Author's Note: I would just like to start out by saying that I hope all of you readers out there had a terrific Christmas. (Well, those of you who celebrate it.) I got the rest of the Austen Books something that I am very excited about because I am half-way done with Mansfield Park. And I am done with Frankenstein, the book I was reading for school.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lily Evans or James Potter. We all know this so I think that I am just going to get started with the writing the chapter. =)

Charmed Love Chapter 18

November 13

Hospital Wing

Some people say that your friends know you better than you know yourself. I can say that I think that I have proved this theory true with my very existence over the past three days. They see past all of your fake pretenses, and confront the very heart of the matter.

So needless to say, they were not all honestly thrilled to hear the news that I had decided that I agreed to become Eli Chatfield's girlfriend. Well, sure they all acted surprised to hear that I had finally grown up and started my own relationship, but I think that that is as far as it went. Actually Beth went completely in the opposite direction…

But I am getting ahead of myself; because there were about three days that went by that I had kept it to myself. I had needed to prepare myself for what they were going to say because I could not bear it to act like everything was all right with my life. I just could not see any of my friends during those three days.

And as much as I hate to admit it, especially down on paper where it has gone on record of my saying it, I became the one who was avoiding James. I knew that if I was going to successfully get through this, without having spontaneous break downs in the middle of Hogwarts, that I was going to have to avoid all contact with his at all costs.

I spent the first day in a bubble, refusing to voluntarily talk to anyone, and only giving very small answers when someone asked me something, because doing otherwise would just be plain rude.

I did talk to Eli, but the conversation was tense and uncomfortable. I can only pray that he just attributed that to the fact that I was nervous about the fact that I had a boyfriend, and that I did not want to screw up our relationship so soon. Which is partly true, but the main reason was that I had to constantly stop wishing that the conversation would be over.

I left the class as soon as I could so that Eli did not even get a chance to kiss me goodbye. Which in hindsight was probably a really mean thing to do, but I just needed to get out so that I could just take a deep breath without anyone asking any questions of me.

The next day, I started to talk more to my friends, but I never was the one to initiate the conversations. We just talked about superficial things: our homework, school in general, and occasionally the weather.

I refused to talk to any of the Maurders because I would just not know what to say to them, because I could have bet you anything that James had already told him something was up with me. Probably about how he was free of my unwanted attentions, because against popular notion among the Slytherins, James does not hurt people's feelings without some remorse. And I know that he would not want to ruin our friendship in any way.

I walked into Defense Against the Dart Arts that day with very mixed thoughts. I knew that I had to just put the thoughts of uncertainty out of my mind if I was going to be able to carry on a conversation with Eli to any success.

"So," He said as I walked across the classroom to take my seat that was not too far from his. "Have you been having a good day today, dear?" He asked using the endearment that he had taken to calling me.

"It has just been the same as always. Nothing special ever really happens in Charms." I replied as I took my bag off of my shoulder to dump it on my chair.

"Hopefully the day is getting better." He said as he tried to hold my hand that was just hanging by my side. At first I jumped at his touch, but then I remembered that we were dating, and holding hands is acceptable.

But after I remembered that I share this class with my friends, and they did not know that I was dating Eli, I removed my hand from his. I looked quickly towards the door only to see that Alice was walking in with Vanessa which meant that Beth too would be on her way soon. "Got to get ready for class." I said by way of explanation under the pretense of getting my books out of my bag.

However, he did not miss the quick glance that I sent to the door just a second after I removed my hand. He looked, and then when he saw that it was just my friends, he proceeded to loop his arm around my shoulders, which I quickly shrugged off. "What? It is just your friends that came in, it was not Professor Czupik. It is not like they do not know that we are going out." He said with frustration at my obvious rejection.

I could not even think of a lie saying that I told him before my blush gave me away. Deciding that it was hopeless, I said "I just have not gotten around to it yet."

"Well, maybe you should think about doing it soon, because it is just ridiculous that they do not know yet." He said looking at me with meaningful eyes.

"I will do it tonight and no later than tomorrow." I said with apologetic eyes. And that was the end of our discussion that day.

On the third day, I resolved to myself when I got up in the morning that I was going to tell my friends what was going on later that night in their dorm room. I knew that I had to do it now because I was pretty sure that things would only go further downhill if I post-poned it any longer. So without further ado I walked downstairs and headed directly to the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory.

I hurried along in the corridors and quickly muttered the password "lemon drops" before practically running up to their room. Unfortunately, only Alice and Beth were there seeing as Vanessa is in Ravenclaw, and therefore, would not here. I decided that the best course of action would be to just tell Beth and Alice and be done with it, but that is the cowardly way out. And even though I may not always appear to be a brave Gryffindor, I just could not sink that low in my own opinion of myself.

