Disclaimer: I donot own Degrassi but this is my story line.

I Am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sorry That I Havent Wrote Anything In A LONG Time. I Was Recently In The Air Force Bootcamp. So Of Course I Didnt Have The Time. I Cant Promise To Add Another Chapter Soon Because I Leave for College Next Week :) But I AM Going To Do The Best I Can. Thats My Word.

The Songs I Was Listening To Was Open Road (I Love Her) by Chris Brown && Watch N' Learn by Rihanna.

PLEASE Enjoy. && Excuse My Typos.

Tonight, I Love You

Chapter 12

The Past..It Haunts You

(Clare POV)

For some odd reason, I couldn't get Eli out of mind. Every since I opened the door and walked inside my dark, but peaceful home. All the feelings I had for him came rushing back. Who would've thought he would go through all that trouble just to ask me about a scar. I guess it was a sweet gesture, I mean it was good spending time like that after school, so yes I'm happy it happened.

After washing the dirty dishes in the sink, I walked to my room & logged onto my Skype. I walked to my bed, picked up a magazine and waited for someone to IM me.

*Bing*

I smiled and looked up from the magazine to see if it was Eli who binged me.

Charles_Edwards Wants To Video Chat

I stared at the screen couldn't believe, didn't want to believe that he found my Skype page.

Charles_Edwards : Clare Please Chat With Me.

Charles_Edwards : I Miss You Baby Girl.

Charles_Edwards : Please Clare ! I Know You're Mad But Just Hear Me Out.

I just stared at the screen. Why after all this time he wants to talk? He did this to my life. He left me and my mom for some older lady. He caused my mother to start drinking and blaming me for every and anything. So being mad right now was such an understatement. I was pissed, anger, enraged, but happy to see he's trying to reach out to me.

But why now? Why is he begging me to hear him out? I have nothing to say to him. I wonder do he even go visit my sister. Why does he feel he has to do this to me. He have no idea what I've been going through. How my life turned out because of HIM. Another Bing came from the computer. I didn't want to read his new message but I looked anyway but luckily it was from Eli.

Eli-Golds: Clare-Bear Are You Waiting For Me ? ;]

I looked at the screen maybe Eli will know what to do or can at least give me some advice.

ClareRockx: I Need Help.

Eli-Golds: What's Wrong ? Do I Need To Come Over ?

ClareRockx: No I Don't Think… My Dad Is Trying To Reach Out To Me. He Haven't Been Here For Me Emotionally & Physically For Over A Year & Now He Wants To "Reach Out"? What Should I Do ?

Eli-Golds: Clare I Can't Say I Know How You Feel, But I Think Maybe There's A Reason Why He's Reaching Out Now. I Suggest You Give Him A Chance To Explain, But I Can Only Suggest. The Decision Is Up To You, Clare-Bear.

I thought about what Eli said and I guess he's right. It's really my decision if I want to let him in or not so maybe that's what I'll do.

ClareRockx: Thanks Goldsworthy.

Eli-Golds: Anytime

I clicked off the window Eli and I used and went to my dad's screen.

ClareRockx: Hey Dad.

(Eli POV)

I logged off the computer so Clare can talk to her father and not switch from the both of us. She was a forgiving person, so I hope her father knows the right things to say. I looked around my room to find something to direct my attention towards but to my luck, my bad luck, I had nothing to do.

I grabbed my jacket from off my chair and walked towards my door until I heard my phone ring. I walked over to my side table where I laid my phone and looked at the screen to notice it was an unknown caller. I wasn't going to answer but something about that number seemed very familiar.

"Hello?" I said preparing myself for the voice on the other end.

"Eli?" It was a female voice. A voice I haven't heard for a very long time, a year and few months ago.

"Susan?" She giggled barely audible.

"Wow, you remembered my voice?" Of course I remembered her voice. But what did she want? Why after so long she's calling me. I thought my message was clear to her.

"Why are you calling me?" I Said uninterested in the answer.

"I was thinking about you a couple months ago, so I asked around for your new number and I found it. I miss you Elijah."

"I don't miss you."

