Chapter 3 :

I opened my eyes, the room was dark except for the red numbers on the night stand, I looked over to the alarm clock, It was almost 4 AM, I had fallen asleep.. I stood up intrigued since I haven't heard the sound of buttons clicking or the TV. I walked over to the living room, the only thing helping me find my way was the light of a street light poll, I looked over to the couch thinking maybe he had decided to sleep there but he wasn't, he was sprawled on the floor, his shirt was pulled up, a little over his stomach, he was snoring lightly. I thought about going back to the room and sleep but decided against it, it was his room, and he gave it up to sleep on the freaking floor. I don't know if I can lift him up and carry him over to the bed, besides, who's to say he even wants to be carried..

Fuck that! I shake his shoulders a bit but he doesn't wake up, he just mumbles something about 'princess peach are those moustaches ?' or whatever the hell he was saying, I shake him with more force, he whines and turns around to his side, man what a heavy sleeper! "Matt..Matt wake up.." I whisper but all I get in response is a snore. That does it! "MATT WAKE UP!" I scream in his ear, the guy jumps a mile in the air his eyes going wide as he takes a karate position, he turns his head fast scanning the room, he soon sees me and sighs in relief, relaxing a bit, continues looking around the room then he turns back to me.

"why'd you wake me?"

"well you were snoring heavily and disturbing my sleep" I lied

"oh-sorry I didn't-"

"why are you sleeping on the floor?" I cut him off.

"I felt sleepy" he answers yawning. I sigh taking his hand and pulling him toward the bedroom, he follows, half asleep almost hitting his head on the doorframe as we enter the room. I drop on the bed, sighing as I put my head on the pillow, I look up and he was still standing there." What are you waiting for?" I ask, and I'm just so fucking terrified that his answer would be,' I don't wanna share my bed with someone like you' but he just stands there for a moment before walking to the other side of the bed and sliding under the covers. I wait to hear his breath even, before I turn around to face him. I don't get to ever do this, I never really get to just lie down and sleep with someone, I've tried once after the guy was finished with me but all I got in response was " what are you doing ugly bitch, get the fuck out of my house" and that was after three fucking rounds of him slapping me, pulling my hair and fucking my ass. Matt was different, for some reason he just was, I feel okay when I'm with him, a few hours ago I wouldn't even think about doing this, but a few hours ago, I didn't have a beautiful redhead sleeping next to me not even realizing what kind of person he's sharing his bed with. I wrap my arms around his waist and push myself closer to him, I burry my face in his chest and inhale the refreshing smell of.. Matt..I close my eyes and drift into sleep, I hope he doesn't throw me out in the morning, something inside of me tells me he's not that kind of person, but that something inside of me, have been wrong too many times for me to count..

I woke up I don't know how many hours later, I was able to see the sunlight coming from the window, but I didn't care, I felt a warm body next to me and I scooted closer to it, that's when I remembered who this person is, Matt, memories of last night returned to me, how he helped me, I felt two arms on my waist pulling me closer as he shifted so that his head was on top of mine, naturally I buried my face in his chest, feeling safe for probably the first time in my life.

For some reason, which I'm fully aware of, I don't want to go back to my apartment, even though I haven't known Matt for even a whole day, I want to stay with him, stop fucking around with strangers that are just using me, I just want to feel accepted, not because I'm letting someone fuck me but for.. me .That hadn't happened to me in a long time.. actually that never happened to me..

I look up at Matt to discover blue eyes gazing down at me, I blush but don't move away from him, he takes some time to actually realize the position we're in, and he retreats his arms from around my waist, we both sit up, he grimaces and holds his head in his hands, and I know he's having a major headache like me..hangover shit and all..

"'morning" he mumbles rubbing his eyes

"Good morning" I reply smiling at him.

