Be ready for a load of angst mixed with drama. x.x
Tried to make Tony as in character as possible, but I might have failed epically in that aspect. Lol.
If so, then oops. But really, I can see him acting like this. He's a sensitive person hiding behind two walls of jokes, and then anger, or frustration anyways.
Read, Review, and as always, ENJOY! XDD
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This chapter has been beta'd by the wonderful and awesomelicious ArmyWife22079. You ROCK! Thanks so much! You helped wonders with this chapter!
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Disclaimer- As much as I wish I did, I DO NOT own Inuyasha or NCIS, just the plot of this story and any OC's that happen to pop up! XD
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-Reality and Truth-
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Previously;
'Twang'
'Aw, fuck'
And within less than a second, the left area of the warehouse blew up into bits, the deafening roar of the explosion echoed into the night and the force shook the ground.
Tony jumped at the sudden loud noise blaring in his ear. "Kagome…? Kagome…?"
Tony ripped out the earwig and threw it to the ground as he whipped out of his seat and shot out of the car, ignoring her previous request to stay in the safety of the barrier.
He sprinted towards the warehouse as he grabbed his phone, pressing speed dial and yelling once it answered… oblivious to the white haired man in the shadows who chuckled darkly before slinking away into the night.
"Ka-go-me!"
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-Lost Words and Love-
White hair shone starkly against the night, footsteps falling heavily as a figure slinked through the night.
He was dressed nicely; a dark crisp suit that contrasted deeply to his alabaster skin.
He looked like the perfect target to be mugged.
And he would be, but the way he held his head up high, and the way his violet eyes danced so sadistically, it warded anyone who dared to try. He strode confidently down the road with an arrogant, yet deadly and threatening air.
The kind of air that said - "Touch me, talk to me, even stare at me, and you're head will decapitated before you could even think to scream".
Anyone who did see him, turned around promptly and scurried away without a second glance.
It had him cackling sadistically.
He made his way towards another warehouse, except he didn't go inside. Instead, he went around behind it. His body glowed a dark, purplish color, and the ground shimmered to reveal a latch.
The man crouched down and grabbed it, opening the entrance. Another second he was gone, and so was the mysterious door.
'One down, and only four to go...'
-o-o-o-o-
Tony rushed in the warehouse without any thought of caution, faintly remembering the path Kagome took from what she told him.
Five doors, two halls, and three rooms later led him to his destination. And God did he wish never did - never saw something so horrible before…
His jaw clenched as his pace slowed. Gibbs' voice yelling from the receiver of the phone went ignored. "Tony? Tony? What the hell is happening? Where is Kagome?"
The bomb was powerful enough to blow down the door to the opposite side from where it detonated. Everything was scattered around, burnt. The outside wall collapsed, letting the moon light the area.
And it didn't help to see nails, screws, shards of various metal, and shrapnel scattering the floor and protruding the walls.
And let's not forget the fact that there was nothing sufficiently large or even nearly durable enough for Kagome to duck behind for protection against the blast.
If Kagome was standing right next to the door when it went off…
Tony paled with the realization, his stomach dropping and his breath catching in his throat as his heart just stopped.
…there was no way she could have survived…
He sluggishly made his way through the debris, almost mindlessly, his feet brushing away the broken pieces of the ceiling and wall.
With every step he took, the pain sharpened, the horror heightened, the denial grew, and the hope diminished.
But a small, determined lick of hope still burned at the pit of his stomach battling against the ever dampening rational part of his brain. If there was no body, then maybe...just freaking maybe by some miracle from God...she was still...
He was stumbling closer when his gaze caught a glowing object not too far away. It drew him closer, beckoning him, and he watched almost unconsciously, unbidden, as his hand reached out to grab it. He brought it up to his face to examine it - the shining pink item. It emanated some kind of air, almost tangible.
It felt familiar...
It felt like her...
His hand clenched around the small jewel, and the glow seemed to fade away. An almost sense of peace fell upon him.
Then his eyes flickered up farther ahead suddenly - and the moment of hope and peace didn't last long as his world just flipped upside down.
Tony gulped thickly, his throat closing, his breath turning shaky.
His insides felt cold - ice cold, and his heart clenched painfully.
'Oh God, Kagome...'
