Here we go, Quinn's letter. I don't like Quinn. Or Youtube, at the moment. It keeps pausing my music -.- Oh, and I've also reconstructed Quinn's past so the Lucy stuff never happened because it didn't fit with the past I wanted her to have with Rachel.

Dear Quinn,

For some of these letters, I had to think hard about who they were going to go to; I could not write a letter to every person who has ever hurt me because the staff would be after my blood for using so much of their paper. However, for you, it was not the case. I always knew you were going to get one, even above Santana. You see, Santana was always more harsh, more direct but her words were always easier to take, because I always knew, to a certain extent, that it was not personal. She certainly had her own special way of tormenting me, but unlike you, Santana is just a general bitch to everyone.

You, on the other hand, have only really been that way with me. Of course, you and Finn had your differences, but the two of you were never really meant for each other, you were both merely together for the status and popularity. Neither one of you loved the other, but you were not willing to admit it, not even when you were with another's child and he was flirting with me. Perhaps that's why you hate me so much. I don't think I will ever really know, but what I do know is that you do. You saw something wrong with directly me, and for you, it was very personal.

I get why you hate me. Not only did Finn choose me, but you've told me in your own words just why it is you find me so repulsive enough times. I know I'm obsessive, clingy, spoiled and "totally irritating most of the time." And from your very own mouth Quinn, you feel like "punching me every time I open my mouth." You may find this strange, but no one has ever hit me, although I am sure many have wanted to, and what you might find even more peculiar is I wish they would. Or at least, I wish my dads would.

That sounds sick, even to me. It's not really true either, it isn't that I want them to hurt me, exactly, but acknowledge my existence. I have three parents, and not one of them has managed to do so. Growing up, my dads sent me to all the singing lessons, dance classes and acting schools they could find, but it was not to nurture my talent, as I have always said. It was because they didn't know what else to do with me, how to be around me. They both wanted a child so much, but when they got one, they didn't know how to be parents.

I suppose I should be grateful that I have always been provided for, and I am. My dads have never done any wrong by me as such, they've never put me down or hurt me, there's always been food on the table, they've even catered to my diet needs and when they go away, they're always sure to leave me enough money to get me by, but for the most part, I am expected to take care of myself. Before Finn, I could not remember the last time someone had said 'I love you'.

I am telling you all of this because I thought high school would be the place I would finally feel loved and accepted, I thought I could finally find friends and construct my own family, but it never happened that way. You saw to that. I will never really understand why it was you hated me so much, because all of this started way before anything with Finn. All of this started on the very first day of Kinder-garden.

Do you remember that day? I expect you have tried to erase it from your memory, but that was the first time I believed we could be friends. I was confident even then, I was already in performing arts classes and had picked up on many of the habits. You did not have the same advantage. The first time I ever saw you, you were crying; your dad had just dropped you off and you had crept away to a bench in the corner of the playground to release your sorrow. I was the only one to notice you, the teachers were too busy organising everyone else and the rest of the class were more concerned with their own heartache. I was all right though; I was used to being away from my dads.

I approached you that day. I marched right over there to see if you were okay, and when I reached you, and saw quite clearly, the answer was no, I took a seat right next to you and told you in my extensive five year old vocabulary that it would be all right. I told you that you would see your family soon and even if we could find no other friends, we could have each other. You smiled then. I think that is the one and only true smile you have ever given me.

Of course, as soon as we were in the classroom you were spotted and dragged away by none other than Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. Santana didn't take your hand and march off with you right away, she looked at me first. She gave me this long glance from head to foot, her nose crinkled and her mouth turned up into a sneer to make it clear just what she thought of me before her hand shot out and she pushed me. It was so unexpected that I fell right to the floor.

I lay there for what felt like years, waiting for you to say something. I wanted my new found friend to jump to my defence, because then I was still naive enough to believe once you shared a smile you were friends for life. I waited for you to extend the same hand of friendship as I had done for you and help me to my feet, but you never did. You just looked at me sprawled on the floor with your impossible to read expression and still red rimmed eyes and then you walked away, arm in arm with the two people who had shown me my place for the years to come.

