Realizations
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight characters. I'm tired...anyone else tired? No. Huh.
The wolf within Leah rejoices in her own way as she runs across a meadow enjoying and reveling in the cool breeze blowing through her fur. Since leaving the rainy peninsula she's had nothing but a perpetual wolfish grin on her face. Her tongue is lulled out tasting every new scent in the air and committing it to memory. The two slowly work as one the human using logic in the best way to avoid humans and cars while the wolf handles the basic survival. Leah plays around feeling like a little kid or a cub chasing squirrels that are much too small to make a decent meal, dragging large branches around in her mouth and tossing them up and even just rolling around in the tall grasses and wildflowers. Gone are her fears of leaving La Push as they are replaced with excitement for new experiences.
It isn't long before Leah comes across a strangely new and yet familiar scent. It's a scent that makes her feel both thrilled and cautioned – it's wolves. She lies down in the tall grass feeling the heavy beating of paws underneath her. Her initial reaction is to run but the wolf inside of her tells her to remain still. She waits patiently as a huge dark gray wolf appears through the trees and cautiously sniffs the air. Leah finds herself only mildly surprised to find another shape shifter in the world and stands up to make her presence known to the newcomer. His head whips around to look at as if completely taken by surprise and seems unsure what to make of her. 'Bonjour.' He greets and Leah returns his greeting back.
'I'm Leah.' She introduces herself lowering her head.
'Oh…you speak English.' He notes seeming to relax a little. 'Uh…I'm John. It's…uh, nice to meet you?' John greets nervously and Leah can't help the laughter that escapes her; a new pack maybe just the new start that she's needed.
It has been over two months since Leah's sudden disappearance. Her absence is only felt, sadly, by the three Elders who told her to leave not so long ago. They all knew that it was only a matter of time before the first and only she-wolf would take off blazing a path that would some how satisfy her. However, they did not believe that she would be right about her presence not being missed by the rest of the wolves. Surely they would notice if a member of their pack was gone?
With their imprints around they have no worries, fears or concerns. The girls are their entire universe and with them by their sides nothing else matters – or rather, should matter as long as they are safe. It is when their safety is threatened do the wolves snap out of their bubbles. The pin comes in the form of a series of slain hikers a couple of miles north of the La Push territory. Sue reads the news in a couple of papers and even hears some grim details from other nurses who have friends or associates in the hospitals in and around the area. It's a vampire or possibly more. The Elders decide to call both packs together and inform them of the possible threat.
Jacob receives a call from his father requesting him to come home for a tribal meeting. He immediately agrees but cannot help the sense of uneasiness – his father called him. Usually, he would've sent Leah to retrieve him or relay a message. He fights back a growl at the mention of his beta's name. Over the years he has developed a very close bond with his beta, Leah Clearwater, which has made him very protective of her. Jacob is aware that his feelings have trickled over into his own pack and possibly into Sam's pack because of the shared link. Leah has become a very vital part of the pack in not only her speed, but her diligence, her loyalty and quick thinking. However, he growls because her presence frustrates him to no end. She brings about thoughts and feelings within him that he knows he has no business feeling. Initially, it reminded him of a small crush that was more of a small and simple 'appreciation' for her. But it soon started to grow into something more. He began craving her presence around him and wanted to touch her or just be near her as much as possible.
He felt his heart leap for joy the first time she ran into his arms calling 'Almighty Alpha' and hugging him tightly. Of course, he quickly realized that she was only making fun of his imprint in her own way but he loved it. It gave him a chance to hold her, feel her body close to his and inhale her sweet scent. He enjoyed being playful around her, making jokes and listening to her laughter. Things changed when she went away to take care of her aunt. He found himself growing impatient with her prolonged absence and no one was spared his short temper; not even his precious Nessie. He tried not to think of her but she hadn't contacted him or phased and it made him nervous and anxious. Then to have Sam muscling in on his emotions wasn't helping either. As far as Jacob was concerned Sam had no right to be questioning him about the presence of his Leah. Eventually even Bella grew impatient with his attitude and told him to go get her himself if he 'was so worried about her'. He sent Embry and Seth to go retrieve and bring her back home no matter what were his exact orders.
He recalls the sense of relief that washed over him when he finally saw her. The look of confusion and the small pout on her face was so cute that he had almost forgotten the anger that had been building up. The only reminder was the fact that Sam was admiring the same expression and enjoying the same relief that he was. His anger and frustration was then released upon his unsuspecting beta. Over the next six or seven months he was Leah's constant companion and refused to let her out of his sight; it was hard to explain but things seemed off balance when she wasn't around. They eventually came to terms – or some minor agreement that involved a very poorly explained excuse about 'pack' issues and the like. Things were back to normal – or at least they were until Nessie confronted him about his sudden disappearance from the Cullens home.
