Reluctant Good Byes

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.

Leah sits quietly debating how to go about saying good bye to the wolves and their imprints. Honestly, she doesn't want to say good bye to the imprints because none of them seem to like her in the first place. It's an odd relationship that she has with them if that is even the word to use. Emily seems to tolerate her presence at most times; the two women have long since given up trying to patch together their relationship. No matter how Leah looks at it Emily betrayed her whether by choice or not. As far as Emily is concerned Leah wasn't meant for Sam and yet some how her presence always seems to find a way to get in between her and Sam.

Leah lets out a heavy sigh as she sits up in a tree just on the borders of the La Push territory looking north. The rain is coming down and the sound calms the wolf and also masks any scents around. Leah loves the rain but the wolf loathes it; the rain is calming but mysterious all at the same time. The urge to run away now is so tempting for Leah that over the last couple of weeks since talking to the Elders she's slowly inched closer and closer to the edge of the territory. Leah doesn't trust herself in her wolf form for very long fearing that the spirit will take over and she'll leave without ever saying good bye. The rain slowly begins to let up and she hops down landing gracefully. Everyday seems to get harder and harder to stay put; the woman slowly starting to lose the battle to the beast within.

"Is everything alright?" Leah freezes and bites back a growl. Not only because Jake would frown upon her hostility towards his future father-in-law but also because she doesn't trust herself to not suddenly give into the wolf. "Leah?" Edward calls again cautiously eyeing her.

"I'm fine." Leah lies shifting uncomfortably. The Cullens have remained for another five years since the birth of Renesmee; mainly for Jacob and Charlie's sake. Leah chose to keep her distance because why should she become attached to a coven of vampires? They'd be leaving soon and taking Jacob with them – the thought of her Alpha leaving because of Renesmee still turning her stomach at times.

"Leah," Edward begins but stops and eyes her. Leah looks at him knowing that he's trying to read her mind but without his mood ring of a brother that is a very tough task. Leah's learned to allow her wolf thoughts to push to the forefront. The vampire cannot read the mind of an animal but she doesn't risk it today. "You're leaving? And don't know why? Or even if you'll come back?" Leah snorts as Edward's eyes seem to soften and look almost sad or regretful.

"What's it to ya? It's not as if we're going to miss out on all of our bonding time." Leah says sarcastically turning her back on the vampire but suddenly freezes. "Don't you dare tell him." Leah snarls viciously and the sudden urge to phase, rip, tear and then hightail it outta the states is building.

"He has a right to know. He's not going to like it." Edward answers matter-of-factly dropping into a defensive stance.

"He doesn't have to like it." Leah snarls as the familiar heat runs up and down her spine. She can feel the spirit deep inside of her yelping for joy at the anger, the sudden adrenaline rush. This is her chance to break free of the human bonds that's holding her here in this small town. This is a world where wrong is right, down is up, love is decided by magic, natural enemies make great bedfellows and a lone wolf feels lost without a pack. Leah shakes her head roughly as if trying to shake loose any thoughts of running out of her head. "I've got to go." Leah says quietly. Edward isn't sure whether she's telling him or just speaking out loud to herself. His confusion only grows as Leah suddenly takes off running leaving him behind and confused by her sudden conflicting thoughts.

Leah runs home and sits down at the kitchen table trying to control the twitching within her limbs. Her spirit wants to break free, be free, to leave and do it now. She quietly curses to herself and in her native tongue tells the spirit to calm down – to wait. Quileute seems to work as the twitching stops and Leah feels her body begin to cool down. Leah thinks over the conversation with Edward Cullen knowing that he is right about telling Jacob. As Alpha he has a right to know if his beta is…what? What exactly is she doing? Is she bailing? Leaving the pack? It's this lack of understanding that makes saying 'good bye' so hard. She doesn't know what it is she's going to do.

