Stirring Emotions

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. HOWEVER! However, I would've...damnit, I lost my train of thought thinking about Taylor's body and those luscious lips. Eh...give me A for effort. =P

The music is on, simply playing in the background and it's not even a tune that he recognizes; he doesn't listen to much music as he'd rather listen to the natural music of nature itself. But since Leah's arrived it's become somewhat of a luxury and a very nice form of entertainment. She loves to sing and dance; however, she is very careful not to do it too much in front of her pack mates. Ted was the lucky one to have walked in to see Leah dancing to the fast playing music on the radio; his eyes quickly taking in the sway of her hips, the quick and confident steps of her feet moving to some rhythmic pattern and the smile, not only on her face but in her eyes. It was a secret memory that Ted

had tried to keep to himself but one slip up around Paul and it was broadcasted all over – which is saying a lot considering how the pack only consists of the six of them. Paul had thought it was his beta duties to share with his brothers a hidden talent of Leah Clearwater.

Leah had blushed profusely in Ted's memory when she realized that she had been caught and was even flustered. John can't help but smile at the memory because her cheeks had turned a soft red that made her skin glow and her stance was that of awkward embarrassment; her right arm hanging stiff while the left hand grasped her right arm just above her elbow. It was strange because Leah was, without a doubt, one of the strongest women John has ever known but the few times where she let slip a hint of vulnerability it excited him. He feels pretty certain that Leah would probably snarl, snap and not talk to him for weeks if he, or Paul, let it slip out that he found that those small moments of weakness to be sexy. Maybe it's because she's always trying to stay on top of things, like her studies, or prove that she's able to hold her own, by always challenging Gio to a wrestling match – which she still had yet to win at. It's not that he wants to be her knight in shining armor…but…he would if she ever needed him to.

Lisa had called him that once, her 'knight in shining armor', because growing up she had been picked on continually because she was always klutzy, accident-prone and had to wear a retainer. She was even teased more because her family was dirt poor on the rez and she had to 'borrow' a retainer. To be honest, he was one of those kids who teased her mercilessly growing up but one day he found her crying in the woods. Her dark brown eyes shining with tears that seemed to flow like a huge river. He remembers the way her bottom lip was stuck out in a childish pout and her skinny arms and bony shoulders were hidden under a cloak of dark, straight hair. From that moment on John decided he wouldn't make fun of Lisa anymore and he, in fact, surprised everyone, including himself, when he stood up for her. It seemed that all Lisa had ever really needed was a 'friend', someone to stand by her, up for her and walk with her; that one person who, no matter what, would be there for her, to let her know that she had someone who cared for her, about her and believed in her.

"You've helped me find my path, John." Lisa had told him out the blue one day as they were walking home from school. They were both teenagers at that point and Lisa had grown out of her awkward, klutzy, ugly-duckling stage and was becoming a beautiful swan. John was envied by all the other boys, even though they weren't dating at the time, because he got to hang out with Lisa and she actually paid him all of her attention.

"I don't know how." John said shrugging his shoulders as he continued walking. He didn't know what she meant and didn't think he'd done a whole lot; gone were the days where she was picked on by the other kids. He walked her home in comfortable silence and then his whole world had changed. Lisa had done something he never expected or planned for; she kissed him. It was a sweet, simple kiss but for some reason it hummed throughout his entire body. After that, Lisa had become more than just a 'friend', she soon won his heart and he's certain his soul.

Shaking his head of the thoughts, John comes back to the present and takes in a deep calming breath.

The past is the past.

Lisa was a wonderful chapter in his life and he'd do it all over again if he had the chance. Sure he'd love to be able to change that night but 'everything happens for a reason' and it was Lisa's time. John shuts his eyes tight and tries to combat the pain, anger and regret that he still finds himself harboring over that night. He's wanted to let it go because it does him no good to keep it locked up. Besides he's always telling Leah to let her pain go.

"Hey, I'm home." Leah calls as she walks into the kitchen.

"Hey," John greets turning around with a huge smile on his face. He loves it when she walks in and declares this place as her 'home'. It's only been five months since she first arrived and he can never get over how quickly and seamlessly she's fallen into his life and his pack. "Hungry?" John asks as Leah sits down at the table with a heavy sigh.

