"Bella Swan"
I was suddenly met with furious eyes and red cheeks, and then he came storming at me his hands shooting out and grabbing me by the arms before shaking me and telling me something that I had wanted to be for so long.
Present:
"SHE'S DEAD AND YOUR NOT!"
As he said this it didn't escape my notice that his eyes had turned a shimmering blue and the drops of water running down his face wasn't the rain that was persistently falling but from the tears I had been too scared to release. The water I hadn't let flow from my eyes since I was young. Relying only on the rain to show my hurt and pain, by feeling as though the sky was letting me know it was sad to.
Whilst I was thinking about the rain I had forgotten about him. I don't think my mouth could form his name again for fear of breaking down and not being able to piece myself back together. Not having the control over myself again, that's a funny word again. To most it means something happening for another time, for me it meant a time I would have to clutch at me and hold onto it for dear life, because again isn't ever a good thing it's just another way in which someone can take advantage of you.
He looked at me with those shimmering blue eyes and I recited how I knew him, how he changed me into what I had become because he had, there was no small part someone plays in another's life, a meeting will always change someone else, for example: you split coffee on someone, they had to go home in that time and change their shirt, because of that they got to work late and were fired because that was the last straw. We all play major parts in others life but we don't like to take any credit or responsibility for doing so, only when and if it suits us. You don't and will never understand that part you played in mine.
"We met on your holiday, I worked as a waitress in a bar which you liked to come to frequently, you liked me cause you found me... unique I still can't work out if that's a good thing but you pitied me cause you knew something was wrong, you dropped me when it became too much and you left me when you just didn't want to know."
As I said my monologue yours eyes got wider, whilst your shoulders drooped lower. It was odd when I was younger to think of you as anything but indestructible because that's what you were to me, someone to lean on when it became too much. Someone to talk to when I just wanted to leave but knew I couldn't, not yet. But standing here now I realise you aren't indestructible, that even through the muscles and the smile there's a man underneath who knows that what I'm saying is true but can't except the part they played in my life, but it's a step in the right direction because you have acknowledged what you have done and maybe dare I say realise that what I say is true and I am in fact Bella Swan.
But that hope, maybe that's the right word, quickly diminished when I looked into those blue eyes. Without saying anything I always knew what you meant as soon as I looked into your eyes, this was no exception. Your mouth started to form words I didn't want to hear, didn't want to listen to. They were excuses; I always told you I hated excuses because that's all they ever gave me, excuses. I guess that's something else you forgot. It wasn't until I heard the lasts words you formed that my head and maybe even my heart were brought back to the present.
"I'm sorry."
Those two words meant so much, yet so little to me. A contradiction to itself because I knew you were sorry but what were you sorry for, for allowing me to be raped and abused which lead me to do what I believed I had to do or sorry that you saw me again so you had to say something like this.
The funny thing is I'm not even sure you knew. I certainly didn't.
Hey everyone, well the people who read this story, no excuse I know I haven't updated in a while, sorry about that, I would like to ask for more reviews because if there is anything you would like to critique or anything please say just no saying my story is completely awful cause this has taken time.
Thanks Rebecke xxxx