He stands from the bed having a tough time balancing himself on his feet, and heads toward the bathroom, he stops when he reaches the door and looks at me over his shoulder "I'll take a shower, I won't take long, you can go next, then I'll go get us some breakfast, the only thing I have here are noodles and bags of chips..oh- and I'll have to get some aspirin..or whatever cause it feels like my brain has exploded"

"okay" I reply simply, not bothering to ask if he actually knows what a brain explosion feels like, or how he could still function in that condition, he closes the door and I hear the water running in the shower, not even fifteen minutes later he gets out of the bathroom, a towel hanging loosely around his waist, his red hair wet, dripping on his naked chest, I follow a single drop that lands on his right shoulder and runs down his chest, I lifted my hand to my mouth, just to check if I was drooling, my eyes now looking at his face, he blushes a light shade of pink, and looks back at me.

"You can shower now, clean towels are in the closet In the..you know what? Never mind, just wait I'll get them for you "he turns and walks out the bedroom door, I head toward the bathroom eager to have a hot shower without actually having to, it's weird, I think as I pull the pajama top over my head, I haven't woken up without a throbbing ass in so long, it's kind of.. not agonizing to walk.. my chest doesn't hurt because it usually does since I know what I'm doing is wrong, I take off my pants and boxers and pull the curtains of the shower so I can step in, but I don't close them, instead I stare back at the blurry creature in the mirror, I lift my right hand to the scarred side of my face, I should have gotten used to this, it's been months since I got this scar-I trail my hand over it, until I reach its end, on my left hip- but it's never been the same since then, every time I look in a mirror, I fail to recognize myself, all my attention automatically lands on the left side, if I can't get over the hideous creature I had become…how can others? –I hear a gasp and turn to look at the doorway, there, stood Matt, a dark blue towel in his hand, he was still wrapped in one himself, his eyes wide with surprise.

No one would believe me if I told them this, but I'm saying it anyway, this is actually the first time someone, anyone, sees me completely naked, even the strangers that fuck me every night didn't do that, they were too caught up in their lust to see the rest of me, some have just pulled my pants down and pushed me to a wall, some bent me with my hands on the toilet in the public bathroom, some didn't even bother taking off my pants, they just rip them off, or slid them down just enough to get their dicks up my ass, before the scar I never had the chance to do that, the girls were so needy that they wanted my hands all over them and my dick inside..

So this is different, he saw my scar, now he knows not only am I flawed in my face but also in other places..

"I-I ..I'm s-sorry" he stutters shutting his eyes tightly and opening his arms in front of him blindly looking for a place to put the towel.. I shake my head at him, he's hopeless, I think as I step out, not completely wet, I stand in front of him, his eyes still shut and arms in place with the towel in his left hand, I take a few steps forward and the index finger of his right hand lands just bellow my left shoulder, it stays put for a second before tracing down the scar, a feather touch, softer than any I received, I didn't pull away, just looking at him as he opens his eyes looking at me surprised, he trails the scar with his eyes before he looks back at me, his face almost redder than his hair. He hands me the towel, fighting not to look below my waist, but failing as I caught him doing so.

"I'll get dressed and gone, I won't take long", he says after closing the door and walking in the bedroom.

I enter the shower once more, twenty minutes later I was in Matt's bedroom looking for my clothes, I found them right where I left them, on a chair in the corner of the room, I run my fingers on the leather material, I liked that, liked the fact that it was so tight, so close to my skin, that it was a second layer of flesh, another skin, one that covers the scars, it almost makes me forget about those, almost being the key word, cause no matter what, I don't seem to find, something, anything that does that, not that I didn't wear leather before the incident, but now I feel exposed without it, it's not something to look sexy or badass in anymore..

I get dressed and dry my hair with the towel as much as I can, I find Matt already back, he was sitting on a chair in the kitchen sipping his morning coffee.

"hey" he says as I sit across the table from him

"Hi" I reply, not really sure what to say..

"I made coffee" he stands up walking to the kitchen counter and purring me some of the black liquid in a mug "I didn't find anything to buy, so I brought cupcakes..oh- and I got more chocolate" he grins at me handing me a cupcake as well.

"thanks" I say as I take them from him sending him a smile of appreciation..

We sit there, the only sounds are of us sipping coffee, there has been a lot of firsts for me since I met this guy, and this is a first too, the first time I have breakfast since I got the scar, the first time I have it with someone, I don't know what's wrong with me thinking like that, but there's so much I want to know about this man, I hope today won't be the last I see of him..

