Recollections Pt. 2
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters as they do belong to Stephanie Meyer. I do, however, own the Canadian characters and, sadly, the new imprints. Especially John who was taken from me *eyes begin to well up with tears* IF you find him…please return him to me. T-T
She's standing calmly, head down, thumb quickly and skillfully scrolling through the different apps on her smart phone. There's a khaki go-bag slung across her chest, the strap sitting snugly between her breasts and he can't help wondering if she's forgone wearing panties as well as a bra? Her wild hair has been brushed out, all tangles and knots gone. There's a soft curl at the ends of her hair and along with the fresh cut it all frames her face perfectly.
A truck speeds by and the gust of it passing causes her light brown dress to billow up revealing more of her long legs. He groans with a deep hunger for the olive-colored legs and for a moment a memory fills his head of them once being wrapped around his waist; holding him close, painfully pushing him in deeper inside of her. A sharp pain hits him in the temple and his longing for the past is over – the imprint acting as a severe migraine.
Leah.
The name alone evokes so many emotions within Sam that it always leaves him feeling lightheaded. There are thoughts, memories, promises, words, feelings and a strong presence about Leah that has always affected him. Once upon a time she was his everything; his world, his past, present, future, dream, his reason for trying and more. Before there was Emily, wolves, legends, rival alphas and Cold Ones; there was just Sam and Leah. She's the reason why he's able to sit just on the edge of the tree line and dissect every person's expressions and feelings. He's, inadvertently, watched them all for the purpose of looking out for her.
Sam lets out a heavy sigh. He knows that his actions have long since crossed the line into an obsessive compulsion that has forever pulled him back to Leah. She was like a drug, an addictive drug that took his mind, body and soul to a different plane of existence that nothing else could come close to. Just one hit was never enough for Sam; he always needed more and more of Leah.
Even after their break-up when Leah turned her back on him, which was expected and Emily he couldn't stop thinking about her, missing her and having the urge to be around her. Imprinting was about finding one's soul mate, that's what Emily was supposed to be, but then why was he still drawn to Leah? This has been a question that Sam has never been able to come up with an answer for. He had tried to wean himself off of Leah Clearwater. He watched her from afar, when she left for school he was there and instead of waiting for her to come out after school, he'd instead be in the Clearwater backyard. Eventually, he'd work himself down to only seeing her off to school and then not at all – that was plan. However, fate had something else planned.
Somehow Leah had figured out that Sam was still 'looming over her' and confronted him about it. He had felt certain that he was over Lee-Lee but then she showed up in all her beautiful, worked-up glory. The sight of her had two effects on Samuel Uley: (1) he found his breathe taken away by her fiery beauty and spirit and (2) he was scared shitless of her rage. Sam has always found it hard to explain but when Leah was involved, getting angry with her was next to impossible. The wolf spirit inside of him couldn't work up the nerve to stand up against the small woman. Both man and spirit both rolled over taking Leah's assaults with flattened ears and tucked tail. Sam chalked it up to his guilt for hurting the only woman he ever truly loved. The wolf inside him, however, knew because she possessed a power within her that was not his to control.
Taking a deep breath, Sam decides to come out of his hiding place and confront the beauty before him. Casting one quick look, Sam finds Leah's attention still focused on her small phone, the white cord of her earphones standing out as a stark contrast with the earthy tones of her skin, clothing and scenery around her. Ducking low, Sam maneuvers through the trees and bushes coming out about 500 yards down the street from his previous position.
Taking a deep breath after fixing his clothing he begins walking down the street. Hands stuffed down deep in his pockets, he never takes his eyes off of her. Despite all the history between them, the moments that they've shared and those that were stolen; Sam always finds himself feeling the same way about Leah as he did before they started dating. Somehow the small woman always made him feel small, insecure, anxious and self-conscious. No matter how many times he tells himself it's ridiculous for him to feel this way, nothing ever changes. She knows everything about him and that makes her the most powerful person in his life.
Knowledge is power.
He freezes for a moment as she looks up and sees him only about 30-ft away. Sam's brow furrows as he realizes that he's stopped breathing; she's taken his breathe away – again. There's a small frown on her face as she looks back at him; her gaze making him feel like some goofy pre-teen at his first school dance. If he approaches her and asks her to dance, will she say 'yes' or 'no'? Will she laugh in his face? Or completely brush him off?
