Vampire In Chuckle City

xStarletx

A/N: OMGZ This took me a long time to Type up, but here it is. I hope you like it. Tell me what you think peoples! Don't forget to REVIEW!

Chapter 2

Chad had never been so angry in his life. Her boyfriend? What was she thinking? Chad knelt beside the sofa Kimberly had thrown herself on as soon as they had gotten back to the Falls and since he was handcuffed to her he had no choice but to sit with her as she cried.

"I c-c-can't believe he's d-d-dating HER!" Kimberly sobbed into a pillowed. Yeah, Chad couldn't believe it either.

"I can't believe you left me for him! What is it about this guy? HE'S NOT A REAL VAMPIRE!" Chad snarled. He really wanted to uncuff himself from her, but if he did he knew he'd lose track of her, Kimberly had this amazing special ability in which she could literally disappear within the blink of an eye, and being the idiot that he was he couldn't remember where he had actually left the key to the cuffs. Kimberly propped herself up on her elbows and gave Chad her driest look.

"You were dating me for the publicity, don't even lie." Kimberly reminded him. Chad cringed, he didn't really want to bring that dark chapter of his life back into the lime light.

"Dylan, do you think he really likes her?" Kimberly asked, turning her impossibly large brown eyes to him. For some reason she had been using his middle name since she had gotten there and for some reason that made him a little more comfortable, Kimberly always gave people nicknames, especially if she liked them.

"Sonny's very likeable, she can't do anything without it being cute. STUPID CUTE!" Chad muttered, at those words Kimberly sat up a little straighter, her eyes widening a little more as if she had come to some realization. Chad cringed and avoided eye contact, she couldn't have possibly figured out his dark secret after such a short period of time?

"You… like… Sonny…" Kimberly murmured. Chad's eyes widened how had she figured it out, his stomach churned nervously when he recognized the devious glint in those brown eyes.

"Psh, wha? No. You're crazy." Chad tried to deny.

"Wow, you like her a lot. This must really hurt, took me and now he's taken Sonny." Kimberly sighed. Chad growled at her. Did she have to say that? She suddenly changed her attitude. "You know, we can make this work!"

"Ah come on! Not another one of your crazy schemes Kim! They always got us in trouble!" Chad pleaded but Kimberly ignored him, something else she was good at.

"Maybe, if we keep pretending we're dating we can maybe make one of them jealous and possibly split them up." Kimberly mused. Chad hung his head, she seemed to be deciding everything without him. "This could work Dylan, it really could!"

"Leave Robert Pattinson? Come on, he's a whole different kind of famous the only reason he knows me is cause he stole my girlfriend." Chad growled.

"And if Sonny doesn't get jealous Robert will, he's always been the jealous type!" Kimberly continued. Chad sighed, yep he was being ignored.

"Look, even if this was to, say, work – Do you even want to get back together with Robert?" Chad asked her. Kimberly frowned and looked back down to the sofa.

"You know how I get when I'm angry. I'll say anything to hurt the other person." Kimberly reminded him. Once again Chad winced. He knew from first hand that it wasn't nice being the person on the receiving end of Kimberly's rage. It wasn't pretty, but it defiantly made him feel a bit better about everything he had went through knowing now that she hurt herself as much as she hurt him.

"O.K. We'll try this out. But if it doesn't work out we're going to drop it and NEVER bring it up again! Chad bargained, knowing he might as well agree now cause it was going to happen with or without his acceptance.

"Deal! Now un-cuff me." Kim ordered shaking his offered hand. Chad paused and once again grimaced apologetically.

"Yeah… about that..."

Sonny put a cup of piping hot tea in front of the sniffling Robert Pattinson, she glanced to the clock, they were really late, but she had called Marshall and told him that she was having a problem with their Guest Star and that they would be there as soon as he got cleaned up. Robert had rapidly slid down the hill of unattractiveness in the last ten minutes, the only improvement was that he had finally stopped blubbering.

"I just don't get it. She never really liked Chad, she was miserable with him, I can't believe she'd go back to him, even if it was just to hurt me." Robert told her for like the hundredth time.

"I don't know." Sonny told him. "He didn't even mention it to me when he was here earlier."

"You and he are close?" Robert asked, sniffing lightly before turning her. He lifted the mug of tea to his lips sipping on it delicately; those lips looked like they could kiss anyone into a blissful oblivion.

"I thought we were." Sonny admitted, feeling a little blue about the whole situation. Robert put a hand to her knee.