"Yea." Leah simply answers giving him a weak smile before fiddling with her fingers. He frowns as a sense of dread falls over him like a blanket and he walks up to stand beside her. She's been kind of down lately and her mood has him worried. She seemed mildly alright after her first sleep walking or rather 'spirit walking' incident a few weeks back but it seemed to affect more than just her sleeping habits. Leah was having a hard time keeping up on her assignments and paying attention in class. She'd sit at the table or at a booth and instead of focusing on the paper in front of her, her eyes were staring off into the wilderness – she was distracted and it unsettled him.

"Is everything alright?" John asks lightly rubbing Leah's back.

"I – I don't know." Leah admits looking up at John and there in her eyes is that hint of vulnerability that takes his breathe away every time. "I just…I flunked another quiz." Leah mumbles as she reaches into her bag and pulls out the offending paper. John looks at the paper with a frown; it's Leah's philosophy quiz. She was surprisingly good in philosophy, at least according to Leo she was.

"How – how'd this happen?" John asks pulling up a chair and looking at Leah with concern.

"Isn't it obvious?" Leah snaps, snatching the paper away from John and growling as she balls it up. "I'm an idiot. I shouldn't be in college."

"Hey, hey! Don't do that." John says back stopping Leah's hand and taking the crumbled up mess from her. "And you're not an idiot." John states as he opens it up and smoothes it out. "I saw your high school transcript and you, Leah, are not an idiot." John says with a soft smile, taking Leah's chin into his big hands and raising it.

"I can't focus." Leah mumbles.

"Well…maybe it's because you've not phased much lately, yea?" John asks slowly. Since the last incident John has been very careful about Leah phasing alone. Her spirit seemed dead set on leaving and he couldn't just stand aside while Leah fell prey to the whims of her spirit. Spirits were meant to act as guides and voices of reason in the darkness; not just take over their host and lead them wherever the hell they felt like going. Leah only shrugs her shoulders, her eyes focused on the paper in between them signaling her failure at a normal life in deep, blood red letters and number – the number 0.

"Maybe it's just been so long that I can't go back?" Leah questions out loud as her eyes narrow and there is small nudge deep within her belly as if in silent agreement.

"Don't talk like that, Lil' Lee." John says taking one of Leah's hands into his own. "Come on, I've got something to take your mind off of that stupid quiz. Cook with me." John says standing up and pulling Leah with him.

"Okay." Leah says with a quick nod as the two head towards the counter. "What's for dinner?"

"Chicken cacciatore." John states with a wink as Leah looks over at him with wide eyes. It's one of her favorite dishes to make. "This is our date." John says bumping Leah with his shoulder playfully as the two wash their hands.

John can't help but smile as Leah looks up at him with a sweet smile on her face and her eyes shining brightly. Gone is the heavy, solemn look of depression, sadness and hopelessness. He had thought of many options for their first date but nothing seemed to fit them right. He had thought of just doing the simple dinner and movie but they both worked at a restaurant and plus he couldn't talk to her during the movie. A club was too loud, crowded and it unsettled his spirit with the bright, flashing lights and mixed smells of desperation, sex and cigarette smoke. John had finally just decided to keep it real simple and basic as Leah probably wouldn't have appreciated if he'd done something too…what - extravagant? She was a simple girl who liked to carry her own weight and doing things on her own; so cooking dinner together just made sense.

The two get to work, talking about nothing and everything, cracking jokes and even arguing over the amount of spices.

Leah smiles as she watches John quickly and efficiently cut the peppers that will go into the pan. This recipe was actually something that she'd happened upon while hanging out in Jacob's room one day. They had just finished a pack meeting and she was too content snuggled up in her alpha's bed to leave and he didn't seem too hard press to just leave her there either. As she laid in Jacob's bed, her face partially buried into his pillow he sat on the floor reading a magazine, occasionally, asking her questions to make sure she was still awake. She had teased him about what he was reading saying that it was probably porn and it was a test to see if he could still get it up.

"Oh, I can still get it up." Jacob had simply stated with a dark chuckle. Leah had only rolled her eyes at the statement and instead grabbed a hold of Jacob's sheet and wrapped herself up in it. For some reason she just loved the smell of his sheets and had he not been there she probably would've rolled around in them. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed?"

"Is that what that was supposed to be?" Leah asks from underneath her sheet. Jacob had laughed at her remark but tossed her the Men's Health magazine he had been reading. She flipped through it and found some of the articles to be really interesting, the guys in the ads were definitely good looking and there were even some recipes. One of the recipes in the book was for chicken cacciatore and as it was Leah's night to cook for Billy, Leah decided she'd try it out for him. It was an easy recipe to follow and Billy, in fact, loved it – as did Jacob who decided to stay in La Push for dinner instead of going to check up on his spawn princess. Billy had teased and harassed Jacob for sticking around, accusing his son of ruining his 'special time with Leah'. Leah had laughed at the comment made but Jacob seemed to not appreciate the comment and didn't miss Leah cooking a meal until after the Aunt Emma incident. But it was a meal that she made often for the three of them.

