Me: [laughing maniacally] Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Christmas is almost here! So I hope you put more truth or dare on your list, 'cause that's what you're getting tonight!

Maurice: Um, I thought you said we were going to a party!

Me: It is a party! [psychotically] A party of joyful gift giving and... [pauses dramatically, and the lighting gets all creepy] PAIN! [more maniacal evil laughter]

Skipper: [nervous] Um, yeah... That's not at all disturbing. Yep. Perfectly normal.

Julien: This is outrageously not befitting of the king that is me! This booty-shaking festival is supposed to be a party celebrating me, your king, King Julien! It is Julienuary! It is the time of me to be recieving all the presenty presents!

Mort: I like Julienuary! [dashes to Julien's feet in hopes of catching him while he's distracted. Julien kicks him off and he flies through that hole in the ceiling that Rico made in Round 1]

Skipper: Go, men, go! We need to retrieve Sad Eyes before-

Marlene: Before he gets hurt! Poor Mort!

Skipper: No. Before he does any damage! [Rico babbles] Yes, Rico, we don't want him landing on our car. That would be a pain in the neck to clean up!

Me: Ah, I'm afraid that won't be possible. You see, I've locked all doors in the building from the outside. No one escapes! I'll dispatch some security guards to go get him.

Skipper: [suspiciously] Just where is this lair situated, anyway?

Me: It's not a lair! It's a freaking television studio.

Skipper: [shrieking] No! Our whole operation is compromised! Kowalski! Your new identity is Fernando Rodriquez; you've always dreamed of being a truck driver and you live in Texas! [Kowalski salutes] Rico! You're a brain surgeon-

Me: [cuts him off] First of all, calm down and shut up! Second, is it really wise to give Rico a job as a brain surgeon? He'll hack them up with chainsaws! And Kowalski would soup up his truck to be a sciencey and it would eventually explode and kill someone!

Skipper: I was going to tell Private that he's a professional wrestler...

Me: You're crazy! But enough already! Let's get on with it. The first dare is from Sam. Here goes:

Skipper shall slap hippies for the rest of the day continuously. Private shall break into the lunicorns studio and set it on fire with of course the help of Rico. Kowalski shall forget science for a whole day. Rico shall burn random buildings. Marlene: truth do you like Skipper?

Me (still): Wow. Well, Skipper, you know what to do.

Skipper: [perks up happily] Hippie time? [he's completely forgotten about the television thing]

Me: Yeah, I guess. [claps hands and the lighting immediately goes disco. A catwalk slides out from the wall and tons of hippies parade out like models and announce their names. Skipper grins maliciously. When every hippie is announced, the disco ball vanishes, the disco/hippie lights are replaced with normal florescent lights, and the catwalk vanishes] Now, Skipper, you go over into that room and slap them all repeatedly, until the round is over. [points to random orange door]

Skipper: Justice! [madly runs over to the random orange door and runs in. Painful slapping sounds are heard, accompanied by crazy laughing and 'Ouch!"'s]

Private: [whimpers] But they didn't do anything wrong... Did they?

Marlene: Shush, Private. It's alright... [puts her arm around him as he cutely sniffles]

Kowalski: Actually, no, it's NOT alright. By my calculations, there is a ninety-two percent chance that Private will have a nervous breakdown, caused by his dare... [everyone glares at him, and Private bursts into tears] Um... [nervously] I'm going to, um, leave now... [shuffles towards the exit door]

Me: I have already stated that there is no possible escape from this studio! Anyway, Rico, take Private away and do what you must. You have to break into the Lunacorns studio and set it on fire. Go, go, go!

Rico: [even MORE psychotic laughter] Uh-huh! [grabs Private, stuffs him in a burlap sack, and shoots up through the ceiling with a grappling hook, upchucking bombs along the way. Everybody ducks and covers]

Me: Yeah... I forgot about that hole... Apparently there IS an exit. But you can't get to it easily, so... [trails off and shrugs nonchalantly] Yeah. [evil grin] Ok, Kowalski. Say goodbye to your science brain!

Kowalski: [on his knees, flippers in the air] NOOOOOOOOO!

Me: [shoots Kowalski with a weird purple ray gun thing]

Julien: Um, okay, so what did dat purple shooter thingy do? 'Cause I WANT IT! Although dat smarty pants penguin isn't looking so smart at da moment...

Kowalski: Unngh...

Me: Uh, just leave him alone for the moment. He'll be alright. [mutters to self] Hopefully...

[Private and Rico burst in, and Private is hyperventilating]

Private: [terrified, hallucinating] No! NO! FIRE! DEAD! LUNICORNS EVERYWHERE! FIRE EVERYWHERE! NO MORE LUNACORNS SHOWS EVER AGAIN! AAAUUUUGGHHH!

Me: It's fine, Private.

Private: No! It's not!

Me: Yeah, you're right. It's not. I just didn't know what to say to get you to stop crying.

Private: [walks over and stands in the corner and cries]

Me: ...

Rico: ! [again, shoots up through the hole in the ceiling]

Me: I guess he's doing his dare now. But there's someone here who needs to be asked a very... special question. [whips around and stares down Marlene with piercing blue eyes] MARLENE! [Marlene jumps back, startled] Do you like Skipper?

Marlene: ! Can't hear a thing you're saying! ! Sorry! Lalalalalalalalalala! Must have an ear infection! Lalalalalalalala!I should go to the doctor! ! Like, right now! Lalalalala-

Me: HEY! [the room gets quiet] Just answer. It's not like Skipper can hear you right now...

Marlene: Um, no. Why would anybody think that... [quails under everyone's stern gazes] Fine! [breaks down] Yes! I do! Yesyesyes!

Skipper: [runs out of the Hippie Room, screaming] YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESS! [hugs Marlene]

Me: ...Or maybe he can... [clears throat and stands up tall] Ok, Skipper, since you have exited the Hippie Room, that means that the round is over! [looks at camera] Happy holidays! Merry Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever the heck you celebrate!

A/N: Sorry I only got in one dare. My schoolwork is killing me... I'll try to update my other stories during Christmas break, so check back later! :D