"Are you stalking me or what?" Leah asks, her voice sounding bored with his presence already.
"Uh," The only word that he's able to articulate. He curses himself mentally and his body begins to slowly relax and move. He wasn't aware that he'd frozen still like he would if he was out hunting in the woods.
"Aren't you a little far from home?" Leah asks unplugging her ears. Sam swallows the lump in his throat as she casually tosses her hair back and lets the buds sit in between her cleavage.
"Uh…I, I heard you were going away for a while." Sam says stopping a few feet shy of Leah.
"Yea, my great aunt is ill and I've been nominated to aid in the 'healing' process." Leah states with a small smile and roll of her eyes. "She believes me to be some magical being, able to heal wounds and some other medicine woman mumbo jumbo, like that."
"Does she know?" Sam asks as his body tensing and his eyes narrow into small slits. His question although vague, is very specific as well and Leah simply laughs, shaking her head.
"No, she, my great Aunt Emma, has always said that there was magic in my voice. That I have the power to heal others with it." Sam only nods his head. Silently, he agrees with Aunt Emma's statement. There is magic in Lee-Lee's voice; she always found some way to heal him. But, she also could use the same magic to hurt those around her as well; that's personal experience speaking. Leah has healed Sam's heart one last time, in a way. She had told him a few years back that she was 'over him' and that he should live his life with Emily. She was sincere in her speech and that helped ease the pain and guilt but there was a clear, unspoken understanding that he was not to expect her to be an active member within his life.
Beggars can't be choosers.
He's grateful that she's managed to still be a small player in his life, or more like his son's life. Leah looks out for all of the wolves' kids as if they were her own. And for that, they all adore her and Sam knows it's the closest glimpse that he'll ever get of 'what could've been'.
"How long are you going to be gone?" Sam asks looking down at his feet to avoid the impending glare.
"Not that it's any of your business but a week. Jake already knows." Leah adds and Sam fights back the growl that is threatening to rumble forth from his chest. Of course, he knows because it's his business to always know anything and everything about Leah.
"You don't mind if I wait here with you, do you?" Sam asks looking up carefully at Leah. His answer comes in the form of a shrug and 'it's a free country'. He sucks in his lips to hide the huge smile that is threatening to come out as he leans against the wall of the shelter and one foot crossed over in front of the other.
The pair waits in a comfortable silence on the main road to La Push. There's a small structure, the unofficial La Push 'bus stop' on the 110 La Push Rd, made of wood that seems to sit out in the middle of nowhere. A few of the boys on the Rez built it sometime back to provide some form of shelter along the long stretch of road. The area was a pick up for those picking up friends without having to drive too far into the territory. Thus explains why Leah was out here waiting; Sue would pick her up from here and the pair would continue on to Colorado by way of the 101.
The music from Leah's phone plays in the background as an unobtrusive soundtrack to the gentle gusts of wind, the leaves and bracken swaying in the forest. A car drives by and honks it horn in passing. Leah throws a quick wave and Sam nods his head as he catches the hard, disapproving glare of the driver and his passenger. Sam is certain that did he not have heightened senses; he would've never noticed the looks.
Things had certainly changed since the pack split that has now put these two, once lovers, on different sides. Leah was no longer seen hanging around Sam but spending most, if not all, of her time with Jacob Black. The general consensus seemed to be that Leah Clearwater had moved on with her life and was no longer hung up over Sam Uley. Instead, it was viewed as the opposite had been occurring. It was Sam that was trying to keep Leah all for himself, using the death of her father, her familial bonds and tribal duties against her.
The twist on things meant that Sam was looked upon with the hard frowns, unforgiving whispers and disapproving glares. He tried telling himself to just ignore it all, not pay them any attention but the truth was – it was true. Sam had looked upon Leah's transformation as one last hoorah, his last stand in keeping his Lee-Lee. He had the rare opportunity to look inside her thoughts and feelings. He relished in the power and impact he had over her life. Her feelings and pain is what kept reminding him that at one time in his life, someone loved him for him and not because he was their son or their magical 'soul mate'.
That all changed when Leah followed Jacob and the tie that linked them was broken. Sam couldn't let go of his ego or his pride to give in and let Jacob rule all of the wolves. Now he was the one following her around, vying for her affection and attention, not letting go of something lost. It's this attitude that has allowed Sam to keep track of Leah, always knowing where she is or at least in La Push or leech territory. He knew it, she knew it, Jacob knew it, the Rez knew it; hell Emily probably knew it.