But that was in the past.

Looking over at the man beside her, Leah smiles warmly thinking about how much John has helped her. He's given her a home, welcomed her into his pack, gave her a job, helped her get into school, saved her life…and he's even, somehow, found a way for her to get some of her past grievances off her chest. And now the two of them were on a date; it wasn't anything great but the simplicity of the act really warms Leah's heart. Although her mind is telling her that this is a bad idea, that he's a wolf and will probably imprint. However, her spirit, the wolf inside of her remains silent on the subject. There is no growling or frustration when thinking about John and the others imprinting – almost as if there's no chance. Turning her attention back to the man beside her, Leah wonders if this is her path? Whether it is or not, she's not going to sit back and lose it because of her walls and past.

A smirk graces Leah's lips as he notices John's attention turned towards the pot that their ingredients will be added to. Her eyes narrow as she focuses in on one of the sliced bell peppers and her hand quickly reaches out snatching up the treat and popping it in her mouth. Her movement is quick and noiseless but it somehow still draws John's attention.

John turns back around to see Leah looking in the opposite direction; he's not sure why but he has this funny feeling, almost a suspicion, that Leah is up to something. His senses aren't alerting him to any danger or threat – not even playful that involves his bodily harm, but it's still…something. Shrugging his shoulders John returns back to his task of cutting another pepper as Leah works on the onion.

As he turns to tend to the slowly simmering ingredients does he catch it out of the corner of his eye. His body reacts before his brain really has a second to process what exactly has transpired and he notices Leah busily chopping, her head down but her muscles just a tidbit tense. If he wasn't a skin-walker he's certain that he wouldn't notice her muscles tensing slightly under her copper skin.

With a frown he looks down and it's when he notices that two of the sliced peppers are missing. There is a hint of frustration and annoyance in him that Leah has been sneaking food from him behind his back and that he's just now becoming aware of it. However, he finds her sneakiness and playful attitude to be warming, adorable and a challenge his wolf will gladly accept. On top of that the longer he stands trying to process what is actually going on does Leah find it harder to keep her cool, calm and innocent composure. He can see her lips being sucked and her shoulders shaking slightly in an attempt to hold back her laughter.

John decides to play along and act as if he hasn't figured it out yet; technically, he has no proof to accuse her of sneaking food. Although he's certain the moment he confronts her she'll burst out laughing giving up her front.

"Lil' Lee, are the onions about done?" John asks and Leah simply nods her head before looking up at John with a huge smile on her face. He can't help but return the smile and dumps in all of their ingredients together. John's heart begins to quicken as Leah scoots closer to watch their dinner cook.

John feels a touch of disappointment when it appears as if Leah is done with her game and the two continue on talking. John finds himself slipping into an easy and comfortable interaction with Leah that borders slightly on the flirtatious; it's interesting because John was never the one to flirt much with the females. The subtlety of their touches and words is a part of him that he's never used even around Lisa – it's natural and it leaves John wondering what will happen next. He's always been the thinker between the twins, over-analyzing and dissecting; his instincts were meant to be followed while he was on patrol.

Then again his wolf has had some passing interest in the other girls on the rez but it was never anything that seemed to appeal to both man and wolf, mind and body. Leah, however, easily answered both. Sliding down to get something else, John sees Leah's hand quickly dart out towards the pot and as he turns around, he notices her eyes are narrowed, cheeks puffed out and a hint of oregano sauce on the corner of her mouth. Before he can say anything about her odd behavior his hand almost knocks over the bottle of wine and he turns his attention back to the task at hand. By the time, he's back; she's already cleaned up the mess and is innocently leaning on the counter, her eyes shining brightly up at him.

Oh, she's good.

The wolf inside of John growls playfully at Leah's antics; she's quick, cunning and clever. She had lulled both of them into a false sense of security by giving up her game and taking John's attention away from the missing items. It's another one of her traits and characteristics that he loves about her; even if he does find it to be a bit underhanded and immature.

"I've never had someone cook for me the way you have." Leah states as she moves behind John and grabs a bottle of juice from the fridge.

