Lost Memories/Amnesia Girl Chapter 31

"Mu," Waltfeld said catching up with him in the halls of the Archangel. He propelled himself through space and when he was close enough Mu slowed down Waltfeld to a slower pace.

"Yeah?" the blonde replied. They were pretty similar and were becoming pretty close friends. Waltfeld thought of Amarante becoming embarrassed because of their eccentric ways.

"I meant to tell you the other day…I had the honor of meeting your little cousin," Waltfeld replied. He was well aware that he probably had several cousins but Waltfeld knew that Mu knew who he was talking about. Yet Mu raised an eye brow looking at the one eyed man.

"Oh? Which one?" Mu asked kind of half listening to the conversation. His mind was filled with everything that was going on. He hadn't thought about anything else not even Amarante.

"Little Amarante," Waltfeld replied. Waltfeld found it cute to call her little Amarante. She was so petite and adorable at times. Sometimes she was more like a small child than an actual soldier. Mu's thoughts momentarily froze as Amarante's name echoed in his mind. Then coming back to reality Mu stared at him.

"What? Amarante!" Mu said surprised. Waltfeld was surprised that Mu didn't know. Then again she didn't talk about her family much. Amarante was quite secretive even though she did share a lot of her past with her "father."

"Yes, she was a part of my forces at Banadiya. She spoke very highly of you," Waltfeld praised. He never heard a dull or negative word about her big cousin Mu La Flaga. It was kind of odd knowing this much about this former enemy soldier.

"I thought she was going to study in the PLANTs?" Mu demanded. How did this happen? How could she have done this? Sure, he was in the military but he didn't believe she was that influenced by it. Mu scratched the back of his head in a frustrated angry manner. He let out a frustrated sigh as he tried to sort it all out in his head.

"Don't look at me; I don't know why she stopped her studies. According to her, her father sent her to the PLANTs to study but then signed up in the Z.A.F.T. military. She said that if she did go into Z.A.F.T. she'd be out of his hair for good," Waltfeld replied. If what he said was true…Was she a pilot, hopefully not, Mu thought. He looked at the one armed man yearning to know more but too afraid to ask.

"Was she a pilot?" Mu asked quietly. Waltfeld knew what he was thinking about. The only way for Amarante to ever meet and get to know him was for her to be assigned underneath him.

"Yes. She piloted a customized BuCUE, tan and blue," Waltfeld replied. Then that feeling…It was someone I knew…oh Amarante. How did you get involved in this bloody war? Mu thought going through his hair again. His head was already racing at a fast pace he didn't need it picking up more and more speed.

"I see," Mu said in an even quieter voice. Waltfeld gave a reassuring smile before placing his good hand on his shoulder. He needed to cheer up his new friend somehow.

"Don't worry. She's not dead, but even though her body is alive…she dead on the inside," Waltfeld replied. Watching the blonde man carefully, Andy noticed that "the weight" on Mu's shoulders seemed to have been lifted, but only slightly.

Mu let out a sigh of relief, "What do you mean she's dead on the inside?" Waltfeld almost feared what Andy was going to say.

"She has amnesia. The only person she actually remembers is DaCosta. No one else really," Waltfeld said with a sigh. "Over the time she was there at the base, we became very close. I'm glad she's alive but I wish she would remember something."

"Is she still shy?" Mu asked him. He could remember when Amarante would first meet people…she would hide behind him blushing softly. Mu would always have to force her to talk to others and not to stick to him like glue.

"Somewhat. She's grown out of it a lot. Amarante is still very sweet and loving," Waltfeld replied. She was more willing to walk up to people and chat but at other times she was so unwilling that Waltfeld had to pull her along.

"So where is she now? If you know?" Mu asked. He was curious to what Waltfeld knew about Amarante and how much he knew. Amarante was an innocent girl who always tried to be the best and it was likely that she would let it shine to her commanding officer.

"I'm not sure. Last time I was able to check. She was finishing her "brain" testing, I guess you could say," Waltfeld said thoughtfully. "I used to send DaCosta to check on her but I can't do that now, can I?" He chuckled softly wanting to see the girl's bright and happy face at least one more time. By now she was probably being used as a war machine.

"So the poor thing has amnesia, eh?" Mu asked thinking about what he had heard. He imagined the last time he had seen her: She wore a beret, and a long scarf that she had doubled around her neck. Amarante had been so excited that she was going to the PLANTS, and at that time Mu was happy for her.

"Yeah. Before taking this ship and defecting, I went to go see her. The way she looked at me was as if she had never seen me before in her life," Waltfeld sighed. He still regretted that he couldn't protect the girl and after the war…he was going to protect and watch over the girl like a hawk.

"Out of everything, I'm glad that she's alright. After the war is over hopefully we can find her," Mu said hopefully. He placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder before giving him an iconic Mu smile.