That was the day that set the hierarchy in stone. The four of us moved up to Elementary School together, then Middle School and then at last, High School. As I've said before, I thought things might be different in High School. I thought we may have all grown up past stereotypes and mindless bullying, but that move only marked an increase in your taunting. By that point, you were not even friends with Brittany and Santana, you have moved above them in the social scale and they were jealous. It was a constant power batter between the three of you.

Last year, I finally found out what Rupaul means. You were so proud of yourself for coming up with that name, you thought it was hilarious and you catty voice caught on to the rest of the school and soon, I was hearing it everywhere I went. Everyone was shouting after me in the halls, and it was like everything negative I had ever thought about myself was stamped across me so they could all see. I was never allowed to forget. It was not all you, but you were the start of everything.

The second time I thought we may be friends is when your pregnancy became common knowledge amongst the Glee Club Just as I had done that first day in Kinder-garden, I approached you with the offer of friendship. Your other 'friends' no longer wanted anything to do with you, and I think that was the only thing that stopped you telling me to go and play in the traffic. You had no one else and I was there, I was convenient, but it was not as if we were friends even then. You just used to to make sure Jacob didn't spill your secret to the world.

I know what you think about that period of your life, Quinn, and my role in it. You think I was only there so Finn would see me as this amazingly kind girl helping someone who had never so much had as had a kind word to give, but you're wrong. I approached because I saw the same scared vulnerable little girl I had on that first day, you were alone and I knew just what it felt like to need someone so much as the world turns its back on you. I knew what it was like not to have a friend in the world, to have no one on your side when you needed them there to hold you up and I didn't want anyone else to feel that way, ever. Not even you.

That particular peace between us didn't last though. I knew it wouldn't as soon as you wrote that Glist. I saw it that morning, taped to my locker door before Noah had the grace to get rid of it. I saw my name in the same place I had always been when it came to you. Right at the very bottom. I saw my score, in the minus numbers, and whereas the rational part of me knew it was just some mindless plastic lashing out, it still hurt. It hurt because I knew it was the truth, in your eyes at least. It really was how you saw me, it was how you all saw me.

The reason you are getting this letter and not the others is because you had the power to be different. I think it's just in Santana's genetic make-up to be the way she is, but you could have taken my hand that day, you could have returned the favour when I offered my friendship once again when you were pregnant with Beth, you could have just stopped. Even if you did not want to be my friend, you could have stopped with the name calling, the comments, the careful way you turned the rest of the school into my enemies. You could have at least let me have the Glee Club. It is not all your fault that they have never warmed to me, but you most certainly didn't help.

The final reason you are on my list is for something that is no fault of your own. You were Finn's first girlfriend, you were his first love and for that, you will always hold a special place in his heart. That special place can never be taken by me, and I can never compare to you because you are just so damn pretty. Everything about you is so perfect. I want so badly to match up to you in Finn's eyes. I want the rest of the school to look at us like they looked at the two of you, not with those scathing looks that tell Finn 'you can do better'.

I feel like I am constantly being forced to match up to you, and no matter what I do I can never compare. I will never be like you because I'm always going to be this annoying, spoiled, obsessive girl that everyone merely tolerates. You're everything I'm not, and sometimes, I hate you for it. I hate that you can mess up so badly and have everyone still love you, have the Glee kids at your feet when I make the slightest mistake and they are all on my back, pointing out my every fault as if I don't know. I hate that you were good enough to be Finn's girlfriend.

One thing I don't think I have made clear in this letter though, is I don't hate you, Quinn. I hate the things you've done, I hate your perfection, I hate how little I am in comparison, but I don't hate you. I never have, not even when you were right in my face, making it clear just how much you disliked me. You were never under any obligation to be kind to me and I have never expected anything of you. Merely hoped. Hoped that one day you would leave me alone enough so I could start to see beauty in myself.

The Glee Club taught me those who mind do matter, my mother gave me the drive, Finn made me feel like I was never enough, but it was you Quinn, who made me feel so damn unpretty.

Rachel

I apologise for any music that my have got stuck in anyone's head during the reading of this chapter. Everyone's reactions to their letters will be in the third part to this (so the sequel to the sequel).

Quick question that has nothing to do with this story, I've seen on some fics that apparently, Finn egged Rachel in the pilot episode, but I do not recall this at all. When in the episode did this supposedly happen? It's really bugging me.