Recollections

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.

He sits on the old, worn couch, his feet kicking rhythmically to a beat that can only be heard inside his head. There is a deep frown upon his small, round and chubby russet face that doesn't seem to faze those around him. His eyes throw a quick side glance in the direction that his mother went; she's crying. He doesn't understand why his Momma is crying, but it has something to do with Daddy – that he's certain of. The frown on his face deepens as does his brows, now practically knitted together, in a sign of his frustration, confusion and anger. He hates not being able to understand what is going on around him. It's raining outside and he has no choice but to remain inside the small red house with the other children as his Momma sits in the kitchen crying.

Why is Momma crying? Where's Daddy?

These questions and more run through little Sam's head as he tries to piece together what he knows. His Daddy left for work but didn't come back. Why hadn't his Daddy come back home yet? Was he lost? Sam recalls his father telling him that he ever got lost to stay in one place and that his Daddy would come and find him. Sam sighs as his hands tighten into tiny fists; his Momma should be out looking for his Daddy instead of sitting in Mr. Black's kitchen crying. How can you find anything when your eyes are filled with tears to the point you can't see? At least that's what Daddy always said whenever he felt like crying.

"Don't worry your Daddy will be back." Sam looks up and sees the biggest, softest brown eyes looking right back at him. It's Mr. Clearwater's daughter, Leah, she's a year younger than him.

"I know that." Sam snaps angrily as he narrows his eyes at the girl next to him. Her hair is pulled up into a simple ponytail, her lips stained red from the candy that she had offered him earlier. He looks down and notices her blue shirt stained red too and frowns at the messy girl in front of him.

"Okay…well, I'm just saying that you're right." Leah says slowly and carefully with a small frown.

"More, Lee-Lee, give me more." Leah's attention turns from Sam to the smaller child before her. His chubby hands reaching up for the red sucker that she has in her hands, his lips and tongue stained red. Sam frowns as the 'baby' climbs up into 'Lee-Lee's' lap and pulls the candy into his own mouth.

"Jakey, you're supposed to wait your turn." Leah scolds with a small frown.

"We share, Lee-Lee. We share, okay?" The little Jacob says as he wedges himself in between Leah and Sam.

"Yes, Jakey, we share." Leah says giggling as she wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly.

Sam looks on as Jacob wraps his arms around Lee-Lee and hugs her back. He suddenly wishes that he hadn't snapped at Leah because than she'd probably hug him. His mother's cries suddenly become louder as the Blacks, Clearwaters and Atearas all try to calm her down – with no success. He won't cry because his Daddy told him that big boys don't cry but at 8-years old he really wants to. He knows his Daddy will be back soon but right now…he really wishes someone would hug him.

It's Valentine's Day and he's now 14-years old; his father never came back like he had believed but that's okay. He looks after his Momma now and does his best not to cause any trouble for her; at least that's what all the adults have been telling him every day since word got out that his father up and abandoned them. He studies hard in school, never picks or teases the other kids and tries to make his tribe proud of him. The tribe is his family, now, and every male on the Council is his father and their acceptance and support is what he seeks out and needs.

Or at least it was; now, he's looking for something a bit more. She's sitting on the swing, hair tied up in a loose ponytail, bangs cut perfectly straight across her forehead. Her hands are busy working the buttons on a small black handheld game, her feet lazily propelling the swing back and forth and there is a small smile on her face.

Lee-Lee.

Her lips are moving, mumbling something either to herself or her game. Sam bites his bottom lip, watching her lips move quickly and he wants to so badly know what she's talking about. He'll gladly join in on whatever one-sided conversation she is having. The card in his bag, although made of simple construction paper, glue, glitter and words written in marker, weighs nothing; it feels like some heavy weight sitting on his shoulder. The words 'Lee-Lee, be my Valentine. – Sam' seem to possess a fire within them that makes a part of him just want to throw the entire bag at her and run away like there was a bomb in it.

Just give it to her.

