It seems like my eyes have only closed for a minute, but I'm suddenly jerked awake by Jake's movement as he wriggles upright in the confined tent.
He looks down at my sleepy form with a smile. His expression is wistful, almost nostalgic. I feel like he's trying to work out how to say goodbye, and it makes me unaccountably sad. I abruptly realize that this could be the last time I see him. He is going back to Sam and the pack, back to fight a horde of bloodthirsty newborn vampires.
"Jake, wait..." I reach for him, my hand sliding down his arm.
"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine." He forces a small laugh. "Besides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place? Have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right." He snorts.
He unzips the tent, letting the frigid air and bright moonlight bounce in off the snow. I climb out after him. The night still has a bite to it, but the air around us is now calm after the storm. Seth Clearwater is curled up on a patch of pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. His breath curls in little bouts of steam from his nostrils.
"Is it the others? In the clearing?"
Jake nods. "It's time. Your fortune-teller sees the newborns have the trail." Seth whines softly, and gets to his feet, pacing back and forth. I know how disappointed he is to be stuck here looking after me.
Jake takes my hands. I hate this so much. I can feel tears start to well up again. There are so many things I want to tell him. I want to beg him to stay here with me. I want him to take me far away from all of this.
"Bella, you said last night that you were sorry you'd hurt me. I just want to say that I've behaved pretty badly myself. I've made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the beginning, but I didn't know how. I know, at times, that hurt you, too."
I shake my head quickly, about to protest, but he shushes me. His warm hands run up and down my arms, rustling the bright fabric of Alice's snow jacket.
"I wanted things to be different between us, but I was fighting nature and fate. If the legends are true, one day I'm going to meet my imprint, Bella. And then what? What of the life I'd made with you? It would be so unfair to tie you to me, knowing that I could wind up breaking your heart. Just like Sam broke Leah's."
He tucks my hair back where it has escaped from under my knitted woolen hat, pressing his palm against my cheek. "I love you, Bella," he murmurs.
"I love you, Jacob," I whisper brokenly. Seth whines quietly behind me.
"I have to leave," he whispers.
"No."
He smiles. "I won't be long," he promises. He bends to kiss me. His hands are soft on my face and his warm lips gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It is brief, and very, very sweet. His arms curl around me, and he hugs me securely. Against his chest, where he can't see, the tears well up and spill over.
He releases me gently, and with one last look, he turns and runs full tilt for the clearing, already shimmering as he prepares to shift to his other self.
In his absence the cold night air starts to seep into my bones. I shuffle back to the tent and snuggle back into the sleeping bag. I leave the door to the tent open so that I can see Seth, who paces back and forth outside. Listening to his brothers; aching to be there alongside them. The silence is oppressive. I hate not knowing what's going on.
It seems to be taking an eternity. I am on the verge of asking Seth to phase back so that he can tell me what is happening when he suddenly howls outside the tent.
My body stiffens at the sound. I think of my family. Alice is so small. And Esme...God, if anything happens to them, I will be unable to go on.
Seth starts to whimper. I can hear his heavy panting just outside the tent wall, and I try to keep my breathing on the same even pace, so that I won't hyperventilate. In, out. In, out.
The sudden absence of sound is the only warning. The deep rush of Seth's breathing cut off in surprise. Oh, no. No. No. "Who has been hurt? Theirs or ours? Seth!" I shout helplessly, scrambling to get out of the sleeping bag; to get outside. So quickly that I'm not exactly sure how it happens, but I'm on my feet and the tent is collapsing in ragged shreds around me.
I blink, shocked. Seth is right beside me, his face only inches from mine. Then the huge wolf wheels to face the rocky track that we climbed to get here only hours ago.
Seconds pass. It feels like days. My blood thunders in my veins. I am terrified to the point of nausea by the knowledge that something horrible has gone awry in the clearing. I open my mouth to demand that Seth phases straight away to tell me what has happened. That he takes me there, now. But before I can get the first syllable out, Seth launches through the air.
I skitter backwards, and find myself with my back pressed against the sheer cliff face. Relief washes over me at the same time that my stomach drops. I misunderstood. Nothing has gone wrong in the clearing. The crisis is here.
Seth crouches in a defensive posture, growling and snapping at the as-yet unseen enemy approaching. I try to convince myself that we're going to be okay. Seth is a good fighter; I've seen him in training. He's young, and strong, and fast. He's eager. He listened to every word Jasper and Peter had to say. Seth's body shifts a fraction. I stare at the black shadows of the forest.
A lone vampire edges out into the small opening of our camp, scarlet eyes intent, missing nothing. He seems to be only a boy, though he's muscular and tall; maybe my age when he was changed. His gaze is hesitant, flicking between Seth and me. Trying to gauge the threat that the huge wolf poses. I press further back against the cliff for balance, feeling the cold, rough granite through my gloves.