She wants to say good bye to the guys and their imprints – at least so they know to check up on the Elders more often. However, the guys weren't the kind to let go easily. Over a year ago her great aunt fell ill and she and Sue were heading to Colorado to tend to her for a few days. She had told Jake that she was leaving which was convenient since he was on patrol. He told her to enjoy her trip, hoped that her aunt was better and she had one week to get back. She had laughed at his time requirement but after two weeks when Seth and Embry showed up on her aunt's doorstep out of breath and a fuming Sam and Jacob waiting to hear from her she knew – Jacob Black wasn't playing.

Over time Jacob had started taking his role as Alpha very seriously and Leah, as his Beta, received the most attention. As his Beta she was required to be on when he was off. She did a lot of little things for him simply because it was her job. But over the last year or two with Renesmee getting closer and closer to full maturity he was contacting her less and less. In fact, she'd not seen him in a month; although a seemingly long time it's just a brief period compared to her run in with her own brother, Quil and even Paul. Basically, a prolonged absence or an indefinite absence wasn't going to blow over well the other two members of the Council – no matter how little contact they'd recently had.

She waits for her brother's return after spending God-only-knows how much time over his imprint's house. "Seth, we need to talk." Leah says sitting down at the kitchen table and motioning for him to sit next to her. He frowns deeply unsure of whether he wants to hear the news or is just too tired to be bothered. However, his mother's absence does help keep his frustration in check. "Seth, how would you feel if I went away?" Leah questions and then mentally berates herself for going about it this way. She had gone over this conversation in her head so many times and the moment Seth was in front of her all her plans go flying out the window.

"Like to Aunt Emma's house again?" Seth questions back with a tired look on his face.

"Maybe?" Leah says because honestly she might just wind up there. It's not impossible.

"I dunno." Seth says shrugging his shoulders. "Guess everyone needs a change of space, huh?" Seth says smiling at his sister. "And besides it's not as if you'd go somewhere and then never come back." Seth begins to laugh at his own thought. Ever since their dad died Seth has always known that Leah wanted to get away but that was just really from Sam. After joining Jake's pack the 'running away' talk completely died. She was happy with the smaller pack and the proof was 'in the pudding' as their dad always said. But his laughing stopped when he becomes aware that Leah hasn't joined in his laughter. "Lee," Seth says sternly the weariness quickly vanishing.

"Huh? I'm sorry. I got distracted." Leah says shaking her head and seeming to come back to her thoughts. "Did you say something?" Seth looks at his sister carefully, suspiciously not knowing whether his sister had really just stopped paying attention or if she was just trying to throw him off.

"Are you trying to leave the Rez – for good?" Seth clarifies as his eyes narrow and locks with Leah's.

"No." Leah answers back calmly the eye contact never breaking or her voice wavering. She's answering truthfully or at least as far as she knows. Seth lets out a low deep growl that rumbles from within his chest. He's picking up a bad feeling from this whole situation and he's unsure if it's involving his sister leaving or just the simple weariness in his body. Over the years things have changed and Leah Clearwater being one of them. She was no longer the pack's resident annoying bitch; she had come to mean something more. She was Jake's Beta, sure, but over time the packs' (both) feelings were that she was more important then they'd let on or even admit out loud. Keeping her content was their primary goal but then things would get in the way that would change that objective.

"When was the last time we…we saw each other?" Seth asks suddenly feeling a wave of guilt wash over him. He doesn't remember when was the last time he saw his sister – let alone actually sat down and talked to her. Thinking back on his father's words he knows it's become his job to look out for his mother and sister but Leah has carried most of that burden. He chalked it up because he was much too young for that kind of responsibility and promised to live up to his father's expectations after he was older. He's not.