"How can you still be upset?"

"I'm still mad at myself just as much as I am at you."

"Are you still blaming yourself for what happened to Julia? Or you mad for ending us?" That pushed a button.

"Watch it Susan."

"What Eli? Did you think I would forget that night, after all I tried to do to get with you afterwards?" I rubbed my hand across my face. This is so not the time for this.

"Susan, Do you hear yourself?"

"Let's meet up Eli; catch up. Maybe have a little fun of our own." I can hear the smile. I sat down on my bed.

"I don't think so." She sighed loud and childishly. The way I remembered her, loud and childish, but Julia loved her best friend.

"Come on Eli."

"How can you still do this to Julia, Susan?"

"Do what Eli? I told you I wanted you first and then Julia pounced on you."

"I don't believe you, not then, not now."

"Why are you still hung up on her? She cheated on you. She's dead now get over it." I felt my blood boiling through my skin. She pushed the wrong button.

"Susan, I NEVER wanted you. Having sex with you was the biggest mistake I have made and will ever make. You are a psycho bitch who needs help. I still can't believe after all these years; you think we have a chance. It will never happen Susan, don't you get it? I will NEVER want you!" I said with so much venom in my voice, I just hope she gets the clue. We were quiet for what seemed like minutes.

"Eli you WILL realize I'm the one you wanted and come running back to me…"

"Don't hold your breath." I interrupted and hung up the phone.

I Laid back on my bed and closed my eyes. My mind ran back so many months ago until it landed on August 30, 2007.

(Clare POV)

Charles_Edwards: God You Answered Clare. How Are You?

ClareRockx: I'm Fine. What Do You Want?

Charles_Edwards: I wanted to talk to you Clare. I knew you wouldn't answer if I called so I thought maybe this will be a great way.

ClareRockx: Why after this long?

Charles_Edwards: I just missed you Clare.

ClareRockx: That's Believable.

Charles_Edwards: Clare I understand if you are mad at me. The only thing I do is send you money in mail and nothing else, so I understand why you're mad. I just want to make it up to you baby girl. After Darcy died things around that house started getting crazy, your mother and I wasn't the same. You were always sad, and the only person I had to really talk to was Janice. That's how I fell in love with her. I didn't keep in touch because you told me you hated me after the divorce was finale. I didn't want to intrude in your and your mother's new life. But I did miss you dearly Clare-Bear.

I couldn't believe what I just read. It answered so much and I missed my dad as well, because being here in this hell hole wasn't exactly what I enjoyed. I remember yelling at my dad when my mom told me he cheated and I told him I hated him, but I was only just a teen, I didn't actually mean it.

I guessed I missed my dad more than I realized when I felt a stream of tears came running down my face. I stood up from the computer and grabbed a box of tissues from a drawer.

I wondered how he and that lady turned out. Do they have any kids? Where did they live? Was my dad's company more popular than before? Were they happy?

ClareRockx: I miss you too dad. And I believe you.

Charles_Edwards: You just don't know how happy that makes me sweetie. So, how's your mom? How is everything going in school?

ClareRockx: School is great Dad. I'm still making good grades.

Charles_Edwards: And your mother?

I wondered how I'm going to tell him about her. Or should I just tell him everything is fine. No I shouldn't do that. Maybe I should sugar coat it.

ClareRockx: She's good. Working. You know How it Is.

Charles_Edwards: Is everything ok between you two

ClareRockx: It's ok. Some days are worse than others.

Uh I meant better.

Charles_Edwards: Worse ? What does that mean Clare?

ClareRockx: I Mean it as she's still trying to recover from the divorce dad. That's all.

Charles_Edwards: Are You Sure Clare?

ClareRockx: Yes Dad, I'm Sure. So How Is Janice?

Charles_Edwards: She great. Getting ready to go back to work, you have a little brother Clare.

This is it. I've been waiting for this. I didn't know how to react. A part of me was happy for two reasons. One reason was because I have a baby brother. The second reason because he was a boy and not a girl. I didn't think I want another sister. The other part of me wanted to be mad, but I couldn't find a reason to, which frustrated me.

