Unconditional Love

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.

Rachel continues sitting looking from one pair of dark eyes to another; each demanding to know what information they have for their missing female. The only sets of eyes that jab at her heart the most are, of course, those of Jacob and Seth; both of their eyes carrying a hint of desperation to them and a need to know where Leah is. Mentally, she's kicking herself for not getting the hell out of dodge when she had the chance. Sure, she's a grown-ass woman but that didn't seem to mean anything to Sue Clearwater. If word got out that the boys knew where Leah was at there would be hell to pay. HELL!

But then there's also the matter of Leah, herself. Leah was the combination of both of her parents, the tribe-oriented, loyal Harry and the out-spoken, no-nonsense Sue. Leah had sworn Rachel to secrecy about her whereabouts. Rachel wasn't supposed to say anything about her disappearance to any members of the pack. "Not even Paul." That was her stern command and even though Rachel wasn't a wolf, she felt the urge to obey it. At least the guys were taking the knowledge that Rachel knew of Leah's new home fairly well. Paul blew up at her, the two argued and yelled at one another. Paul was angry because it meant that Rachel had been lying to him about Leah stopping by to check up on her while he was away at work. He had thought that if anything happened to Rachel while he was away that Leah would know what to do – and she would but she wasn't there. They had, in a sense, agreed to disagree; Rachel apologized for lying to Paul about Leah and Paul would…well, that was still a work in progress.

"There are five of them, right?" Quil asks snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. Quickly she looks up at him, eyes wide and shocked. The others also look to Quil as he sits calmly but there's a definite fire in his eyes. "Five guys or pack mates. Twins, too, right?" Quil continues on pushing, cheek resting against a closed fist.

"How do you know that?" Rachel asks suspiciously not liking the look in Quil's eyes.

"A little bear told me or more like showed me." Quil states, his frowning deepening as he tosses an envelope up on the table. The envelope lands with solid thud, drawing all eyes to it and there's a moment hesitation. Rachel quietly curses under her breath as Jacob reaches out and snaps up the envelope before she does. Opening it up, he realizes that it's filled with photos and the first photo on top causes him to freeze.

Leah.

Looking at the picture, Jacob sees Leah smiling back up at him; the warmth of her smile and happiness touching him in a way that he's missed for all these months now. She's waving at the camera, a hand held up by her ear keeping her hair out of her face and the other raised just a bit below her chin. Jacob eyes it carefully, soaking up all the details; her hair is longer. Her eyes are shining with that glimmer of victory or pride; like she's accomplished something. Jacob gives his own half-hearted crooked smile back at her, he's proud of her for accomplishing whatever it was that she had set out to do, and he wishes he could hear her laughter that he knows accompanies the picture.

Putting the picture down, he moves on to the next and finds another picture of Leah. She's distracted in this picture, her head is turned looking away, giving the camera a look at her profile. Her full lips turned down into a slight pout, eyebrows raised in a curious questioning or wondering and her shoulders lax. She's sitting on a fence in a pair of jeans and black tank top. Jacob continues looking through the pictures, one by one of his beta, the woman he, admitting too late, loves and is somewhere with someone else. His chest constricts as he can't help but wonder who is taking all of the pictures. Even though he is grateful for a glimpse of her, there is still that jealousy that he's not there watching and experiencing all of these events that are unfolding with her.

Seth smiles at each picture of his sister, happy to see that she's safe and sound in every single one. He fights back a whimper as he notices the brightness in her eyes, even when she's obviously annoyed with someone; gone is the tired and forced feelings of content. A huge, dry lump forms in his throat as he thinks about how he continually ignored the emptiness in her eyes.

She's happy. Seth can't help but notice.

Embry looks at each picture and tries to ignore the numbing ache that reminds him that his heart is not his own. Every picture of the woman he loves, smiling happily is a painful reminder of the opportunity lost. He's grateful that she allowed him the little bit of intimacy that they shared the night he told her of his feelings; it was the greatest make-out session he'd ever experienced.