"Uh…a couple of days ago?" Leah lies with a shrug. Her stomach churns with the sick realization that she's lied to her brother twice now in the last ten minutes. Leah knows that Seth will definitely be the #3 guy to not want her to go. She knows how much she means to him…sometimes, at moments like these when it's just the two of them and no imprint is around. She's not seen him in a month; two weeks on patrol in wolf form, one week prior to her run feeling restless and this last week thinking over what to say to the wolves. She wants to spare his feelings and the others but doesn't want to just up and leave. The wolf inside of her keeps saying, 'damn them. Let's go!' but the human woman knows better.

"Leah," Seth begins but is cut off as she raises a hand to silence him.

"Don't worry about it Seth." Leah says with a small smile. "I'm just thinking I need to get away for a while. Run around in my wolf form for a bit. Find some new scents, sights – change of pace." Leah says opting for the truth or at least the safest truth.

"Seriously?" Seth questions skeptically. He can't help the nervous and sick feeling that there's something lying just under the surface. As if the answer is plainly in front of his face but he's just too…occupied, blind? Too blind to see it. He growls again in frustration because something about this just doesn't sit right. Leah nods her head in agreement. "Will you let us know when you're leaving?"

"Of course!" Leah says smiling happily just glad that this seems to being blowing over well with her brother. "I'd not leave without saying good bye." Seth flinches, unnoticed by his sister, at her choice of words. 'Good bye' holding a sense of finality to them that unsettles the spirit within him. Seth can't really explain it and has long since given up on trying; but there's some significance to Leah's presence within the pack. Initially, he always assumed it was because she was his sister that she was important. However, he was young and brushed it off because he didn't want to be burdened or looked over by her continual presence in the, what should've been an, 'all boys club'. But he feels his ears pounding as he narrows his eyes at Leah trying to make sense of what is going on. Is it anxiety? Why is he suddenly anxious? He doesn't have to see his sister all day, everyday. However, two names stand out in his mind – Jacob Black and Sam Uley. When Leah is involved those two practically sweat anxiety.

"Have you talked to Jake or Sam yet?" Seth watches Leah carefully as she frowns slightly shaking her head. "You will, won't you?" Leah nods her head solemnly. Sure Seth would be a hard sale but he, in the grand scheme of things, was the least complicated of the men in her life. Sam would be easy to convince because she didn't belong to his pack and since Seth was her brother he really had no say – although it never stopped either of them before. However, Jacob Black was without a doubt the hardest one to factor in. With his role of Alpha, his temperament was still a bit touch-and-go. Some days he was carefree, understanding and playful with her while others he was standoffish, disgruntled and distant. Carefree Jake would smile at her and tell her to go but not to stray too far and be back within her allotted time. The true Alpha, Jacob Black, wouldn't even bother listening to her request and tell her to keep her ass at home where she belonged and not to bother him with stupid ideas of 'getting away'. It was Alpha Jacob that practically tore her a new one when she didn't return home after her week's time. He was so angry, frustrated and worked up that he had snatched her roughly by the wrist and slammed her back into a tree. Leah had learned what it was like to fear Jacob Black because his eyes were so dark, primal and vicious that it sent a shiver down her spine.

Sam tried to intervene but one cold hard look from Jacob Black sent him whimpering back a few feet away. Jacob Black became Leah's constant companion for three whole months afterwards. His explanation for this behavior was that he 'couldn't trust her'. Those words hurt her more then she'd ever want to admit but she refused to be hurt and instead got angry. It wasn't her fault that her aunt wasn't healing at the rate that didn't meet her Almighty Alpha's satisfaction. She was doing a good deed by helping out her aunt and it wasn't her fault that he couldn't find Quil to run patrol so that his precious demon spawn could sleep well at night. Her attack on Renesmee only incensed Jacob Black encouraging the fight to not only intensify but to prolong. Per him, she was the one that lied to him. That if she needed more time then she should've called and informed him; because if something had happened then he'd be short his Beta. That her absence had nothing to do with watching over Nessie but rather it was her shirking on her responsibilities. The two continued fighting and arguing with a fervor that had not been seen between them in years – it in fact frightened the other wolves. Jacob refused to leave Leah no matter how much she bitched and snapped, literally, at him.

