She Says, He Says, She Says

Disclaimer: I do now own any of the Twilight characters, however, any and all OC do belong to me. So love or hate 'em every character you read about started off as a nobody. But if they are able to emit some kind of feeling, sensation or spark of energy then my work here is done...for the moment at least.

Her focus is…off? Not really it's just shot at this point. She sees the professor at the head of the class, his lips moving, hands gesturing and there's a slight smile on his face because he truly not only believes in what he's talking about but he also loves it. Sociology the study of human behavior; a deeper look into the origins of human civilization, institutions and the growth and development of society as a whole and broken down not just on the man level but into smaller racial, gender and age groups.

A part of her enjoys all of her theory-based classes like sociology, philosophy and even psychology. Maybe because at some point in her life something has come up that has made her question her place within society, her morals and perceptions of reality and finally her own sanity. After all she went from being an average teenage girl struggling to make a life for herself on a reservation to suddenly becoming a giant canine. If that wasn't the foundation of a thesis paper to talk about the relational changes based upon societies expectations of women vs. men, culture, religion and duty then what was?

But thinking about writing a thesis paper is the furthest thing from her mind. Leah's eyes take in the movements of her professor giving off the impression that she is still the attentive student as her body automatically nods at the right points, looks down as if taking notes at the main points and even turning pages. Even the classroom has societal rules and expectations.

All of this is ignored as Leah's mind races over the conversation she had with Ted just a few hours ago. For some reason what he had said won't just leave her alone, his words keep scrambling up to the forefront of her thoughts.

It was his talk of purpose, balance and responsibility.

She had already fulfilled the first and final main points that he had brought up. Her purpose was to protect humans from vampires and rip them to pieces with her fangs and claws. Her responsibility was the same thing, to patrol, back-up her brothers and look out for her family. She did all of those things and sure she may have bitched, whined and complained along the way it didn't change the fact that she stuck to it. The Elders themselves had freed her from her duty to the tribe.

And why had they done such a thing?

Because there wasn't any need for her to continue running around the reservation sniffing out for something that wasn't there. Vampires had wandered into the wolves' territory but one look at Leah and they began explaining that they were there to visit the Cullens and then it was her job to 'escort' them to their final destination. Sometimes it infuriated her because she felt like an oversized dog being walked by her masters and the vampires carefree attitude toward their escort didn't ease the insult.

Vampires were no longer the threat that legend had made them out to be and even if they had 'killed' anyone the Cullens were quick to explain the incident away. It was a 'simple' mistake was always the excuse and it disgusted Leah that Jacob was always so forgiving and willing to cave into Bella and his beautiful, precious, sweet, loving and kind and intelligent and –

"Is everything alright, Leah?" Prof. Coleman asks snapping Leah out of her thoughts.

Shaking her head seems to have cleared the cataracts of old memories away as she is reintroduced to the present. Looking around Leah finds herself the center of attention as there are some looks of worry, fear and concern. She is only vaguely aware that she had started growling while caught up in the thoughts of Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

"S – Sorry, sinuses sometimes give me some problems." Leah says quickly with an apologetic smile. She clears her throat and even sniffs a few times as if she was suffering from a bit of congestion. The act relaxes the class as they all slowly turn back to pay attention to the professor.

"You really need to get those sinuses checked out." Leah looks over at the boy sitting next to her. "It sounded as if you were growling but like a really, really big dog." He adds with a small smirk on his face. "I've got a mastiff at home and my uncle a Great Dane but you'd scare them shitless sounding like that." He teases and Leah can't help but snort at him before looking away.

This was a perfectly good reason for why she didn't need to go back to La Push. Just the mere thought of all the adjectives Jacob could and would use to describe his imprint still put her in a dark and foul mood. Maybe it was partly because none of them loved her as Ted had so put it in his mocking, sarcastic and cynical manner but what was wrong with trying to find love on her own and in her own way? The world didn't revolve around Jacob Black's ass and besides –

A sharp nudge brings Leah back as she becomes aware that she was growling again.

She gives her neighbor an appreciative smile before trying to pay attention to her professor again which turns into a FAIL.

It's obvious that dealing with her Alpha – former Alpha – that it only brings about feelings that aren't happy, carefree and joyous. It's not that she doesn't care about Jacob because she does…just more than she should. But why should she go back to place where she's just stuck in a mindless rut? Should she really return all to satisfy Ted's own ego because he suddenly feels threatened by the slight bump or promotion within the pack's hierarchy? The so-called 'promotion' wasn't even something that she had realized until she was alone with Ted meaning that the pack hierarchy is defined by the Alpha and it's an unconscious decision made and then subconsciously shared by the rest of the pack.

I'm just not ready to go back.

Leah tells herself with a stern nod of her head in agreement with her own thoughts. It didn't mean that she'd never return to La Push because no matter what the place was her 'home'.