"No..." Tony breathed out, shaking his head in denial as the reality of it all finally started to sunk in. "No, not again - not again!" he shouted, angry - furious even. "Not you..." he gritted out painfully, chest shuddering. "Oh God - Kagome," he moaned out, voice dripping with pain and agony.
Kate...Paula...
'And now Kagome...' Tony thought in despair.
Before, he'd always thought that he was, in some cynical, sick sense, lucky; where it could have been - should have been - him, it was always someone else.
Getting shot at? It wouldn't be a normal day without it.
Escaping near death situations with bombs? Whatever.
Bubonic plague? Psh, no big deal.
Now, now maybe he was just so fucking unlucky, that he would have to watch any woman he worked with, was close to, die, while he practically drowned in the guilt and the pain.
Water pooled in the corner of his eyes, his throat clenching painfully. He stumbled back against the wall, sliding to the ground, horrified eyes never leaving the overly burnt form of an unrecognizable body.
What were the chances of there even being another person in here, anyways, aside from Kagome...?
There were none...
Tears spilled over as a deep sob tore through his throat.
-o-o-o-o-
That was how they finally found him; back against the wall, doubled over as his body shook harshly in a silent sob.
It shook Gibbs, it shook them both to the core.
They've never seen Tony cry before. Not with Kate... Not with Paula...
He yelled, shouted out in anger, frustration and loss, he hit things; but they've never seen him cry, never in public at least...
If anything, he'd deal with it by not dealing with it...
A foreboding feeling overwhelmed them, the unshakable feeling that something horrible happened. When they saw no Kagome, it only became worse.
But they didn't want to believe it; to think the worst.
Ziva was the one who stepped up to the man, crouching to eye level. "Tony...?" she murmured morosely.
Red-shot, watery blue-green eyes blinked up at her. "Ziva?" came his hoarse, cracked voice, confusion lining his tone, as if she appeared from no-where. "What are you doing here?"
Ziva's heart clenched painfully for her partner. "I am here to help," she said carefully.
Tony let out a cynical, wry, almost hysterical laugh. "It's too late for that..." Her eyebrows furrowed when he let out another laugh, sharp and bitter, and even more so at his next words. "You must hate me..." he mumbled, looking away.
She blinked at him, puzzled. "Why would you say that?"
His fists clenched suddenly, swiftly turning a pale white. "I killed your friend," he told her bluntly, and he gestured wildly in front of him.
Ziva and Gibbs's gaze followed and they froze, the dots connecting themselves. Ziva couldn't help the stricken gasp that wracked through her. 'Kagome...' she thought in horror, before her eyes closed, unable to look anymore. 'I will miss you, dear friend...'
Gibbs couldn't look away; instead his fists clenched in complete fury. This bastard, he killed so many already...why her too?
After a moment to gather herself, Ziva turned back to Tony. "You did not kill her, Tony," she breathed out calmly.
Her eyes shot open when he yelled suddenly, voice rough and ragged with anger and guilt. "I might as well have!"
Her hands shot out deftly, clamping onto Tony to hold him still. "Do not say that! Do not dare!"
He shook his head firmly, ignoring her. "It's my fault. I should have stopped her. I should have gone with her. Maybe then I would have sa-"
"Then you would have died." Ziva snapped at him, her hands squeezing tightly. "I do not think Kagome would have wanted that. There was nothing that could be done. These things, they happen Tony. They are uncontrollable."
Tony's eyes narrowed in irrational anger. "I could have done something," he gritted out iron-willed. But the fire died out soon enough. "I could have done something..."
"Then do something now."
The two agents looked up at Gibbs, who stood above them almost ominously.
"What?" Tony muttered, sidling him with a look of mixed frustration and exasperation.
Gibbs eyes narrowed at him. "Stop sitting on your ass and get up. Do something, don't cry about it," he snapped, almost harshly. But there was a soft lining to his tone that eased the biting edge.
Tony glared up at him, his face filling up with incredulity and rage. "Kagome just died Gibbs. She just died, on my watch, when I was supposed to be on her six. I think I have a right to grieve," he bit out harshly. "Maybe you can be a cold-hearted bastard and just brush it off, but I just can't do it."
Ziva's eyes widened in shock. "Tony!" she admonished, voice filled with disbelief at his accusations.