"So, uh, is your aunt from which side of the family?" Sam asks hoping to engage Leah into a conversation.
"She's on my dad's side," Leah answers turning the volume up on her phone. Sam looks down at the ground in between them. There's a hint of sadness in her eyes at the mentioning of anything related to Harry Clearwater. Even after all of these years the pain of his death hasn't left her. The one thing Sam Uley has ever envied Leah for is her close relationship with her father. His father left when he was only 8-years old and never remembered much of the man; except that he had big hands, hands that seemed to swallow his own little hand. "She's Daddy's aunt and probably one of only a small handful of Quileutes who'd actually remember Ephraim, Levi and the rest." Leah finishes up snatching Sam out of his quiet memories.
"Leah, I'm," Sam begins and finds himself stuck on what to say next. Was he going to apologize? Apologize for what? Wanting to suddenly hug her, hold her in his arms and shield her from life's pain? He knows that she'd never accept it as he's played a major role in her pain. Was he going to profess the true feelings of his heart? She'd only laugh in his face and he'd walk away with a hurt ego and migraine.
Before Sam can sort through his jumbled mind and feelings of what to say, Leah's phone rings. All thoughts are gone the moment he catches the small smile on her face as she answers it with a, "Hey Jake." The moment his name is said Sam's body immediately tenses; the casual stance he had taken against the structure facing the road is gone. Sam immediately stands up to his full height, his brow furrows, frown deepens and he faces Leah body; his eyes watching her every movement, closely, intently.
"No, Mom hasn't shown up yet. I keep telling her to get a cell but she won't budge." Jacob says something on the other end that causes Leah to smirk. "Well, fortunately, some people listen to me."
Sam's eyes narrow as Leah begins slowly rocking her hips side-to-side, the small smile on her face and the way her fingers lightly rub up and down on the strap across her chest.
"No, Jake," Leah sighs sounding exasperated. Her head lulling back as she looks up towards the sky, or rather the roof of the depot. The smile is gone replaced with a small pout?
Since when does Leah Clearwater pout over Jacob Black?
"Just stay there with Nessie," Leah sneers. Sam feels some sort of satisfaction in the fact that his imprint isn't the only one to aggravate Leah. "I think I can stand at the depot by myself without someone here holding my hand." Leah states with a sigh. "I'm not alone," There is more talking on the other line as Leah turns and looks at Sam with frustration in her eyes. "Sam here's waiting with me."
"Fuck, Lee-Lee," Sam hisses as his shoulders slump, his hands rest on his hips and he slowly shakes his head. Leah chooses to ignore Sam's slip of the tongue, watching slightly bemused as he runs a hand throw his shaggy hair before roughly rubbing the back of his neck. Telling Jacob Black that Sam Uley is anywhere near Leah Clearwater only invites trouble. When the younger kids are bored and want to see a fight break out all they have to do is figure out where Leah, Jacob and Sam are. If the first two aren't together than there's only a matter of time before Jacob is storming across the Rez trying to find the two.
"He's not even bothering me." Leah states in Sam's defense. "He's actually behaving himself. Look don't growl at me; fine you talk to him than." Leah snaps as she turns and walks up towards Sam with a smug smirk on her face. "It's for you." Leah says sweetly and innocently but the glint in her eyes says otherwise.
Sam's jaw clenches as he glares down at Leah and she places the phone next to his ear. All he hears on the other end is a low growling and he answers back with one of his own. Their interaction is like that of a dog having a phone held to his ear; he can hear the person on the other end but the contraption has no real meaning or understanding. There's no scent or view of the person that is on the other line and he only remains fixed in his position to satisfy the fancy of the foolish human.
"Well turns out he doesn't want to talk to you either." Leah says taking the phone back and widening the gap between them.
"Well if he knew what was good for him, he'd not even be here." Jacob says coming out of the woods behind them. It's a threat that isn't lost upon Sam and despite the fact the wolf inside of him is begging him to back off, the human stubbornly keeps his ground.
The two males exchange their silent greetings with annoyance, frustration, aggression and dominance. The battle of egos is over the moment Leah declares the victor by leaning into Jacob the moment the distance between them is closed. Sam breaks eye contact first, his focus settled on the content smile on Leah's face as Jacob wraps his arm around her waist. His nostrils flare as realization dawns on him,
Leah's fallen for Jacob.
