Me: Hello and welcome back to the show! It's been a very busy month for me so sorry I didn't update. [crazed] I GOT ALOTTA DARES ALMOST TOO MANY BUT NOT QUITE TOO MANY AND IMMA HAPPY GIRL! [looks around awkwardly] Um, right. Ok, here's a dare from Captain Cynthia:

2Ok to make up for the lack of reviews...I WILL GIVE EPIC DARES! AND A LOT!

skipper: dance German folk dancing for 5 hours straight

Julien: watch skipper dance

Skipper: after you're done dancing, put on a LUNACORN COSTUME and shouts out to the whole world, "IM A PWETTY LUNACORN!"

Kowalski: go to doris's habitat, slap her as hard as you can with a fish, scream "I HATE YOU DORIS!" and then walk over here to my house and give me some blueprints for an awesome invention. Here's a map. And at the end of the chapter, come back, (I would've made the invention) and take the invention that I made and say this 5 times: "CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me..."

Private: watch all the Saw movies, while watching lunacorns burn, WHILE eating 100000 winkies dipped in nacho cheese

Rico: watch the twilight movies (no you can't barf out anything to destroy the tv) and then tell me how you liked it!

Marlene: go on 5 man missions with the team for a week! Then stuff yourself with snowcones until you barf

Julien: dance till ya can't dance no more! Actually, dance for 10 days straight, no food, no sleeping, and no passing out. Then eat a burrito! (random)

Maurice: wear a "I love Mort!" t-shirt that I will give you that's 2 sizes too small (even for a lemur!) and prance around throwing pink flowers

Mort: DO NOT touch the feet for the rest of the chapter!

I hope you're happy! :)

Me: Wow, that was a lot. Well, here we go. Break a leg, Skipper. Break your legs for five hours! Straight!

Skipper: [grits his teeth (or beak. Whatever.) and gets a determined look on his face. He talks to Kowalski, Rico, and Private.] It's been an honor serving with you, men. [looks at me] Start the timer!

Me: [presses the start button on a stopwatch that I am suddenly holding] Go!

Skipper: [starts to do a German folk dance] Ringtail! You better be watching this! [groans] Kung fu is so much more fun!

Julien: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT BURN THE ROYAL EYES! [covers his eyes]

Me: No! You have to watch! Capt- Uh, 'sky spirit' Cynthia told you to. If you don't… Um… The sky spirits will will take away your boom box! [mutters] Yeah…

Julien: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not my boomy-box! [stares as if avidly interested]

Me: C'mon, everyone let's go watch a movie while they're doing that.

Five hours later…

[We all walk back in the door. My stop watch beeps. Skipper faints and Julien immediately starts screaming]

Julien: [madly] My eyes! My royal eyes! No! They cannot be taking it anymore! They cannot be accepting of this shameful dance!

Mort: [runs up and hugs Julien's feet] I'll protect you King J- [Julien flings him off and he soars through the hole in the roof that Rico made in round one]

Me: That was… interesting, to say the least.

Skipper: Ok, just hand me the Lunacorn costume and let's get this over with! [I hand him a Lunacorn costume and he puts it on] I'M A PWETTY LUNACORN! [shudders, then gets stern] You didn't see anything!

Me: Right… Kowalski. You know what you have to do.

Kowalski: [hangs his head and runs out the door sobbing] Yes! I know! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Skipper: He needs some more training on concealing his emotions.

Me: Well, you weren't exactly neutral a minute ago when-

Skipper: I told you! You didn't se ANYTHING! [glares]

Me: Whatever. While we wait for Kowalski to come back, let's do the next dare! Private, I already have a room prepared with all the things your dare includes. Saw movies, burning Lunacorns, Nacho cheese, Peanut Butter Winkies…

Private: [rocking back and forth, hugging his Lunacorn] Miss Caring and Friendship, I'll never let anything happen to you. Please stay with me during this upcoming time of horror.

Skipper: Enough of this bubble-headed nonsense! [grabs the Lunacorn and throws it in the fire with the others. Private shrieks in horror] Be a man!

Private: [gulps and salutes. Skipper salutes back to him. Private walks into the room. All is quiet]

Later…

Skipper: [rocking back and forth, hugging himself] NO! He's only a boy! He's only a young booooooooooooooyyyyyyyy!