ClareRockx: That's Great Dad. Congratulations.

Charles_Edwards: Thanks Clare. I Will Love For You To Stop By And Meet Him & Catch Up. Janice and I think it's important for him to know you and Darcy.

How can I possibly say no to that? Of course I want him to know about how great his oldest sister was. I smiled at the thought.

ClareRockx: Of course dad. I will love to.

Charles_Edwards: Really? That's Great Clare-Bear. You can email me or write me a message on this thing for later details.

ClareRockx: Okay Dad. That will work.

*Door Slams*

I listened for how my night will turn out as my dad binged in.

"Clare-Bear I Got Some Exciting News" I heard my mother yell from the bottom of the stairs. "I will you about it once dinner is finish. So Get washed up, We're having guest."

Guest?

"Sure Mom. Do you need help with dinner?" I yelled back happy that tonight sounds like a great night.

"No honey, I'm fine. I just need you to get ready for dinner. Hurry our guest will be here in 45 minutes!"

"Ok Mom"

I looked back at the screen.

Charles_Edwards: Ok Love you Clare; Talk to you later?

ClareRockx: Sure Dad. Mom's home. Got to get ready for dinner. Love you too. Bye.

I shut the computer down and ran to my closet more than excited about the night. I couldn't care less about who is coming. I'm just excited I won't be going to bed in tears.

(Eli POV)

I walked around the in the meadow Julia and I would go when we wanted some quiet alone time. I think Julia only told one other person about this place. So I wasn't really worried if someone will catch me crying here.

It's been almost four weeks since Julia died so why am I still like this. I can eat with her. And sleeping is out of the question. How could I have said those things to her? Right before she died. I can never forgive myself.

I walked over to Morty to get the case of beers I paid this guy to buy for me. Julia and I only did this on occasions and I know she would frown at me drinking while upset but right now I had no other option. I looked at my phone and noticed I had a call from Cece and Bulldog but I didn't care. I threw the phone back into the seat, closed the door and hopped on the hood of Morty.

I was on my last beer and slightly drunk when I heard my name being called from behind me. I knew the voice. It was Susan Thompson, Julia best friend, well her only friend besides me. Julia, Susan, and I have been friends since the 4th grade when I moved here.

"Gah Eli. Everyone has been looking for you. Good thing I came looking for you alone so your spot wouldn't be ruined."

"What it matters?"

"Everyone is scared to let you out their sight Eli. And your doctor wouldn't like you drinking on those pills you know."

"I don't really care."I slurred. Maybe I was dunker than I thought.

"What will Julia think Eli?" I looked at her face trying to focus on her eyes. But she smothered them with eyeliner so I couldn't tell what she was actually saying.

"Whatever Susy."

"Come On get down I'll call Bulldog and Cece to come get you." She said reaching for my hand to pull me down.

"No don't call them." I said trying to get down but fell to the ground.

"You are not fine and you reek." She said scrunching her nose.

"Whatever it's just the beer. Just sit me in the back seat. I just need to sleep this off."

Susan helped me into Morty in the truck so I can lay down and rest. She grabbed my phone and climbed in besides me.

"I'm not leaving you here. I'm just going to text Cece and tell her you're fine." She said texting by then.

I closed my eyes trying to collect myself and my thoughts but everything was cloudy.

"Eli" Susan said. I looked up at her. "we all miss Julia and I know you loved her but this isn't healthy."

"You don't understand."

"Maybe I don't, then again maybe I do. She was my friend too. I knew her longer than you did."

"I was in love with her. She was my girlfriend."

"Eli you're only 15 this isn't the end of the road you know."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Julia is not the only person in the world."

"What are you getting at Susan?"

"She's not the only girl that wanted you Eli."

"Oh really who else wanted the weird Goldsworthy kid?"

"I Did"

If my eyes could pop out of its sockets it would have just then. My mouth dropped. I didn't know what to say. Susan wasn't an ugly girl but I never thought of her that way because she was my friend, Julia's best friend, and she simply wasn't my type.