It's a realization that acts as a punch to the gut, followed up with a knee to the groin and just because he's already down and you have to make sure the job is done, a kick to the face. His brain tries to analyze the situation before him, there's some small part of him trying to convince him that he's overreacting. That's there's nothing wrong with the scene before him.
They're just friends.
Sam tries to convince himself as he shifts his position so that his back is pressed up against the shelter's wall and he's facing the pair. Jacob comments on Leah's dress earning a slight blush that only leads to laughter. Confusion begins to build at the alpha and beta's interactions for both man and wolf. Both are aware that the male has an imprint, a soul mate, and yet he's able to interact with her freely.
Over time the black wolf has grown accustomed to the position of alpha; it's not the role he was meant to play or even wanted but it has become his life. Hostility has risen between the black and russet wolf that stems beyond the men's own bad blood. The russet wolf gave up his claim on the female and yet he still has the audacity to treat her as if she belonged to him. The female should belong to him, the black wolf, and, originally, did belong to his human before some higher power decided otherwise. The man has tried to challenge the russet wolf but the black wolf knows that they cannot win against the 'true' alpha; self-preservation is the key.
Sam watches with unabashed jealousy as Jacob sits down on the ground and Leah, without hesitation, sits on his shoulder. Smart-mouth comments are exchanged between the pair about the arrangement.
"Just further proof that you, my dear Almighty Alpha, are beneath me." Leah says smugly as she gently combs her finger through Jacob's hair.
"So you say but just so long as I get to see them gorgeous legs of yours I don't care." Jacob states with a dark chuckle as Leah stomps on his thigh with her foot. "Sorry, sorry. Just don't fart on my shoulder." The comment causes Leah to blush as she yanks roughly on her Alpha's hair earning a groan of pain.
After some more smart-ass comments, insults and threats Jacob pulls Leah into his lap. Sam is hit with a sudden bout of dry-mouth as Jacob rests his chin on his Lee-Lee's shoulder. The two sit, seemingly, oblivious to the other man's deep growling as Jacob and Leah whisper to one another. Leah's back pressed firmly against Jacob's chest as she plays with his hands; a pastime that they, Sam and Lee-Lee, used to do together.
Sam can feel his chest constricting as if all of the air around him is being sucked away. Common sense is telling him to look away, to walk away from the situation; to not witness the pair's sweet and intimate interactions. But Sam finds himself locked in place, unable to look away as Jacob's hand lightly runs up and down Leah's leg; the way his hand can easily and casually grip her ankle before running up to her knee and back down again. Each touch is like a stab to his heart; Jacob wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her closer, rests the bridge of his nose on her shoulder, closing his eyes and inhaling her sweet scent. All of these small acts, a stark reminder of the opportunities he's lost and jealously wishes he could have again.
Sam is relieved as Sue's car pulls up and sharply orders her daughter into the car. Jacob stands up following Leah, his eyes softening as Leah tosses her bag in the back of the car. Sam also feels a sudden tug at his heart as the reality of the situation hits him.
Leah is leaving.
Since the transformation Leah hasn't strayed no further than Port Angeles and that was always with someone from either pack. Now, she was leaving home, the state – she was crossing a couple. Both men are snapped out of their melancholy thoughts as Leah's light laughter cuts in; her smile brightening up the somber mood.
"Don't look so sad; I'll be back." Leah says turning to face both of them.
"One week." Jacob states. Sam watches as Leah nods her head in agreement with a small smirk. "One week and you be careful." Jacob finishes up, his voice sounding distant and grainy as he pulls Leah in for a tight hug.
The two hold onto one another, their bodies seeming to fit perfectly together as Jacob kisses the top of Leah's head. The pain in Sam's body continues as the wolf inside of him is mourning the absence of their Alpha female. The two males maybe rivals but it has done nothing to completely break the spiritual bond that they share. The russet wolf's pain and sorrow is his own. The two stand together watching as she gets in the car and disappears down the road. It's odd and yet feels strangely normal for the two to be standing together, Sam slightly to the back of Jacob, watching over his reaction as if ready to support him at any moment now that she's gone.
The silence is broken as Jacob's phone suddenly rings and he quickly snatches it out of his back pocket. Letting out a sigh, Jacob pushes a button silencing the ringing.
