Dawning Realizations
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.
There's an ache – a dull, hollow ache that seems more of an irritant than a pain. He'd like to feel some kind of relief, sense of success, freedom but instead is the dull aching and questioning stares. The pale skin that used to seem to shine and look like silk is now bruised a horrendous coloration that reminds him of rancid meat or maybe it's the combination of the state of her skin and stench that covers her. She smells of rotting flesh, dried metal, pus, sweat and antiseptic. This new smell coming from her body and being coupled with the already powerful stench of the vampires makes Jacob's stomach churn and his throat dry.
He'd threatened to kill her if she crossed over into his territory without permission, sure, but this attack upon her – Edward and Bella, as well – just seemed so much more ruthless than even his pack is capable of. Thoughts immediately tell him that it's only shock; he's shocked that his imprint is in this state and that eventually the whole ramifications of what has happened will hit him like an eighteen wheeler. Once the realization takes hold that he'll cave in on himself, guilt will consume him and his undying love, devotion and adoration will return a hundred fold. The same thought process telling him, reassuring him that her pain will become his pain.
However, there's an underlying…feeling, something more deep and meaningful to him, states the opposite. That his presence isn't forced, that he does not stick around because she is his imprint and that if he wanted to he could escape the room. That he is staying of his own free will, mainly because despite the hard feelings that he may have towards the tiny little girl laying in the bed that he has known her all her life, that the two of them have shared moments – there is a bond between them. This bond isn't all-consuming or constricting – restricting – but is something natural.
You have a big heart.
The statement sounds out clear in his mind as if it's a memory, a long and nearly forgotten memory.
Letting out a heavy sigh Jacob shifts his weight back and forth on his feet as if testing to see if he can move freely or if he'll be rooted to this particular spot in the room. The smile that may have escaped with just another few seconds of silent reflection is wiped away as Sam's voice interrupts him.
"Jacob, are you alright?" Jacob turns and looks back at Sam. Ever since Leah's departure and Jacob's take-over, the two have been on thin ice with one another. Sam's role within the pack has been the most talked about subject matter, behind closed doors, not literally as with a pack mind there were no secrets, but never within earshot of the two once rival males. Sam was the 'unofficial' Beta of the pack despite that Embry, Quil and even Seth had worked more closely with him for a much longer time.
Jacob can hear the double meaning behind Sam's question. It is not only a question of 'how are you holding up knowing that the leeches got away' but also 'does it hurt – seeing your imprint like this'. Jacob doesn't answer Sam right away and turns his attention back to Renesmee and looks at her face or what once was her face. Her eyes are swollen shut and her cheeks that were once thin and almost sallow are puffed out making it looks like she was suffering from the mumps. Carlisle had mumbled about how bad her condition was to Esme while asking for certain items to help save their granddaughter's life. Her bones had healed up incorrectly but Carlisle had wanted to heavily sedate Renesmee and ensure that she was not suffering from any internal bleeding before attempting to re-break her bones. A courtesy, or rather a luxury, that Jacob was not afforded when his own ribs had been broken but mostly because his body just burned the morphine away.
"I'm pissed," Jacob growls out as his answer.
It was the best answer he could come up with at the moment without having to think up full and coherent sentences or even bothering to phase to share his feelings. The main point being that he wasn't in agony that his imprint, that this little girl had been hurt. It angered him that the vampires had hurt another person, regardless of her family, but there is no denying that it happened off his territory. The borders hadn't been lifted until Seth had mentioned the vampires possibly having Renesmee.
Why?
Jacob steps forward and narrows his eyes down at Nessie letting the question and all the possible answers play over inside his head. Why had the two vampires taken Renesmee? They couldn't have seen the connection that the two had together, could they?
No.
Of course not, because neither exhibited signs of being mind-readers. Otherwise they would've known that the wolves were Native Americans, that his name was Jacob and not 'Big Red' and that they were just as shocked to realize that they had an invisible leash tied around their necks.
Information?
If the vampires were after information about the wolves then why not approach the Cullens as a whole?
Obvious answer.
Jacob growls already knowing the answer; he'd be wary about approaching a new pack of wolves if he was grossly outnumbered. There was no guarantee that the ones you were going to see would be friendly. The entire vampire world may have heard of the Cullens but who was to say that any newborns that came along over the last six years did or didn't know them? It was better to err on the side of caution.