Nessie had expressed to him the best way she knew how, through her mind, how he had been acting and how it made her feel. He had felt a sense of guilt wash over him seeing how he had snapped at her and then suddenly brushed her off to keep an 'eye out on Leah'. He became angry with himself because Nessie was supposed to be his top priority and not Leah; as much as thinking such a thought hurt him. It was then when Leah's presence seemed to frustrate him when his thoughts would stray from anything that wasn't 'imprint normal'. Her hugs would awaken those strange emotions within him and to keep them in check he'd become cold, hard and distant with her. It took a while but he eventually completely immersed himself into his imprint welcoming the feelings and sense of 'happiness' that she brought.
However, those emotions had weakened ever since the last time he had seen Leah. He hadn't been able to explain it but it felt as if something was amiss with the world around him. It was almost as if someone had come into his home and either removed or simply moved a prize trinket or knick-knack but he couldn't see what it was. The wolf in him tried to get him to go home and figure out what was the problem but he fought the instinct and instead focused on his imprint. Surely, whatever was wrong had to involve Nessie, right? But everything seemed to be perfectly fine with her, Bella, Edward, Rosalie and the rest of the Cullens. He'd even called Alice and Jasper in Europe to make sure that they were alright. He had dismissed the feeling as over time it seemed to grow weaker with each passing day; however, his father's call had now caused the feeling to resurface.
He shows up at his father's house with Renesmee in tow. She refuses to let him go back to La Push without her and despite his questioning and coaxing is unable to find out why she's so opposed to him going alone. His smile brightens as he walks in and is greeted with waves and salutations from the wolves and their imprints. He sits down and can't even remember when the last time that they were all together like this was. With so little room available Renesmee takes her seat in Jacob's lap and the action seems to only earn a frown from the Elders. He brushes it off and looks around marveling at how much the packs have grown; kids have even been born to Sam, Paul and Jared.
"There have been a series of strange murders to our northern borders." Sue begins getting right down to business and silencing the talkative bunch. "We believe that they are the work of a vampire or maybe more than one."
"How do you know?" Sam asks interrupting Sue as concern washes over his face.
"How close to our borders?" Embry asks holding his imprint tightly to his side.
"A few miles." Billy answers.
"It's been going on for about a few weeks now." Old Quil adds and a sense of unease begins to builds. Jacob looks around the room quickly trying to process how the Elders know and most importantly who told them and not him or Sam. Looking around the room he notices the absence of his beta – she's no where around.
"Some of the victims have been La Push residents." Sue whispers sadly and this news seems to act as a punch in the gut for all the wolves present.
"Leah? Where's Leah?" Jacob demands jumping up. Renesmee quickly falls to the floor and looks up at him with sad and hurt eyes. "She would've sounded the alarm if there were leeches." Jacob states his head whipping around as the other wolves also become aware of her absence.
"Leah?" Sue breathes out confused. This confusion only increases the wolves fear.
"Yes, Leah!" Jacob shouts his emotions starting to get the better of him. Was this the unease and bad feeling that was taking over him? Leah. Was she hurt? Was she bitten? Why hadn't she told him about the vampires? Where was she now? She should've been at the meeting. Maybe she was out patrolling and figured it best to let the Elders handle updating the two packs; that way someone was still patrolling. That was it, right?
"Leah's gone, Jake." Billy says sadly. The words only seem to confuse Jacob even more as he tries to piece together everything that he's been feeling since the last time he saw his beta, his Lee.
"Gone? Gone where?" Seth questions as panic starts to build up in his voice.
"Leah left La Push months ago." Sue answers looking around at the wolves and their imprints with a cold, hard stare. Leah had called her two weeks after leaving La Push to inform them that she was okay and was running through Canada. She had checked up on them at least once a week and talked to her, Billy and Old Quil for hours each. It pained her to realize that not even her own brother had noticed her absence since he was so wrapped up into his imprint that nothing else mattered. Sue knew of the empty promises each of the men had made to spend time with Leah and in the end none of them remembered to even call and check up on her. She can only sigh heavily as the realization of what they had all said to Leah and that they failed suddenly dawns on them.
"Where did she go?" Embry demands angrily his fists clenched tightly.
"That's not important." Sue snaps startling all present. "Leah is fine wherever she is. The issue at hand is the vampires to our northern borders. Now you will all step up and fulfill your duties. She was never any of yours concern before." Sue states coldly causing every wolf to hang his head in shame. "So don't act like now all of a sudden she's so important to any of you." Seth bites his bottom lip as his mother's cold stare falls on him in the end.