Me: [sarcastically] Be a man Skipper!

Skipper: Shut up!

Private: [walks out of the room] That was horrifying! [Skipper runs up and hugs him] Skipper, are you alright?

Skipper: [detaches himself from Private] …Yes. I'm fine!

Kowalski: [bursts in the door, breathing hard and sobbing] That was horrifying as well! [sinks to his knees (wait, do penguins have knees? Whatever.) and clasps his flippers]

Doris! Please forgive me! I never hated you! I don't! [looks at the camera] Captain Cynthia, YOU WILL PAY! Seriously! Five trillion Russian dollars!

Marlene: Um, why Russian- Never mind. I'm not even going to ask. [sighs]

Me: Your turn, Rico! [grabs him and throws him into a dark room. The sound of the Twilight movies is heard from within, along with Rico's gagging, growing louder every minute]

Later…

Me: [opens the door to the room Rico is in] Rico? The movies should be over by now…

Rico: [laying unconscious on the floor] …

Me: Rico! Wake up! It's over now! [shakes him]

Rico: Whaiazzzidippyr?

Me: Yeah… Whatever you just said.

Marlene: Who's turn is- Oh my God it's my turn isn't it?

Me: [evil smile] Why, yes it is. Let's see… Go on five-man missions with the penguins for a week!

Marlene: Oh, whatever. At least I've done this before.

A week later…

Marlene: Well, that wasn't too bad! [strikes a heroic pose]

Kowalski: Yes, except for the fact that you completely TRASHED TWO OF MY INVENTIONS!

Marlene: They had too many darn buttons! You told me too press the red button! Was I supposed to press the scarlet one? The rose one? Crimson? Bloodred? Neon? Royal?

Julien: Enough with the arguing of the smarty-pants penguin and Marlene! It's time for me to dance a real dance! [starts dancing]

Ten days later…

Julien: [still dancing like there's no tomorrow] Oh yeah, shake my booty! No one can out-party the king that is me that you see before you that is right now shaming you all with his kingly booty-shaking display that you cannot hope to compete with!

Skipper: I hate to say it, men, but… I think Ringtail's got us beaten on our stamina training. We ARE shamed! [flops down and beats his flippers on the floor] Iiiitt'sss nnnnoooooooottt fffaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiirrrrrr! It's not fair!

Me: You can stop now Ring- I mean, Julien. Here's a burrito.

Julien: [grabs the burrito and stuffs it in his mouth] Maurice! Get me a smoothie!

Me: He can't. It's his turn. [turns to Maurice] Here's that t-shirt.

Maurice: [groans] I have to wear… This?

Me: Yes. You do. Put it on. Now.

Maurice: [puts on the way too small 'I Love Mort tee and groans some more]

Me: Now here's those pretty pink flowers.

Maurice: [sighs] Oh well. I've been in more humiliating situations for King Julien, so… [shrugs his shoulders] Whatever. [prances around, throwing the flowers all around] Oh, and you don't have to worry about Mort's dare. King Julien already made me put him in restraints.

Mort: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [Mort is chained to the wall, struggling to escape] THE FFFFEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Skipper: Sad Eyes? What-

Private: Why is Mort chained to the wall? [starts to run over to help him escape, but Kowalski stops him]

Kowalski: Private, take a look. Maybe it's best we leave him there for the present. [Mort is acting like he's rabid, trying to escape, screaming about Julien's feet]

Private: [sadly] I guess you're right, Kowalski. For his own good, I suppose. [sighs]

Me: [evil grin] Ssooooooooo… Kowalski. Is there something you'd like to say to Captain Cynthia?

Kowalski: [trembling] F-fine. Just because I say it, doesn't mean it's true! …CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... Ugh… CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... CC IS SUCH AN AWESOME INVENTOR AND IS SMARTER THAN ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! [runs out of the room, screaming vengeance on Captain Cynthia]

Me: I guess he went to go get the invention. [looks at camera] Ok, people. Sorry that I'm only getting one reviewer in per chapter so far, but I'm usually really busy and don't have much time to write, although I wish I did.

Skipper: Write what?

Me: Uh, classified.