Eventually the two calmed down and carefree Jake was back with a warm apology. He was only worried about Leah and didn't like her being gone from home where he couldn't check up on her easily. He never meant to harm her and asked that next time if she was going to be gone longer than expected to just call and let him know. After they had calmed down it was agreed that Leah would call with any updates and he'd try to listen more. After that things between them were better as Jake hung around the Rez more still checking up on Leah and even running patrol with her. But that was months ago and at this point Jake's visits to the Rez were sporadic at best. He had recently suddenly become so engrossed with Renesmee that it seemed as if whatever or however the imprint pull worked had finally grounded the great and rebellious Jacob Black.

Sucking it up Leah begins her gradual good byes; or rather just informing all the wolves that she'll be leaving soon. Leah receives similar questions and reactions to the news as Seth involving a mixture of anger, confusion and frustration. Leah finds herself confused on why when she mentions going away for a while that all the guys suddenly insist on spending time with her – as if 'hanging out' will some how quell her desire to travel north. But she agrees to each of their requests never believing that any of them will come through with their promises. She knows that they'll forget the moment she's out of their sight. Sam seems to be the only one to write it down up on a dry erase board in the kitchen as his reminder. Leah teases him for this asking him how absentminded does he have to be to not remember to hang out with his wife's cousin? Sam watches with a silent frown as Leah erases the board and walks out telling him to just find her and they'll do something like he promised. As she leaves Sam looks at the board and is tempted to rewrite the note but stops himself remembering Leah's words. He laughs to himself because he, of all people, knows that he'll never forget about Leah Clearwater – and still he does.

Leah finally heads out to the Cullens saving the worst for last. She's taken the last month and a half to say her good byes and get her things in order. At Billy's suggestion she'll also talk to Carlisle; it seems he has money already set aside for the wolves and their families as thanks for protecting Renesmee. Leah knows that she can actually be open and honest with Carlisle about her plans – doctor/patient confidentiality and all that jazz. She feels lucky when she arrives and learns that Jake is out hunting with Renesmee. Carlisle and Esme greets her warmly while the blonde eyes her suspiciously. Leah's not had very much interaction with her only encountering her when Leah feels the need to goof off with Emmett. For some reason the giant leech interests her; he's like the big brother she never had but always imagined. Leah is surprised to see Blondie's reaction to hearing of her expected absence. "Why are you leaving?" She asks after Leah explains her purpose and what she's been feeling. "He's not going to like this." Leah frowns already knowing whom she's referring to.

"It's something that I have to do." Leah answers matter-of-factly. Not appreciating a leech butting into her business and the fact that she's only proving Leah's fears.

"He was livid and practically rabid the last time you left." Rosalie answers snidely. "He was short and aggressive with Renesmee the longer you were gone. Bella had to finally convince him to send two of the other mutts to go retrieve you." Leah growls menacingly not appreciating the 'mutt' references in regards to Seth and Embry. They were her last two friends before imprinting came along and redefined their relationship.

"Well that was years ago when everyone was actually patrolling." Leah snaps her eyes narrowing at the cold blonde. "This time he won't even notice my absence. I've not seen him in a month and it's only because he's busy with his imprint. They all are." Leah adds showing a bit more sadness then she would've liked. "Besides I'm going to talk to him about it and I'm going to ask that you all not say anything about it after I'm gone." Leah says looking around at the other two vampires.

"Leah, you don't seriously think that they'll forget about you, do you?" Esme asks skeptically and looking into her eyes Leah can see the sadness and concern. Leah only nods her head because the last year's experience has taught her just that. "Jacob, he'll," Esme begins but stops as Leah shakes her head with small smile.