Jacob lets out a deep guttural growl as he turns and storms out of the house. He can't believe it and refuses to believe it that Leah has been gone for months – possibly three months? She would've told him if she was leaving – she just wouldn't up and leave without a word. Didn't she say good bye to anyone? The door to the Clearwater home bangs open and swings unsteadily on its hinges as he stands in the doorframe sniffing the air. He is desperately seeking out her scent – something, anything to convince himself that Sue is lying; that she's mistaken. A lump catches in his throat as he becomes aware that Leah's scent is faint; it's stronger than Seth's but still there. He bounds up the stairs towards her room as Renesmee steps into the house after him. He is sniffing furiously as he steps inside of her room and finds Leah's scent to be old, stale and faint. "She's gone?" He whispers as his shoulders slump.
That feeling of guilt washes over him as he recalls his last encounter with Leah. She had something she had wanted to tell him but he didn't listen to her because Renesmee had called him. Renesmee had wanted to play a new score for him that she and Edward had composed. At the time it was a beautiful piece that he loved listening to – it was further proof of how special and wonderful she was. But now looking back on it; was it really so important that it couldn't have waited a few minutes? The wolf inside him is snarling and fighting to get out – to explode and find her, bring Leah back home where she belongs.
"Jacob?" At the calling of his name he turns around almost expecting to see Leah standing behind him. She'd be confused about why he was in her room and not at the meeting. She'd have that cute little pout on her face as her head would be cocked to one side in a canine fashion. Instead he turns around and sees Renesmee.
"She's gone." Jacob repeats to her not sure exactly what to say or do at the moment. The wolf wants to blame the girl before him for Leah's disappearance, Sam for breaking her in the first place, Seth for being a horrible brother, Emily for a being an even worst cousin, Sue for being so irresponsible as to let Leah leave and most of all himself for never realizing.
"I know." Renesmee says softly looking around the room taking in all the details. Her inability to make eye contact with him has the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. She knew? How much did she know? Had she always known? Before he can ask his question Seth appears behind her also seeking for some sort of proof that his mother is incorrect. Jacob's question is soon quickly forgotten as Seth slowly falls to his knees and his shoulders begin to shake violently. Vanessa, his imprint, stands behind him unsure of exactly what to do for him as he silently cries for his sister.
The tears and guilt is short lived as Sue and the rest arrive at the Clearwater home. Jacob finds himself feeling a bit lost and out of place now that the two packs have to be pulled together to investigate the possible threat. He's not had to deal with this situation alone – Leah was always there beside him. Sure Seth was always willing to do whatever needed to be done but in the end it was really Leah who knew what was best. Coverage was never an issue with her; she just seemed to know where she was needed the most. Quil and Embry also seem at a loss of what to do and look to Jacob for direction.
Shaking his head he pulls his pack to the side and gives them a pep talk or something along the lines of a stern talking to. They've done this before without Leah and can do it now – even if it feels wrong. Looking at each of their eyes he knows that they feel just as guilty as he does. There will be time for pity and self-loathing later but right now they have a vampire to chase. The packs quickly phase and Jacob instructs Renesmee to stay in La Push with the rest of the imprints. She insists upon going to help but a threat to inform her parents and Rosalie of her actions convinces her to stay put.
The two packs move out and none can deny the adrenaline they feel being free and running back in their wolf forms. The adrenaline isn't enough to quell the numbing realization that they are short their best scout. No snide comments about how out of practice they are after being gone for so long. No one is exuding confidence that this will be a quick and easy job. Just silence.
They arrive at the northern border and suddenly all ears are alert and noses are twitching – there's a scent. Leah's scent still lingers around the northern border; the forest canopy protecting the scent from the rain. There are yelps and whines of excitement as thoughts of Leah being not too far away are shared from one mind to another. The younger wolves even call out Leah's name in desperation hoping to hear her voice calling back to them – but there is no response. The two alphas stand quietly and exchange silent glances both knowing all too well that Leah Clearwater wouldn't just linger around the border of their territory. As much as they hate to admit it when Leah sets her mind to something she follows through on it. In other words, if she planned on leaving La Push then she was definitely leaving La Push. 'Silence.' Sam growls out calling his pack to order and feels a sense of envy well up in him looking over at Jacob's pack. Despite the familiar scent Jacob's pack has remained calm not allowing themselves to become overly excited.