As soon as I reached the top of the stairs, I ran over to Alice's bed and started poking her saying "Wake up, Alice." However, seeing as it was only 7:00 in the morning, dear Alice was not up yet. Quickly running out of patience, I just pulled the blankets off of her while delivering an ultimation that had something to do with taking her pillow and dropping it from the Astronomy Tower if she did not get up at once.

Fortunately for me, Beth is a rather light sleeper so I was saved from having to do through the same process twice, but she is not a morning person. So the look that I received from her was very disgruntled to say the least.

Alice did finally get up and after looking at clock, gave me the most scathing glare as she asked "What the bloody hell could be so important that you had to get me up at this ungodly hour?" She spat as she pulled the blankets back onto her bed.

"Well, I…" I began rather nervously, not quite sure how to continue until I could reason out how mad she really was. If she was only play-mad then I could afford to be sarcastic and give her a really stupid response. If she was kind-of mad, I could just give her a round-about answer without really ever answering her question. However, if she was boiling mad (which I had a feeling was the case) then I would just have to tell her the truth, and pray to God that she would not hex me into the next year.

"And consider you response well, because if I think that it is stupid, I might just throw you off of the Astronomy Tower." She said, her eyes shooting daggers. Yes, definitely boiling mad.

"I need to talk to Beth, Vanessa, and you about something that it rather important. Well, maybe not important exactly, but it is kind of something that you might want to know about. I am almost sure that you would be most upset if you were to find out from someone else, and we all know that that would not be pretty at all. So why don't we all save the rest of the school a little anxiety, and just let me tell you all in person, before you find out from someone else. Unless you all would like to hear what I have to say from someone else, then be my guest I really don't care all that much…" I went on and on just babbling hoping to buy myself a little time so that her temper could return to its normal level.

"Well, maybe I do just want to find out about whatever it is that is just so important from someone else." Alice said as she made the little quotation marks in the air that she knows annoy me so much.

"Nonsense." Beth said waving her hand dismissively in the direction of Alice's bed. "I most certainly do not want to hear about this from an outside source because then it will just be so much harder to believe, and in truth, most of the details will be screwed up or lost by the time that we would ever find out about it." And in this I knew that she spoke from experience, because after Eric and she broke up, the news spread through the castle like wildfire. We did hear what-really-happened from Marlene MacKinnon (a really nice girl that is one year younger than us) and let me just suffice to say that it was way off of the mark.

"Oh, God. All right, I am moving." Alice sighed as she rolled out of her bed and stomped off to the bathroom so that she could was her face and change into her school robes. "But don't think that this means that you can just wake me up any old time you decide to tell us some long hidden secret that you have. Because it will not work." She called from the opposite side of the door.

"Thanks for the help." I muttered to Beth. Beth is kind of Alice and my medium. Because I have a feeling that Alice and I would get into way to many arguments if she was not there, because Alice is too hot-headed and excitable whereas, I just don't tend to get involved in fights unless it is someone that I really truly care about.

"Don't mention it." She said back with a really strange cast to her voice that sounded almost speculative. When I looked at her, I saw that she was looking at me with a very concentrated expression, almost as if she were trying to speculate what I could possibly need to tell them.

After Alice and Beth were both dressed we went down to get Vanessa from the owlery. She spends the mornings there because she loves the fresh air that she can get, and because she says that it helps clear her mind.

And as I thought about what I had to do that morning, I decided that it would be the best place to tell them the news of my dating Eli. I didn't want them to start getting upset before they had the time to think it out rationally.

When we got to the owlery, needless to say Vanessa was very surprised to see us out this early. However, before she had anytime to inquire as to why we were here, Beth said, "Lily has something that she really needs to tell us, I think that it could be important." To which Alice muttered "better be important" under her breath.

I decided that this moment was as good as any, so I just went right out and said, "I am dating Eli Chatfield. He asked me out a few days ago, and I told him that I would go out with him. It all happened really quickly, but I figured that I would rather you hear it from me than anyone else, and after all it is only a matter of time before everyone else in the school finds out."

After I finished there was a few moments of silence when all they could to was stare at me with duplicated looks of surprise, frustration, exasperation, and forced happiness.

Vanessa was the first one to say anything, "That is great, Lily. I am really happy for you. I have Herbology with Eli, and I know that he is a really great guy. I mean I have never considered him in that light because he is really not my type, but I am sure that you will be very happy dating him. I am just so happy that you are not alone anymore." She said with a sincere smile, or at least what she seemed to think was a sincere smile.

I looked at Vanessa and I felt an overwhelming surge of thanks that she was one of my closest friends. I could always count on her to look for the silver lining in almost every situation. I had been afraid that she would have been angry that I had not told her, because she is something of a gossip. It is not the fact that she spreads needless rumors about people, but she just loved the knowing part that goes along with secrets. I knew that I could trust her to keep this to herself if I asked her too, until I was ready for everyone in the school to know about Eli and me.