"Don't worry, all of us get fooled at some point. I actually thought Kim cared about it." Robert replied petting her softly with his hand. He sighed softly and removed his hand. "I don't even want to know what she'll say when she realizes we aren't actually going out."

Sonny paused, she stared at him as he sulked into his mug of tea. He took a hesitant sip of his tea then sniffed loudly. Suddenly a light went off in her head. This was almost exactly like that time she fake dated Chad to get James Conroy jealous. If it had worked with James it could work with Kim, maybe even with Chad.

"You know, maybe she doesn't even have to find out." Sonny alluded. Robert looked up from his tea to her, a skeptical look on his face.

"She's not that stupid Sonny. She knows me, she'll know that I was lying." Robert explained to her.

"Not if we tell her we're dating." Sonny told him.

"I've already told her that, that's how we got into the mess!" Robert cried. Sonny rolled her eyes, good he was really slow.

"I'm talking about fake dating. We're going to pretend to date." Sonny finally spat out. Robert paused and turned to her.

"I think that could work, if Kim wasn't so good at reading people." Robert sighed. Sonny rolled her eyes.

"Robert. We are trained actors. I think we can handle this." Sonny tried to persuade.

"Kim is the jealous type." Robert mused. Sonny perked up.

"You see. This can work. You just have to believe in me, in yourself and our plan." Sonny cried, grabbing his hands tightly. Robert smiled lightly. She didn't really want to mention that she was hoping it would get Chad jealous. She hadn't brought up her feelings for Chad yet, she wasn't sure if it was a good idea yet. Robert didn't really need to know all that.

"Besides, worse comes to worse we could just have a fake break up." Sonny offered. Robert nodded no doubt thinking over everything that she had proposed. He took another sip of his tea.

"Well it's worth a shot.' Robert shrugged. Sonny smiled brightly, she hoped that this wouldn't be like her other plans that usually went up in smoke.

"So what should we do first?" Robert asked. Sonny sighed.

"Well, how about we start with getting to the practice we're late for?" Sonny asked. Robert looked to the clock for the first time. He put his barely touched tea down.

"You're right I'm sorry. Let's go." Robert sighed, getting up. Sonny couldn't help but smile. Things were definitely looking up. She was definitely on her way to getting Chad for herself. Look out Kimberly Berkley, Sonny Monroe is after your man!

Rehearsal didn't go so well for Robert. He wasn't used to being funny, that was always Kimberly's forte.

"Are you sure I can't just brood?" Robert asked Sonny for the millionth time. He looked away from Sonny's sympathetic smile, he frowned as he sat down on a prop box, this was starting to full on suck. Sonny sighed, turns out Robert wasn't any good at being funny, he was all serious and angsty and stuff instead. It was a good thing he was cute.

"I just don't understand. You were funny in your interviews." Sonny complained sitting down beside him.

"Well yeah, Kim always helped me out with those sorts of things. She's always got these snappy responses." Robert told her. Sonny was flabbergasted

"Kim was your sense of humor?" Sonny cried. Robert was about to respond but was cut off.

"CDC and his hawty-tot girlfriend in the hiz-ouse!" Chad announced. He walked into the room, well Chad never walked he strutted and strutting beside him was Kimberly. They looked disgustingly cute together. Chad had his arm around Kimberly's waist and her arm was around his. Robert had jumped out of his skin and out of his seat. In the time it took to turn around to face them Chad and Kimberly were now lounging against the snack table, their hands interlaced.

"How's chuckle city Grim?" Kimberly taunted. Robert reddened, Sonny glared and stepped up to protect him as any girlfriend would do for her boyfriend.

"He's doing just fine. You may have taught him how to get people to chuckle, but I'm teaching him how to get a real laugh." Sonny snarled. Kimberly's eyes raised up.

"Well good luck with that. Robert doesn't do Comedy very well do you emo boy? I on the other hand am excelling at the art of drama under the tutelage of the Great Chad Dylan Cooper. Aren't I Dylan baby?" Kimberly purred, she dragged her finger along Chad's jaw bone, all the way down to his chin then up to his lips. Chad's eyes widened as if he were excited, a pink tinge splayed across his cheeks. Beside her Robert shuddered, his own eyes wide and glazed over, his chest was heaving as if he could barely breathe. Sonny wondered if Robert was imagining that finger on himself.

