The wolves' howls split the night air. Their thoughts are chaotic, talking to one another in a single pack voice. It's hard for me to follow; difficult to unravel. Mental pictures of the forest and the fight. Hopelessly disjointed.
Caius is bereft; slumped in the dirty snow beside Marcus, his mind unable to grasp what has happened and why his brother has not survived his wounds.
"He didn't feed..." I venture quietly, unwilling to intrude on his grief, and increasingly distracted by the wolves, who have started to pace and circle and whine at each other, clearly agitated about something.
Caius looks up at me, anguish writ large across his features, searching for answers.
I think carefully about what to reveal. "For the longest time. He was starving himself. I think...I don't know." It seems inappropriate to guess or assume. "His thoughts...he seemed to feel he had nothing left to live for." All I can think about is my own state of mind as I approached Volterra. Overwhelmed by Bella's loss; not wanting to go on. "I think he wanted to be free."
The wolves' thoughts are intruding on my own, building in volume in my mind. Scattered, disagreeing. They are arguing with one another. One of them wants to phase in order to speak to us.
"I can hear you as you are," I snap, finally, turning from Caius to face them. "What is it?"
The Jacob-wolf steps forward. Seth is guarding Bella. He thinks another vampire approaches. He thinks we missed one.
Panic seizes me. Why is no one moving? Why is everyone just standing here? It takes me a beat too long to realize I am the only vampire who hears him.
He's young and inexperienced, Edward. We can't be sure. And if we leave, your family is outnumbered. We don't know the nature of this threat.
I curse under my breath. Behind me, Caius gets slowly to his feet. "Edward, what is happening?"
This is it: now or never. I can turn and run with the wolves at my back, or I can hope he understands or forgives.
"There is a young wolf nearby, guarding Bella. He believes another vampire is out there. That one escaped the fight."
Caius looks curiously at the animals in front of us, marveling at their ability to communicate. Then he turns abruptly to Demetri. "Go. Find the newborn and finish this. Bring the human girl to me."
My heart sinks. "Caius, I …"
"GO," he flicks a hand at me, impatient. Signaling that he neither cares whether I stay or follow. "But the girl is brought back here, Edward. You know better than to cross me this day."
I'm running before he can finish the thought, following Demetri out of the clearing in a flash. The wolves bound after us, breaking off in a different direction. They know where Seth and Bella are, and I'm torn. Follow the newborn's trail. Jacob insists. Seth might be wrong.
I realize I don't care if Seth's wrong, and I certainly don't care about killing Riley. I need to get to Bella. I abandon Demetri and take off after the wolves. They're fast. Not quite at my speed, but impressive. We follow the mountain trail easily, and when I can see in their minds where we are headed, I overtake them sprinting as fast as I can. The dawn light is starting to break over the horizon, leaking between the trees and illuminating silhouettes and shadows.
I strain to hear: sounds, thoughts; I don't care which. I take great lungfuls of air as I run, hoping for her scent on the wind.
It happens all at once.
I see what Seth's experiencing through the minds of the wolves. Riley: blood-red eyes; talking; advancing. I run faster. Suddenly, like changing a channel, it's not secondhand anymore. I can hear Seth's thoughts directly as he launches at the vampire with all his might. I can feel his pain and his adrenaline. I run faster. And then I can hear her. Screaming. Screaming her lungs out the way she was the last time I was near her. Screaming with all she has left. I run faster.
Seth's mind goes black.
Bella's scream cuts off abruptly.
I burst from the tree line.
Too late.
I'm too late.
She hangs like a rag doll from his arms, her blood spilling from his mouth, vibrant and unnatural against the snow. The scent of it floods every one of my senses, ignites every nerve-ending, has me flying through the air and ripping his arms clean off his body so that has no choice but to let her go. Let her go! She slumps to the ground, the blood around her like a halo, her skin unspeakably pale, and her lips mauve. Her eyes are closed, and I listen for her heartbeat, for my hope. Riley's coming at me, bewildered and enraged, and I'm still clutching his useless, evil limbs, and so I hurl them at him, lunging straight after. Tearing and biting and ripping. The rage flooding out of me so strong, like a tidal wave, borne of such hatred that the word vengeance no longer even applies. I can't hear her. I can't hear her. And his useless mind is full of thoughts of Victoria, and I need it to stop, I need him to stop, and with a metallic screech I wrench his head from his shoulders and throw it out of the clearing, just as the wolves come bounding up the trail.
The forest is still.
Two of them drag Riley's torso away from me, and I crouch at Bella's side, breathing heavily, pulling her into my lap and cradling her bloodied head. Whispering her name; pressing my fingers uselessly against her wounds.