"Imprint," Jacob whispers as he stands looking at the black phone in his hand. "Let's just go home." Jacob says looking up at Sam and walking by him. The change in his mood and his uncaring attitude towards his imprint catches Sam completely off guard; so much to the point, that all he can do is follow behind Jacob. For a moment, Sam feels something deep inside of him; it's warm, all-encompassing and powerful, quietly rejoicing at the peace obtained between him and Jacob. There's that same quiet voice that has tried to guide his steps since the Cullens arrival, telling him that this is how things should've always been. There is no guilt or feelings of regret that he's made the wrong decision in taking the position of Alpha; after all he was only filling in to keep order.
Although the two have been at odds for a great deal of their lives, it cannot be overlooked that they share a common bond, a union. They are brothers in spirit, heritage and heart. They both love the same woman but she will only accept one as her lover and mate. There's no doubt in Sam's mind that if Leah had a choice she'd choose Jacob Black and he'd choose her. The two have always been there for one another, always in the background for every major event of their lives. And even when it seemed that their paths would diverge, there was still something that pulled them back together. There is still a bit of jealousy and animosity that Sam can't help but harbor for Jacob Black because things probably wouldn't be so chaotic had he not been so reckless and contrary to all expectations of him.
He sits silently watching the small pack's exchange with one another. Nothing escape his sharp eyes; whether its Rachel's nervous fidgeting, Quil's hard stare, Seth's crestfallen face, Embry's careful gaze on their Alpha and Jacob's slumped shoulders. He's always been observant and watching people is an art that he's perfected over the years. Sam sits watching closely, monitoring their movements and reactions. He raises an eyebrow as Quil throws a small package in the middle of the group on the table. Sam's mind begins to wander back to when all of this began; he wants to know when everything went wrong and they became a tribe divided.
All thoughts strangely lead back to Leah. Sam frowns as he tries to backtrack in his mind; Leah can't be the cause of all of their problems. Sure there would've been those that would've, without hesitation, pointed the finger at Leah blaming her attitude...but, that wasn't the case in the beginning. There was the initial surprise over Leah's transformation and yet, somehow, it all seemed to make sense. Leah's transformation was accepted without question by the, than, small pack. She had fallen right into step standing right next to Jacob as he was the last one to change.
'So the stories are all true?' Leah asks sitting down next to Jacob after Sam finished explaining the whole situation to her, Quil and Seth. Somehow all three phased one after another, throwing the small pack into a bit of chaos. Jared had just arrived back from checking up on Harry as he was sent to the hospital. Leah and Seth's concern for their father is still an underlying concern as what has prompted his heart condition is still a mystery. The three newest members of the pack have been in their wolf forms for 3-days now.
The initial transformation always brings about a moment of chaos, confusion and fear. No one can explain it but there are so many thoughts and emotions swirling around in one wolf's head that it's hard to pinpoint exactly who the new arrival is. The fact that three people phased all within a few minutes of another only compounded the problem more so. It's taken some time but everyone has calmed down; the colors have stopped swimming, emotions are no longer mixed and order has been restored.
Or some sort of semblance to it.
Sam sits across from the pack and cannot help but notice that somehow Jacob and Leah both are in the center. The others seemingly to be unknowingly flanking the pair that is sitting directly across from him. In the black wolf's view, it makes perfect sense for the alpha female to take her position next to the alpha male. The human, however, only sees the pack sitting in order of their transformation: Paul, Jared, Embry, Jacob, Leah, Quil and Seth.
'So…what this means the Cullens are really vampires?' Seth asks letting out a low whimper. Paul chuckles at the cub's slowly building fear but stops as Leah growls at him.
'Lay off, will ya. This is a lot to take in.' Leah huffs as she looks down at her and Jacob's paws. The others can see through Leah's eyes and thoughts her marveling at the difference in size.
'All the better to paw you with my dear.' Jacob teases earning a few chuckles. Sam watches closely as Leah swats Jacob with her own paw or rather attempts to. All that really happens is Leah places her paw roughly on Jacob's massive shoulder.
'So that means what?' Quil asks leaning over and using his back leg to reach a scratch.
'It means that it's our job to keep the stinking leeches off of our land.' Paul states proudly.
'Yea, but we've still got a truce with the Cullens.' Embry says softly as Jacob moves his head and Leah's paw hits the ground.