But no matter how harsh his words, Gibbs knew he didn't mean it. "I didn't say you didn't," he retorted calmly. "You wanna do something? Find this bastard and make him pay, for Kagome. Finish what she started," Gibbs said evenly, his ice blue eyes pinning him with a hard stare. "Then you grieve."
Tony's jaw clenched, his eyes staring up at Gibbs, searching, before his body deflated, the raging emotions inside him dissipating. Gibbs was right. He knew it.
Gibbs was always right...
His gaze dropped to the ground, the shame biting at him. "Boss, I'm -"
"Never say you're sorry, DiNozzo."
His eyes flickered up at his Boss. "Still, I shouldn't have gone that far..."
A silver eyebrow rose, and before Tony knew it, Gibbs was crouching, staring at him with his signature silent gaze. Tony watched his boss as he raised a hand and reached over.
Tony's head jerked slightly and his lips quirked as he felt the familiar slap, softer than usual.
"Don't worry 'bout it, Tony." Gibbs said gruffly, and after a moment, he rose. "Let's go home..." he murmured as he took in all the damage, his blue eyes dimming as he grieved for the miko in his own way.
Tony mimicked him, glancing around at the destruction, and his heart clenching painfully all over again...
What, he wondered, were Kagome's last thoughts...?
Were they of regret? Regret of walking into this warehouse? Of even coming here, for the case?
Or did her life flash before her eyes, and she passed with peace? With content?
Did she think of those she was leaving behind? Her family? Of Shippo and Inuyasha?
Did she think of...him...?
He could feel the burn of more tears building up in his eyes at that last thought.
Reaching out with a gentle hand, Ziva shook Tony out of his reverie. His eyes blinked open at her gentle voice. "We cannot stay here - the building, it may collapse on us."
Tony nodded, almost lifelessly. "Yeah..."
As they walked out of the warehouse, regret bubbled up at the bottom of his stomach, burning like acid. The bauble in his clenched fist seemed to burn a hole in his palm.
I never did get to tell her how I felt, how I feel...
-o-o-o-o
The drive out of Fredericksburg seemed to take an eternity, the deafening silence just making it that much worse.
Whether out of sympathy or concern, Tony was left riding shotgun as Ziva drove the car he took out here while Gibbs went in the other. His partner actually drove only five miles over the speed limit, taking great care to drive carefully for once.
And as much as Tony appreciated the gesture, right now was one of those times he wished she would drive like usual; speeding the hell out of dodge with the wind whipping past and the trees, people, and buildings passing by in mere blurs.
He wanted to get away. He didn't want to think.
And he would have said something to Ziva, but decided against it. Instead, he just gazed out of the window, peeking through the dense foliage of trees lining the Rappahannock River as they shot down the road past the abandoned, rundown warehouses.
It didn't take very long until he couldn't stand it any longer, the water's color bringing up memories of dark blue eyes which churned whenever angry or filled with passion. So his gaze went up to the still night sky.
But the feeling of being watched was something he couldn't shake.
He'd be able to feel Ziva's eyes peering over at him constantly even if he couldn't see her in his peripheral. Her concerned stare bored into him, giving him a reprieve only when she was forced to turn back to minding the road.
He felt a bit relieved once they turned off the road, venturing into Fredericksburg's historical district, where the buildings ranged from colonial and Victorian style mansions to small-framed houses.
Much less creepy than the rundown warehouses; but the antique style paired with the reminder of its civil war history of battles didn't quell the creepy-factor yet. It had that kind of uneasy air, the one that follows places associated with such terrible violence.
The silence lasted only until they hit downtown, a much more populated area, as they passed under street lights and closed shops. Apparently Ziva reached her limit - silence paired with Tony was just a lie. It just wasn't right and should never happen.
He always had something to say...
Except this time he didn't.
"Tony..." she whispered softly, the sound contrasting with the silence so deeply, it didn't really even seem like a whisper. "I know what you are doing, and you cannot do that to yourself."
For a moment, he debated not answering. But it would most likely prompt an argument, and right now he couldn't handle anything. "And what am I doing, Ziva?" he asked dully.
"You are beating yourself up. You did it with Kate. You did it with Paula. Now you are doing it again." Ziva continued, still speaking in a soft, yet firm tone. "And when you go home, I know you will close yourself off, recede into yourself as you drown in alcohol and guilt. It is not healthy."
