Sorry, I had massive writer's block with this part. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited or alerted.
They sit on Jason's bed, Nadia perched precariously on the edge as if half considering fleeing, Peter and Jason against the headboard Jason had smacked his head into once, leaning against each other like doing too much would break them apart. They've grown too used to hiding away on their own for this to feel comfortable, but it's warm and Nadia knows.
Peter still has to remind himself of that every so often.
None of them say anything. Peter looks down at his hands, nails bitten to the quick and colourful gel bracelet on his left hand, like a sort of friendship bracelet Jason had brought for him from some money-raising event his mother had funded once.
"I didn't sleep with her," Jason says again, and Peter feels slightly embarrassed at the fresh wave of sheer relief he gets every time Jason says it, though the story does not change in the telling.
"I know," he says softly, but knowing and truly believing something are two very different things.
"Ivy's a bitch," Nadia says sullenly, like many times before.
Jason laughs, breathy and a touch desperate; a madman's laugh. "Yeah, she is."
Nadia grins suddenly, slightly sardonic and says, "I'd say I told you so, but that's mean even for me." She pauses, "I don't know what to tell you, but definitely rule out calling Dad."
Jason shakes his head, the movement making him look uncharacteristically vulnerable, "No." he agrees, then "Is there any way we can prove she's lying before she would start to show?"
"But she might," Peter says, because despite thinking herself in love with Jason, which she can't be, because people in love don't try to hurt the other person, Ivy's slept with more boys than times they've argued about coming out.
"Padding you mean?" Nadia shrugs, "Maybe, but eventually there would be no baby."
"No, she might really be pregnant," Peter says, and doesn't think about how it sounds until Jason's eyes go dull, and Nadia starts picking at loose threads on the sleeve of her jumper.
"You believe…" Jason murmurs, and Peter snaps out a hasty "She's hardly a virgin," because he really doesn't want to hear it, especially since he's not sure he fully believes Jason about anything anymore, but at least he's trying.
They're all trying, but Peter feels like he's been trying forever, but everything he tries for untangles like an errant piece of string, and he's just so tired of it.
"She's a slut." Nadia shrugs, considering "No, it makes sense. It could easily be someone else's."
"Can you do DNA checks on unborn babies?" Jason asks, leaning forward slightly, disturbingly eager, and Peter winces, imagining needles piercing multiple layers of flesh. It hurt enough with just one skin, without something reaching inside you and inside you again.
"I don't think so," Nadia says quietly. "It'll have to be a really long needle, and they might end up accidentally killing it." It, Peter notes, not really a person but merely an inconvenience. She continues, "Pierce its heart or whatever."
"Probably not then," Jason sighs, running a hand through his hair, "It would be easier, though."
"Ever heard that life wasn't easy?" Nadia says, raising an eyebrow, and just for minute, it all seems normal. "Guys, there isn't anything we can do, except ignore her. It's not like she can prove it." It's addressed to both of them, but she's only looking at Jason, like Peter is something different now that she knows the truth, like talking to both of them at once, as a couple, is too much acknowledgement than she's ready for. It hurts, because if Peter was a girl, no one would ever care.
Nadia stands up, "I'm hungry; are you coming?"
Yes, Peter thinks, but then Jason says no, so they don't. It wouldn't be fair to leave him alone after something like this.
He could, Peter thinks, swiftly followed by a vehement no, no.
Nadia says goodbye after that and leaves, and they sit there in silence for a while, until Jason looks over, and thanks him quietly.
"It's fine." Says Peter curtly.
"No, I" Jason pauses, considering "Seriously, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Ivy is probably the worst."
And Peter can't help it; he practically feels his smile stretch across his face, and when he blinks he finds to his surprise, that his eyes are wet. "You too," he chokes out, and then doesn't say anything more, pulling Jason to him, his hands reaching up to tangle in Jason's hair. Unusually, they bump noses; Peter's vision so blurry he can barely see, and he can't even feel Jason maneuver him back against the bed, focusing instead on Jason's hands, one gripping Peter's shoulder tight, the other curled loosely around his hip.
He wonders when this all got so complicated. They used to just be happy in this room, no matter what went on outside of it.
"Zack and Lucas, Connor and Sophie, Tanya and Nadia," Peter and Jason, Jason and Peter, oh, God, please, Peter thinks, fingering the small crucifix on a chain around his neck.
Of course Dr Wathey would give them all a project during the last few weeks of their time at St. Cecilia's, like she was worried she hadn't had time to torture them enough during the past few years. She continued blithely, "Diane and Ivy, Hannah and Alex, Peter and," Jason, "Matt." Peter sighs, and sees Jason give him a pitying look out of the corner of his eye, even as Matt turns around, lips drawn tight across a pale face. There are shadows under his eyes, like he hasn't slept all night. Peter knows all too well how that feels, but he can't bring himself to feel sorry for Matt, not now.
When Dr Wathey finishes with the pairs, Matt sits himself hesitantly on the chair next to Peter. "Look, can we just ignore," he makes an odd gesture with his hand, as if batting off a particularly vicious fly, "whatever is happening?"
"How can you believe her?" Peter asks.
"How can you not?" Matt replies, and maybe for him, it is still that simple.
It used to be that simple for Peter too, at least when it came to Jason. It seems like a very long time ago.
"I love him," he says instead, because Matt already knows, and soon everyone else will too.
He can kind of understand how Jason feels about this now. Coming out seems much easier as an abstract, unobtainable concept.
"I love her too," Matt says softly.
"She doesn't love you back," he replies, because being nice about it would take too much effort.
"It doesn't matter," says Matt. "For once she actually wants me around, and I'm willing to take whatever I can get," he pauses. "Like you do with Jason."
"That's different," Peter objects. "He loves me back," because that, at least, is simple.
"Does he really?" Matt asks, raising an eyebrow. "Because to be honest, most of the time I doubt he loves anyone. Except his precious reputation."
"What, the one you try so hard to destroy?"
"I hate liars" says Matt.
"And yet, Ivy."
"You can't prove she's lying," he snaps.
"You can't prove Jason is either," Peter replies. "Look, you don't know him like I do, alright?"
"Thank god for that," mutters Matt, who has apparently decided his eyebrows-raising muscles haven't gotten enough exercise today.
"Peter, Matt, is your conversation more interesting than my lesson?" Dr Wathey calls out from the front. Yes, Peter thinks. "Kindly get back to work."
"We're just deciding who's doing what." Matt replies, as Dr Wathey goes back to whatever she did on her laptop all lesson.
He flicks through a booklet for a minute, before saying "How about I do task one and four and you do two and three?"
"One and three," says Peter, who doesn't understand the differences between various river deltas, and frankly doesn't really care.
"Fine," says Matt curtly and turns away. Peter opens the atlas and tries to concentrate on labeling the area around the confluence in Manaus, even as he can feel Jason's gaze scorching the back of his head from where he's sitting with Lily Stretch.
Rio Negro, he writes. His writing comes out surprisingly smooth, yet his hands won't stop shaking.