He tells himself as he becomes painfully aware of his heavy breathing, sweaty palms and dry mouth. Closing his eyes, giving his bottom lip one last hard nip and steeling his nerves, Sam walks towards the swing with conviction in his mind and love in his heart. He's had a crush on Leah Clearwater now for the last year and he's finally going to let her know about it; that's what his Momma said to do. "Tell her how you feel. Otherwise someone else will swoop in and take her away. Then what will you have? Nothing but regrets and a broken heart, that's what." He had wanted to buy her a card but realized too late that he'd spent all his money on his Pokémon trading cards.

"Hey, Lee-Lee," Sam greets stopping a few feet short of Leah. She looks up at him, quickly, and gives him a small smile before returning back to her game. "Ha," Sam begins but is cut short as Leah holds up a finger silencing him.

"HA! I captured Mew!" Leah declares proudly jumping up from her swing. He watches amused and in awe as her light brown eyes dance with excitement and joy. "Do you wanna see?" Leah asks and Sam quickly nods his head. He inhales deeply as she quickly moves to stand beside him, her hair smelling like strawberries, as he bends down to get a closer look at her screen.

"I didn't know you were into Pokémon." Sam states with a small smile.

"I'm going to 'catch 'em all'." Leah says seriously as she makes a fist.

"I don't have the video game but I do buy the cards." Sam says sheepishly suddenly feeling embarrassed at his lacking.

"Oh, well that's alright," Leah says reassuringly, "You,"

"LEE!" Leah is cut off as a voice cuts in, interrupting their conversation. Sam looks up with a deep frown as Jacob Black comes running up towards them, the bag on his back jostling every which way on his back and a huge grin on his face.

"JAKE!" Leah calls back with the same excitement and volume.

"Sorry, sorry I'm late." Jacob says once he's in front of her. "Just had to help Dad out with a few things before I could leave." Jacob explains as he drops his bag on the ground at Sam's feet. "Hey, Sam," Jacob greets with a nod as he bends down and begins rummaging through his bag. "How's it going?"

"Alright." Sam answers curtly.

"Guess what, Jake, I got Mew!" Leah declares plopping down on the ground next to Jacob. Sam watches with envy as Jacob's eyes light up and the two begin talking back and forth about the elusive Mew. Sam's jealousy only continues to grow as Jacob pulls out his Gameboy and the two begin to discuss trading Pokémon.

Stupid Jacob Black.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Jacob says as his shoots up quickly and he looks at Leah.

"Sit down, Sam." Leah orders as she tugs on his pants leg seeming to remember his presence. Sam, against his better judgment, does as he's told. He sits down next to Leah so close that their knees are touching.

"This is for you," Jacob says proudly as he hands Leah a card. "Happy Valentine's Day!" Jacob says excitedly as Leah's eyes widen in surprise.

"But we already exchanged Valentine's yesterday at school." Leah says fighting back a smile but taking the card quickly so that she can look at it. Sam feels his heart quake as his Momma's words begin to play in his head.

Am I too late?

"Yea, but that's what I got everyone. This is something special just for you." Jacob says as he scoots over moving closer to Leah. Leaning over Sam looks at the card made by Jacob Black; it's made out of construction paper, there's no hearts or glitter. It's a simple piece of paper, folded in half, there's a Charmander and an Eevee both hugging each other tightly. They are crudely drawn pictures but the characters are still easily recognized. Opening the card, there are no simple words declaring Jacob's 'like' for Leah but a simple, "You'll always be my friend – Jake".

After reading the card, Leah leans over and hugs Jacob thanking him for the Valentine's Day gift which Jacob eagerly returns back. Leah than explains to Sam that Eevee is her favorite Pokémon while Charmander is Jacob's. She likes Eevee because he has a choice of what to evolve into or not at all if he chooses. Jacob tries to convince Leah that Flareon is the better choice but Leah only laughs at his suggestion saying that she'll consider it. Sam eventually works himself up into giving Leah the Valentine's Day card that he made for her. Jacob watches on silently as Leah blushes over the card cut into the shape of a heart and she hugs Sam as a form of 'thank you'. There's a hint of smug satisfaction as Sam hugs Leah tightly and fights the urge to make eye contact with Jacob – he does anyway. There's a darkness in Jacob's eyes that for a moment unsettles Sam but it passes once the three of them all stand up and Sam stands towering over the 10-year old Jacob Black.