Tony let out an emotionless laugh. The sound was so unnatural it had Ziva frowning. "I'm getting too predictable now, huh? Gotta fix that later..." he joked half-heartedly, and at Ziva's sigh, his gaze went downcast. "It's healthier than dying, anyways..." he muttered.
At that, they both stiffened at the crude remark. And when Ziva went to speak again, Tony cut her off. "Ziva? Just, don't. Please?" he whispered softly, and he glanced over at her, their eyes connecting. "Not now."
Ziva stared at him, reading his conflicted gaze, before relenting with a nod. "If that is what you want..." she murmured, turning back to the road.
Tony continued to gaze at her, and finally looked away after a moment. "Thank you..."
Her lips quirked up the slightest in the tiniest smile.
-o-o-o-o-
Six o' clock in the morning, right when the sun was starting to peek over the horizon, golden eyes snapped open to see a gloomy sky. They narrowed, the fine hairs on the nape of his neck rising.
He shot up, an ill-boding feeling building up in his stomach and cursed loudly when his forehead collided harshly against a thick branch.
"Son of a bitch!"
His clawed hand snapped up to rub at his sore head, grimacing and scowling all in one.
As soon as the throbbing ceased, his eyebrows furrowed as the ominous feeling clawed at his gut. His hand crept up to his chest, right above his heart, almost unconsciously.
Over where a design of a crescent moon laid, filled in with a navy blue hue.
It felt...like a void? Like something was...missing?
A heart-wrenching howl, filled with heavy anguish and agony broke the early dawn silence, freezing him, his gut turning and his insides going cold. And the realization crashed into him like a thousand bricks.
It was a howl of mourning... and a familiar one at that.
"No..." The whisper was stricken, horrified, filled with hopeful denial.
Golden eyes shot over to the one room in the hotel lit up, and within a nano-second, they disappeared.
A lone, fearful whisper was the only thing abandoned to the wind.
"Kagome..."
-o-o-o-o-
-NCIS Bullpen-
-Tuesday; 1000-
The bullpen was a corner of grieving silence. No one spoke as they worked.
Ziva and McGee were on their computers looking something, anything, to help them. They researched the human aliases from the list of contacts that were given to them.
Gibbs was sipping at his coffee, deep in thought as he regarded his senior field agent from across the bullpen.
Said agent was hunched over his desk, elbows propped up as he looked silently at his hands. His blue eyes stared dazedly as he twirled a certain pink sphere between his fingers, lost in his thoughts.
A ring broke through the room, and a tanned hand shot out to snatch it up, cocoa eyes never leaving the screen. "David speaking." Ziva's eyes narrowed as she listened, the phone cradled against her ear, and then she looked at her boss. "Gibbs, they say you have a visitor, a very irate visitor. He's in one of the conference rooms," she informed him
Gibbs stared at her. "Name?" he prompted, eyes bright with interest.
Ziva shook her head.
Getting a bad feeling about this, he started to stride out of the bull pen. "Follow me." he ordered the three of them.
The authoritative edge to his tone broke Tony out of his reverie, and his head shot up. Seeing everyone rising to follow his boss, he slowly rose to follow.
He stopped first though to stare at the bauble sitting innocently at his desk. After a moment's hesitation, he opened a drawer and gently placed it in before following over to the elevators.
When they walked into the room, the man was facing the window, his fists clenched. Stiffening, the team filed in.
As soon as the door closed, the man whirled around, eyes flashing. "Where. The. Fuck. Is. She?" he gritted out harshly, glaring at them.
Gibbs narrowed his eyes at the unfamiliar man. "Who are-" his voice cut off as the illusion flickered, and if you didn't pay close enough attention you would have blamed it on the trick of light. It was Inuyasha - a very pissed off Inuyasha.
Inuyasha snarled quietly. "Kagome. Where is she. Why didn't she return last night." 'Why can't I detect her...' he thought, bordering on desperation.
Tony bit his lip, looking away guiltily.
Inuyasha picked up on it like a hawk and rounded on him like a rabid dog. "You! Something happened, didn't it! I knew it! I knew she shouldn't have gotten involved with you! The whole lot of you - but she never fucking listens! Where the hell is Kagome, boy!" he demanded hotly.
