Author's Note: Okay, I decided to just post this chapter. I am really kind of nervous, because I had asked one of my guy-friends to read it and tell me if James' actions are guy-like. But said guy-friend in question has not gotten back to me. I am just giving up on him. I sent him the story before I went on vacation, and he must A) really have hated it and just is too polite to tell me to my face that he doesn't like it. B) He is the slowest reader in the history of the written record. C) He forgot to write me back about what I asked him to do. Or D) never read it in the first place. But I just could not wait any longer to post this next chapter. I really love this chapter, and I hope that you will too.

I still do not own James Potter or Lily Evans.

Charmed Love Chapter 13

October 4

Sitting on my bed in my dorm room

That was not as horrible as I thought that it was going to be. You know when you get so nervous about something that your brain just starts to spin out all these possible outcomes that are way worse than anything that could possibly happen. Yeah, that is what I was going through not six or so hours ago. So really maybe all I can say is that it was just suppose to happen, find of like it was fated, or something. I know it sound really cheesy, but that is just the only way I can think of how to describe it.

Well, whatever the reason or the result of actions later; it does not alter the fact that when I walked out of the Herbology Greenhouse with my firm resolve. Some (okay most) of that confidence faded out into the chilly October air.

It is all easy and good to say that I am going to fix my friendship with a guy that for the past month I have tried my hardest to avoid. The same guy that before we were friends, I hated with a fiery, burning passion. However, the actual fixing of said relationship is something else entirely.

So, with my thoughts in a turmoil, I walked across the grounds into the Great Hall for dinner. I quietly take my seat next to Alice and across from Beth. Vanessa doesn't always sit with us for the fact that she still likes to hang out with her older friends, which we are totally fine with. I barely manage a hello when Alice moved over to make room for me. Beth didn't say a thing, I am actually not entirely sure that she even noticed me. Which I know she didn't do on purpose because she was sitting next to Eric the object of her attention.
I really hope that everything works out for Beth. I can see just by looking at her that she is in love with him, or at least very close to being there. And I know that Beth of all people laughs at the notion of meeting the love of your life at the age of 17. And just between us, I know that she would be heartbroken if they did ever break up, even though she would never admit to it, being all I-am-woman-hear-me-roar.

Looking at them made me think about James who effectively pulled me back into my thoughts and musings. I think that I really did miss talking to him. "Oh, God." I thought to myself. You know your life has taken a miserable turn on your part when Sirius Black starts giving out relationship advice that actually makes sense.

I don't believe myself. After everything that has happened between James and I, there is still the possibility that I don't fully understand my feelings for him. I just needed answers and then maybe I could put the sting behind me.

So I continued eating my meal while I only half listen to what Beth and Alice are talking about, something to do with shoes, I think. I was not really paying attention to anything that was going on around me. I thought about joining the conversation, but then decided against it. That is the problem with having really close friends who understand you so well. They know instantly when things are wrong, and there was no way that I could talk to them about what was bothering me without losing the last bit of confidence that I had. I just needed to think about what the hell I was going to do later that night.

I probably should not have done it, but I really needed to see how he was, and what his mood was. So I could better gage how my inquiries would be accepted, and possible the offer of being friends again.

I looked down the table to find the usual spot that The Maurders sat. He was talking to Remus with his back turned to me. I almost just gave up seeing how it was pointless looking over there when he was not even looking in my direction. Until, Remus must have seen me looking over at James because he leaned over, I assume, to tell James that I was looking at him. His back straightened ever so slightly, so slightly that had I not been watching him so intently, I would have missed it.

Finally he turned to face me as one might view something that they are trying to ignore; like I could not do anything that would affect him in any way. As though he was just looking at me so that I would stop looking at him, and to not seem overly and outwardly rude.