My heart beats furiously, loudly. The camp is quiet; the only sound my ragged breathing and Seth's low, warning growls. None of us moves.
An immense distance away, from far across the forest, wolves' howls echo in the still air. Are they fighting? Are they hurt?Or are they seeing through Seth's eyes? Are they on their way?
The blond boy stares at me, ignoring Seth altogether.
"You don't seem like much," he says, finally. His voice has that same musical quality of all the vampires I've met. But he seems resentful. Angry and hurt at the same time. "I'm not sure why your friends were willing to lay down their lives for you; dying now there in the forest."
I bite hard at my lip. He's lying. He must be lying.
He takes another step toward me. His eyes are so red. Brighter than any I've seen. He must be so young, and yet he's restraining himself. Not like the slathering blood-crazed newborns that Jasper described. Seth crouches, ready to spring.
"My beloved, she waits for me. She knows your secrets. And she wants you dead." The vampire's voice is trance-like, as if he's on autopilot. "She's waiting for me, in our house. In our house in the woods. She wants you dead. She's waiting for me, and when I come back and tell her I've succeeded, she'll love me even more."
"Victoria?" I sputter, in horrified recognition. Is he telling the truth? Is it possible that she didn't even accompany her army into battle? The boy's face softens at the mention of her name.
"She doesn't love you," I insist, disgusted. "She loved a man named James. She's after nothing but revenge and you're no more than a pawn to her." The words fly from my lips with a confidence I do not feel. They strike the boy like glancing blows. He hisses at me, and Seth snarls in response. I realize that Seth is inching sideways, trying to take advantage of the boy's distraction to put himself in the perfect position to strike.
"You don't have to die," I promise, abruptly changing tack and trying to hold the boy's attention for longer. Trying to give Seth some kind of chance. "There are other ways to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all betrayal and blood. You can walk away right now. You don't have to die for her lies."
His face clouds for a second. Not long enough. His jaw tightens, and he squares his shoulders. He tenses himself to attack. Before he can move, a mammoth sandy shape flies through the center of the opening, throwing the vampire bodily to the ground. The vampire snaps and screams, pummeling at Seth. He flings a vicious kick into Seth's shoulder. I wince as I hear the bone crunch.
Seth backs off and starts to circle, limping. A guttural cry rings out, and I realize that it's me. I'm screaming myself hoarse, unable to move - petrified with fear. The vampire is back on his feet, arms out and ready, crouching low to come at Seth again. His fist catches Seth's flank, and a low yelp coughs out of Seth's throat. His shoulders twitch, trying to shake off the pain.
"Please," I plead uselessly. "He's just a child!" But we are all just children: Seth, and me, and this hopeless young vampire who is determined to kill us.
The boy closes the distance between them in a flash, wrapping his arms around Seth's enormous, furry form and squeezing. I hear terrible noises; a howl of unimaginable pain. And suddenly Seth is flying across the snow, hitting the cliff face beside me with a sickening thud and collapsing to the ground. He doesn't move or make a sound.
The vampire is missing part of one hand, and his shoulder is at an odd angle. He looks like a creature from a horror movie, pacing towards me like something out of a nightmare.
"She loves me," he murmurs, voice soft as he moves another inch closer. His eyes are brilliant red, crazed with devotion for Victoria and single-minded in purpose. "She loves me, and she wants you dead."
Adrenaline jolts through my veins. I push off the granite and try to run, thinking desperately that if I can slip past him in his weakened state, maybe I can make it to the cliff track. My boot slides on the icy rock and I feel myself falling.
I never hit the ground.
The vampire's hands around my upper arms are like vises, snatching me out of the air. I expect pain, but as his teeth break the skin of my neck I hear it more than feel it. A wet, tearing sound. My nostrils fill with the sickly, metallic smell of blood. I close my eyes.
Charlie has his feet up in the recliner and I can smell gun-oil on his hands as he snaps open a can of beer.
My pulse thunders in my ears. Throbs; fast at first but starting to slow.
Renee is arranging flowers in a vase beside my hospital bed in Phoenix, murmuring nonsense about soap operas. Jacob is trying not to laugh as he extends a hand to me to haul me out of the mud, where I've slid off my motorcycle again.
The black behind my eyelids softens to red. It's hard to take in a breath.
Alice is curling a ringlet of my hair, smiling at my scowl in the mirror. Edward is pushing open the door of the cafeteria...
Edward is smiling shyly at me over a microscope...Edward is buckling the side of Tyler's van...
My lungs feel empty. My chest aches.
Edward is shining in a meadow...is hurtling up a tree...is opening the car door for me...
He's lifting me onto his feet in a gazebo...
...his lips are pressing to mine...
Edward is catching a baseball...
...is tucking my quilt around me...
...is reading to me...
...playing my lullaby...
…is...
…
Thanks to xtothey for the lovely campfire over at ADF. A writer is only ever as good as the person who pimps her to her friends. xxx