"I've not seen him in a month. Renesmee is getting older and besides you all can't stay here much longer. Even the small pixie and her mood ring hubbie have moved on." Leah states matter-of-factly. "They're all living their lives and, I guess, it's time for me to start trying to live mine." The three Cullens slowly and reluctantly nod their heads in agreement. Over the years in their interactions with the wolves they can't help but notice the small fact that Leah is needed. Sure, she runs all of the patrols now and even before she handled most of the scheduling for Jacob but there was something more.

"Where are you going?" Rosalie demands with a hard frown.

"North." Leah answers simply and silently thanks her luck. She is glad that Edward Cullen isn't around because for some reason he has a hard time keeping his and other's thoughts to himself. He'd most likely read her mind and would do something to make her stay; if even for the sake of his daughter. That is what Leah sees when she looks at the blonde vampire. Not a woman concerned about her own safety or the mental stability of Jacob Black; but someone concerned for her niece.

"North, where?"

"British Columbia." I suppose. Leah answers locking her eyes with her interrogator while giving her a hard frown. The only reasons behind the questioning is so that when the boys suddenly wake up and notice that she's been gone for longer than a few weeks they'll have a general direction to go search for her. Leah fight backs a smile because that won't be the case this time. Seth and Embry were sent because they were un-imprinted and didn't have a restriction placed upon them. Now, there will be no one able or willing to follow after her – and that is something that she can put in the bank.

"Why British Columbia? Who do you know up there? Why are you going in the first place?" Rosalie drills as Esme gently touches her arm. "NO!" Rosalie snaps angrily snatching her arm away from Esme's grasp. "These are things we have a right to know. She's connected to the mutt and the mutt to Renesmee." Leah raises an eyebrow confused on the 'connected' part. Sure, she's apart of Jake's pack and they had gotten close over time but she made it sound like he'd notice for some other reason then 'pack' issues. She remembers his soft and gentle words from the last time she'd left but in the end that's all it was – words. Empty words from a wolf who has no choice in how to live his life in the end.

"Home." Renesmee calls interrupting Leah and Rosalie before the two can begin arguing and fighting with one another. "Oh…uh, hello, Leah." Renesmee greets as she steps into the family room followed by Jacob, Edward and Bella.

"Hello, everyone." Leah greets with a weak smile. She gives a cold look to Rosalie threatening her bodily harm if she oversteps her bounds and says anything to her Alpha.

"What's going on?" Edward asks stepping forward looking at Leah carefully.

"Leah was here asking for some advice about colleges." Carlisle says sharing a quick glance with Leah. "In fact, the money we have set aside for her can be used to pay for her tuition." Leah can only smile brightly happy that Carlisle has stepped forward to speak up on her behalf. Despite the many years of the interaction with the vampires she doesn't feel very comfortable with so many around her.

"College?" Jacob breaks in frowning at Leah. "Where at? Studying what?"

"Yes, maybe." Leah says not liking the idea of lying. Carlisle lying to him is one thing but she can't bring herself to do it. Although college after she gets…wherever it is she's going doesn't sound like a bad idea, necessarily. "Not quite sure. Undecided." Undecided seems to be the best word to describe this whole clusterfuck of an existence she's had.

"Oh…so where's my usual greeting?" Jacob asks snapping out of his quiet concern and smiling brightly at Leah. Leah looks up at him skeptically as he stands with his arms wide open and is expectantly waiting on her. Years ago as part of a joke Leah would run up to Jake yelling, "Almighty Alpha" before jumping into his arms and giving him a hug. She did it to mock Renesmee and she found his surprised expression the first couple of times to be absolutely hilarious. Eventually, Jake caught on and when he was in carefree mood would always be waiting on it but she'd not seen him in over a month. That and Renesmee had asked her not to greet him like that ever again.

"Uh…not today, Almighty Alpha." Leah says shaking her head earning a frown from Jacob. "But there is something I want to talk to you about – in private." Leah finishes up as Renesmee gives her a hard look.