Rachel looks at the pictures over Jacob's shoulder and finds it hard to stop smiling at the woman in them. Leah's smile has always been contagious; a trait that she shares with her brother. Rachel recalls once joking with Leah that she'd make a great therapy wolf for the old, young, sick and dying at a hospital. The two women laughed at the idea of a silver wolf the size of a horse trying to maneuver past EKG machines and not trip over IV tubes. Some poor soul's life support machine would become unplugged or worse, some pervert would die of a heart attack the moment she phased just to get in without, supposedly, causing more damage. Rachel's vision becomes blurry as she comes upon the realization that she misses her best friend so much. Leah's her sister, the only one that'll talk to her, go shopping with her and will eat that bit of food that Rachel knows she shouldn't have.

Quil watches as the group looks at the pictures closely. He stopped by Makah to pick Claire up from school and bring her back to La Push for the weekend; it made patrolling easier when he knew that Claire was surrounded by the rest of the pack. She had come running out the doors, her eyes dancing with excitement and a huge smile upon her beautiful face. Claire had given him a big hug before jumping in the backseat of his car, fastening her seatbelt and desperately began rummaging through her backpack. Quil watched his little 'Claire-bear' in the rearview mirror heading towards the Clearwaters as she pulled out a huge manila envelope. He couldn't help but watch with amused curiosity as she tore into the package as if it was Christmas morning; her eyes shining with tears and excitement as she uncovers a book. He recognized it as a scrapbook, Leah had started scrape booking as a hobby and the realization made him suddenly break.

It wasn't easy getting the information out of Claire but eventually she relented and told Quil where she got the book from. Claire weakly stated that Auntie Leah didn't want anyone else to see her book but Claire and the rest of the kids…and Rachel. But during her long winded explanation she'd let it slip that Jacob, Eli, David, Jared and Sam had all looked at the first book. As she continue prattling on during the drive she talked about how much she missed her Aunt Leah as slow, fat tears rolled down her red cheeks.

"I miss her a lot, Quil. So much." Claire's voice continued ringing in Quil's head as the image of Claire vainly trying to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

There wasn't a return address on the envelope but Quil had managed to sneak the extra photos away from Claire when she wasn't looking. Leah always kept duplicates of pictures, in case she cut one wrong, or wanted to pass on to someone else. All that really matters to him, however, is stopping Claire's tears; while the wolf inside him wants the female back to restore balance.

Quil's eyes narrow for a second the moment he catches Jacob's body tense and his brow furrows.

Good, he's seen the new pack.

Quil hasn't been able to identify each member of the pack but just by their sheer size it's easy to tell who the alpha is out of the lot. Jacob lets a low, deep and angry snarl escapes his lips as his eyes shoot up and lock onto Quil's. The anger is a given but there's an even darker look inside of Jacob's eyes that makes Quil quickly break eye contact and look towards the others at the table. Seth and Embry are both confused on what has brought about their Alpha's rage but have a good idea of what it could be. Rachel's eyes have widened and her mouth is hanging slightly open in a small 'oh'.

"Is this him?" Jacob demands. Quil feels his stomach clench tightly and his body feel suddenly cold at the rage and unfamiliarity in his cousin's voice. For a moment, Quil regrets bringing this to the group's attention as the picnic table begins to tremble around and under them.

Jacob looks down at the picture of Leah with five other guys. It's the man in the center that has the hairs on the back of his neck standing up and his teething grinding. He's the tallest of the pack, standing in the center surrounded by the others. At a glance, it's obvious that he's confident, serious and expects respect – a real alpha. Up until now, Jacob and the wolf inside of him had never seen another alpha before; Sam was a substitute that the human allowed to continue playing his charades all for the sake of their female. If they had only claimed their female than reuniting the packs would not have been an issue because the boundaries would've been clearly defined and the wolf would've handled the black wolf if he felt the need to touch that which wasn't his.

Jacob quickly assesses each member of the pack trying to find any noticeable weaknesses within their human forms. They were all muscular, lean build except for the one with the deep russet colored skin, that one was sheer bulk and muscle. One was small compared to wolf standards and neither man nor wolf can tell if it's because the smallest male is younger or has reached his full height. Jacob's nostrils flare as he commits each smiling male face to memory; these are his targets, his enemies and the alpha is his rival.

Putting the picture down to allow the rest to see what they're up against he directs his attention to Rachel. Rachel's anxiety is now spilling forth from her to the point that he can taste her fear; hear her blood rushing and two heartbeats pounding desperately. If he was sitting close enough to her, he'd be able to feel the baby inside of her belly kicking and jumping expressing to its mother the adrenaline that is being shared between the two. It's too much for the baby at the moment.

