This is it, dear readers. Last chapter, with a short epilogue to immediately follow.
Instantly, the scent hits me. Something tangy, and irresistible. Delicious. Something I need to have. But it's buried in an animal smell so foul, so unappealing, that it wrinkles my nose.
Jake steps through the door. His jaw is clenched and his arms folded. I hear the soft pad of paws outside and realize the other heartbeats I hear are wolves.
"Carefully, Jacob," Edward says. A snarl from the driveway echoes the concern in his voice. "Maybe this isn't the best way..."
Before he can finish the thought I'm pushing up off the bed and sweeping towards Jacob, pulling easily from Edward's futile grasp. Jasper crouches in front of Jake defensively, ready to spring, but I wave him away. "It's okay. I'm okay," I give Jake a small smile. "They're right, you know. You really do smell terrible."
A relieved laugh escapes his throat, and he takes two steps toward me, scooping me up in a hug. I try to reciprocate as little as possible, terrified of hurting him. "And with those eyes, you look like a freak show, Bells," he whispers against my hair. "But still so beautiful."
He releases me and steps back to look me over again, letting out a low whistle. "You still look like you, sort of. Maybe it's not the look so much as... you are Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He smiles at me again without a trace of bitterness or resentment anywhere in his face.
Comfortable, eventually, that I am not going to start snacking on my friend, the others go back to preparing for our departure. It's strange to be able to hear the strands of conversation taking place all over the house at once. A low hum that I need to learn to tune out. Jacob and I take a seat together on the sofa.
He's agitated, fidgety. I can't tell if it's being in the house on his own with all these vampires, or just my new alien appearance. The wet thump of his heartbeat is distracting, making my throat feel thick and dry despite the awful odor.
"Everyone is really okay?"
He nods. "Seth's doing better every day. The rest of us got off lightly, considering. And the pack is even bigger than before!"
I realize what he means. All these vampires. It was always a risk that more of the young Quileute would find themselves responding to the ancient threat in the way of their tribe.
"Who is it this time?" I ask, trying and failing to remember the boys of the Reservation.
"Leah. She phased for the first time the night of the fight."
"Leah's a wolf!" I gasp. My memories of her are murky and unclear. I am discovering that thinking about my human life is tricky. Things I should know seem to be just out of reach. A fleeting image surfaces of Jake in the tent with me, talking about Sam breaking Leah's heart.
"Yeah. It shocked everyone," Jake chuckles. His leg bounces up and down anxiously, and he twists his hands in his lap.
"What is it?" I ask, placing a hand on his knee to still it. "Am I making you nervous?"
He shakes his head, looking up at me. His dark eyes blaze. He takes a deep, steadying breath.
"It happened, Bella," he says, all in a rush. "As soon as I saw her. It's like, once she phased all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. I got back to the Rez that day, and as soon as I got out of the truck and saw her...that was it." He pauses. I'm not sure what he means.
"I imprinted on Leah."
I stop breathing. Jake frowns; trying to gauge my reaction before pressing on, his words a nervous jumble. "I guess...well, I guess we imprinted on each other actually. The elders don't know what to make of it. And Bella, it was every bit as they described it. I was crazy to think I could have defied it. She's...she's everything."
All the emotional language I have to describe my feelings no longer applies. My heart no longer 'swells' or 'breaks' or 'aches', lying stone-cold in my chest. But seeing the depth of emotion Jacob places on just that one word: everything.I realize I need a new vocabulary.
I pull him to me, as gently as I can. "I am so happy for you," I swear against his neck, reveling in the heat of him against my skin. I have never meant anything more sincerely.
His grin breaks wide across his face as he pulls back. "Thank you, Bella."
Jacob. My Jacob. Who picked me up, and put me back together, and loved me, and taught me that I was worth loving. Who made me think about my choices, who made me want to make my own choices. Seeing him this happy is the best gift I could receive.
"You're leaving?" he asks, finally.