But if the vampires were merely interested in Renesmee and maybe wanted to ask her about the wolves…was beating her worth the effort? Did they get the information out of her?
How much?
And if so, how much did she tell them? Worst of all did she –
"JACOB!" Jacob winces as he hears Bella's voice screeching downstairs.
The somber silence that had fallen upon the Cullen mansion has been shattered with Bella's awakening and her re-unification. It was his group that happened upon the massacre of Bella and Edward Cullen while Alice and Jasper stood waiting for a vision to appear that would help pinpoint the exact location. Jacob had then taken off, scattering his meager party out in hopes of finding some sign and find some signs they did.
Bella and Edward both had been quartered and then decapitated. It was sickening to see their dislocated limbs moving, writhing, wriggling and crawling along the forest floor trying to reassemble back into one whole being, one entity. Edward's fingers were crawling, carrying his hand as if it was 'Thing' of the Addams Family. Bella's leg that still had a foot attached was using a combination of the tip of her shoe and heel of her foot to shuffle along as well. The whole scene looked like something out of some sick B horror movie that is just too sick and graphic for the mainstream but could possibly become a cult classic.
The Quileutes knew only how to destroy vampires not put them back together and the limbs only seemed to become more…panicky when a wolf approached. The whole ordeal making the scene quite possibly look comical to an outsider as a few wolves would cautiously approach some strange and new object but quickly jump back when the thing made a sudden move. Fortunately, Seth had run off and gathered Jasper and Alice who after a moment's hesitation of shock, surprise and, oddly enough, horror, set to work in gathering up the pieces of their family.
Letting out a sigh, Jacob turns and walks out the door followed by Sam, Embry and Paul to either see what Bella is upset about, which in her defense could be quite a bit, or help even out the odds in the unavoidable confrontation that was going to happen.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, her foot tapping impatiently Bella bites back a growl hearing Jacob's sigh coming from the medical room where Nessie is – her Nessie. She can taste the venom pooling in her mouth wondering why Jacob, or the rest of his mutts, felt that they had any right to be in the same room as Renesmee while she was healing. It was Jacob's fault that Renesmee had been attacked in the first place. If he had been doing his job as an imprinted wolf, doting, consoling and catering to her every whim, interest and likes then none of this would've occurred. Renesmee would've been safe and sound. The three vampires, not two because if Jacob had been following orders, then the vampires would not be on a bloody rampage across the Olympic Peninsula and would've moved on to find suitable feeding grounds elsewhere.
Bella waits as Jacob walks down the stairs followed by the few members of his pack that for some reason Carlisle felt, what? The need? Obligated? Or some sense of politeness to allow them inside? Bella steps back, wanting to put some distance in between her and the huge stinking, smelly brutes before her. Her eyes quickly appraise them all; all only wearing worn old shorts, their naked torsos out for the world to see. Each carrying a certain muscle tone of their own showing where a particular area of strength is favored over another; such as arms, shoulders, neck or chest. Her nose crinkles in disgust noticing the dirt on their skin, under their fingernails and even on their bare legs.
Filthy, overgrown, mangy men.
That's what they looked like to her and it only seemed to reassure her that she made the right decision in picking Edward Cullen over Jacob; although there was never really a choice to be made. Quickly throwing a side glance towards the mirror on the wall next to the stairs, Bella can't help but notice how beautiful, young and clean she looks. Her pale skin still glows, is flawless and white showing a distinct contrast between hers and Jacob's.
"What is it, Bella?" Jacob asks with an exasperated sigh snapping Bella out of her personal thoughts. His lack of patience with her is evident as he crosses his arms and his head rolls to the side.
"What do you think you're doing?" Bella demands narrowing her eyes and fighting the urge to spit – spit venom in Jacob's huge, hard and dirty face. Jacob only raises an eyebrow showing his confusion at Bella's questioning.
It seemed obvious to him that he was checking up on the one member of the Cullen family that was in the worst shape – Renesmee Carlie Cullen. There was no need for him to check up on her because according to the legends and Carlisle, a very good source, that Edward and Bella, both, would put themselves back together and be back to normal – although a bit irritable. So maybe this attitude shouldn't surprise him?
"You have no right to check up on Renesmee." Bella states with a low growl.