Rachel's thoughts rush wondering what should be done. She's confused and, for the first time in the history of her existence, she's afraid of her brother. There hasn't been much that Jacob has been denied since becoming an alpha; Leah has been the only one to tell him 'no' without receiving any sort of aggression.

The phone rings breaking the quiet and immediately there's the rumbling of tiny feet moving quickly. Rachel looks over her shoulder with a small smile as Alex topples over one of his toys in his mad dash to answer the phone. He's only 5-years old but he has it in his mind that answering the phone is some rite of passage to becoming a 'big boy'. Drying off her hands Rachel slowly moves towards the phone and tries to fight back the growing smile as Alex moves closer and closer.

"NO, MOMMY!" Alex yells from the hallway as he's suddenly in sight of his target. "I'LL GET IT! LET ME! LEMME!" Alex screams desperately as his words run together in his excitement.

"Alright, alright." Rachel says with a loving smile as she throws her hands up in mock surrender.

"Hello, Alex speaking." Alex gasps out in between breathes. Rachel goes back to finishing the dishes; it's Alex's 5th birthday today and many people have been calling to wish him a happy birthday. There will be no party this year with all of the vampire/wolf goings-on but Alex seems perfectly fine with that arrangement. "AUNT LEAH!" Alex screams excitedly as Rachel freezes and whips her head around. Alex is standing, more like bouncing up and down excitedly on the balls of his feet. His dark brown eyes shining full of excitement, joy and unconditional love for the woman on the other line. "Mommy, Mommy its Aunt Leah and she's singing happy birthday to me!" Alex whisper-screams as he pulls the receiver away from his mouth.

Rachel finds herself frozen in her place in…what, disbelief? Of course not because she knows that Leah could never forget the birth of Alex. Maybe it's because it has been so long since the two best friends have talked to one another; Leah fearing that Paul would answer the phone which would only bring about more drama. Alex's laughter rings out as he tries to convince his Aunt Leah that he's only 5-years old and not some other outlandish age that's either too old or too young. It feels so surreal to hear her son talking to the woman that has the entire pack in an uproar.

"I miss you, Aunt Leah." Alex states with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Mommy and Daddy miss you too." Alex continues on snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. "Uncle Jake," Alex begins but is cut off as his mother walks over.

"That's enough, Alex," Rachel says nervously quickly snatching the phone from his grip. "Hey, Lee, how's it going?" Rachel asks as Alex throws a tantrum wanting to talk to his Aunt Leah.

"Hey Rach," Leah answers apprehensively. "I'm good, can't complain really. I just wanted to wish my little Lex a happy birthday." Leah says and Rachel smiles hearing the happiness in her voice.

"Well I know the fact that you remembered means a lot to him." Rachel says waving a scowling Alex away; a look that he's learned from his Aunt Leah, no doubt.

"Well just because I'm not in La Push doesn't mean that I've forgotten about everyone." Leah says confidently.

"Your boyfriend hasn't made you forget about us, yet, huh?" Rachel asks teasingly.

"Aunt Leah can't have a boyfriend." Alex grumbles next to his mother. "She's mine."

"I don't have a boyfriend." Leah states.

"Well, what about your French speaking beau, Jean Paul." Rachel asks with a thick French accent earning a loud burst of laughter from Leah.

"They are two different people," Leah explains, "John, not Jean, is the alpha and the oldest and Paul is the youngest."

"I envy you living with twins." Rachel continues on teasing. "The same good looking guy but doubled."

"Speaking of good looking guys," Leah says after chuckling along with Rachel and her desire to gossip about Leah's 'living' arrangements. "How are things down there? Mom says that the wolf's out the bag that I've gone AWOL."

"Yea, everyone knows but you didn't go AWOL." Rachel says with a sigh.

"We know I didn't but I'm sure Jake and Seth think otherwise." Rachel feels her heart bleed for her friend as there is a hint of guilt and regret in her voice.

"They just miss you, Lee." Rachel states simply in some attempt to try and ease Leah's pain. The two women continue on laughing and talking about life in general and reminisce about days when they were both younger.

"So you're happy up there in Canada, huh?" Rachel asks after calming down from a good hard laugh.

