A/N: I may have been procrastinating on this. OTL I'm so sorry. D: Oh, and expect mild OOC. :D

Enjoy!

#6: The Only Exception

"I'll never sing of love if it does not exist, but you are the only exception."

For Little Cute Girl—Signe, thank you for the skype moments. :D

For five years, I never felt any kind of romantic love.

For me, love is nothing but a pain in the arse, and I know for sure that it is such a stupid feeling—and stupid feelings do not last. I have completely given up on love, and I can say that I've stopped believing in fairytales that came along with it.

It was all because of a boy I met when I was just ten. He probably had the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen—as its colour is crimson, like that of the blood—and his raven hair just adds to his beauty. He has a really bad habit of pushing people away, and I was not an exception to this. We never actually liked each other's guts when we first met, but over the years, he and I...well, let's just say we managed to develop something deeper than friendship.

We went out after a year of intense courtship. Those moments in between have been so memorable that when I said 'yes', it was as if nothing much changed between us—if you don't count the label, at least. For three years, he made me believe that he will always be there for me, that he will protect and love me no matter what happens. He assured that he will remain beside me as long and humanly as possible.

He promised.

"I know you're going to leave me Natsume, sooner or later, you will. Why don't you just leave now while I'm still strong? I don't want you seeing me at my worst, so please, if you want to leave, just go."

"You know I'm not leaving, Mikan…" and then he hugged me.

Tight.

"…not today, at least," but I never caught those last words he uttered before he broke our hug. I never really bothered asking him—little did I know that those words were the most important ones.

Several months after that, he left me a note, saying that he had to go somewhere far from home and that he might never see me again.

And then he was gone.

Poof.

Just like that.

Like water I held in the palm of my hand, he easily slipped from my grasp without any closure whatsoever. I got mad—honestly, who wouldn't? We were going strong and he suddenly leaves, leaving a very measly letter behind for me to know that he was gone! It was such an important thing for us, but it was as if he just took it for granted. It was just plain crazy, but that was what he did.

So, for how many years of waiting, I remained loyal to him, politely declining every hint of romantic love from the opposite sex. I believed that he will be back—for four years, I believed that he will return from God-knows where and continue loving me as much as I do to him.

After all, we never really broke up.

But then, try as I may to wait and believe in all the fallacy in the world, he never came back to us—most importantly, he never came back to me. I got mad at myself for loving and expecting too much.

So I made an oath to not fall in love with anyone anymore, I don't want to get hurt like that anymore. I don't want to expect anything anymore because in the end, it will just lead me to extreme pain. I closed my heart for any sign of romanticism which I know will soon end up with me in tears. I don't want to love deeper than anyone anymore, because it was getting cliché and boring.

I've always felt like I'm the one who loves more, and I've grown tired of ever being the pitiful one.

I may make these promises inside me, but I know for sure that the moment he comes back and steal a kiss from me, these walls I've been building for these past years will soon break and I know that I'll just accept him again amidst all the things he did to me—amidst his terrible attitude of making me wait for so long.

I guess it's because he's the only exception to whatever standards I have for myself.

I hate to admit it, but it's true.

Snippet End

This was a bit rushed, I'm sorry. OTL if you want me to make a follow-up on this, please don't hesitate to tell me, aight? :)

Reviews are much appreciated.

Ria x