"Yes. I need to..." I can't bring myself to say it to him. The ravenous bloodthirst feels like a terrible secret; something that will disgust him. "We need to leave. Jake, you have to promise me that you'll take care of Charlie."
His expression turns to sadness. "Are you sure this is the best way?"
I nod firmly. "I'm sure. Alice thinks it's going to turn out okay. I just need to know that you'll look out for him in the meantime."
"Like my own flesh and blood, Bella."
Jasper comes back into the room. "I'm sorry, Bella, but we really need to get going. I can only dampen your thirst for so long, and Alice thinks Charlie will be coming soon."
We get to our feet, and Jake hugs me again, tucking my hair behind my ear as he steps back.
"I love you, Bella. That hasn't changed."
I kiss him on the cheek, managing only a choked and emotional, "Ditto."
He closes the front door behind him, and I hear the sound of human footsteps switching abruptly to paws as he runs for the trees.
Edward comes up behind me. "Are you okay?"
I turn to face him, pressing both of my palms flat against his chest. He rubs his hands up and down my upper arms, but doesn't draw me to him. Still so hesitant.
"I'm fine," I assure him. "Thirsty. I guess it's time to do something about that."
"Give me a moment?"
When I nod, he walks across the room to speak with another blond vampire who has just come down the stairs. She is thin, but athletic looking. Her features are striking and her eyes a dull scarlet. They use a hushed tone, but I realize it's meaningless to my new senses, every word is crystal clear. Privacy, it seems, is now just a convention.
"You're sure?" Edward asks, placing a protective hand on her shoulder. An irrational pulse of jealousy surges through me. I have no idea how they know each other or what they have been through together, but it is clear that Edward cares for her a great deal.
The woman nods. "You know I'd never cope with your diet," she teases with a smirk. "Garrett lives much the way that I'm used to." They fall silent for a time, but Edward's chin drops to his chest with a shy smile that suggests she is still talking to him. He looks up again with a questioning expression and calls Jasper over to join them.
"Sarah and Garrett are offering to take Bree," Edward explains.
"It seems safest," Sarah says. "I can convince her to behave while we take the time to teach her. "
Jasper seems torn. I think all of the Cullens would prefer to see one less carnivore in the world, but they already have one newborn to contend with in me.
Bree tugs at Jasper's sleeve. "I'd like to go with them," she says in a small voice. "It will be hard for me to change, and I'd like Sarah's help." Jasper acquiesces, squeezing her shoulders comfortingly.
Garrett comes down the stairs shouldering a small pack and tying back his hair with a leather thong. "We'll look forward to seeing you again in the future, Bella. Hopefully under brighter circumstances." And in an instant, the three of them are gone.
Carmen, Eleazar and Irina quickly follow. No good-byes. Just swift acknowledgements that we will all soon be reunited.
Farewelling the family is harder. "It's going to be no time at all," Alice promises, clutching at me fiercely. "We'll be there so soon."
Esme smoothes my hair and tugs at my sweater. "Look after him for me," she murmurs. And it seems a crazy thing to say when I will be so utterly dependent on him, but one look at his anxious expression and I know exactly what her mothers' heart is trying to convey.
Emmett and Rose pull up just as we step outside. I find myself apologizing to them repeatedly. "I'm sorry you have to go to all this trouble. That you have to be uprooted all over again."
Emmett chuckles. "I love polar bears. Denali's no hardship."
Rose smacks him lightly on the arm in feigned irritation. "Besides, Bella," she says, winking at me. "Forks High really wasn't my scene."
"Now," Alice says, a stern note of caution creeping into her voice. "It's time."
"This way," Edward says quietly, taking my hand. "Let's run."