Tony blew out a breath of air and his eyes slowly met the demon's, eyes brimming with mixed horror and shame. "I..." he trailed off, voice stricken, not knowing what to say.
Inuyasha's jaw clamped shut with an audible click. He stared at him as if he sprouted two heads. "What? You don't know?" he said flatly, eyes quickly burning gold. "What do you mean you don't know?" he asked with a strange calmness.
When no one said anything, Inuyasha fought the urge to hit something.
"She went out to check up on contacts. Simple as that," Inuyasha said gruffly with nonchalance. "Next thing you know; her cell is out of service, she won't answer her pages, I can't feel her aura in this damn city, and I can't sense her through our connection," the half-demon listed off, his voice getting harsher with every word.
He pinned them all with cold look, fury churning deeply, just waiting to burst out. "All of that adds up to either she's hiding, or she's fucking dead. So you better tell me, oh so help me you will experience firsthand why demons are feared." His voice held a threatening twinge that showed he was not kidding.
Through it all, Tony stood stiffly, taking it all in. The guilt was eating at him, the emptiness was pawing at him. "I-I'm sorry, she-"
A hand on his shoulder stopped him, and his head snapped to Gibbs, who shook his own.
Gibbs began to speak for him, turning back to Inuyasha, his voice low. "Last night, Tony and Kagome were following a lead they received from a contact about a warehouse. Kagome insisted she would be able infiltrate it herself but it was a trap,"
At that, Inuyasha froze; dread filled him to the core.
Gibbs stared at the man, his gaze apologetic. "The warehouse exploded. She didn't survive."
Inuyasha paled, his whole body shaking. Then his eyes flickered red and gold, a low whine dragging out from his throat. His hand shot out to the table to brace himself. "Oh god, no..." he breathed out, horrified.
The four stayed silent, not knowing what to do. They watched as the man took ragged breaths to calm himself, until his breathing was normal, but his body was still shaking with volatile rage. After a second, now golden eyes surrounded by red drifted up to pin them with a stare.
"Now," he said, his voice teetering between guttural and gruff, "You see how dangerous this is. It is not a game. This is not one of your petty cases. This fucker took down my best friend, something that shouldn't be that easily done," he bit out.
"I will track down this bastard and kill him myself. And you will back off," his voice left no room for arguing, and he didn't give them any time to respond as he stalked out of the room.
For a moment, the silence returned, no one quite knowing what to say after that.
But soon enough, Tony spoke up, his voice a haggard whisper. "Boss, we're not..." he trailed off, uncertain.
Gibbs' ice blue eyes narrowed into slits, glaring at the air. "No."
McGee glanced at his boss, visibly shaken at spectacle. "Then what?" he was almost afraid to ask.
You could practically see the gears working in the older man's head, and after a minute he turned to the only member of his team that had yet to speak. "Ziver, I want you to contact Shippo. He might speak to you, so see what you can find out."
Ziva hesitated for a moment, unsure if that was the right thing to do at the moment. Shippo and Kagome were close, anyone could see that by the way they interacted. It was similar to how Kagome and Inuyasha behaved together, but less...aggressive.
He had to be feeling the loss too...
But she nodded nonetheless.
-o-o-o-o-
An hour seemed like a suitable enough time wait before calling. She wanted to wait until Inuyasha returned to the hotel to tell the news, and let it settle.
After the time, she tried phoning the kitsune. But he never answered. The calls went straight to voicemail.
An uneasy feeling began to settle inside her, and she grabbed her gear and made her way out of the building.
Upon arriving at the hotel, she headed straight up to the hotel. For a moment she paused, debating whether to knock or just walk in. She decided on the latter - if he wasn't answering her calls, then why would he answer a knock on the door?
Reaching out to twist at the knob, she was surprised to find it unlocked. Silently, she entered the room, and the sounds of things moving caught her attention.
The sounds were coming from the bedroom, and she slowly made her way over to the door. It was left ajar, and a faint light was peeking thought. Pausing at the opening, she peered in.
"What are you doing?" Ziva asked softly, watching the kitsune grab a few things before stuffing them into a black duffle.
Hearing her when she first stepped into the room, Shippo wasn't surprised at her presence. "I'm getting ready to go hunt down the two other bastards that knew about the warehouse and drag their asses to base," he told her with such a detached calmness, so unlike his usual loftiness. It shook her slightly.