'We should split up running a couple hundred yards along the border before crossing over and heading towards the trails Sue described.' Jacob says solemnly looking to his right. Sam begrudgingly nods his head thinking it is a smart idea. 'But we won't want to leave the border completely unprotected. My pack can run ahead and scout out the area while a few of the others remain close to here. Then only come if the extra help is required.' Sam looks surprised at Jacob's logic as his ears move forward and back trying to pick up any strange sounds and Embry stands on his hind legs raising himself up to catch a whiff of any sickeningly sweet scents in the wind. He's rarely seen this side of Jacob very familiar with the irresponsible Jake or the more serious Jake; even the latter was rare and had involved Leah.
Years ago they used to play war games and despite the quantity advantage Sam's pack had over Jacob's. Sam found it very hard to get the upper hand on Jacob Black and his pack. Some how the pack had strategize working out each of the pack's individual talents and then using them to play up his pack's weaknesses. Sam always silently accused Jacob of cheating by using the mind reading Cullen as his ace up his sleeve but later he began to recall that Leah was always great at playing COD or Halo. She easily mastered Socom when it came to ordering her soldiers with such efficiency and strategy that it pissed him off when she returned it three days later 'claiming' to have beaten it. Was this a strategy that Leah had come up with when dealing with the occasional rogue vampires that had crossed into the Cullens' territory?
'Is there a problem, Sam?' Jacob growls out noticing Sam's inactivity. The black wolf merely shakes his head and with snort causes his pack to take the left flank. 'Let's go. Seth, you're with me. We're running ahead with Quil and Embry covering the rear.' Seth nods his head and takes off running with Jacob right behind him. The small pack moves out quickly covering ground trying to find any familiar and unfamiliar scents to give them an idea of what's being going on in the last few weeks. Seth can't hold back his whimper once Leah's scent disappears completely signaling that she'd not patrolled this area within the last few months. Seth looks back to see Jacob running along side him and feels a pang stab him in his heart. Usually on a simple scouting mission like this it'd be him and Leah running ahead of the pack. She'd make a game of the job trying to push him to run harder and tease him for being so slow – she'd blame it on Vanessa's cooking. 'Focus, Seth.' Jacob snaps trying his best to fight the image of Leah popping up in his head.
The small pack reaches the end of the northern border before it begins to slowly veer southeast heading towards Forks. All of their tongues are lulling out their mouths with the exception of Jacob's. They are all out of shape and out of practice from not phasing within the last year. Jacob can't help but marvel that they still remember how after so long. 'It's not something that you easily forget.' Embry states with a huff as he licks his jaws still panting.
'And it's also doesn't hurt that Leah's gone without any of us realizing it.' Quil states with a deep growl the obvious. The news of Leah's disappearance having put the wolves in a very tense and aggressive mood has allowed their phasing to seem seamless.
'Thank you, Captain Obvious.' Seth snarls sarcastically and the other three wolves look at him sharply for one brief moment. In that moment, they all share the loss of Leah's absence with one another. Each recalling how much she means to them and the shame they feel in never following through on their word. Embry promised to go to the movies with Leah like they used to prior to his imprinting. Seth was going to hit the beach with her and maybe do some fishing. Quil had promised Leah that he'd tag along with her on one of cooking classes so she didn't have to be alone in class. Jacob growls silently to himself realizing that he's the only one who Leah never mentioned leaving to. He never made any promises because he didn't know what was going on.
'How could you not know?' Embry pushes with a hard frown. Jacob sits back and is assaulted with Leah's conversation with each of the wolves present about her leaving. She was never specific about anything except that she was leaving. It hurts him that Leah could tell everyone else but him. A growl erupts from his throat as he turns facing north ready for a fight – desperate for anything that'd help him release his pent up anger, frustration, disappointment and self hatred.
'Nessie distracted you too, huh?' Quil comments with a simple head nod.
'We've all been distracted.' Seth notes angrily. They all feel an searing heat pump through their bodies pushing them on. Each now slowly awakening to a sensation that they've never felt before - anger; anger towards their imprints. It's an unsettling feeling that sits like rancid food at the pit of their stomachs but isn't something any of them are willing to let go of - yet. In the meantime, they will hunt the killers in the mountains to the north and woe to the unsuspecting soul-less creature that will fall prey to their building rage.
A/N: Alright so here goes the next update. Thanks for all of the reviews and don't worry about Leah. Although there is going to be a lot more with Jacob and the La Push wolves. Gawd, I'm tired. Who knew a 14-hr difference could mess with a person so much. Anyone seen Clash of the Titans yet? I LOVE the original and I'm really looking forward to this. Fortunately, it's 6 dollar Tuesday! WOOHOO! XoX And I just used up the last of my reserved energy on that...sweet Jacob abs I've still got 6 1/2 hrs left in my shift.