We head around the house and through the backyard to the edge of the river. Edward lets go of me and takes an effortless jump to the other side. As he waits for me to join him, I start to comprehend the raw power in my muscles. This new body of mine feels capable of anything. Almost before I form the thought, I am hurtling through the air and landing lightly at Edward's side. His smile is blinding. And then he disappears through the trees
Running with Edward is unlike anything I've experienced. My limbs do not tire, my balance is flawless, no risk of stumbling or hitting a tree. Just the crisp mountain air on my face and the scent of the forest, rich and damp and lush and green. The myriad sounds around me: wind dancing through the trees; a mountain stream bubbling over rocks.
And suddenlythat same wet, thumping sound.
My throat flares. I'm moving before I am even aware of it, downing an elk that has stopped to drink from the brook. Snatching it from the ground before it can finish swallowing. The taste of it feels off somehow, but the blood is warm and wet and soothing, spreading like a glow throughout my entire body. All too soon, the carcass is dry.
I drop it in disappointment, kicking it away from me. I look up to find Edward is sitting on a rocky outcrop nearby, watching me with a smile.
"I probably could have done that better," I confess with embarrassment, looking at the blood smeared on my hands and jeans.
He chuckles. "You did fine. How do you feel now?"
"Still thirsty. How is that possible?"
"You're a newborn, Bella. Your thirst is going to take a long time to manage. That's why we're leaving."
I begin to grasp the enormity of that thought. The elk was dead before I'd even realized it was nearby. If that had been a hunter, or God forbid, Charlie. There would have been no way to stop.
I wash my hands and face in the stream, leaping out effortlessly and sitting down next to Edward. The scent of him is so comforting I want to bury myself in his arms and never leave.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," he says quietly, his voice ragged, like broken glass. "I should never have left you here. I thought if we disappeared from your life that you'd be safe. Instead, I put you in even greater peril."
He left me for all the wrong reasons, that much is true. But I'm not the Bella he abandoned on the forest floor. Not even close. Everything I've been through has shaped me in ways it will take him a while to understand.
"I thought I could protect you by staying in Italy." His voice carries such pain. "I have never been more wrong."
"Don't," I whisper, taking his face in my hands. Marveling at the silk of his skin under my fingertips. The depth of his gaze. I am trying to think of some way to convey my meaning to him. Right now, in this moment, with the sound of the forest stretching out around us, maple leaves scraping together, the smell of earth and rot and moss, I feel no sense of urgency. He and I have all the time there is left to talk, and forgive, and teach, and explain. None of it is necessary right now.
"Edward, your whole life you have always known what the person in front of you is thinking. How they feel; how their experiences are shaping their decisions. That means you've always been able to act accordingly. You've always had all the information you need." I am unable to resist touching the soft, copper hair at his temples. It's so hard to believe that after everything we've been through, we have finally made it to this point.
"When you left here...and when you stayed in Volterra...you thought you were doing what was best for me. You guessed and you made assumptions." His golden eyes drift close in a slow blink of acknowledgement. He looks saddened by my conclusion, but he doesn't disagree.
"But, Edward, I was just as bad. I was so...dazzled...by you that I never told you what I wanted or needed. I couldn't believe that someone like you would ever want to be with someone like me. So I always assumed the worst."
He looks for a second like he might be about to protest, but he holds his tongue.
"I don't know what happened to you when you left Forks, or what you've been through in Italy with those monsters. But I know that while you were gone I grew and I changed and I loved and I lost. I'm not the person you left behind, Edward. Just as you're not the same person who left. And now? Today? None of that even matters.
"This is my first day, Edward. There have been no days before this one."
I close what is left of the distance between us. The kiss is chaste, his lips impossibly soft against mine, my fingers in his hair. The world folds in on itself. There is nothing but him and I, this moment, this touch. When I draw back, I realize neither of us is breathing. Edward is staring at me with such love and such wonder that I don't feel like I can move. I don't ever want to move.
"Then, Bella Swan," he murmurs softly, pulling me closer still, his arms impossibly warm and strong around me. "I would like to spend your first day, and your second, and every one after that, getting to know you. I plan on falling in love with you all over again."