Bella's growl elicits a few growls from the other wolves standing around their Alpha. Jacob knows that Bella's words should elicit some form of emotion in him; an emotion that is more along the lines of hurt, disappointment, guilt and shame. Instead, he feels irritated that she can't even bother to thank him and his pack for helping in the search, for finding her and her husband's scattered and struggling remains out in the forest while Alice and Jasper simply stood awaiting a vision.
"Fine," Jacob states simply, his eyes growing dark with subdued anger.
Bella's eyes widen in surprise as Jacob simply sidesteps her and begins heading towards the door. Despite her anger, Bella expected that her Jacob had finally returned to her. That he was back to being Nessie's adoring wolf and was going to offer up his apologies for hurting her – both of them; for his callous abandonment of his best friend and imprint in their darkest hour of need. Instead, he was walking away as if what she thought and felt didn't matter.
"And where do you think you're going?" Bella hisses at the wolves' retreating figures.
Pausing Jacob turns around slightly surprised by Bella's question. One minute he had no right checking up on Renesmee and the next she's asking him why he's leaving. Confusion takes over his features and he's at a loss of what to do, say or how to respond to Bella.
"What do you want me to do, Bella?" Jacob snaps. "What? One minute you love me, the next you hate me. You don't want me around Nessie then you do and you don't again."
"I want you to apologize."
"Apologize?" Jacob asks, his eyes widening and brow scrunching in confusion. "Apologize for what?"
"You let this happen." Bella states pointing an accusing finger at Jacob.
"Me? Me? How the hell do you figure that? I wasn't there,"
"But you should've been, Jacob. That's the point! You should've been with her and they wouldn't have taken her."
"Bullshit. Two vamps against a wolf aren't my kind of odds." Jacob says shaking his head.
"She's your imprint. Your whole world! You are meant to live, die and kill for her. Nothing else should be more important. But instead you're sitting over there crying over Leah Clearwater." The spectator silence that had previously occupied the living room is broken with a series of growls from the surrounding wolves.
"At what cost, Bella?" Jacob snarls fighting to remain in control. "Those vampires murdered a family with children. And because I had my head up you all's asses is the reason why the vampires haven't been caught sooner. We were all too focused on our imprints to pay attention to the world around us. There's more to life than just 'her' and 'you'."
Bella's eyes widen at Jacob's words.
"You've always been like this, haven't you?" Jacob asks looking Bella up and down, a look of disgust on his face. "Blind to the world around you; so full of yourself that you didn't either give a flying fuck about those around you or warped the world to make it seem as if you were always the hapless victim.
All you ever cared about was Edward and your leeches. Even when I got hurt fighting to protect you,"
"You got hurt because of Leah – not me." Bella interrupts quickly shaking her head. "Did she ever thank you?"
"Did you? All you said was 'sorry' and 'I love you but Edward more'. I chose to save Leah because," Jacob stops talking as his heart clenches and his wolf howls. "I refused to stand by and let her get hurt. She needed help and I gave it. She never asked and never had to. I did it because it was right and not because I could get something from her later.
Leah never used me. You've done nothing but use me and Edward to get whatever you wanted."
"I – I don't know what you're talking about," Bella says weakly, her eyes widening as she unconsciously takes a step back.
"Please, you asked me about the Cullens and like an idiot I told you. You even used me so you could stay here and wait for Edward." Bella's eyes widen in surprise. "Charlie was going to send you Florida to live with Renee but it was where Edward could never get to you because of the sun and there was the chance that your mom would move again. That'd make it hard for Edward to find you, right?"
Jacob's body begins to shake violently as it seems as if the blinders around his eyes and heart have suddenly been removed. Everything Bella did to him that seemed simply as a misunderstanding or mistake now seen as Bella's manipulation – intentional and/or unintentional.
"I wanted to let you got and get on with my life but you still kept pulling me back in." I was your idiot, fighter and savior. All I wanted was your affection but it always had to be on your standards – terms."
Bella stands stunned at Jacob's accusations and realizations.
"And besides why can't you ever do anything? What happened to you? Why didn't you try and help Nessie yourself?"
At the question Bella freezes, her eyes widening as her mind begins to replay what happened. The female vampire running towards her with Nessie on her back and then throwing Nessie – the vampire threw her daughter. She had let that – that monster throw her daughter. She had been useless despite possessing the strength, agility, speed and grace of a vampire she was still unable to fight and protect her daughter – her own flesh and blood.