"What about Sue?" John asks and deep down inside he's curious about him, Jacob.

"Well sure my Mom cooked when we were younger," Leah says with a shrug. "But…after my Dad died she kind of stopped. I'm sure part of it was that Seth and I had phased – I patrolled double to cover for Seth so that he could focus on school." Leah admits with forlorn look thinking back on the past. "But then she started back up again just for Billy and Charlie."

"Who's Charlie?" John asks with a frown. He's heard plenty of Billy; Billy Black, Chief of La Push and Jacob's father.

"Charlie's an old friend of my dad; police chief for Forks – he's white and so he doesn't spend much time on the rez like he used to." Leah clarifies as John nods his head. "He was chasing after my mom for a while there but that fell through." Leah states with a hint of a dry chuckle.

"Really? How'd that make you feel?" John asks curious to hear about another part of Leah's past.

"Well he was Bella's father, the girl who wanted to become a vampire." Leah states with a shrug her eyes focusing on the intricate pattern in the countertop. She's not given much thought to Charlie Swan in many years – his part in her life was a trying one that she's tried to forget. "I think Mom didn't realize exactly what he had planned for her and when she did – she ended it right there."

"Oh…I see." John says softly noticing Leah's lack of interest in the subject.

"But during that point I was cooking for my family, Billy and the pack. It was just one of the few ways I could help Mom out around the house." Leah continues on with a shrug and smiling up at John. "But because I was feeding a pack of hungry wolves I just started eating as I cooked." Leah says reaching into the pot and taking out a piece of chicken.

John notes her giggle as she puts the morsel in her mouth; one of his pet peeves is when his brothers try and sneak a bite before the meal is ready. He growls at her at playfully smacks her hand followed up with a 'don't do that'.

"I can't help it. Old habits die hard." Leah adds with another giggle and just to be a brat she quickly reaches out again for the pot.

"Didn't I tell you, no?" John asks with a low, deep snarl on his lips. Leah sucks in her lips trying to fight her smile as her heart races. John quickly pins her in between himself and the counter, his hands each holding onto a wrist and a low growl rumbles from his chest. "You just don't listen." John states slowly shaking his head.

"I can't help it…it smells so good." Leah says shaking her head in her own defense.

John isn't sure exactly why it happens but he presses his body up against Leah, his skin tingling as she lets out a soft squeak from their contact and he brings his face closer to hers.

"Can't help it, huh?" John asks, his voice getting deeper and huskier. "I can understand since I can't help doing this." John says and he quickly begins tickling Leah's sides, armpits and neck. Her laughter rings out in the kitchen as he laughs along with her, enjoying watching, feeling and hearing her wiggle, squirm and struggle under his touch. He continues his tickling assault until Leah is in tears, trying to make her body into a tight ball and begging for him to stop.

"John! JOHN!" Leah cries out, out of breathe and her sides aching from her uncontrollable laughter. She breathes out a sigh of relief as John stops tickling her and gently picks her up; her arms locked, tense, at her sides in case he decides to attack her again. His chuckling makes her entire body vibrate as his hands leave her sides and combs through her hair trying to find some sense of order to her appearance.

"You know what, Lily?" John asks using the nickname that has been unanimously agreed upon by the pack for her; her old pack called her 'Lee' but Gio had taken upon calling her Lil' Lee and shortened became Lily. "You smell really good." John breathes out against Leah's hair. He follows her scent down to her shoulder, his lips lightly grazing the exposed skin before traveling up to her neck. Leah's soft gasp only acts as a small push encouraging John to bury his nose into the crook of her neck and inhale deeply; her scent is intoxicating and smells so sweet.

It's been so long for the two of them to have had such intimate contact with anyone. Their bodies both ache and scream out for more; Leah allows her head to roll back giving John easier access to her neck and he smirks placing his hands on her hips and planting a soft kiss on her neck. Her taste is so sweet and he greedily attacks her neck wanting more; her soft moans only making his first exploration of her even sweeter.

There was talk of there being 'no expectations' but that conversation is quickly forgotten. John kisses up Leah's throat, moving up to her plump lips and he groans softly the moment he reaches his goal. He can taste the sauce on her lips; wrapping his arms around her waist he pulls her closer, his tongue lightly grazing her bottom lip requesting access to taste the rest of her mouth. Leah hesitates for a second but she parts her lips and feels an ache in her stomach the moment their tongues meet.

There tongues do not fight for dominance but instead move together in a silent dance. Their tongues caress, curl and touch one another; in a way that makes both wolves inside of them excited and heated.