"Mm…yeah, yeah I am." Leah admits confidently. Rachel feels envy well up inside of her at Leah's freedom but then it is quickly swallowed up by a sense of pride; she's proud of her friend for finally taking the initiative to see the world. Rachel knows she had her time out in the world and she doesn't regret leaving home for one moment. Leah lost the opportunity before it was even within her grasp. Her college acceptance letter to WSU arrived 5 days after her transformation, 3-days after Sam had forced her to accept her position within the pack and 2-days before Harry died of his heart attack.

"I'm glad to hear it, Lee. You deserve it more than anyone else here that I know." Rachel says quietly. The two women enjoy a quiet moment on the phone each to their own thoughts.

"Well…I need to get going to work. I'll talk to you later, Rach, I promise." Leah says quickly. Rachel smiles as she hears Leah moving quickly around within her space, grabbing and knocking things over in her haste.

After they said good-bye, Rachel sat looking at the phone with a small sad smile on her face. She missed her friend and knows that Leah will always show up where she feels that she is needed most. She was there when Rachel found out that Paul had imprinted on her, when Jacob was broken over Bella and even when Sam had put Emily in the hospital. Leah seemed to be a constant figure in their lives whether she was in the foreground or the background, she was there but only when she was needed the most.

"Rach," Jacob calls snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. Shaking her head slowly, Rachel turns her focus back to the four men before her. She's known them all her life and has watched them grow up, she'd missed a part of it while she was away at school but Leah was there to keep an eye on them.

Is that what they miss?

"Why do you guys want to know? What will you do with the knowledge?" Rachel asks and takes in each of their reactions. Seth looks surprised by the question and seems unsure of how to answer it. He's not sure what he'd do with the knowledge. He wants his sister back home –

She belongs here with me.

But he looks down, picking up the picture of Leah sitting on a couch, her image forever frozen in a moment of absolutely happiness. In the picture she's laughing so hard to the point of tears and Seth feels his heart break because he can't remember when was the last time he saw his sister that happy.

Embry sits within his own thoughts, mulling over Rachel's question, sorting through his emotions and his baser instincts. Much like the rest of his brothers there is a desire to go find what is theirs and bring it back.

She's not a possession and no one took her away from us. She left on her on.

Things have been changing so rapidly within the pack that most times Embry reverts back to quiet nature. He doesn't say much to his imprint and neither have she. Leah was seen as some dark, chaotic force within the pack in the beginning; the way she could easily slip in and slowly tear them all down. Whatever confidence they may have developed because of their abilities she'd show up and push them off of their mental pedestals sending them crashing back down to earth. Paul was cocky but it was a given that if it wasn't for Leah he'd be an even bigger ass than he already was; as hard as that is to believe.

Leah later brought about a change in herself and Jacob by becoming his beta. She stood beside him when the others were against him or uncertain. She didn't follow him because she liked Bella Cullen or that she adored Jacob Black like Seth did. She followed him because she didn't agree with what Sam was doing for one and, of course, the rest were for her own personal reasons. But Leah didn't support Jacob blindly and foolishly. She made her thoughts and opinions known; when she didn't agree with him than she'd argue her point. Leah made Jacob become more involved in the Council.

Embry quietly realizes that Leah was a vessel of change. Her leaving has brought about an even bigger change than anyone could've anticipated. Her absence has pushed Jacob to go even further, to accept his birthright, fully, and become the man the tribe will need when Billy's time is up. The wolves are slowly making stands against their imprints, the women that they've catered, coddled and caved in to time and time again. The Cullens were no longer calling the shots and their rules were now null and void. The pack wasn't in complete harmony and that was probably because they were incomplete without Leah around or maybe because Jacob's emotions were subtly affecting all of them but there again Leah was needed to provide that balance.

Looking up at Jacob, Embry frowns and can't help the rush of jealousy that overcomes him. Embry knows Jacob could've had Leah if he wanted to and right now he's not even sure if Jacob hasn't had her at some point. Yet, somehow Jacob Black had owned a part of Leah Clearwater that he, himself, had later tried to take for his own. His punishment for overstepping his bounds was his imprint. A growl rips from Embry's throat as he thinks back on the day he imprinted; he'd seen this girl almost every day for the last 6-months with no sort of feelings towards her outside of the thought that she was 'cute'.