He's not been feeling well lately, his body aches all over, he's had a fever, major headache, sinuses burn, ears ache and his body seems oddly too small. It was supposed to be a simple bug that would pass in a few days; at least that's what his mother had said. Well things could always be worse, he could be in his room alone and miserable. Sam lets out a deep groan of satisfaction as he feels her hands massaging the muscles in his back and shoulders. The pressure she's applying relaxes him and releases the tension in his body.

"You sound like some old dog the way you're groaning." Leah giggles as she uses her entire weight to work on the knot in Sam's left shoulder blade. He smiles at the sound of her giggle and shifts his back up, encouraging her to move down lower. "Yea, yea, you slave driver." Leah teases.

There was a moment in time where Sam was frightened that he'd lose Lee-Lee; that someone else would come in and take her away from him. He's been really lucky and he thanks God every night for blessing him with a girl as wonderful as Leah. It took a while to get Leah to start actually taking a serious interest in him but he kept up the hard work and is now reaping the reward. He treats her like the beautiful princess that she is, there's nothing that he wouldn't do for her and to anyone that dared hurt her. She was his Lee-Lee and no one else's. She had taken his heart without realizing it and now he has her heart.

Sam tenses the moment he feels Leah's body shift, the springs in his mattress squeaking with her body's movement as she straddles his legs and begins massaging up his spine. Turning his head around to get a better idea of what is going on, he's greeted with a hand to the face.

"Turn around there, Tiger." Leah says pushing Sam's face back to facing forward. "No need to get any ideas." But it's already too late, there's already a seed that has been planted and it's growing. His mother is working, leaving the two of them alone, in his house, in his room and on his bed. Quickly he flips over to see a frowning Leah looking down at him. His eyes widen as he takes all of her in; her long hair that is hanging free, her soft hazel-colored eyes, her full lips, flawless skin. It's as if he's seeing her for the very first time and she's even more beautiful than he even remembered. His eyes take in the rich colors of her skin, hair, eyes and her clothes.

She's beautiful.

Sitting up his hands gently grip her hips, holding her in place as his eyes take in every detail about her. Something inside of him is cataloging every detail about the woman before him. His right hand slowly moves up lightly grazing her hips causing her to jump a little and he smiles at the reaction. He closes his eyes and inhales her sweet scent that reminds him of the ocean, the sweet salt and fruit, strawberries. He can hear her heart begin to race as his hand moves further up and runs up her neck.

"You smell so good, Lee-Lee." Sam breathes out as he buries his face into the crook of her neck.

"Sam," Leah breathes out and he places a soft kiss on her exposed neck. They've not had sex before, she wants to wait a little bit longer but right now she smells so good. Everything about her is drawing him in, making him delirious with desire.

"I know but," Sam whispers as his hot breath blows across her neck and he begins unbuttoning her flannel shirt, "I can't resist you. You, you're so beautiful, Lee-Lee. I just need to touch you, feel you," Sam continues as he pulls her shirt down off of her sleeves to reveal a simple tank top underneath. "I need to know what you taste like, Lee-Lee." Sam breathes out huskily before he captures Leah's lips with his own. There's an energy inside of him that he's never felt before and drives his adrenaline. She's his first and yet there's no awkwardness in his actions; he's being guided purely based upon instinct.

There's a gentile and loving tenderness to their love-making as their bodies move in sync. He plants kisses on every part of her flesh that he can reach; he's greedy in his desire to please her, satisfy her and show her that she means the world to him. At the back of his mind, there's a tiny voice telling him 'this is good-bye' but he chooses to ignore it. He has her now in the most intimate and personal of ways; he's waited for this moment ever since he hit puberty and he'd be a fool to let it go. She pants his name, her back arching, muscles tightening; nipples erect and begging for his attention as her warm, wet walls suck him in deeper and deeper.