'There's a red-haired leech that's been crossing over into our territory.' Sam states as for some unknown reason a play fights erupts between Jacob and Leah. Sam groans as Seth watches excitedly and pounces on Quil adding to the raucous. The act seems to be an inherit reaction towards the transformation and borders on the lines of fighting for dominance or a higher position within the pack. They've all done it and Sam has been no exception; however, he has avoided challenging Jacob in the mock battle.
'Gotcha, Lee!' Jacob declares proudly as he stands over Leah licking her face. Seth also finds himself in the dirt with a triumphant Quil standing over him.
'Yea, yea.' Leah concedes rolling over to her belly.
'Did you really think you had a chance against the Alpha?' Quil asks as Leah gets back to her feet, shaking her fur.
'It was worth a shot.' Leah says with a poorly executed shrug. The comment leaves the seasoned wolves silent and frozen. There's a hint of apprehension, anxiety and expectation in the air around them. Sam quickly glances at Jacob, his thoughts having suddenly gone very quiet and his eyes seem to be having an internal debate.
'I'm not the Alpha.' Jacob breathes out after a moment of silence. There's a hint of alarm and surprise as the three newest wolves all turn to look at him. Seth cocks his head to the side as the idea rattles around inside his brain. Quil also seems to share in the confusion and lets out a low, deep groan; whether it's of disappointment, frustration or just plain acceptance is never addressed.
Its Leah, however, that holds both Jacob and Sam's attention. Her body completely frozen, fur raised along her spine and hackles, eyes darkening and the once contently wagging tail has now frozen. There is angry disbelief bubbling at the surface of her thoughts that the pack can easily see and hear. Her thoughts, very much like Jacob's earlier, are silent and there is the same debate visible within her eyes.
'Come again.' Leah says with forced patience. Quil, Seth and Embry all slowly move away from the pair simply upon instinct. Jacob hesitates repeating his statement as Leah turns to stand before Jacob. Her legs are stiff, chest puffed out and her lips are curled back in a menacing, silent snarl. Sam looks on silently, noting Leah's fighting stance that, despite her smaller size, she is very intimidating.
'I'm not the Alpha; Sam is.' Jacob answers unable to look at the female in front of him. The pair's emotions are now fully out in the open for the rest of the pack to share in. Leah lets out a low and painful whimper expressing her confusion, disappointment and hurt? While Jacob has guilt rolling off of him. Neither truly understanding why they feel the way that they do but since when has emotions been rational?
'Jacob! JAKE! Why?' Leah cries out and the whine in her voice grows as the small silver wolf before him voices it. 'You're Ephraim's heir; you're supposed to be Alpha.'
'I, I don't want to be the Alpha.' Jacob states as he wills himself to make eye contact with Leah.
'What do you mean you don't want to be the Alpha?' Leah demands. 'I wasn't aware there was a choice to just dump your birthright.' Leah states, her voice dripping with harsh sarcasm and her fangs gleaming in the light moonlight. 'So…what? I'm supposed to take orders from Sam?'
'He is the Alpha.' Paul states as his eyes seem to sparkle from the hostility in the air. For once he's not the cause of the discord and it's interesting to see it from this end.
'Oh no,' Leah says with a slight hysterical laugh. 'Oh no, nononononononono. Oh HELL NAH!' Leah growls out, shaking her head back and forth quickly. 'I am not going to follow Sam.' Her words cut Sam deeply as he visibly winces at the tone. The confusion continues to build as all of the wolves can sense the discord between the alpha pair; the russet wolf has refused not only his claim as alpha but over the female as well.
A small shiver of excitement shoots up the unrelated wolves' spine to the female. She's free to choose a mate rings inside at the back of their minds. The black wolf feels it more so and growls at the growing chaos around him. If the russet wolf will not step up and bring order than he will. He'll carry on and will prove to the female that he's a worthy Alpha and mate; the tugging of the imprint is duly noted but pushed aside – for the moment.
'Enough!' Sam orders. Standing up he prepares to move to get in between the two.
'NO!' Leah growls. 'I'm getting to the bottom of this. Why? Why can't you be the Alpha for like a few fucking months?' Leah demands. The question brings all eyes back onto Jacob as it is a very good question. 'We kill the bad freezer pop chick and we're done; it's over!'
The moment their eyes meet there's a flash of white skin, brown hair and chocolate eyes.
'WHO THE FUCK THAT IS THAT?' Leah demands as the image of girl flashes across her eyes.
'Oh shit, here it comes.' Paul mutters.
'Bella Swan.' Jacob states.