"Ok." Jacob agrees nodding his head and turning to head outside followed by his beta.

"My Jacob, don't be long." Renesmee calls out causing Jacob to stop in mid-step. "There is something that I want to show you." She says in a sing-song voice that causes Leah to mentally wince. Leah can feel the imprint pull already taking Jacob's attention away from her before she's even had a chance to tell him good bye. He smiles dumbly at her nodding his head in agreement before turning to look at Leah. Leah quickly turns and walks out feeling the wolf inside of her scratching, snarling, biting to get out. She doesn't like the imprinted Alpha and, in fact, hates imprinting. Leah is mildly convinced that she suffers from multiple personality disorders and that the wolf is the angry, irrational and hateful bitch deep within her – but like Quil said, 'she's apart of you'.

"What is it Lee?" Jacob questions seriously. Leah refuses to look up at him knowing that the carefree Jake is gone already and has been replaced with the serious Alpha Jacob. Leah is silent for a few moments thinking over how best to go about the conversation. "Spit it out already." Jacob snarls as his patience is starting to wear thin. His imprint is calling him and he has to return to her – at least so he's convinced himself of it.

"I won't keep you." Leah blurts out and smiles up at Jacob. "I just wanted to say 'thank you'." Leah says as the back of her eyes begin to sting and burn. She mentally berates herself for being weak and tries to fight back the tears. They only become harder to fight back as Jacob's expression softens and he looks confused – a look she's always found adorable on him.

"Thank you? For what?"

"For always being there for me." Leah answers as the urge to run now has her heart racing. She silently prays that Jacob doesn't take notice of it – he doesn't.

"Oh…well…you're welcome." He says still slightly confused by this sudden outpouring of gratitude.

"Jacob!" Renesmee calls out and Jacob without a thought turns around heading off in the direction of the voice. Leah seeing, possibly, her last chance runs up and hugs Jacob tightly from behind.

"Lee," Jacob breathes out trying to look over his shoulder at the small woman behind him.

"Take care." Leah whispers so softly that he doesn't even hear it. Jacob cannot help the deep, sinking, suffocating feeling that something is wrong. Leah rarely turns down her usual greeting for her Alpha except when they've argued and now suddenly this hug? Jacob finds himself racking his brain trying to figure out when was the last time he saw Leah and did they have another argument. The sickening realization that it's been weeks since he's last seen her has his breathing becoming irregular, his chest tight and the spirit within him beginning to feel angry.

"Lee," Jacob begins again but stops as he feels Leah shaking her head into the middle of his back.

"You better get going." Leah says releasing him and slowly backing away from him. He eyes her carefully and a feeling of dread washes over him again. Something is wrong; at least his spirit is telling him so. Leah stands before him her head hanging down and her eyes hidden from his view. He hates not being able to see her eyes because it is the key to reading her true emotions, thoughts and intentions. He takes a step forward towards her but stops short as he hears his imprint impatiently calling his name.

"Look, I'll catch up with ya later. Okay?" Jacob says slowly stepping backwards away from Leah. She nods her head and smiles at him. The action causes his heart to leap up into his throat. His imprint wants him but he feels that his beta needs him. "Bye, Lee." Jacob calls turning to head back into this house reluctantly.

"Bye, Jake." Leah calls back as she too turns walking away from him.

Leah leaves La Push that day and her heart sings as her body transforms and copper skin becomes light gray fur. The she-wolf has won out over the human woman inside. She tears off through the forest tongue lulling out her mouth leaving everything that she's known for the last six years behind. The excitement of something new just over the horizon pushing her to speeds never experienced on such a non-critical moment. The only one aware of Leah's departure is Edward Cullen who's only thought picked up is 'freedom'.

A/N: Well here goes the second chapter. This was actually originally part of the first chapter but I suddenly realized how long it was and decided to break it up. But you all know what to do...or rather, I'd WISH you'd all do. Is read and then review!!

KKJ