"I love you, Lee-Lee." Sam breathes in her ear pressing her body deeper into the mattress. "You're so beautiful,"

You shouldn't do this.

"You're perfect."

This is it.

Sam ignores the voice, digging deeper, trying to bypass it and give his all to the beautiful girl beneath him. The voice continues on with a saddened wisdom to it as Sam finally hits his breaking point; Sam and Leah both cum together falling in a heap, their limbs entangled, breathes mixed and hearts beating as one – and then the rhythm is gone.

She's not yours to have. Let her go before it's too late.

"Thank you, Lee-Lee." Sam pants out, rolling to his side and taking her with him. She chuckles at his attempt at pillow talk and kisses his chest lightly before snuggling into his side. They lay together in comfortable silence and Sam ponders over why he had said 'thank you' when what he really wanted to say was, 'I love you, Lee-Lee' again. By the time he works up the…ability? To say the words, she's already asleep beside him and he hugs her close, gently stroking her hair and enjoying the moment.

The feeling never leaves him; that he's made some grave mistake that will tear his whole world apart. His gut keeps telling him that he's stolen something that was never his to have. Things seem to come to light as Sam phases for the very first time and things make sense, or somewhat. He has a responsibility to his tribe, to those that have supported and guided him up until this point in his life and to protect all of those that he loves. He loves Lee-Lee and yet, that quiet voice is louder now and it warns him to steer clear of her.

Dangerous.

Not ours.

Stay away.

The command rings loud and clear but he chooses to ignore it. He refuses to pay any attention to the small voice because there is nothing in this world that means more to him than Lee-Lee. She's always stayed by his side and he won't leave her now. He's not like his father; he can't just walk away from the best thing that has ever happened to him in his life. In the end, it's not enough because he loses her still nonetheless. She's not even taken away from him as it's more like he's taken away instead. His soul bonds itself to his Lee-Lee's cousin and all the hopes, dreams and best-laid plans for his, their life are over.

The voice inside of him tried to convince him that Leah was never his to have, to hold and, especially, not to love. He didn't want to listen and he paid the ultimate price; it was like he was reaching for a star. A star that when he finally got close enough to touch it, the structure that he made to reach it simply melted under the heat. It aggravates him to think about the one who was meant for his Lee-Lee, the one who has always been by her side and has always been her friend, Jacob Black.

Coming through the trees in the Clearwater backyard, Sam stops just within the tree line noticing Seth trudging over towards the picnic bench that sits off to the side. The young man's shoulders are slumped, his eyes look tired and there's an air of defeat about him. Sam remains still as Seth asks to sit down and join the rest of the 'Renegades'; it's a word that seems to fit the bunch nicely. A rogue alpha that, against all odds and common sense, imprints on a half-vampire child, abandons his family and friends all for the sake of a woman that would never and could ever return his feelings. Jacob stood against everything that has been destiny up until this point. Sam wonders if Jacob will continue the exact opposite of what is expected of him.

"So you do know something." Jacob's voice breaks in and draws in Sam's attention. His body tenses as he awaits the answer; if there's anyone else beside the men already surrounding Rachel Meraz than it's Sam Uley.

A/N: Well this idea just suddenly hit me on my way home from work. There's a much longer part to Sam's take on this whole situation that I'll post in the next couple of days. Wow! I already hit over 400 reviews! W00T! W00T! I just gotta say a huge major THANK YOU to everyone for taking time out of your day to read AND review my story. It really means a lot to me when you guys tell me what you think and feel about my story. The only downside to the reviews is that they bring other ideas to the forefront of my mind. So it gives me a lot to work and expound on which I feel makes this story all the better.

But GUESS who got some noms on the JBNP site!

CAN I GET A 'HELL YEA!'