But isn't home where the heart is?

Where is your heart then?

The question rings out loudly in her head seeming to echo from deep within the depths of her soul.

It was both a complicated and simple question at the same time. Her heart was within her chest, beating a rhythm that dictated how her body worked in synchronization. It was also spread out with a piece being held by her mother, Seth had a part, Sam and Emily each had a part despite all attempts to completely rip the organ from their greedy little hands. Each member of the Black family had a part, her brothers as well and even her father had taken a piece of Leah's heart with him when he died. Even now John, Paul, Gio, Leo and even Ted and then there was the family that she was growing to love.

She loved them all very much but…was this really her home? Where she belonged and could start anew?

But start anew what? A new life doing the same thing that she was doing before but with different guys?

They were different but guys were guys. They were her friends as long as it didn't cross the line of becoming something more physical. Physicality is just one of the reasons why things with Sam went so poorly but then did that mean that she should become celibate?

When was the last time you had sex?

A while but I'm not hurting for it.

Of course not because you're a girl and girls don't need sex. We want it.

True.

So what is it that you need? What do you want to get out of this?

I want to – to find myself, find my place in the world. Learn more about myself.

What have you learned from the 'boys'?

Well…I learned that it's alright to sometimes do what I feel is right even if it goes against my nature and mainstream thinking; like Jacob did when he broke off from Sam's pack. Learned that you get out of life what you put into it; like Seth and his perpetually happy mood. No matter what, that only I can define myself…?

Leah begins to run through a quick checklist in her head of the life lessons that she's learned from her brothers back in La Push. She even begins to run through the things that she's learned since joining John's pack; about mountain climbing, learning how to relax and not let the past haunt her and that it's possible to still live a normal life while protecting the tribe.

What else can you learn here that you couldn't learn back there?

The voice continues on speaking to Leah and the idea hits her.

John has sat outside the hallway of Leah's sociology class waiting for her. He always waits for her whenever the two of them share the same shift. He's her ride and loves listening to her talk about what was discussed in class; the way her eyes light up about a topic that she fully grasps and even the small pout that forms on her lips when she's frustrated with trying to understand.

Today is an off day for Leah as John can see that she's not paying attention to what the professor is saying. He can see the far-off look in her eyes, the way her eyes follows the professor's movement as if alert but there's a slightly glossy look to her usually clear hazel eyes that says otherwise. It's a look that has John feeling anxious.

She's listening to her spirit.

He recognizes the look as it is something that he's witnessed in watching his own brothers. It's the spirit taking over the body of its host as the two communes. John's anxiety is stemming from the fact that Leah doesn't seem to be aware of the state that she is in which is always a dangerous situation. The human that cannot control the spirit within is always susceptible to others coming without their knowing or bidding. This is also not the first time that Leah's spirit has taken over her body pushing the girl's mind and control aside for its own goal.

John can hear the growl that is rumbling from Leah with his sensitive ears and watches with a deep frown as the professor snaps Leah out of her thoughts. He can see that it is truly her that makes up the excuse of having a sinus problem.

A sense of helplessness washes over him as just as quickly as Leah came out of her trance she falls back into it. Her spirit even taking notes for her and his eyes darken suspiciously eyeing the woman before him. Again there is the growling but before it can carry on for too long the guy next to her gives her a nudge to bring Leah back again.

Class ends and Leah remains in her seat for a moment as she begins to pack up her belongings. She even pulls out her phone to give her something to focus on besides the word around her, minimal contact to keep the spirit and soul communicating.

John has that sense of being torn once again as his own spirit tells him to leave the girl alone – to trust that everything is alright and that no harm will befall her. But his reason, logic and feelings for the girl say otherwise; they tell him that Leah is being pushed back while she's at school is dangerous. If her spirit can move her body then it means that she can walk into things or worse walk out into traffic. Deep down he knows that Leah has let her spirit lead her to him and his pack with no harm or problem.

It's not that John lacks any faith in Leah's spirit keeping her safe but it's the thought that Leah's spirit will lead her away from him. That the girl that has been brought into his life so unexpectedly can leave just the same. This girl who was a complete stranger has found a way to make it seem as if she's always been here with him; the way she fits in with his family and his pack is a rare thing he's not experienced with anyone before, not even Lisa. Ted has mentioned that the pack's comfort level with Leah all stems from the simple fact that she's a wolf already, she knows the rules, doesn't tease them for their canine slips, that she enjoys belching contests, their all night gaming tournaments and watching action movies. In short, she was a girl that also got along so well with them as guys that it was only natural for them to all like her – she was different from other girls.