I almost lost all of my feeble resolve by that look. Because by that look said it seemed that he didn't care one way or the other about me. I guess that any speculation that any onlooker might have had about James Potter's legendary feelings for me would have been shattered and unquestionably revoked. I can't believe that I was thinking that he would be thinking anything else. I mean, I hadn't even talked to him for about a month, the first time being last night. "Wow, my imagination really gets away from me sometimes." I thought to myself. I can only imagine what my face must look like right now. I just really hope that it is not too red. Pink, will probably be accurate because there is no way on God's green earth that I am not blushing a little bit.

I quickly looked away feeling my face flush even redder at the embarrassment that accompanied that awkward moment. For when the chilling effect of the look wore off all I could think was, well, he looked better.

Not loads better, mind you, but his eyes had a small amount of their usual sparkle. Not as much as one might want to see, but definitely more than there has been in them recently. His glasses were clean and sitting straight on the bridge of his nose. However, his mouth was fixed in such a way that I could tell his teeth were clenched tightly together. That was the only thing that was out of place on his usually cheerful face.

Feeling bad for looking away from him so fast, I didn't want him thinking that I was still boiling mad at him. I wanted to fix our friendship, not hurt it further. I looked at him again, trying to keep my face from looking to anxious. I only looked for a few moments before a voice caught my attention.

"What the heck are you doing, Lils?" Beth asked me, well maybe I should say finally noticing me. I think that it is going to take mw a while before I get my head wrapped around that idea of sharing Beth. I know it makes me sound very possessive, but we have been best friends since we were seated next to each other that first day at Hogwarts. And since then we have been always together at times. I do love Alice, but I have only really been best friends with her for four years. Beth and I have been through thin, thick, and even thicker together. I just am not used to sharing her.

"Oh, nothing really important. Just looking around, seeing who is here and stuff." I replied. I knew both Alice and she knew what I was doing; Alice just chose not to bother me about it.

"Okay, you have fun with that." Beth said while looking exasperatedly at Alice. I could almost hear the chorus of She is looking at James Potter that I know was going through their heads.

When I was sure that they were once again deep in conversation, I looked over at James again. He was not looking at me anymore, but I could tell by the way he was trying not to smile that he had only just looked away.

I finished the rest of the meal staring at my plate only peeking up occasionally to look at him to once again assess the mood he was in. After dinner was over I said goodnight to Beth, Eric, and Alice and left for the Head's Common Room. I left quickly because I didn't want to explain what I was so flustered about. I needed to get upstairs to the bathroom so that I could wash my face.

"Okay, you can do this, Lily. Just be direct, don't start talking about something else first. As soon as he comes through the door ask him what he has to say. Then hopefully, try to forgive him because you guys need to be friends again." I said giving myself a pep talk in the mirror as I dried my face.

I decided that the best way to go about this is to just be natural. So I grabbed my copy of Twilight and headed downstairs to go sit in one of the huge armchairs in front of the fire.

I tried reading the story, but I just didn't have the patience for idle reading. Well, at lease look like you are reading so that he will not know immediately that you are waiting for him.

When I heard the door swing open, I nearly jumped out of my skin. It always happens to me like that even though I was waiting for it, expecting it even. I still jumped as if it had taken me completely by surprise.

"You still up, Lily? What are you doing up, it is nearly midnight. You never stay up this late. Is something wrong?" James asked as he walked across the room towards me after dropping his bag down at the table.

"I was…" I began. Oh, God why is it that as soon as I look into those hazel eyes that I forget what I was about to say. I took a deep breath and tried again. "I was waiting to talk to you." I just barely whispered you, totally without a clue as to how he would respond.

"Well, that is interesting. Why don't we discuss this?" He said in a, well I am not exactly sure what his tone was, as he leaned against the fireplace with his arms crossed in front of him. "So Lily Evans, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I want to know what happened from your side. I want to know what your side of the story was." I said still looking into his twinkling eyes.

"What happened, when? I don't think I know the exact incident that you are referring to." He said, his mouth curving into a wicked half smile to match his flashing eyes.

"The night I came down here and found you kissing, that, that girl." I exasperatedly stated standing up from my chair. I was getting angry because he was being unnecessarily difficult, and he was bloody enjoying it!