There is a need for air but John tries to combat the pull back; he doesn't want to break this moment he's sharing with Leah. Her entire being seems to have him wrapped up tightly in a blanket; it's a feeling he's not experienced in a while. It's been so long since he's been intimate with a woman – Lisa, actually, ever being the only one. His body aches for more as he pulls back and the two are gasping for air, foreheads touching and arms locked tight around one another. With a growl, John quickly turns off the eye on the stove and lifts Leah up placing her on the counter.

Leah tries to find her common sense, logic or some sense of intellect as her legs immediately part the moment her ass touches the counter. John is quick to fill the space, burying his nose back into her neck and sucking on her pulse point as she wraps her legs around his waist. She gasps the moment she feels his erection pressing against her, now wet, sex. The female wolf inside of her is excited by this contact from another male that's not the russet wolf; as she's always been whenever the human female went out on a date.

Leah's hands slides down John's muscular chest to the hem of his shirt. Gripping his shirt tightly, Leah uses it as leverage to scoot her body closer and John obliges by aiding. He captures her lips as her hands slip underneath his shirt and her fingers spread out running up and down the contours of his abs. He growls as her hands move up to his chest, pulling his shirt along with it. John pulls back from their kiss and looks on with dark grey eyes as Leah licks her lips looking back at him, the tips of her fingers dancing quickly and teasingly across his nipples. Removing the shirt, he looks down at Leah and lets a small smile as his hands slip underneath her shirt, roughly stroking the skin around her hips.

His cock aches as she moans with his touch, her legs tightening, pulling him closer easily. Her eyes, usually, a soft, warm hazel are now a dark brown. She's not only pulling his body closer into her but she's now trapped his mind and soul. John watches on in silent awe as his hands move higher and higher up Leah's sides and her back arches at his touch. It intrigues him to watch the beautiful woman before him, give herself up and to him; Leah's always so in control.

"John," Leah breathes out. Trying to control his lust, John groans as he kisses Leah deeply and tries to fight back the strangled moan as he feels her fingers dance dangerously close to the fasten on his jeans.

"Dear Lord, man, don't swallow the poor thing." A deep voice booms out snapping the two out of their heated moment.

John curses to himself as he feels Leah's body stiffen and just as quickly, the tone, strong legs that had him wrapped up tight are gone. Looking down, he finds Leah's head hung low and judging by the flush on her chest –

She's embarrassed. Great, that's just great.

Looking back over his shoulder, John fights the irritation when he sees his pack all grinning at him – shit eating grins, to be exact; all but one. Rolling his eyes, John turns around crossing his arms in front of his chest, blocking Leah from their gaze. It's not that she's indecent but for some reason he just doesn't want anyone seeing her in her heightened and aroused state.

"What are you guys doing here?" John asks narrowing his eyes at his pack.

"Well…I live here." Paul states smugly and John feels his nose begin to heat up, a blush starting to pepper his face, as his twin brother gives him that look. The unspoken question being, 'Did you touch her tits?' Paul only laughs at his brother's embarrassment as John looks away quickly, his brow furrowing and his bottom lip sticking out in a childish pout.

"I didn't know we were interrupting such a precious and heated moment." Gio states as Leah hops down from the counter and slowly steps out from behind John.

Laughter rings out in the kitchen as Leah and John both stand side-by-side blushing. The quiet dinner for two is over before it even got started but John promises Leah that he'll make it up to her; both knowing that John could easily order them away but it would only increase the pack's amusement to know how badly Alpha and Omega want some 'alone time'. They all sit down, eating together, laughing and talking but there are mixed emotions among the pack. John can't shake his irritability at his brothers interrupting him and Leah. However, his irritation seems to only be heightened by the dark look that he occasionally receives from Ted. John isn't sure exactly what is going on with Ted but decides to address it at some other time.

Ted sits watching both John and Leah closely; the wolf inside of him growls anxiously as it feels slightly torn between two decisions. Ted cares for them both but…

This isn't right.