His eyes widen and his nostrils flare at the realization that it wasn't 'love at first sight' but something else. If it wasn't love than what was imprinting? What was its purpose? Imprinting was supposed to be rare and yet 16 out of 17 wolves had all imprinted. What separated them from their forefathers? Why were they unable to make the decision on their own? Who was at the top of the hill and got the ball rolling? These are questions that Embry feels need to be answered amongst those who have imprinted.

"I won't do anything." Embry answers. His voice cuts through the thick silence and his answer is greeted with mixed emotions. Rachel and Seth both look relieved but its Jacob and Quil that both are giving him hard glares added with growls of disapproval. "It'd be nice to know that she's safe – for certain." Embry says focusing on Rachel.

"I'm with Embry." Seth admits, his voice sounding tired. "She looks so happy in these pictures. I – I want her back here at home, I do. But…I want what's best for her first." Seth answers with a small smile as he looks down at a laughing Leah. It has been a while since he's seen his sister laugh but he's never forgotten the sound of her laughter when she's like that. He remembers the way it rings all around you when you're near her and how infectious it is making you want to laugh along with her; even if you don't know why.

Quil sits back quietly, his eyes narrowing and his teeth grinding together at his two brothers' responses. They were supposed to side with him and Jacob in a united front to bring their sister back home. Claire missed Leah and there wasn't much Quil to do to bring her out of her sadness once it started. His imprint was hurting and he was willing to do anything to bring about an end to the pain and loneliness.

"She belongs here with us – not some other pack." Quil growls fixing a disapproving glare on Embry and Seth.

"How do you think she found this other pack?" Jacob asks. Even though they've all expected him to speak up at some point to give his answer they are all surprised to hear his voice. There is no underlying alpha command, no growl, hint of annoyance, frustration or indifference towards those around him. The soft smugness when he mentioned that Leah loved him is also gone as is the sadness that they've grown accustomed to hearing in his head whenever his thoughts wander to Leah – it was the 'old' Jacob before Bella and imprinting.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Quil snaps.

"I don't know?" Jacob answers back with a warning growl of his own. Quil takes the hint, his shoulders slumping and head bowing in submission. "I'm just curious how she knew to find them. What are the odds of finding another wolf pack?"

"Her wolf spirit led her to them." Rachel answers. It was the same question that Rachel had for Leah when she received the first call after Leah had left. "She did what you did when you ran away from home and Bella. Her wolf took over and led her to this new pack." Rachel is careful not to give away Leah's location just in case her brother decides to side with Quil.

Jacob sits quietly thinking over the information; his wolf hadn't led him anywhere except just around. Sure he had hung out in Canada but it provided the most cover for his massive size. It was a given that he'd return home eventually; he just wanted to come back on his own terms and not because Sam wanted him to or the others begged him to. Leah hadn't said anything while he was out running even though there were times where he came back to himself and she was running patrol. She didn't try to make small talk like the others. Instead, she wrapped him up in a blanket of images of the forest, the ocean, the sky and the rez. She didn't make him feel guilty for being gone by showing places like his home, Billy, his mother's grave or even the untouched Rabbit. They were just small images of the Council hall, the bonfire pit and the huge pine tree out in the back of tribal school.

Leah didn't push for him to come back home than but the relief she felt when he did return was unmistakable. While the others bombarded him with questions of why, what was it like and how? She stood back quietly watching the exchange. When he finally approached her he found himself relieved that she wasn't angry with him.

"Everyone just needs some time away to think, to vent, to work some things out and find themselves." She said after a few moments of silence. There was no bitterness or anger in her voice when she finally spoke. He recalls looking at her in surprise as she chuckled at the dumb look he was giving her. "I just hope you found yourself out there, Jake. I hope you found your peace to put you back on the right path." Her voice was so soft and deep at the same time. It seemed to echo and resound around and off of him with gentle warmth that made it feel as if she was all around him and inside of him.

"How will I know I did that? Put myself back on the right path?" Jacob asks inching closer to her, his voice low as if they were sharing a secret that no one else was allowed in. Leah's hazel eyes were drawing him in and they seemed to hold a hint of knowledge within them that made him feel as if he could trust her; that she'd not only advise him but also guide him and travel with him.

"I don't know." Leah states with a shrug of her shoulders, her voice sounding higher and a hint of attitude lancing it. "I don't think anyone ever really knows until they get so far down that path." Leah finishes up with a small frown, looking straight ahead, her eyes unfocused but still holding that knowledge and, almost, wisdom.