"We're not your fuckin' dogs – at least not anymore." Jacob states continuing on, shaking his head and making a promise to both the Cullens and his pack. "Our tribe and along with the rest of Forks and Makah comes first. We're no longer protecting the Cold Ones."
Looking up Bella's nostrils flares, her anger building, listening to Jacob's self-righteous speech about what he and his dogs will and won't do for them. She was a vampire and a Cullen. The Cullens didn't need the Quileutes and she didn't like Jacob implying that they were helpless without him.
"We never asked you for your protection or your help. You willingly offered it." Bella snarls.
"Only because I was looking out for you."
"I never asked you to look out for me. I didn't need you, Jacob." Bella hisses venomously. Deep down inside she knows it's a lie. Jacob was warm, kind, caring, joking and didn't treat her like a doll or a toy. Once upon a time she had needed him but once she became a vampire she no longer needed him or anyone else for that matter but Edward and Renesmee. It was him that attached himself to her family, continued on playing the role of the good guard dog for them and now he was trying to hold them responsible for his imprinting.
"Of course, because all you ever needed was Edward."
"That's right. Even after all this time you haven't wrapped your mind around it. It's Edward – it's always been Edward. Always has been and I told you that. I tried to tell you that you were like a little brother to me but that wasn't good enough for you. Your problem is that you always want what you can't and shouldn't have which is why you've gone from me to Nessie and now Leah. You only want Leah because now she's gone – she left you – all of you. You're nothing more than a pack of overgrown, selfish and needy puppies looking for someone to love you, hold you and cater to you. Suddenly your imprints aren't enough? Miss your Lee-Lee and beta?" Bella sneers but it turns into a snarl as Sam takes a step forward but is stopped by Jacob.
"Shut up, you stinkin' bloodsucker." Sam snarls.
"You are in my house and you are the stinkin',"
"I'd watch what I say next if I were you." Paul warns, his body shaking violently. "You talk a good game when Jacob and Edward are around to protect you but if you haven't noticed Jacob isn't your bitch anymore and Edward is still trying to pull himself together. You're alone leech and after your stellar performance out there I don't think you'd put up much of a fight."
"You?" Bella shrieks and launches herself at Paul.
Pain rips through her chest and back causing her to gasp. Opening her eyes she sees Jacob standing between her and his wolves, snarling and growling at them.
"You idiot! We're on their territory and outnumbered." Jacob scolds as Paul shakes out his fur.
She is hit with a blow that causes her chest to tighten. Jacob wasn't yelling at Paul for almost hurting her but because it wasn't strategically smart. He really didn't care that Paul would've ripped her apart.
"Bella?" Looking up the emotional pain subsides as Bella looks over to see Edward standing in the room.
"Edward," Bella calls out quickly running over to her husband and hugging him tightly. "You're awake." She inhales deeply his sweet scent ignoring the smell of dog on him.
Edward looks around confused and in a daze. He'd awaken to the sound of Bella and Jacob arguing in the background as the rest of his family asked how he was feeling. This being the first time Edward had ever been torn apart but having gathered from friends and acquaintances that it was a very traumatic and disorienting sensation.
However, not only was Edward disoriented but he couldn't hear anyone's thoughts. Not Carlisle's or even the wolves who should've been too riled up to control their thoughts.
It hadn't been easy convincing his family to not run to break up the building fight between the two friends. It seemed to a confrontation waiting to happen for many years now as at one point or another, the other was too weak or unable to be truthful and honest about their thoughts and feelings for the other. Jaspers was struggling to keep their emotions in check to ensure that neither escalated to the point of violence but the wolves fluctuating emotions were giving Jasper some troubles which is where the fear has risen. Where Jasper failed Edward always succeeded.
"Bella, drop your shield, please." Edward orders looking at the wolves before him.
The expression on Sam was clearly visible – disgust but Paul, Jacob and Embry were hard to read. The latter two were obviously use to hiding their thoughts from Edward and Paul was still in his wolf form.
"Edward…I – I don't have my shield up." Bella states as she looks up at her husband with a frown of concern.
"What?" Edward asks looking down at Bella in surprise. There's doubt in his eyes as the look at one another and all present can smell the fear starting to build up inside of Edward.
"What's the matter, Edward?" Carlisle asks carefully stepping towards his son. Carlisle isn't quite sure how to treat a vampire just awakened from a near-death experience. It wasn't often that vampires were simply ripped apart and it's obvious that the two nomads did not mean to kill the couple but they weren't trying to escape either.
