I don't own this.

Here's an interesting factoid. I saw a story written about situation A, and everyone thought it was going to be situation B, and now I'm writing B, and everyone thinks it's A. True irony.

….

It's an odd fact of life that the faster one needs something done, the slower it will go. Ziva would probably have botched the idiom as "the watched pot calling the cat black", or some such.

Speaking of cats…

"Good kitty. Now just one more swab, and you can go play with your friend."

Abby was having way too much fun with her latest evidence. Gibbs walked in with a Caf-Pow.

"What-"

"Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs! These guys are so cute! Where are Tony and McGee? How's Ziva? I have to go see her!"

"Tony and McGee are still working Ziva's apartment, and Ducky says she's still in surgery. Do you have anything yet?"

"Well, there's two types of blood on them- one matches Ziva's type, one doesn't, and I'm running the DNA already-"

With the usual impeccable timing, one of Abby's machines dinged.

"I've been analyzing what I presume is Ziva's blood- whoa."

"Whoa what?"

"Whoa, Ziva's estrogen levels are way up, which means-"

"She's pregnant."

"Why do I get the feeling you already knew that?"

"That's why she got her neighbor to scoop the cats' litterboxes."

….

Ducky crouched next to Ziva's hospital bed and put his hand on her cheek, trying to avoid the bandage around her head.

"Oh, Ziva, who did this to you?"

He picked up her medical chart and sifted through it. This is not good- oh my. Opening his phone, he punched in Gibbs' number.

"Hey, Duck. How is she?"

"It doesn't look good. She's on a ventilator, and they're trying to run some tests to figure out what's going on, if anything… But that's not all. It says here that Ziva is pregnant."

"Yeah, I noticed."

"How on earth did you- never mind." He sighed quietly, glancing over at Ziva again. "It seems our dear Israeli friend has been keeping a few secrets."

…

"Hey look, a diary."

"What?"

"Never heard of a diary, Probie?"

Tony flicked it open, rifling through it.

"Hey! That's Ziva's!"

"There could be something in here, like she knew- knows who did this…"

McGee hadn't missed Tony's inadvertent use of the past tense. He grabbed the diary from Tony. A photo fell out. He gasped.

"What's the matter, Mconcerned?"

"Tony, this is an ultrasound photo."

"What? That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, I guess Ziva's got a roll in the oven…"

"Bun. You just did a Ziva."

"Okay, Tony, shut up."

Tony called Gibbs on his cell phone. "Hey, Boss… We found this photo in Ziva's diary… How is she?"

"It doesn't look great… You never know, though. She's tough… What photo?"

"It's an ultrasound photo. That means there's a mini ninja-"

"DiNozzo!"

"Sorry, boss!"

"McGee, can you smack him for me?"

….

Author note: Thank you for the wonderful reviews. I would like some more. I promise all will be explained in the end. Actually, a little before the end, but by the time this fic ends, you will understand.