Leah sits up in bed with a start, her heart pounding, her body covered in a light sheen of sweat and her throat is dry and feels tight. She groans as she falls back on her pillow fighting back a bout of tears and the scream that is itching and clawing to get out. Sitting up, grabbing the glass of lukewarm water she swallows it down letting the liquid wet her tongue, throat and hopefully settle her stomach. The nightmares were starting back up again and, as always, Leah finds herself unable to recall what they are about; or even if it's more than one. Picking up her phone she checks the time and huffs at the glowing light of 4:17AM shocking her retinas. As she holds her phone, she moves to the contacts list and her eyes immediately falls on 'Jacob Black'. Biting her bottom lip Leah debates over whether or not to press the name on the screen before her; it's still early back at home and more than likely he was sound asleep laid out next to his Nessie. But, again, there was that quiet voice telling her that he could bring about her comfort – same as always. Letting out a sigh, Leah presses the button and puts the phone up to her ear. It's been so long since she's heard his voice and even if it's his voicemail it'll be enough for her.

Jacob sits on the edge of his bed, his eyes burning from unshed tears, his leg bouncing anxiously and his breathing heavy. The night terrors were supposed to have stopped – weren't they? It'd been so long since he had awoken from his sleep with such a start. The only thing that would calm him down at this point would be Leah but she was nowhere around. He wondered for a moment if she even suffered from the images anymore? Was he holding her, soothing her and chasing away all of her fears like they used to do for one another? A growl erupts from his throat but is cut short as his phone suddenly rings. He sits glaring at it for a moment feeling his anger and frustration build with the fucking, spoilt asshole that was calling him at this ungodly hour of the morning.

Renesmee.

He'd not seen his imprint since he lashed out at her and the fact that she took his warning seriously was enough to make the wolf inside of him smirk. But it certainly didn't stop the endless calls from both mother and daughter. Either Bella or Renesmee were forever dialing his number trying to get him to talk to them. Billy had suggested that he just get a different phone number but he knew that the Cullens would be able to get it one way or another. Grabbing the phone, he flicks it opens and growls out a greeting. There's no voice on the other end but he does hear a slight hitch of one's breathe.

"Yea, what do you want?" Jacob demands harshly as he rubs his eyes. "Look I ain't got time for this bullshit." Jacob snarls out angrily.

The person on the other end remains quiet but he can hear them breathing. He frowns deeply as his heart begins to race and his palms suddenly feel clammy. His eyes widen as a slow realization hits him and he finds himself unable to speak at this most crucial moment.

Leah.

He wants to tell her that he misses her, wants to know that she's alright, if the new pack is treating her right, is she coming home and most of all does she miss him as much as he misses her? There's so much that needs to be said and as he opens his mouth, that has feels like it's full of cotton, there's a dry chuckle on the end. His heart skips a beat recognizing the sound of her laugh regardless of whether it's forced, sarcastic, uncontrollable or even…annoyed. Shaking his head quickly, whether it's to get rid of the cotton-mouth or maybe shake his voice free, he lets out a small strangled noise as he stops to hear a soft 'go back to sleep, Jacob. Sorry for waking you' and the line goes dead.

"Lee," Jacob breathes out much too late. "Leah." Jacob calls out again as he knocks his fist into his forehead trying to fight back the wave of built up emotions back. "No, no, no!" Jacob says quickly, shaking his head, rocking trying to hold back the impending onslaught. He goes to call log hoping to have the phone number that she's called from and feels his hope shattered when the number comes up as 'Unknown'.

Flipping the phone closed, his fist closing tightly around it causing the casing to crack a little under the pressure and burying his fists into his eyes he feels a sense of hopelessness and loss wash over him. There is no comfort from the spirit within; a sense of despair fills his lungs as breathing becomes a labored chore. His eyes and nose burns as he tries to fight back the loneliness that is surrounding him, embracing him tightly like his Lee would've done had she been here – here at home. Loneliness sits on one side and Despair sits on the other and surrounded by nothing more than memories of a woman gone, Jacob breaks down letting the emotions take over him. He cries and cannot find the strength or will to even keep it all in and it shatters like a piece of glass hitting the floor.

The only emotions Jacob has allowed out have been anger, frustration and solemn indifference. Happiness has only come in the form of old pictures of Leah in her most casual and nonchalant moments where her walls came down and she was Harry's little girl, Seth's big sister and the prettiest girl on the rez again. Now all of the pictures do are act as grim reminders of how much his life has changed in a matter of a few months that he's spent with his head up Renesmee's ass doing anything and everything for her. The new pictures are painful reminders that she's moved on, she's not just run away from the life of a wolf but she's continued it on with someone else. Maybe that's what the hurts the most is that he, they weren't enough for her. Realization that it was never the life of a spirit warrior that she despised but it was just them. Crying out her name, Jacob holds himself and apologizes to her over and over again. He promises to make everything better, to do what's right and be a stronger person if only she'll just come back.

