So I am going to finish up this story today March 13, 2009 through March 14, 2009 oif I have to. Whether it kills me or not (probably not)

So if anyone reads this enjoy while I write and listen to Panic at the Disco (am I the only one who misses the ! ?)

Every time I woke up it was harder to breath, harder to open my eyes. Sometimes I didn't even know if I was sleeping and dreaming or just awake. I do not know how many days it has passed but I know it is days. My health is diminishing. I cannot help my mother and my mother isn't helping herself. The doctor, Carlisle Cullen I think his name is, even told her to rest. She said something along the lines of "no, my son needs me." She is stubborn. Then again I do not even know if it was a dream or reality.

Somehow the doctor convinced my mother to go to her bed. She was exhausted and her impossible attempt of trying to heal me was not helping her.

Yes I know I am going to die. The doctors said I had the Spanish influenza, but then I also heard my father's voice so I am no exactly sure if they said that or not.

"He is so much worse than his mother. I don't think he has much time left." It was that doctor, the one that never wore a mask. Dr. Cullen. His voice was the most attached with emotion than the other ones. Also his voice was calming. No faults in his voice.

"His mother might not have much time left either. She was not helping herself taking care of Mr. Masen." It had to be a nurse. She was worried but she sounded more worry about herself. "Dr. Cullen you should wear a mask. We wouldn't want the best doctor here getting sick." She was wearing a mask. Obviously worried about her own health.

"Do not worry about me Emily. You should go home for the night. I can handle things here for the time being." I heard her walk away. These were one of the times I was too exhausted to open my eyes.

"Mrs. Masen, you should go back to sleep. Rest would only do you good." He was talking to my mother.

"Please Dr. Cullen, call me Elizabeth. I have told you this before." She sounded like…like she was dying…I want her to live from this. She might though…she is better off than I am.

"Elizabeth," he said. "Please rest. It would help your recovery."

"How is my Edward?" her voice sounded strong there. I could be imagining it. I am dying.

"He is…weak Elizabeth. His body might not be able to fight off the sickness any longer." I knew this. I can feel it while I sleep. My mother must live though. She cannot die.

"Save him." She sounded strong again, yet still hoarse. She sounded strong but the hoarseness is taking away from the strength.

"I'll do everything in my power." He said. It sounded like…he was holding something back. He isn't doing everything in his power. I suppose he decided to let me die quicker. Let him end my suffering.

"You must, you must do everything in your power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward." She must have lost her mind by now. Dr. Cullen is like any doctor. He is no miracle worker. I will die. I have accepted that. Although I wish I can keep my promise.

I'm sorry Mercy. I could not find him. I wish I can make sure you are safe.

I fell back asleep.

I had another dream. I knew I was not dead yet. This dream felt like a dream. I knew I was asleep.

I was at the park with this girl. She was beautiful and lovely. I did not know her, I have never seen her. She was just sitting next to me in the park. She kept looking at me like she loved me. I find it hard to believe. I embraced her and did not let her go. She smelled wonderful. My dream ended there, no words, no name, nothing.

When I awoke again I was almost drowning in my own fluids. I can tell, this would be my last day on this earth.

I wonder what I could have done differently. I do not think I would change things, maybe just listen to my mother more. I do not regret not going to Europe to fight for the Great War. Either I was going to die there or die of this disease. I suppose I always knew in the back of my mind I would have never gone to Europe.

I heard someone cough in the cot next to mine.

It wasn't my mother.

It was a man.

She's dead… I know that…yet I am surprised that I outlived her. I should be dead. When I do die I am going to die alone. At least my mother did not see me die.

I do not know what was happening but it felt that I was flying. The breeze was nice. My fever was burning me, I felt cool. I must have drifted to sleep again after I noticed my mother was dead. I wonder where the breeze is coming from.

A few minutes later the breeze stopped. I wish I could protest. Tell whatever was causing the breeze to bring it back. Although I was now on a comfortable bed, I still wanted that breeze, or the ice that was surrounding me, embracing me. I was comfortable then.

"I'm sorry." That was Dr. Cullen's voice. Why is he apologizing to me? Is it because he couldn't save me? It isn't his fault I am sick and dying. Is he apologizing for not saving my mother? That wasn't his fault either.