Alice just looked at me with an expression that said more than what she said. She said that she had not expected me to go out with Eli, but as she has never had a conversation with him, she did not think that it was horrible that I was going out with him. Her expression on the other hand said: Why is Lily doing this? I completely thought that she was going to go out with someone else. And I am sure that this Eli character is a nice enough guy, but I thought she had her sights set on another guy, particularly one that has messy black hair and hazel eyes. What is she thinking?

I tried not to let her expression bother me seeing as it was completely correct. But I could not let her know that, so I replied with something like "He is a really great guy, I am very lucky to have him." Knowing that it was true, but also knowing that I was not in love with Eli.

Beth on the other hand…well she just kind of lost it. "What the hell do you mean that you are dating Eli Chatfield? I have seen you two together, and I have never seen any special attachment between the two of you. I cannot believe that you would do something like this." She said as she walked closer to me so that we were standing face to face.

I took a deep breath before I responded, "I have always liked Eli, we can talk really easily, and I feel comfortable around him. And I have never really talked about him because I did not think that you would be interested with the little details of my life."

"The little bloody details of your life?" She repeated scathingly before she went on. "Lily, you know just as well as I do that you do not have any truly special feeling for Eli. I know that you like James even though you refuse to admit it. You are scared that if you tell him that you love him that he will turn you down, or better yet," she went on mercilessly, "He might have feeling for you and them you would let him inside of you and he would dominate your every thought, and then you would not be in control of yourself, it would not be rational." She spat at the end, mocking me and how I never took any risky chances.

"That is not true." I said because I really did not have anything else that I could say in this situation. "I do care about Eli and I would never do something that cold-blooded just because I was scared of what could happen with James." This was only partly a lie because I had partly decided to go out with him as a thought out decision and not in a passionate moment.

"You make me sick, did you know that?" Beth announced as she started to back away from me as if I carried a deadly disease, and she did not know who I was. "I cannot believe that you could have ever done something like this. And what makes it all the worse this time, is that I think that you know that you have fallen in love with James. If you had still been delusional about your feelings towards him, I might have been able to let this pass. But you know that you love him, and you are only going out with Eli because you think that you will somehow be able to get over James." She said as she stood in front of the door with her hand resting on the doorknob. "I don't think that I can be your friend anymore, if you can do this. Come and tell me when you get your head back on straight and maybe we will be able to become friends again. But otherwise, we are through." She said as she swept from the room.

I stood there looking at the door for the next few minutes with Vanessa and Alice both looking at me with uncertain looks on their faces. Sensing that Alice was about to say some conciliatory remark, I quickly walked out of the room with a barely muttered "I will talk to you later."

I hurried down the stairs and just started towards the bathroom. When I pushed open the bathroom door I quickly hurried to the sink where I just let the tears that were stinging my eyes fall down into the drain. I knew that one of my friends had to have been bound to notice that I had taken a fancy to James, and I knew that the news of my relationship with Eli would have come with a shock, but I never pictured Beth and I having a friendship ending fight.

I stayed there for a few moments as I just let my grief consume me. Everything was just not going the way it should be.

When I felt that I had collected myself enough that I would not start crying again in the hallway, I left to go to the Hospital Wing because I was not feeling good at all. My head was feeling dizzy and I knew that I only had a limited amount of time.

I walked into the Hospital Wing and just walked into Madam Pomfrey's office. I told her that I was not feeling well, and then everything started to spin, and the floor was rushing up to my face, and then everything just went black.

~*~

I came partly back to consciousness when I felt a very warm hand slip in mine. It was really big and very comfortable, and somehow I remembered that hand from somewhere in my memory. Wanting to know who it was, I barely opened my eyes to find that James Potter was sitting in the edge of my bed holding my hand.

When he saw that I had awoken and had opened my eyes and said "I heard that you were not feeling well, and I just had to come and see you for myself. But now that you are up, I guess that I can go." He said as he started to get up from my bed.

A flood of panic swept through me, I did not want him to leave. "Please don't go." I asked sleepily holding his hand tightly, as if that would somehow keep him here.

"Don't worry. I am not going to go anywhere. I will stay here until you fall asleep again." He said with a small smile, his eyes looking straight into mine.

With that I closed my eyes and went to sleep, knowing all the while that he was there and that as long as he was by my side and holding my hand, I would be safe. And I floated back off into unconsciousness, with a contented smile on my face.

Author's Note: Well, I really hope that you all enjoyed that. I know that it was a little shorter than last time, but I knew that if I dragged it out any longer, it would lose its spark. And I know that most of you are probably thinking that since I have Eli in there now as Lily's boyfriend that there will not be any more Lily/James fluff. However, I think that I have shown you by the end of this chapter that it will not completely disappear from the story.

As always…Please leave me a review with your thoughts from this chapter.

Love Allison