According to Collin, it seemed as if the male vampire had been lying in wait as the female carried Nessie. All agreed with Jasper when he simply stated 'it was a trap'. If Nessie was the bait then what was the pair after? Did their revenge no longer just involve the wolves? And how did they know about Nessie? Outside of Bella, everyone saw Jacob's rejection of his imprint on Renesmee as a blessing in disguise. They did not have to worry about their Nessie getting involved in a very dangerous situation. Jacob was inadvertently protecting her still without consciously acknowledging the fact.
"Bella, I need you to drop your shield. Maybe in your highly agitated state you've enveloped everyone in it." Edward suggests quickly, his voice teetering on hysterical as everyone around him exchange careful and anxious glances.
"O…okay, Edward, I will." Bella says nodding her head slowly and wanting nothing more to calm and placate her husband. Besides, his panic was starting to frighten her and if Edward wasn't in control of the situation or seemed lost then she knew that she'd be far much worse off.
Taking a deep calming breathe Bella furrows her brow and tries to either expand or shrink her shield.
Nothing.
Letting out a mixed sigh and growl of frustration Bella tries again.
Again, nothing.
Her hands clenching into tight fists as her face scrunches up into a look of intense concentration, her eyes squinting and mouth pulling down into a small, red frown.
"She's getting frustrated." Jasper states with a deep frown, his eyes narrowing at Bella mirroring her own emotions.
"Bella, can you not use your shield?" Esme asks cautiously looking between her son and daughter.
"They've lost their powers." Alice states coming out of a vision that no one else had noticed that she slipped into.
A/N: Alright so sorry for the long hiatus but it's taken me a while to get this chapter to a point where I was satisfied. To be honest, this is what I originally planned but what I would've liked was Jacob knocking the taste out of Bella's mouth but for some reason my logical mind wouldn't have let that occur especially not with Jasper so close by. *sighs* And I couldn't simply write Jasper out because that's not what Jasper would I - at least I think.
But this is my 2nd A/N and I'm going to keep it brief in fear that my laptop will freeze up on me but it was basically me mooning over the Jacob and Seth look-alikes at my gym and waiting for the rest of the WILFs to show up and then leading into a rant about Nessie lovers and how real villians don't just walk away from a fight or let people who annoy them and why it was necessary for Nessie, Bella and Edward to get their butt whooped...and I think something about truth only being achieved through suffering and loss...and I think I mentioned Eric and Pam from True Blood because those are some AWESOME vampires simply because they are so badass and don't give a damn about someone's feelings. So to that person sorry that this isn't the Mary Sue you were hoping for where everyone gets along, the villians turn out to be misunderstood and there's a rainbow with a magical, wish-granting Pegasus pony at the end that ends world hunger, cures cancer (although that would be uber awesome), fixes the economy and suddenly the world is filled with so much wisdom, joy, love and brotherly love that we all contract diabetes, melt down our guns, destroy all movies, books and media that is deemed offensive *coughs*book burnings *coughs* and everyone whose ever been mean to us comes up and apologizes because they didn't mean it - they were simply the by-product of their environment and that now they've been mysteriously filled with the overwhelming sense of...warmth that they just have to apologize - insincerely, of course, because they really didn't learn anything and thereby feel no real sense of regret. So if you're expecting this to be the typical SM story where wolves bow to their superior masters, the vampires, and hold hands singing Kumbaiwa then I regretfully must inform you that this story is not for you but I do appreciate you taking time to read the story thus far as you will only be continually disappointed every step along this journey. =3 So enjoy your summer and maybe you'll be more comfortable with a simple Blackwater one-shot where no pop-shots are made at anyone.
OH! Before I go guess who got a nomination for Best Family story...ME! *squeals* For The Rules of Love and Last. -_-; I forgot the details but if you know Don'tCallMeLeeLee (sorry if I got that character placement wrong) ask her or just wait and I'll get some details to include in my next update. A vote for this story is a vote for another Wake-up Call update. YAY! ALRIGHT! YAY! Did anyone buy that? *shakes head slowly* No...oh, ai'right. LOL. But I hope to get back into the swing of things but my laptop has not been reliable and it's taken me all morning since 7am - it's now 1:38pm - to get this typed up, uploaded and add the A/N. It keeps locking up. But be kind and review.