"Will you tell me when I'm wrong?" Jacob asks and the moment the question passes his lips, he regrets it. Leah turns to look at him with a dark, smug and mischievous grin upon her face. With the dancing fire not too far off from them he can see the wild, feral and wolf inside of her and he shivers uncontrollably.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Leah says reassuringly as she wraps an arm around Jacob's shoulders, closing the gap in between them. Jacob feels himself blush as he feels Leah's tit press into his side. "I'll definitely tell you when you're being stupid; like I've always done."

Leah did just that, she kept her promise and always told Jacob when he was in the wrong; wrong about Bella, about staying in the Cullens' home, giving into the Cullens' rules and avoiding home. It pains him now to realize that Leah did know what path he was supposed to be on but he was just too stupid and stubborn to realize it.

It's a shame that I've had to lose her to realize where I was always supposed to be.

"His name is John." Rachel speaks up bringing Jacob out of his memories and self-loathing pointing at the tallest man in the picture. Jacob looks down at the picture that he's been holding in his hand. He studies the face carefully, committing it to memory as the light grey eyes darken and the angry words they exchanged weeks ago rings in his head.

The wolf inside of him fidgets anxiously dueling with the desire to finally claim what has rightfully been his all along and to challenge this alpha to prove his dominance while on the other side he fights to keep hold of her. The ties that have bound their spirits to one another weaken with each passing day. It's as if he's grasping at wet, slippery straws and his desperation only grows with each attempt. She's fighting him and his hold; she desires to be free of her obligations and duties. Inside he knows that she has every right to want to move on and blaze a new path of her own; it has been his own fault that everything is so out of whack but she has been his one constant. Even though he's a spirit warrior, over time he cannot deny the fact that he's grown along with his human host; as Jacob has taken on some wolf qualities as has he taken on some human qualities. The pack isn't enough; she's his security, his life line and path back and forth between the two worlds, spirit and human, that they inhabit.

But if there's one thing he's learned since becoming Jacob's spirit warrior it's to be patient. It's something that the human will have to learn without the aid of his imprint. It'll be his job as the Alpha to show his pack the path that they've all stepped off of. Both man and spirit will have to prove themselves to their pack, family, friends, tribe and most of all her that he can be the man he was always meant to be. He'll let her have her fun and eventually he'll learn to let her go just enough so that she can go out and have the fun and freedom she seeks. He will convince her that he loves her more than life itself.

This feeling of warmth welling up inside of the russet wolf begins to resonate outwards from Jacob's belly, traveling to the tips of toes and the top of his head. The unusual calmness from his spirit gives Jacob a sense of ease as he puts down the picture of Leah and her new pack. He does not fully comprehend what it is his spirit is telling him but he can appreciate the peace that is filling him.

"She's safe and happy with…John, right?" Jacob asks looking at Rachel for confirmation. Rachel nods her head slowly. "That's all I need to know right now." Jacob says standing up from the bench. He ignores the stares of disbelief from everyone at the small table and instead picks up a few pictures of Leah alone. "Tell Claire I'll give these back to her later on." Jacob says nodding at Quil as he turns and walks away.

Jacob begins walking down the road headed towards town with a small smile on his face. In the end, he knows that he's always loved Leah. His love has developed, changed and evolved over the years tap-dancing between romantic and platonic. The imprint has clouded his judgment and he was wrong for letting himself give in so completely. But during it all he's seen and has learned what real love is all about through Leah. Love is selfish, unselfish, angry, bitter, happy, sad, determined, honest, straightforward, and harsh, it's a map to life and road of pain; but most of all its unconditional. Leah's happiness and well-being is what he really wants for her in the end. When she comes back to La Push that is what he'll tell her.

Leah, I love you.

A/N: Phew, so I finally got this out. You guys have NO idea how hard this was considering how I fell asleep twice at my laptop. This has been quite the past two weeks since my last update. So just to let you know what's been going on. Tuesday, last week, my aunt passed unexpectedly on the same day she was supposed to be released from the hospital. There is STILL no funeral date set up and so I have no idea what is going on since my cousin is supposed to be taking care of all the arrangements. So that kind of stole my thunder for the next couple of days. Then this weekend was the Official Twilight Convention in Chicago! W00T! I got to meet Kiowa, Bronson, Michael Welch and Nikki Reed. I was hours too late to meet Alex. ToT I was so disappointed. I love Kiowa and Bronson but Alex was the only reason behind me going. But I still had a blast and got to meet bvc17.

