing Clare. I know I haven't known you for only a few days, but anyone can tell you are." I sat up and wiped my face. I smiled at Eli, and he smiled back.

"I can't believe I told you everything. I didn't even tell Alli about my mom." Eli's smirk crept upon his face.

"Maybe, because I mean something to you"

"Wow Eli, Smug much?"

"Always Clare, remember that"

We laughed and I looked around. I realized we were still in the cemetery and I started wondering why Eli was here. I looked at him again. He was reading Darcy's headstone.

"Eli"

He looked back up at me.

"Yeah"

"Why are you here?" His expression dropped. He turned his head, as if he was looking at something else. Something not so far from where we were sitting.

"To visit my girlfriend, Julia"

(Eli POV)

"Your Girlfriend?"

"Yeah. She died last year about two days ago."

"Wow Eli, I'm so sorry." A soft smile played on my lips. Clare was so beautiful.

"Well it's not your fault. It's mostly mine."

"What do you mean?" I took a deep breath. It was too soon to tell Clare, but I had to. She told me about her mother, and her sister, and I know that was hard for her to talk about.

"I killed her Clare." Clare's face became scared. So I continued quickly. "I didn't kill her, kill her Clare. I was at my parent's favorite restaurant eating to celebrate my first year in high school, when Julia came to apologize for cheating on me with an old friend. I went outside to talk to her and I started yelling at her and screaming because I was upset. I loved Julia; I couldn't believe she would cheat on me. Well I got fed up with everything and I told her to get away from me. She was begging, asking me to give her a chance, but I told her I didn't want to see her ever again. I turned around to walk back inside the restaurant when she, not watching where she stepped, backed into the street and a SUV hit her." I took another deep breath, this time a tear ran down my face. "See Clare, I killed her. "

Clare jumped and pulled me into a tight hug. It felt nice. She pulled back only inches from my face.

"It was not your fault Eli. You weren't the one driving the car, and you didn't know that that would happen."

"I am always saying things that would hurt people Clare. First with Julia, and now with you."

"Its fine, but I do want to know what that was about."

"Well I was feeling guilty about Julia. And every time I think about what had happened I feel guilty and like crap."

"It's not healthy to take your frustration out on innocent bystanders." I smiled at her and stood up.

"Well innocent bystander, can I give you a ride home to say that I am sorry?'

She looked at the hand I held out to help her stand up. She looked at her sister's grave.

"I love you Darcy." She said as she grabbed my hand and stood up. She dusted her clothes off.

I started to walk to the car. Clare walked up beside me.

"How ironic" She said to herself.

"What's that?"

"We are leaving a grave yard in a hearse."

I laughed at her comment and opened the door for her to get in. I walked around to the driver's side and got in.

"Very ironic Clare"

I started the car and drove to Clare's house. We talked about little things. It was sort of comforting. Once we got to the house, I noticed a car wasn't in the drive way. I looked over at Clare who felt relieved at the fact. She looked up at me.

"Well I guess this is my stop." She smiled slightly.

"Yeah I guess so." She opened the car door.

"Thanks Eli for the ride and for listening to me."

"It's nothing Clare, you can count on me. I'm here for you. And besides you listened to me too, so thanks."

"I guess you can count on me too." She smiled wide and closed the door. Once she opened the door she looked back me, waved and walked inside closing the door behind her.

I drove off thinking about the hour I just spent with Clare. When you look at her you would think her life was perfect and she had everything, but she was just a normal teenager.

I drove into my drive way and turned off Morty. I sat back in my seat reliving tonight in my head. Four days ago, I wasn't ready to move on. I wasn't ready to date. I walked though that park wishing I had Julia to hold on to and to be there with me. All I wanted was Julia . . .

Until I bumped into a perfect pair of blue eyes.

-Author's Note-

Well hoped you liked. And btw right now (in the story) its 2008 and they are sophmores.

That explains why Darcy's Headstone said 2007. im not telling a lot but They will "reunite" for senior year. l0l.

that was a total spoiler right! l0l. sorry.

thanks.