Then I felt the pain. The burning pain. It felt as if I was cut by a sword and was injected with fire. I thought I was dying, I thought I was dead for certain.

I must be dead. I must be in Hell. Whatever I must have done in my seventeen years of life has sent me to Hell. I screamed. I need help; I need to escape this fire.

What was going on a few minutes ago? I cannot remember anything. All I remember is this pain. Not my name, my name doesn't even matter right now, not where I am at, not who caused this pain, nothing is important except salvation from this Hell.

I will never see my mother or father again. Surely they have never done anything to deserve Hell. I will never see Clarence Robertson or anyone else.

The pain is increasing. Why? Why is this happening to me?

The screaming isn't helping. Nothing is helping. Moving will not let me get rid of Hell running through my veins.

I want death. I ask for it, I pray for it. This isn't how death is supposed to feel like. Death is supposed to be peaceful. Why do I have to die in flames?

It has been years, centuries, epochs (or at least it felt that way) for the pain to start to leave my fingertips, another century for it to numb itself.

I thought it was over. I thought that I would die right now. I thought that everything was over. I actually thought I was left in ashes. The fire has to have left me in ashes.

Then the worst pain of all came.

The fire moved to my heart. All of it went to my heart. I screamed again. I cannot let this in. The pain is too much. I have to die now.

Kill me

KILL ME!

I woke.

Everything seemed clear, even though it was the dead of night. Nothing was hurting, nothing.

My senses are so much more alert. Part of a blanket slid to the floor. The noise was loud.

I looked around the area. It seemed I was in someone's apartment.

Then I realized that the fire that was in my veins move to my throat.

I was thirsty. The thirstiest I have ever been in my life.

It is like I was in the middle of a desert and I haven't had water for weeks or months.

"Edward…" My name was spoken loudly. I am surprised I even recognize my name, it has been ages since I heard it…

I looked over to where my name was called. I feel danger, I want to run but….I cannot, I can tell if I run he can catch me and kill me.

I honestly do not care at the moment. I need to quench my thirst at this moment.

"Edward…I am Carlisle Cullen, I was your doctor, you had the Spanish Influenza. Do you understand me?" How odd, he looks defensive, like I can somehow injure him.

I am so sorry.

"You said that to me before." I still do not know why he is sorry.

I heard my voice. It sounded different.

It sounded like bells. My voice had no flaws, like Dr. Cullen.

"Yes I was your doctor…you were dying." I wasn't referring to that.

"No….you said you were sorry, why?" Why am I so thirsty? "I'm thirsty."

I…never told you I was sorry…

"Yes I know you are thirsty Edward."

"You just said you were sorry to me." He seemed confused. Damn it! The thirst!

I stood up

"I am thirsty. Why am I so thirsty?" why am I angry at him? It is not his fault.

"Edward, I have to explain to you….what I have done to you. I am incredibly sorry; I did not see an alternative." Now I am confused.

"What?"

"Edward…you are…I have….you are a vampire. Like the ones you have read about, only different. You have to believe this. Again, I am sorry for what I have turned you into." A vampire.

A vampire….

A vampire…

I am not a vampire….

I could explain my thirst.

"How?"

He seems so calm for a newborn

"What is a newborn?" He seemed confused again.

Can you…hear me Edward?

What an odd question. Should my hearing be impaired since I am supposedly a vampire.

"Yes, I can hear you just fine." The view….it is so much prettier. Everything is so vivid….How did I get to the balcony?

"You just…read my mind" I turned to him, incredibly fast.

"Impossible." I stared at him. I never looked at his eyes before….they are gold…next to him was a mirror and my reflection was in it. I was…perfect. Any flaws I had in my face were gone, every flaw was gone.

My eyes are red…

"What…happened to me?"

"You are a vampire Edward."

A vampire….

A vampire…

…Impossible…

The end

No more

It is done… tell me what you think of it

Please?

So i have finished March 14, 2009

while listening to Panic at the Disco (still miss the !)

so yeah...tell me what you think and i might make something new again and...you know...

write again...but...my creative juices are...dry so any ideas you want me to do is fine so...yeah

...im tired

...review