For some reason, Twitter is being a Isabitch about me uploading the pics so I've had to go to Facebook...which is being a bit of a lesser Isabitch than Twitter so...yea...if you want to check out the pics that are CURRENTLY posted then PM me and I'll let you know my name.

But after that GREAT weekend hugging, smiling and getting pictures taken. Btw, Kyle Dayton from the Hillywood cast! OMG! He has got the PRETTIEST brown eyes I have EVER seen. The first time I got my picture taken with him I couldn't look him in the eyes because I was SO focused on his chest. LOL. I was so embarrassed after walking away and realized what had just transpired. After that I promised myself that I was going to make eye contact with this and EVERY OTHER HOTTIE I come across. I mean how sexist can I be? *thinks it over* Well...hehehehe, alright so I will never blame a guy for checking out the girls ever again. I've lost the right to be mad. LMAO. But I finally did it the second time and MAN! I'm glad there were no glass doors, randomly placed objects or a flight of stairs for me to fall down and embarrass myself on. But getting back to Kyle, let me tell YOU all that he is soft, warm, hard and yum~my. I mean like his skin, around those glorious abs, was so soft but the muscles were MMMM...GOOD! *sings the Campbell soup song* ROFLMAO

But you all should go to the convention just ONE time. Sadly, bvc17 I STILL can't afford Orlando but NEXT YEAR! Oh, next year if Alex or Chaske or Taylor will be there. Believe my ass will be there!

OH! And getting to Chaske so he's got this new cut that can be viewed at (http :/ jacobblack - n-pack . ning. com/ with no spaces) to check out this...this...*breaks down into tears* I don't know WHAT it is. I mean is it supposed to be a emo, Adam Lambert cut? But just to describe it to you (and yes, I'm literally doing this as I type) take your hair and comb/brush it forward in front of your face. Okay? Then from like the center-top of your head make a part coming down at an angle to remain 1/3 of the hair left on the right-hand side. Okay, then imagine after that weird and disproportionate part then cut the hair into like a bob but it only gets shorter and shorter further...back? Some girls are saying it's growing on them but not ME!

Chaske, I love you enough to tell you this, IT DOESN'T WORK! YOU GROW IT BACK, NICE AND SHAGGY! YOU HEAR ME! DO YOU HEAR ME! If anyone sees him anytime soon pass that message on to him FROM ME! Yea, that's right. I'll own up to it. I'd tell him to his face if I could track him down. I can't run my fingers through THAT! T-T Don't ruin our love before it's too late. *whispers softly* Don't do this. We could have such beautiful black and brown babies. *nods head* We could!

Alright, so now that I'm done letting the lecherous part of me out. The final reason for my delay in updating is that I've recently joined a gym to help get in shape for my sis's wedding on...GET THIS! August 13th! I called her a Bella/Edward poser for picking the same wedding date as them. But I've gone twice already this week; Tuesday and today. And BOY has he been kicking my ass. I mean...like...I don't know...? Is that normal to be so dazed and confused after exercising? No? Really? Huh...well anyway to prove how serious we are about this; my sis's goal is to run a 5k marathon while mine is to POWER WALK the same 5k marathon. Look at me setting long term goals. ^-^

So again sorry for the delay but sometimes 'shit happens'. Had a great time at the convention and you all should go. Want to check out my pics and earn a friend on Facebook than just PM me and BOOM! You get my glorious mug added to your friends' list and see my random posts about life, family and...o I FORGOT MY BFF'S BDAY! Alright now I'm back. Chaske's hair? PM me about it after looking at it - yes, it has become my latest Twilight obsession. And...uh, Kyle is hot, Chaske is ruining the chances of him being allowed to impregnate me (pfft, HA! As if that'd ruin anything) and uh...gym is kicking my ass and with 3-times/week sessions that will cut into my ME time. Kei's "Me" time = updates. Awh, so sad but better late than never, right? So read AND REVIEW! Review is love and really I've enjoyed PMing everyone and getting to know all of you. ^-^ So...be my fwiend? *bats eyes*