"Why yes. You're one of my best students and my favourite!" Chad murmured, he caught Kim's wandering finger, which had been tracing over Chad's lips, in his mouth. He smiled his teeth gently holding onto her finger tip before closing his lips around her finger and sucking lightly, Kimberly giggled vivaciously. Robert started shaking, his face we turning redder, he looked like he wanted to kill them both.

"Yeah! Well Robert's one of the best kisser's I've head! Yeah that's right!" Sonny announced. She wasn't entirely sure where it came from, but it definitely shocked Robert enough to calm him down. The only problem now was that Kimberly looked like she wanted to attack Sonny and Chad had turned this uncharacteristic red color.

"Oh yea! Well Kim swore her undying love to not just me but all of the FALLS!" Chad cried, he took a step away from Kimberly who looked relatively confused and towards Sonny. Sonny felt her own cheeks flush in anger and in response to that angry she stepped away from Robert and towards Chad.

"That's nice. Robert wants to spend the rest of his life with me!" Sonny countered. She had fully walked up to Chad now who met her half way. Behind her Robert looked shocked but she didn't notice. She did notice that Kimberly was look confused.

"Pft! Is that all? HA! We have our whole life planned out. Down to the names of our kids!" Chad screamed.

"What Chad Dylan Cooper junior?" Kimberly asked, Sonny stared at her. That is exactly what Chad would name his son. They really did talk about having kids together.

"Well why don't you go marry her then!" Sonny cried, stomping her foot angrily.

"Oh I plan to!" Chad swore. He then turned away and strode towards the unimpressed Kimberly. He then linked arms with her and pulled her off of stage two. Sonny turned back to Robert who was staring at her like he had come to some amazing conclusion.

"Well that was fascinating." Robert told her. "So when were you going to tell me you like Chad?"

"What? I think the more important question here is why does she call him Dylan?" Sonny retorted.

"Oh, it's a pet name. She gives everyone she likes a pet name. Mine was cuddle monkey, even before we started dating, cause she used to love cuddling me." Robert explained. Sonny gave him a dry look before leaving the stage. Robert chased after her.

"You could have told me you know!" Robert called after her, breaking into a run to keep up with her.

Kimberly slammed the door of Chad's dressing room as hard as she could, she had never been so angry.

"Chad Dylan Cooper? What in the name of drama was all that?" Kim yelled jabbing Chad in the shoulder. Chad backed away from her wildly.

"You used my full name!" He cried pointing to her. Kimberly scowled, how very observant.

"Cause I'm angry!" Kim cried. Chad immediately put the sofa in between them. "You very nearly ruined our entire plan! Acting so foolishly."

"Well I couldn't help it! Best Kisser she's had Kim! BEST KISSER! No one else should be kissing those lips! Those are my lips!" Chad screamed back. Kim folded her arms across her chest and glared at him.

"He's Robert Pattinson. He's famous, he's rich, and he is a very good kisser." Kim agreed. Chad glowered at her.

"Who's side are you on?" He asked. Kim sighed as she plunked down to Chad's couch.

"Yours of course. But I can't help it Chad. I know what she's going through. He's just so HAWT when he's all angsty and brooding. Sometimes he's so intense you just wanna rip his clothes off and demand he does you then and there no matter where you are!" Kimberly explained. Chad eyed her warily, as if she had a disease or something. Kimberly paused and looked to him.

"I'm sorry. I just really miss my cuddle-monkey." Kimberly pouted. Chad nearly choked on his own tongue. Her what?

"I'm sorry… Cuddle monkey?" Chad repeated. Kimberly looked up to him those big brown eyes watering slightly and Chad changed the topic.

"I know this is probably a bad time, but we need you to be more Serious, for Mackenzie's Falls. Did Robert teach you anything about brooding?" Chad teased. Kimberly smiled.

"I'm trying. You know Seriousness isn't my forte. But I'll try harder." Kimberly promise.

"That's good." Chad murmured. "And you are doing much better. I'm really surprised."

For a while an uncomfortable silence ensued, in which Kimberly sniffed a little bit and Chad whistled to himself. Sudden a bright smile spread across his face.

"Cuddle-monkey? Really?" Chad teased. Kimberly frowned at him and picked up a pillow.

"Don't you start with me!" Kimberly warned. Chad's giggles subsides to suppressed hiccups, Kimberly brought the pillow to her chest and hugged it tightly.