Please come back home.

Billy lies in his bed as big silent tears rolls down his cheeks. He hears his son's cries, pleading and begging for Leah Clearwater to come back and his heart bleeds for him. This is a pain that Billy has experienced all too well and he's not decided whose pain is greater, his or Jacob's? Billy had spent quite a few nights crying for his wife, Sarah, begging and pleading with her, God, the spirits – hell, anyone that would listen to the pain that was in his heart. There was nothing that he wanted more than to have the woman he loved right back beside him. Sarah had helped him to grow into the man he is today and despite the arguments they had and didn't have, they were still a team. They were partners, equals in their relationship; carrying one another through every trial and detour in their lives. Billy has sat back for years and watched Jacob and Leah's relationship grow into what could've easily become a life-long love that only death should be able to break. Leah was to Jacob what Sarah was to him; a partner, a life jacket, comforting arms and the harsh reality. While Billy had lost his wife to a car accident, an act of God or maybe a bad decision on both parties, Jacob had lost Leah in the worst possible way – she consciously made the decision to leave.

As there is a loud crash in Jacob's room, some objects being broken and smashed, Billy turns over and prays that somehow all of this will work out in the end; that somehow Jacob will figure out what he wants and needs to do. Billy will try to help him out as much as he can but he cannot tell Jacob how to feel about himself and Leah. The fact that she called, although may fill his son with pain, it gives Billy hope that no matter what the distance her thoughts are still on her alpha. Billy lets out a heavy sigh of relief as the noise quiets down in Jacob's room, his bed creaking under his weight as he lies back down and the tension slowly dissipates within the small red house. Billy can only hope and pray that his son doesn't suffer a setback or will try to close himself back inside of a ball to keep the pain away; Jacob was never one for dealing with pain or rejection. Bella Swan made him run away and Billy feels a cold chill take over him as he wonders what Leah could make him do.

Leah's breathe had caught the moment she heard his deep and familiar growl. She wished she could say that she was relieved to hear his voice after so many months apart but the cold, harsh tone makes it clear that she's made the right decision. Jacob doesn't need her and never did. And she's called at an ungodly hour interrupting his sleep probably with Renesmee cuddled up next to him. Leah lets a dry chuckle escape her lips as she shakes her head, silently cursing herself for making such a foolish decision. It's obvious that Jacob didn't 'have time' to deal with anyone that wasn't his imprint. There's only one thing that Leah can do at this point and that is end the conversation here and now.

"Go back to sleep, Jacob." She orders with a soft smile. "Sorry for waking you." And without waiting for a response back she hangs up the phone. It's strange as she thinks back over her words. Years ago before Renesmee was born it was the only command that Leah would bark out to Jacob. He was so nervous and frightened for Bella's safety back then; he was pacing the forest floor at a maddening pace. Leah chuckles as she remembers that it was like watching a caged animal at the zoo that had nothing else to do with itself but keep up the monotonous routine. 'Go back to sleep, Jacob' she had told him once again before jumping up and, literally, blocking his set path. Nudging him with her nose had seemed to snap him out of his trance and he complied opting to lay down in the spot that she had previously occupied. That was the first night that they slept curled up together and even then…it felt right.

As time progressed and the nightmares picked up, the same order was given. She'd go to him or vice versa and after a few hours, of what she assumed was a light slumber, she'd find Jacob intently watching her. Turning to snuggle into his chest, she'd give the order and with a deep chuckle he'd comply. The point is she's never said the words so far away from him before and she wonders for a second if they still hold the same power now as they did then?

Shaking the thought from her head, Leah gets up and heads towards the bathroom. It's hard for her to believe that she's been gone from home for almost 5-months now and Jacob is the first wolf that she's actually said something to since leaving. She's called and wished those who have had a birthday a happy birthday; fortunately, figuring out their voicemail password is real easy as it's always the imprints birthday. And after she makes the call to a wolf, she immediately gets her number changed so that the Cullens can't track her down. It's a huge frustration and pain for Sue but she understands why it needs to be done. Over the years, Leah has seen the Cullens interact with one another and those around them. They have serious 'attachment' issues and will go to great lengths to ensure that whoever belongs with them gets what he or she wants. All it would take is Jacob and/or Seth putting in a request for help in finding Leah and she's certain that they'd be outside of either one of her classes or her job with fire in their eyes and harsh words on their tongue.