"Oh, you want to hear it? Well, I will tell you the whole story. I was waiting for you. I had everything ready: the table was cleared. I had every candle in the room burning to make sure that we had enough light. I was over prepared for the first time I can even remember. And then Lucy came. She took one look around the room, and said that I was a hopeless fool. That I should just give up like a certain girl. That that girl didn't want me, would never ever want me. I should just give up because it was never going to change. I should just go out with her because she said that she wanted me. And then she just grabbed me, and plastered her body against me. And then, to make everything a million times worse, who should walk in but you. I understand that it must not have looked good for me. But I trusted that you, Lily Evans, to at least let me get to tell my side of the story. Instead you jump to the wrong conclusion, and storm out of the room, but not before calling me a liar. Lucy just looked up at me with a pitying expression and said that she didn't know why I even bothered. I told her to go fly up a tree, among other things. But it was too late. Out tentative friendship was shattered." James finished, speaking quickly, his eyes flashing dangerously in the firelight.

I felt really sick inside. Looking back on it I realized that I hadn't let him speak his side. I had just decided what happened in my mind and closed it to any other possibilities. He had no reason to lie to me now; he thought that he had nothing more to lose where I was concerned. I had always prided myself on being open-minded and not jumping to conclusions. I guess my only defense was that I was not thinking rationally. I had burned all of our bridges over my prejudices. I was so sick with myself right now. No wonder he was angry, he really hadn't done anything wrong.

"James I…" I started to say, but I could not finish it. I truly did not have a clue what to say to make it better. If there is anything that one can say when they are informed that they went against their basic principles.

"Hey, listen Lily. I don't exactly blame you. I know that it did not look good for me. If I had been in your shoes, I would not have even listened to me." James said in a small attempt at humor. It was nice of him to try, but it only succeeded in making me feel the same, if not a little tiny bit worse about the whole stupid situation.

I knew that if I told him that I was sorry that he would forgive me without a second thought, because that is just the type of person that he is. But I was not sure if I sure if he would really mean it, or if it would be enough to patch the rift that had grown between us. There was only one thing that I wanted to try. I figured that I had nothing to lose so I tried it.

I walked across over to stand in front of him. I stood there for a second before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his chest. I had to calm myself, so I took a deep breath. And by doing so, I got a large concentrated smell of the vanilla and cinnamon smell that was and is uniquely him.

"I am really sorry, James. For not listening and not giving you a chance to explain what happened, but most importantly breaking up our friendship. I am sorry James." I said into his black sweater, just breathing in his heavenly smell.

He moved his hand to hold my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Of course I forgive you. I think I actually forgave you about a week ago, only I just never got a chance to tell you." He said while looking into my eyes.

While I was still able to think semi-coherently I decided to ask the do-or-die question of the night. "Do you want to be friends again, James?" I said trying not to sound too hopeful, unfortunately I think that my eyes were giving away.

He looked into my eyes for a while before pulling me against him in a comforting hug. "I accept." He whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine.

I stood there a while longer just content to be standing in his arms. Then I decided that it was time to go because I wanted to be able to write all this down while it was still fresh in my mind. I know that I had declared that there was no way that I could forgive him after what happened. And I was wrong; I can and have forgiven him. I don't think that I will ever be able to fully forget it though. But hopefully I can tuck it away in my mind and not let it stress me for the rest of my life.

So now I am going to go to sleep because I hope that my dreams will be pleasant and peaceful.

Author's Note: Yeah, James finally got his side of that night told. I know that some of you readers have been waiting for this chapter for a long time. I really hope that you like it. I personally really like this chapter because I just really liked that it was the first time that you really get a peek into the workings of James Potter's mind. Although if you want, soon you will be able to get a better look into his mind because I hope to post Charming A Flower, Charmed Love from James POV. I don't know if I should make it a diary or not. Dairy would be nice because then it would be so much more personal. Not, because I really do not see James Potter devoted enough to writing one to keep up with all the entries that I would need to have to tell the story. But I personally have a hard time imagining him having a dairy at all. But maybe that is just me.

Please review and tell me what you think.

Love Allison