"so how old are you now?" I ask breaking the silence

"oh- I just turned twenty one !" he says excitedly grinning a cheeky grin "how old are you?"

"twenty one, but my birthday is on the thirteenth of December"

"you must've had a lot of fun, being legal and all" that reminded me of how I ruined his special night, just yesterday, but no, I did not have fun on my birthday, that used to be the case before the scar, my birthday, was a rare occasion that I didn't go home with, or get fucked by anyone in the club, on my way back at the hellhole of an apartment I live in, two guys pushed me in an alley, both armed, they ripped my pants, and took turns on me, I guess you can call that rape, but that's what most of my nights were like..

I don't answer him, but I think he gets the idea, that it's not a good memory ,so he asks " what are you going to do about that dude?"

"his name is Jim, he's a-"

" I know who he is, I just never caught his name, I know the shit that he did, that's why I didn't let you with him, you know he could have done something.." he trails off, probably not finding the words..why the fuck does he even care?

"yeah" I simply answer "thanks" he doesn't reply but asks after a moment" so what are gonna do? I mean you said he knows where you live.."

"you know, you made it even worse by punching him, last night could have been just fucking around on the dance floor, or just fucking me somewhere, and then he probably would let me go, and forget completely that I exist, but now he's gonna be looking for us"

"maybe, but he doesn't exactly know me.. and as for you, just don't go back to your place"

"what do you suggest I do? I don't have anywhere to go to, and all my things and my money are back in the apartment" I sigh " never mind, I'm not dragging you into this shit" I stand up "let me get my jacket then I'm out of here" I say heading toward his bedroom, I don't know how the fuck he did that, but he jumped off his seat and stood in my way.

"what the fuck? No, it's true, I punched the guy and put us into this, so I have the right to help, you can just stay with me, as for the money, I have enough for the both of us, you can just buy new stuff"

"what if he finds out where you live?" I ask

"he won't.. and just in case he does, we can move if you want, I can move out by the end of the day."

"why…why are you doing this ? you don't even know me !"I scream at him "what am I? your charity work? I can take care of myself! Don't you dare pity me! You've done enough,!" I push him out of my way but he grabs my arm.

"I don't pity you ! is it so fucking wrong that I want to hel-"

"I don't need your help! I'm fi-"

"no you're not !" he cuts me off, screaming as well, "don't give me that bullshit! Is it so fucking hard to believe that I'm just trying to help? If you go back to your place we both know you're doomed, if you don't, you'll be on the streets, with no money and nothing at all, he probably knows all the places you go to, he tracks his victims, he won't let you go, do you understand? This is not a game, I'm just being nice here, I promise I won't ask you to do or give me anything so just…just stay with me..I'll keep you safe" his voice is calm now, almost a whisper "I see you going with a random guy every night, they just use you, hurt you, yet you come back, you always do, why can't you see what I see? They don't deserve you, no one does, so why are you doing this to yourself? Stay..please.."

I stare at him, wide eyed, he already knows me? But I haven't seen him before, he'll keep me safe? No one ever promised me that.. "why bother? Why do you care? You're willing to move, and go off track just because someone you barely know needs your help?"

"you're not just someone, Mello, you're…you..what have you got to lose? I'll keep you company, I can start packing now, and we'll be on our way in no time, we can just, go. wherever, ..I c-care about you.."

I wasn't listening anymore, it's true, I have no one, that much is true, but here he is, telling me that he cared, a person, that only just yesterday, I never knew existed, what could he possibly gain by doing this? If he wants to fuck me he could've done that last night—I have to stop thinking like this, Matt has an bright happy aura around him, he seems, fragile, innocent, and I'll trust him, I'll trust him with my life, the first person who actually gives a shit about me, cares for me, who am I to push them away? A familiar voice in my head, one I've been listening to for months says to me are you even worth it? And the answer in my mind is simply : maybe not, but I'll be here as long as he wants me to be..

Disappointed are you? Yeah well.. I tried.