"Look Susan you are pretty but we will not happen."

"Just think about it." I gave her an incredulous glare.

"Are you serious? Julia JUST died."

"Better now than later right"

"Wrong" I shook my head. The alcohol started to take its effect again. Susan pressed her lips on top if mine. I pushed her back.

"What the Fuck"

"Don't think about it Eli." She said trying to unbutton my jeans. My head got clouded as she started kissing on my spots.

…

I hoped up trying to figure where the hell I am. I looked outside and the sun was just setting. I rubbed my hands against the back of my neck when I realized I didn't have anything on. I looked to the side of me and noticed Susan naked and staring at me.

The last thing I remembered was drinking on the top of Morty. I looked up and back at Susan scared to ask the most obvious question.

"What happened?" She smiled and looked at me.

"We happened" I stared looking for my clothes. What in the hell have I done?

"No No No.."

"No what Eli" Susan sighed and tried to kiss me.

"Move"

"Whats wrong Eli"

"Why Susan? Why did you do this right now?" And happened came rushing back to me with an impeccable force. "Put on your clothes so I can go." I said getting disgusted.

"Eli look let's talk about this"

"I have nothing to say but this" I pointed between me and her "will never happen. EVER." She started forcing her clothes on obviously mad. I made a terrible mistake and I know Julia is in Heaven disgusted with us just as much as I am.

I climb out the back once my shoes were back on and went to the driver side and got in. I started Morty when Susan got out. I was about to drive off when she came to my window that was let down.

"Once you realize that I'm right call me. Until then I will be waiting."

"Don't hold your breath" I said and pulled off.

"I'm Sorry Jules." I said knowing I won't get a response. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 6:30. I sat up thinking what I'm going to do. I thought of Clare but this was around the time her mom was home so I would wait until later to see how things went with her dad.

*Knock*

"it's open" I said standing up to talk to whoever it was . It was Cece.

"Hey Honey." She said and I sat back down on my bed.

"Hey Cece."

"I wanted you to come with me to one of my new client's house for dinner."

"Uh Cece"

"Come on Eli. She has a daughter around your age. We're just going to go over hair stuff afterwards. It was nice of her to invite us." I thought about it for a moment. I didn't want Cece to go to some stranger's house alone.

"Sure let me grab my coat."

"Thanks baby. I'm driving. Let's give Morty a break." She said as she walked away. I agree that Morty needs rest, but I think she didn't want to pull up to strangers house in a hearse.

(Clare POV)

I ran down stairs to help my mom to prepare for dinner.

"Do you need any help?" I said once I got to the kitchen and see my mom is dressed casually with her hair looking she got something done to it. "Your hair looks great mom" She smiled at me.

"Thank you baby" She said shaking her hair so her new curls can bounce. "And if you set the table that will help a lot."

"Sure mom" I smiled and went to put plates and silverware on the table. My mom came in with one hand behind her back and handed me some new champagne for her and the guest.

"Our guest has a son a little older than you so you two will be drinking soda. I brought your favorite… Dr. Pepper." She pulled the Dr. Pepper from behind her back. It was my favorite and she knew it. It was nothing to get excited about if you are on the outside looking in; but it meant a lot to me.

I heard a car pulling into our drive way. It was dark so I didn't try to look outside. My mom ran back into the kitchen to check on the food.

The doorbell rung and I straightened out my shirt and jeans. So I will look presentable.

(Eli POV)

Cece turned onto a familiar road. "What's this client's name?" Cece looked at me and smiled.

"Nervous?"

"No, Curious"

"Her name is Diane, Eli" She said as she slowed and turned into the driveway of a house I knew too well. With my luck I should've guess it was Clare's house. Then something hit me. How can I look at her mother knowing I know what she does to Clare? This should be interesting.

We got out of the car. Once we made it to the door I noticed I looked down at my clothes I wore to school and wished I changed.

Cece rung the doorbell and thirty seconds later a pair of beautiful blue eye landed on mine.

-Author's Note-

i Hope You all Liked It. I Have To Get Back Use To Writing Again.

Please Review && Thanks ! :)