This story has got noms for: Best Blackwater story (along with my fellow WILF girl Cucumber07 for Blackout AND It All Started With a Promise), Best Leah, Best Paul (don't know how, but damnit I'LL TAKE IT!) AND Best Seth!

And I also got Best Embry for Worth Waiting For.

OH! And hilja got Canine Comedians for Your Body Is a Wonderland.

T-T You all have NO idea how much it means that someone even THOUGHT to throw my name in the mix. My next goal is Best Erotica! I need to up the anty on my lemons...but how? Restraint still makes me blush but that's going to be my goal! But I suggest everyone taking time and reading the rest of the noms as well since they are all such great stories, written by great authors.

An update in the polls out of 65 votes (which means that there's still quite a few of you that aren't reviewing. Just saying):

29/65 - Are shooting for a Blackwater story with love, romance, forgiveness and possibly a lemon? Eh? Eh? Sure Jake is an idiot. Sure he's taken advantage Leah for granted but doesn't love sometimes need some kind of struggle along the way to make it all worthwhile? Jacob can redeem himself, damnit! And when he does that sexy John (damnit, I did it again) is going to get his ass kicked by the REAL Alpha.

17/65 - Have found their hearts being held in the huge, strong, determined and understanding John. You have fallen into the sea of his calm, cool gray eyes. He's sensitive and yet he has that strong, sexy masculine side. John won't just roll over and let an injustice go by unpunished. Oh, but you'd gladly roll over him, won't you? Yea, I know you will.

7/65 - Are still keeping your butts planted on that fence. There's an angry, shirtless Jacob Black on one side that's just itching to bitch slap Renesmee. And you all tingle with excitement. While on the other side is the calm, (also) shirtless John who is beckoning you all with his mature attitude and reluctant smile. But oh no! NO! You ladies will not be swayed...just yet. Although, I'm certain that at some point or another you'll be tempted to either put a toe down on one side of the fence or at least add another part to the fence just to be closer to the alpha of your choice.

4/65 - Say, 'Pfft, forget the two "J's". I've got my eye on another wolf in the pack. Whether it's the ever cocky and smart-ass Paul Meraz, who's thin lips and smirk have you running for a new pair of panties. Or maybe it's the other Paul, whose playful, over-confident and a shameless flirt. I've heard there's an interest in Gio, the gentle giant, of the Canadian pack who will gladly let you sit in his lap as he holds you, whispering sweet little words to you and promises to be gentle...if you want him too. Hehehehe.

4/65 - Say, 'Pfft, forget Leah. I'll solve this problem of whose the better alpha, myself.' You four will gladly take on the responsibility of figuring out whose the 'bigger and better' man. After all, someone has to be willing to the do the dirty work. And none of you mind getting down and dirty with these two sweaty sexy alphas. Maybe a little bit of chocolate, whip cream, a little bit of rope and a leash. oO? Too much? Oh...alright, I'm sorry. But the point is...you'll do this for all the girls out there! YOU'RE SO SELFLESS! YOU'RE MY HERO!

3/65 - Still don't care who wins because either way...you're getting yourself a wolf in the end. You three by now have towels, buckets, lotions and oils just ready and waiting for the impending end game. Your patience is a sign of your merit. I salute you!

1/65 - Oh, bless you. Bless you. There's so much hotness, anger, aggression, need for dominance and half-naked, muscular torsos all around that you don't even know where to begin. Looks are one thing but you're possibly looking for something deeper? Jacob has the history but John is making a brighter...future...possibly? You don't know and you're scared to guess. There's so many fish in the sea and so many glorious options. But you're going to wait. Wait and see Kei has planned...quietly, hoping that she won't let you down. *pats your back* It's okay; if I do than I give you full right to bash me for 5 minutes! But that's it!

So as I said this came up at the last minute...but, BUT if you guys can give me 40+ reviews or more I'll post the next chapter on Sunday. Yea, I'm bribing you guys. *shrugs shoulders* This is a one-time only so don't think that I'm blackmailing you and I'll keep this up. But I trust you guys will do it before I lay my head down tomorrow night. ^-^ Love you all!