John isn't sure if Ted is right or maybe it's just Ted's negative attitude looking to down play Leah's role within the pack but as he stands up, fighting against his spirit's desire that he not block Leah's path, and he looks at her awaiting her to bump into him. He watches as her eyes light up as if a brilliant idea has hit her and a few inches short of walking into him does she stop. Despite himself John smiles down at her seeing the look of pride in her warm eyes and is both relieved and concerned at how quickly her spirit has disappeared.

"Hey John," Leah greets him with a bright smile, a smile that he can't help but return.

"Hey Lily," John returns wrapping an arm around her waist. He watches amused as Leah's eyes widen slightly, the way her heart begins to race as he pulls her closer to his chest. The smile slowly turns into a smirk as he focuses in on Leah's lips, the way her tongue slowly flicks out wetting her lips which he has noticed is an unconscious habit of hers but a very sexy one. He feels emboldened as Leah looks up at him, her chin rising and finally he sees nothing else as his eyes flutter close and he captures her lips in his. Holding her close he kisses her soft lips and lets his worries and insecurities fall off of his shoulders in the moment. It's a vain attempt to hold onto something that is frivolous, fleeting and unsustainable.

He's not sure exactly how he'll manage to hold onto something that is so rare, so imbalanced and seeking freedom but he'll figure it out somehow. There is no explanation – logical or otherwise – for why he feels this pull towards a girl that he hadn't trusted nor wanted to trust the moment he laid eyes on her.

All John knows is that as he walks down the hallway with his arm wrapped around Leah's shoulder, leading her to his car, hearing her talk about her day and that is that he'll do anything for her – anything to keep her.

He stands on the outskirts of an invisible line that he knows that he shouldn't cross, the hairs on the back of his neck stands up and he takes in a deep and unnecessary breathe. An even more pointless swallow follows as his brow furrows and he tries to see something that isn't there but he knows exists. Time has no meaning to him or his kind but he can feel it slowly ticking by as he awaits her return.

They've been out here running along this invisible barrier trying to find a safe place to break through and carry out the rest of Abby's plan – revenge plan. It's a plan that is starting to seem pointless and the more he thinks about it the more he starts to see them being dicked around by some little spoilt haflling.

A growl catches in Chris's throat as he thinks about the bronze-haired girl that has sent them on this wild goose chase for a girl that probably didn't exist. He and Abby had happened upon the innocent little mutt-whisperer as they were trying to find out about 'Big Red' and the rest of his pack of scraggly mutts. She had smiled at them and lured them in with her pretty words of the ultimate revenge – an attack on 'Big Red's' heart, a love lost, a girl that was plain and simple. This girl – this Leah was supposed to be the key to breaking down the entire pack, destroying the infrastructure as it were. She, Renesmee as she was called, had stated that this Leah was the only female within the pack and it only took the pair to put together that as wolves an 'Alpha pair' is needed to keep the pack in check and repopulate.

It was all so simple, basic, natural and animalistic that it made complete sense – or at least it should have. The only problem, at least that Chris saw, was if this Leah was so important to Big Red then why wasn't he out looking for her? How was she able to break free of the invisible fence that kept the others locked in? These were the questions that haunted him as he ran along the U.S. and Canadian border trying to find an opening that would lead him to this girl.

Looking up he can smell Abby heading in his direction and only raises an inquisitive eyebrow when she suddenly appears before him.

"Any luck?" Chris asks knowing that she hasn't had any.

"No," She sighs deeply as she shakes her head. "No matter how far I travel eventually I can move north but then…there's the 'danger'." Abby admits with a deep frown as she crosses her arms and looks at the barrier that is keeping her at bay. Her senses are screaming at her that crossing the line is danger, its suicide – that this territory is much more dangerous than the area surrounding Forks. That the threat is very much the same as the wolves but so much more sinister.

"So?" Chris asks snapping her out of her thoughts.

"So…it's much too dangerous." Abby says narrowing her eyes at Chris. "If this Leah does exist then she's definitely crossed over into a pack that is much more serious and deadlier than these mutts."

"So…it'd seem that we've come across an impasse." Chris says with a bitter chuckle as he scratches the back of his head. "Meaning that we need to go back to our source and really see what she knows." Chris says with a devilish smirk. Despite their dislike for one another Abby finds herself unable to hold back her own smile that is full of mischievous glee.

If Re-ne-se-me didn't want to play nice then Chris was definitely the one to get anything and everything out of her.

"Well then…lets go pay the Princess a visit then, shall we?" Abby asks as Chris nods at her and they head back towards Forks.

A/N: So! I finally did it! The words finally came to me and I've been able to put them down on paper. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long but I've been struggling with some serious writer's block - trying to sift through other story ideas to clear my head enough to focus. Now whether or not I've found it permanently or just for the night I won't lie - I'm not sure. But something is better than nothing, right? Right.

So you all know what to do: Be Kind and Review! ^-^ If you don't then eh, we'll just never get to know each other and that's just a damn shame but that's your loss and not mine.