Me: Alright! It's time to play truth or dare! Unfortunately, [angrily glares at the camera] almost no one submitted any reviews! Except for Alainawashere ! Thank you very much! Sheesh. You'd think the audience would WANT to participate in a television show! Apparently not.
Skipper: [eagerly] Do I get to slap a hippy?
Me: Unfortunately, no. Not unless SOMEONE SUBMITS A FREAKING REVIEW! I MEAN, WHY? WHY!
Everyone: [staring]
Me: [clears throat nervously] Um, all right. Let's get on with it then. The following was submitted by Alainawashere:
If I had to dare all of them I'd dare them all to wear poofy dresses that are pink (lol)Also, I'd dare skipper to wear a wig,
Private to run around, and try to fly,
Rico to blow up many many things (once again, lol XD),
and Kowalski (Did I spell his name right?) to stay under water for an hour. No breath takes either. :I
Alright I'm done :D
Everyone except Marlene: WHAT?
Kowalski: Not poofy pink dresses! Nooooooooooo!
Skipper: [just stares in shock]
Marlene: What's the problem with that?
Skipper: [looks at her incredulously] What's the problem? WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? This is gonna take away our dignity! Commandos don't wear dresses!
Kowalski: ...Actually, we don't even wear clothes.
Julien: My kingliness cannot be takened away from me, for I am the king that is me!
One hour later...
[They are all in poofy pink dresses]
Julien: Nooo! The royal booty has been shamed with this horrible pinkness! Maurice! Take it out of my sight! It burns my eyes, just like German folk dancing!
Me: We still have more dares, you know!
Skipper: I hate to say this, but Ringtail's right. We are... [sighs dramatically] Shamed! [throws his flippers up in despair]
[everyone (except Marlene) rips their dresses off and give them to Maurice, who tosses them out a random window that appeared out of nowhere]
Marlene: [twirling around in her dress, admiring herself] I look cute!
[everyone looks at her]
[silence]
Me: Awkward... Okay, let's back to those dares! Next up... Skipper!
Skipper: [looking nervous] Okay... I have to wear a wig... N-no big d-deal...
Me: [sarcastically] Oh, really? Okay, then. Bring out the wig, Kowalski!
[Kowalski walks through a door dramatically with steam coming out behind him. He is holding a purple and very extravagant ladies ballroom wig on a silk cushion in one flipper. He removes his goggles with the other flipper and throws them to the side, casually. They hit Rico in the gut, causing him to upchuck a stick of dynamite which flies up at the ceiling and blows it up, causing rain to pour down on them. Everyone glares at Kowalski.]
Kowalski: [speechless] ...I-I-I-I... Uh.. I- It was Rico!
Me: [irritated and sarcastic] Yeah. Sure it was. Now gimme the wig. [makes a grab for it, but misses]
Kowalski: This is state of the art, synthetic fiber which I-
Me: Who cares? Just give it. [grabs it from Kowalski, while Skipper tries to sneak away, unseen] Rico, contain Skipper!
[Rico tackles him to the ground, threatening him with a stick of lit dynamite, although it quickly fizzles out in the still pouring rain.]
Skipper: This is mutiny, soldier! [tries to kick Rico off, but to no avail]
Rico: Nuh-uh!
Me: He's right, Skipper. It doesn't count if it's a dare!
Skipper: [groans in defeat] Alright, alright! [puts his hands up]
Me: [shoves the wig onto Skipper's head, triumphantly] There!
Skipper: NOW can I take it OFF?
Me: [exasperated] Sure, whatever.
Private: [eagerly] My turn! [runs around and does some weird hops and jumps, trying to fly, but eventually gives up, disappointed]
Me: [brightly] Well, that wasn't hard! [muttering] For once.
Rico: [crazed] hucjgsdfkjhvbdvlk KAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! [He upchucks a grappling hook, shoots up through the hole in the ceiling, and disappears. Explosions are heard in the distance.
Skipper: Come on, Private! Let's go control him before he takes his dare too far! [they slide out through the door]
Kowalski: Well... I guess it's my turn, then. Time to show off the new S.C.U.A.B.A. I made! [pulls something like a S.C.U.B.A. tank out from behind his back]
Marlene: [confused] Um, that's just a scuba tank. That would be breathing, wouldn't it? And according to Alaina's dare, that's not allowed.
Kowalski: [shakes his head] Amateur. [Marlene looks offended at this] It's a self-contained underwater artificial breathing apparatus! It's put's oxygen into your body so you don't have to breath! [a painful looking, waterproof iv protrudes from his shoulder]
[everyone stares at it with mixed expressions, ranging from disgusted to amazed to sympathetic to just plain shocked]
[Kowalski jumps into a pool that wasn't there two seconds ago]
One hour later...
Kowalski: [bursts up from the water, gasping for air] The S.C.U.A.B.A. sank about a half an hour ago! I held my breath the rest of the time!
Skipper (he's back now): Wow, soldier. You couldn't hold it for even a half hour? Remind me to work on our marine endurance training tomorrow!
Kowalski: [ashamed] Okay...
Me: Well, I think that wraps it up! Remember to send in those reviews! I MEAN IT! Okay, you guys can go home, now.
[Everyone else lets out sighs and exclamations of relief]
Skipper: Thank God! That was torture!
SERIOUSLY! REVIEW! TRUTHS, DARES, COMMENTS, OR CRITICISM ARE WELCOME!