It was like the calm of the storm, rage and fury churning right under the surface, just waiting to be unleashed.
Her eyes narrowed once she saw the contents of the bag. "Then why are you bringing weapons?" she inquired nonchalantly.
Shippo turned to stare at her with neutral emerald eyes. "They're coming in, whether it's with a sword through their heart or not-" and his fists clenched, "And the latter is only my second choice."
They stared at each other, gazes locking for a moment. "I am coming with you."
Her comment sparked some emotion behind those green eyes - shock? Surprise? Horror? It couldn't be told.. "No, you're not. Absolutely not," he retorted back, tone so serious it left no room for argument. "Hell no," he added for good measure when seeing her determined face. He didn't want her to see him like this, like a monster.
Like the reason demons were ever deemed monsters in the first place.
Too bad Ziva was stubborn like a damn jaguar with its jaws locked on prey. "Kagome was my friend too," she reminded him, her cocoa eyes showing she felt the loss as much as he did.
For a moment, Shippo didn't move, didn't say a thing. "You're not going to stop me from killing them, if it comes to that." It wasn't a question.
Ziva held her head up high, her gaze never wavering from his. "I would not think of it."
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Words- 4,265
Duh duh duuuummm… Lol, damn, bet that was one helluva angst rollercoaster eh? Heheh, poor Tony, the guy doesn't get any relief huh?
So some of you may be wondering if I killed Kagome off? Well, I kinda did, didn't I? I mean, how could she seriously escape a blast like that?
The question is whether or not I bring her back…
And now, I'll leave it at that heheh. Yep, I'm an evilly sadistic writer...
And damn do I enjoy every minute of it ;D
Anyways, again another HUGE shout out and thanks to my wicked awesome beta ArmyWife22079 for giving me the details of Fredericksburg. And yes, it is a real place. There are actually rundown warehouses there down by the Rappahannock River, with about a 200 year creepy history from a flood. Trust me, I woulda made it allllll up if it wasn't for her, and it would be crazy crappy lmaoo.
Thank you soooo much for all your feedback! I got a00 kick out of some of them last time! Glad you all like it! ^^
Till next time!
RainLily^^
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-Reviews—
I really mean when it I say thank you guys, it's because of all of your encouragement and help that I keep on writing. Not to mention, some of your reviews crack me up sooo much and get me grinning like a crazy person! I LOVE it!
Again, thank you SO much! You all ROCK! XD
A big huge honking thanks to these awesome reviewers!
Reads-way-2-much, kakashixangela, MoonPrincess1989, Kumerai Fang-sama, Ayjah, Azumigurl, Kuronueslover, Ichigo Mirai
Fierynightangel- Lol, don't worry, this chappy was the first one to be sent to the beta haha! ^^ As for the white haired demon… now if I said that, that would just ruin the suspense! ;) I think I'll keep that as my little secret if you don't mind too much lol ^^
MoonlitCries- Awhh really? That sucksss :/ Hate when that happens!
Bishonen'sFoxyMiko- Lol, well yay! Then the twist worked lmaoo. The moles will be taken care of in a later chappy. I just couldn't find a good spot to bring it in. And thank youuu! XDD Hope you're Christmas was an absolutely awesome one, and that your New Year was even awesome-er heheh. ^^
ArmyWife22079- Lol, well I'm glad I got Fredericksburg down. Thank you again for helping me with all the descriptions and sending me the pics – they helped loads! (Knowing me, I woulda just made stuff up lmaoo!)
Valleygoat- Lmaoo! XDDD You have no idea how much hearing that made me smile! I'm so happy you loved it! ^^Thank you soooo much! XD
Blackdove1265- Now, if I killed you, then you wouldn't be able to read the chappy you know! Or any of those to come! ;) Lol. I'm ecstatic to hear you love it! Hope you like this one as well!
Silver Miko667- 0.oOh god, really? Yikes, I remember this one time where I broke my bedroom window! ^^;;;; I was aiming my bro's paintball gun at the tree right by my window to shoot it for the first time, and asked if I was aiming right. He said yea, and I shot, it and…well, I'm sure you could figure out the rest -_-… lmfaoooo! And thanks! ^^