Pausing for a moment, Leah peeps into the room to see Paul laying sprawled out all over his bed wearing nothing but a dark pair of boxers. There is a light snore filling his room despite the pillow that is covering his face. Shaking her head, she moves further down the hall and stops in front of John's room to find him also sleeping soundly. Leah can't help the small smile that creeps up on her lips looking in at him; he's fallen asleep with one of his books opened and a pencil in his hand. His mouth hanging open has more than likely left a puddle of drool on the notes or assignment that he was working on.

Moving on Leah steps into the bathroom and begins brushing her teeth. John has fallen asleep while studying one of his accounting books and yet she finds herself unable to even crack open one book to seriously begin studying. Leah sighs and wishes that she's had John's habits or drive. Lately, it's been so hard for her to remain focused on her studies and maybe it's because she's been a wolf for so long now that she can't remain cooped up inside of a building for hours on end. John has tried to convince her that she just needs to get in the swing of things and that she's just stressing out, again, since she missed the first week and a half of school due to her injuries. Leah can admit that she was freaking out about missing the first day of school and recalls how Paul and Leo teased her for being 'such a nerd'. She couldn't help it; Harry always said, 'If you're going to do anything you have to at least show up on the first day and on the last day'.

But despite the semester being half way over Leah still finds herself struggling to get caught up and stay focused. Turning on the shower, Leah quickly strips and steps in letting the hot water run over body as she shuts her eyes. Opening them she begins to bathe and silently prays to wash away this tension and unrest from her body. Leah hasn't mentioned it to John…but she's been feeling that sense of anxiety, a strong desire to be outside…the exploration and need to run isn't there…but –

Focus, Lee.

She tells herself, sharply patting her face as if to wake herself up. John is right, she can do this because if she doesn't…what else is there for her?

A/N: Alright, phew, this chapter took quite a while because the JohnxLeah moment…WOW! Completely unexpected and after I wrote it I couldn't think of any other way of going about writing this part of their story without completely skipping over it. So there you go for you John and Leah fans that have been DYING to see them again. To the Blackwater fans 'DON'T HATE ME!' *points at profile pic of John's torso* LOOK! LOOK AT IT! Let SHE who would spurn that body if it walked up to her with a sexy-ass smile on his face and wanted to spend time with you THEN CAST THE FRIST STONE!

THUMP!

OUCH! SONUVA…WHO THREW THAT? *growls* Can't believe someone actually THREW IT! John is some hot shit! Jacob is too…but Jacob's been pussy-footing around with Renesmee so SCREW HIM…o_O? Well…I'll do that, ahem, but anywho don't flame me yet. I mean WHO can ever forget about Jacob Black? Sure he's a clueless, stubborn, sexy-ass fool who always goes after the wrong girl when the perfect woman is right in front of him…yes, yes hilja I'm referring to you too. ^-^ Hehehe. But sometimes paths diverge and come back as one...only to maybe finally come apart. Yes, I know I'm using double-talk. =P

Let's see…what's been going on? Oh! Operation Must-Get-Ass-In-Shape-For-Operation-Snag-Me-A-WILF-For-the-Sake-of-My-Black-&-Brown-Babies *phew* that's a mouthful…*takes a deep breath* IS A GO! MY NEXT TWILIGHT CONVENTION IS SLOTTED TO BE IN JUNE! So I gotta start saving up money, getting shape and pull out my Sasha Fierce wig. Oh, yea, WILF girls. Kei is pulling out ALL OF THE STOPS! A WILF is dancing with me at the ball! DAMNIT! And Kyle too. ^.^ Hehhehe. *sits in a corner giggling like a school girl*

But I've got like a few more minutes until I hit the gym before it turns around and bitch slaps, bends me over and rapes me before calling me 'Shirley'. *tears up and sniffles* OH THE THINGS I DO FOR MY WILFs!

But you know what I want y'all to do. Read and review! Tell me what you think…oh…and there's like 35 of y'all that voted that have NEVER said a word to me. So you can take my poll and not say 'hey' or 'sup' to me? For shame, for shame. Tsk, tsk, tsk. I know y'alls moms and dads raised you better than that! I'm working hard to get this stuff out and sure sometimes I do it for the ego-stroking reviews. So UNTIL I can get a WILF to stroke me for y'all – GIVE IT TO MOMMA! ROFLMAO. FYI: I'm an achievement whore on Xbox Live and a review whore here on . o_O? I'm sure I could throw a couple more 'things' I'm a whore for…but whose got that kinda time? LOL.