'WHO THE FUCK IS BELLA SWAN? Wait?' Leah says as she begins to share her own memories with the pack. 'Isn't that Charlie's kid? The freakishly pale, poorly coordinated, whiny retard?'
'SHE'S NOT A RETARD!' Jacob snaps as the fur on his hackles rises at the insult.
'Oh, you're right. I shouldn't insult the mentally handicapped like that. They have a condition while she's just a fucking moronic bitch who went all comatose and god-damn walking zombie because, because the some fucking poor-excuse-of-a-boyfriend left her pitiful ass.'
'Sam left your pitiful ass.' Jacob snaps and a collective 'ooh' erupts.
'You're right that Sam did leave my ass. But believe me Black, my ass for one, isn't pitiful. My ass is spectacular and that one sad, cheap feel you got over the summer is the closest you'll ever get to perfection.'
'No, way. I thought he made that up.' Quil thinks.
'She does have a great ass.' Paul thinks to himself but is still shared with the others.
'Secondly, my wonderful ass and I, did not and I repeat did not sit up in my room just staring at the blank wall like some mother-wanna-be-fucking, oh wait…vampire-wanna-be-fucking cunt-ass bitch.'
'Instead, you cried and threw a fit.' Jacob snarls back.
'Cried, yes, threw a fit, absolutely. But guess what? It wasn't the end of my fucking world or my existence.' Leah snaps back as she begins pacing back and forth in front of the wolves. 'If Sammie wants to fuck my cousin then so be it. I just don't want to be a part of it or even witness it.' Leah threatens as her cold, hard glare fixes on the black wolf. 'Life isn't fair, Black. So you suck it up, man up and face whatever freight train is coming.'
'Oh, yea, well I have a choice, Clearwater. And I choose not to be Alpha. Sam is – end of story!' Sam flinches as he feels a power behind Jacob's words that immediately shuts Leah up.
'Fine! If he's got a choice than so do I,' Leah says turning and facing Sam. 'Since, we get a choice of whether or not to follow our birthright than I choose to pass on mine as well.' Alarm is the only reaction to Leah's words. 'Fuck you and fuck you.' Leah says glaring at Sam and then Jacob flashing an image of the middle finger at both of them before turning to storm away.
'Can, can she do that?' Embry asks looking around at all of his brothers.
Sam groans as he comes out of his thoughts. Leah had tried to stop but he stepped in and forced her to join the pack. He used the Alpha command on her and the moment the words passed between them, he felt horrible. The black wolf knew that they had no right to order the Alpha Female around and did very little to try and cross her. However, considering the already strained relationship between the human male and female that was next to impossible.
Sam had tried to keep order within the pack. The pack had a taste of order and balance in those first few moments of the pack introduction and it was all snatched away ruthlessly with Jacob and Leah's argument. Sam continued working to keep the peace but things only continued to spiral more and more out of control. Leah could not be tamed and Jacob, simply, refused to listen.
Leah was an eternal dark cloud hanging over all of their heads. Her frustration at being at Sam Uley's beck and call turned her vicious and cruel. Blame was laid everywhere for…well, everything. Jacob didn't step up, Sam didn't step down, Paul wouldn't shut up, Jared was forever teasing, Embry was too damn quiet, Quil was a horny bastard and Seth was a fucking ball of furry sunshine.
Shutting his eyes tight, Sam tries to block out the old thoughts, feelings and memories of those days.
Was he the problem? Mainly, he wants to do away with those feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. Despite his father's history, Sam always strived to rise above it and be the better man than Joshua Uley.
Was it his relationship with Leah? Leah boosted his confidence even more just in the love she had for him; she was strong, supportive, caring, loyal and a fighter. Leah stood up for Sam when others would put him down or compare him to his father. He felt, correction, he knew he was the luckiest guy on the Rez to have Leah Clearwater by his side - which is why Leah couldn't be the entire problem. As daughters of Elders, Leah and the twins all carry with them a certain power and clout. As times have changed, each woman has the potential to hold a spot on the Council but the power is transferred to whomever they marry. A Uley-Clearwater union would solidify the heritage of Sam's descendants from the very moment Leah would say, 'I do'. It's not always a pleasant thought, that part of the reason for a relationship is for an added seat of power but it wasn't a realization that could not be overlooked either. Leah knew that some boys only talked to her because of the power that one could achieve by landing Leah Clearwater. In fact, that is part of the reason why the twins left the Rez; neither wanting to be caught up in an ego-driven farce-of-a-relationship.