In an instant, Jacob is across from me, phased back to human and kneeling in the snow. Tears course down his face, as he stares at Bella's broken form in horror.
Do something! His thoughts scream at me, his throat too choked to speak. SAVE HER!
I'm tearing at her snow jacket, slicing through the layers of down and pressing my hand against her chest. It's there: so faint, so very weak. But it's there, thudding gently, too quietly, too slowly against my palm.
"There's no saving her now," I whisper, my voice sounding hoarse and defeated. A wolf behind me lets out an ear-splitting howl. Jacob blinks through his tears. I take one of his hands and place it on Bella's chest, above her fading heart. "She's dying Jacob, either way. So you have to tell me what to do."
His dark eyes are staring at me, his face agonized. "No. NO! You did this once before. You saved her. In Phoenix. Do it again. Do it again!"
I need him to understand.
"She's lost too much blood, Jacob, and we're too far from help. She's full of venom. Tell me what … what she would want, and I'll do it. I'll stop her heart before it happens, if you tell me to. It will kill me to do it. I will beg you to end my life when this is over. But I will not let this happen unless she wants it."
He's shaking his head rapidly. No. No. This can't be the answer. She can't become one of you. I need more time. There should be more time. A keening sound comes from deep within his chest, echoed by the whimpers of the animals circling us.
In my arms, Bella suddenly arches, her muscles tensing. Jacob gasps, his mind filled with hope. She's okay. Look! She's moving! She's okay.
"She's not okay, Jacob," I yell at him, full of agony and frustration. "It's starting! She's about to be in the worst pain of her existence, and then her heart will stop beating, and her eyes will open and it will be forever. She will be one of us forever. Tell me what to do!"
Bella cries out, her eyes still closed, mindless, writhing. I clutch her to me, wishing my cold skin could provide her even an ounce of relief.
He's staring at me, and his eyes are pleading, begging me for another answer. Any other answer. And then he looks down again at Bella. In his mind's eye, she's not lying here pale and brutalized in the snow. In his mind's eye her face is flush with color and her eyes are dancing and she's happy. She's so happy. She's sitting on a tractor tire, doing her homework, and she's laughing. She's pulling a face at him over a burger. She's leaning in to him watching a movie. He is cataloging a thousand quiet expressions, a hundred chaste touches. She's wearing the jacket I've just torn from her body, lying against him in a tent. This isn't about Edward anymore, she's saying. You're right, he broke my heart.
The pain at her words tears right through to my very soul.
"Very well," I manage, finally, no louder than a whisper.
Bella's whimpers increase in volume, and she's tossing and turning in distress. I press a kiss to her fevered forehead, and I place my hands around her delicate neck. I can feel the flutter of her pulse under her too-thin skin. The tiny, fragile bones of her neck. My hands start to tense.
Jacob knocks them away in fury, grabbing both my shoulders and spinning me to look at him. "SEE THE REST!"
I'm shaking my head, unwilling to let her bear a moment's further torture. Unwilling to bear even a moment more of my own. But his thoughts are aimed right at me, impossible to ignore. Bella's in the tent, her woolen hat pulled low over her ears, and her eyes bright with emotion.
Being with the Cullens, she's saying, I've never felt stronger, more real, more...myself. I hear her voice, through his ears. I feel the love, emanating from every word. I want a future with them. I want an eternity.
It's enough. God, it's more than enough. It's more than I could ever have hoped for.
Jacob shoves me back a little, and I relinquish, letting her go, letting him lean in to press his own kiss of farewell to Bella's cheek. His tears fall freely, his heart aching. I reach for his hand, taking it in my own. I want to thank him, but it seems wholly inadequate. He looks up at me, taking in a shuddering breath. "This is what she wanted," he manages, finally. "Don't ever let her regret it."
He pushes up from the ground in a rush, and he stalks away to rejoin the pack.
I fold Bella back into my arms, and she bucks and cries as the burn of the transformation courses through her body. I want more than anything to take her miles away from here. To tuck her between cool sheets in a bed in one of our cabins. To press damp towels to her brow.
Sam and Jacob and Paul lift the heavy, wounded body of Seth into the air, and proceed to carry him down the track ahead of me. The wolves circle and follow.
I'm alone in the clearing with Bella and her torment. She struggles in yet another paroxysm of pain that I can do nothing to relieve. I have so few options right now: carrying her, running. I search desperately for a way to make this work, and every time I come back to one answer. One reason that makes it all completely futile.
A reason that steps from the trees in front of me.
Demetri.
"Come, Edward. Now we take the girl to Caius."