"So did you call him that in public? Was he embarrassed? Where did you even come up with Cuddle-monkey?" Chad questioned teasingly. He had more questions to ask but was cut off by the pillow connecting with his jaw. It didn't hurt much but it was most definitely a challenge. Chad chuckled and picked up the pillow. Kimberly put out a hand as if to ward him off.

"Now Dylan! I did give you warning… this is a sensitive topic to me." Kimberly explained. Chad smiled deviously. Kimberly back away from him picking up another pillow. "Don't do anything rash Dylan, or I'll be forced to defend myself"

"Duel accepted then!" Chad cried jumping from the couch and rushing Kimberly. Back in the day they used to play fight like that all the time, they would spend hours hitting each other with pillows or chasing each other around attempting to tickle one another. It was strange how quickly they were slipping back into those blissful days when they were dating and there was no drama between them… nothing but sweet loving happiness.

Sonny stormed into the dressing room she shared with Tawni having finally gotten Robert to leave her alone and retire to his own trailer out on the lot. She figured she could rest in her Dressing room and think of a way to get Chad out of that evil Kimberly's clutches and somehow push Kimberly into Robert who was clearly lost without her, but she was entirely wrong.

"You're DATING Robert Pattinson? You were only with him for TWENTY MINUTES? How is this possible? WHY DO YOU HATE ME?" Tawni cried as soon as Sonny shut the door. Sonny sighed, Tawni would think she was doing this to upset her, couldn't she see that she was doing this to upset Cha? Then again she couldn't really tell Tawni nor the other member of So Random about her feelings for Chad, they wouldn't have been supportive in the least.

"I don't hate you Tawni. I'm just a rebound and I know that. He's trying to get over his ex-girlfriend." Sonny explained.

"Oh that's just great. Robert Pattinson breaks up with Kristen Steward and decides to get over her with you? Why couldn't he get over her with me? I'm the one that dates Movie stars, hotel heirs and princes… NOT YOU!" Tawni reminded her. Sonny sighed, she wasn't sure if she could tell Tawni that Robert had been dating Kimberly Berkley and not Kristen Steward. She had promised to keep it a secret.

"Because you were unconscious at the time. Remember?" Sonny teased, Tawni coloured and frowned, she pulled out her lipstick tube of Coco Mocho Coco and applied it to her lips no doubt to calm herself.

"And when did Chad and Kimberly get back together? I thought he'd never see her again after that break up they had." Tawni mused. Sonny suddenly perked up, suddenly curious to know just what Tawni knew about Chad and Kimberly's last relationship. Maybe she knew what broke them up the last time… other then Robert Pattinson's rugged charm.

"Uhm.. I don't know. Hey you know all the hot gossip…. What do you know about Chad and Kim's previous relationship?" Sonny asked being sure to praise Tawni before asking to soften her up. Sure enough it worked, Tawni flipped her hair happily before launching into the details.

"Well I know he met her at a benefit, I think it was a Cancer Research, and they hit it off rather well. She's a very private person though and she doesn't like having her business dragged through the media where as we all know Chad's the complete opposite. Eventually the whole 'she cheated' 'he cheated' appeared in the media, and about maybe five months after that she broke it off with him. There was a whole public thing in which Chad acted the victim making Kimberly out to be some awful person." Tawni told her. Sonny sighed, this story made Chad sound awful. No wonder Kimberly broke up with him. Would Chad do the same thing to her?

"But here's something the media doesn't know and don't you tell Chad I know this. They say she broke up with him in person and that's a lie. She actually broke up with him on a phone call. He was outside in the parking lot and he was talking to her on the phone and he was begging her to stay with him, kept saying that he loved her. She said no of course and Chad said he'd make her regret letting him go. He hung up the phone sat himself own in one of the golf carts and cried. It was the first I had ever seen him convey any kind of emotion, I was so shocked, not like Chad at all. I was going to tell the media then and there but I decided to save it for a rainy day, when I really need Chad to do something important for me. You know use it as leverage." Tawni explained. Sonny didn't care for Tawni's rainy day plans, only one line was stuck repeating in her head, making her heart constrict painfully.

He kept saying that he loved her.

Sonny's worst fears were realized. At some point Chad Dylan Cooper had loved someone more than he had loved himself. Chad could feel, and he had felt for Kimberly.

DUNDUNDUN! OMG Chad feeling? For someone other than himself? PREPOSTEROUS! Yet completely true! Would Tawni lie to you? Disregard that! Just review for the next CHAPTAH!