Selfishly, Sam enjoyed Leah's snappish comments and cold attitude towards all males that dared approach her. He knew that in her eyes none of them were worthy of her and the simple idea only succeeded in stroking Sam's ego; he has been the only one worthy of her. Leah dating, however, was a serious blow to the ego which only left a raw wound. The more guys she dated, the more tender the wound became as a reminder that whatever affections Lee-Lee had were long gone.
Or maybe it's been Jacob? The wound was further irritated by the continued presence of one Jacob Black. Sam couldn't understand nor explain it but despite the growing animosity between Leah and Jacob; she still chose to follow him. Jacob Black had an imprint, Bella's daughter, and yet he still was forever around Lee-Lee, his Lee-Lee. When Leah started dating there was a brief moment of hostility between the two packs; Sam can't explain it but everyone seemed to be on edge the moment word got out. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, not everyone acted on the growing aggression except for the two alphas.
Jacob had warned Sam to stay away from Leah and Sam had responded back with a comment about Jacob not keeping a better watch over her. The comment led to another and the two went back and forth; each vying for the right to lay claim to Lee/Lee-Lee. The end result was a fight where Jacob, of course, came out as the victor.
Neither male ever truly understood what prompted the battle or what even they were trying to accomplish. All Jacob earned, in his mind, was the right to gauge and size-up each of Leah's 'boyfriends' thereby deciding whether or not they were worthy of his Lee. None of them ever were. The truth being a smug realization that lasted only for a moment as anxiety would step in and the question of 'who' would be worthy of her would take over.
The question of who would hold Leah's heart has also weighed on Sam. In the back of his mind and in his gut, he's always known the answer.
Jacob.
Opening his eyes, they narrow as Sam glares darkly at his Alpha's back. Jacob has always had Leah by his side and he took her for granted. Leah was everything for Jacob and did anything for Jacob. For a while, he did the same for her. On the Rez, one was never without the other and if so it was never for long. They just complemented one another and seeing them interact was just – natural. A thought hits Sam, acting as an epiphany, 'natural'. There was always a natural order to things and when one goes against the order there is chaos, confusion, disorganization and dissension. He's always wanted to keep order and balance; after his father left it was Sam's job to keep order within his own home. His mother wasn't always strong enough to deal with the pain and loss of her husband. Is this what Sam was meant to do? To help Jacob keep order within the pack? If Jacob can find balance will it bring Leah back? Will it put all of their lives back on track? Were their lives off track? Had they all grown so accustomed to the disorder that they wouldn't recognize order if it came up and introduced itself?
Help him.
The small quiet voice of wisdom echoes inside the back of his mind. It's not a suggestion, pleading or even sage advice - it's an order. Letting out another frustrated groan Sam concedes to the voice; he'll finally listen to it and see what comes of following this voice.
A/N: Alright so here goes the next update. I gotta admit that this isn't my favorite chapter out of the entire story...it may in fact be my least favorite. Maybe it's because Sam isn't a total ass. Yes, Ses, yes I do feel your pain. Blackwater fans are supposed to loathe Sam but he's coming off as so...ugh, damn him. But, I didn't hit my 40+ reviews for the last chapter meaning that my bribe didn't work or just that everyone is busy enjoying (in the States) the Labor Day weekend. Which I will not begrudge anyone but I also know that school has officially started so some people will fall behind.
But...I think I'm done with Sam for a while. Next chapter will get back to where we last left Rachel and the Renegades along with a bit of Leah and John. I just need to finish up on the polish work for the next chapter (as long as I don't get roped into some sort of family outing) and should have it ready for...either Monday or Tuesday. Preferably, Monday because the next DVD for True Blood comes on Tuesday and I'll be spending my evening watching that with my sis. Then again...my niece has started playing soccer...and I'm supposed to help her with her kicking, blocking, trapping, passing and dribbling. I'm hoping that the coach will have read up on the game soccer before her next practice. It's no fun having nine 3-4 yr old throw soccer balls at you and you're the only one working with them.
So...uh, yea, that's all that I got right now. Now if I catch me a nap now, that should allow me to be well-rested to go see the fireworks with the family and like 5 other toddlers. -_-; Which will give me time to stay awake and keep on playing Final Fantasy XIII. =3 Ah, there's nothing more glorious than a 3-day weekend.