Shiho watched over the proceeding, she was filling in for Amarante since she had been so hurt by Nicol's death. They were going to hunt down the renegade ship Eternal. She was shocked to hear that Commander Waltfeld THE Desert Tiger had defected from Z.A.F.T. He was one of the most decorated War Heroes. He was one of the few that went up against the Strike and survive. Through gossip, Shiho was shocked to learn that Amarante was one of those select few, yet she and he paid the price of their survival.

"Yzak," Commander Le Creuset began attracting the boy's attention, "From now on Athrun is your enemy…Can you shoot him down?" Yzak made a slight frown knowing that since he knew Athrun it would be harder to shoot him down or if Dearka was still alive. He stayed quiet for a moment debating his options.

"Yes sir! As I would any traitor!" the boy replied. Shiho thought about the statement as well. Of course she'd be able to shoot down any traitor. They would leak any and all information! Also they betrayed the PLANTs! They were dismissed afterwards, Shiho made a beeline for the elevator but was surprised to hear her name being called. It was Yzak of all people. He joined her in the elevator quickly. She stopped the blush from coming on to her face by biting on her lip as he stood next to her.

"How's Amarante?" he asked in a very concerned tone. Yzak was going to keep his promise to Nicol. He had to watch out for her and keep her out of trouble. Yet Amarante normally stayed out of trouble except for the occasional snap at another soldier.

"She doesn't cry anymore. She's recovering thankfully. Ahhh…sir, who was Nicol?" Shiho asked quietly. Amarante would always cry when she heard his name or would mumble incoherent words to herself when she saw his picture.

"He was a comrade of mine. We've known each other since the academy. Nicol met Amarante at Carpentaria when she was recovering from her injuries. Then all of us were transferred to Gibraltar. Nicol and Amarante were so similar that everyone expected that their relationship would be more of a brother/sister relationship. I think in their relationship no one was the dominate one," Yzak replied. The elevator slowed and Shiho was getting more and more into what Yzak was saying. She wanted to know more about Nicol and what happened on Earth. She had only been a space soldier. Some parts of her wanted to see the full front of the war but Shiho was terrified about becoming messed up in the head.

"I see," Shiho muttered. It seemed like Commander Joule had a hidden soft side. Suddenly, Yzak's brows furrowed as the elevator came to a halt. There was a soft ding and Shiho just looked at him curiously. He was proving to be an interesting commander. She was becoming curious about what serving under Commander Waltfeld was like.

"Don't tell anyone I said any of that!" Yzak growled at her as the door finally opened. He left before her taking her outstretched hand and pulling her gently along with him. Shiho was curious to what he was thinking about when he did that. She couldn't resist the blush that had crept on to her face.

"Yes sir," Shiho replied as he pushed her in her desired direction. Yzak watched her go before pushing off in another direction. About 10 to 20 minutes later Shiho approached her room with Amarante. Entering the room she saw her roommate just staring off into the distance like normal. She tended to do that when she was alone. Shiho just believed that Amarante was probably just thinking about her deceased boyfriend.

"Shiho…You know what's funny?" Amarante asked with a small hysterical chuckle. Shiho looked at her briefly wondering what had gotten into the girl because most of the time she didn't even talk with Shiho.

"What?" Shiho asked, beginning to take off her uniform jacket. She didn't like wearing it when she didn't have to. Amarante chuckled hysterically again drying the tears on her face. She had been thinking about what she was going to tell Shiho all day long.

"I'm not very sure who I am anymore. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions. Today I just want to die…No one will miss me. I think everyone will be…" Amarante tried to say but was slapped across the face. It had been about two weeks since she had joined the ship. You could hear Shiho breathing loudly as Amarante just sat there in a dazed position from Shiho slapping her. Amarante looked at Shiho's face seeing that even she seemed surprised that she had slapped Amarante.

"How can you stoop so low to say something like that? YOU wear the elite red uniform! How can you say that NO ONE cares for you? What do you think Nicol would say if he heard you saying?" Shiho snapped shaking the girl. Amarante looked at her with wide fearful eyes. Her green eyes that used to be filled with life and happiness were now filled with grief and sorrow.

"I…I…I don't know what he would say," Amarante said weakly. Shiho let out an annoyed sigh sitting next to her. She thought over what she wanted to say quietly before turning to her friend. Amarante was looking down at her feet as Shiho placed a hand on her opposite shoulder.

"You know I care about you. We're fellow soldiers and friends. I would never let any of my friends die," Shiho explained with a sigh. Amarante didn't want to have this talk Shiho but she also knew that she needed it.

"But," Amarante began. Shiho was not going to let Amarante berate herself into oblivion. Shiho gave her friend a gentle hug before rubbing her shoulders in a comforting way. Amarante gave a little smile knowing that someone actually did care about her. She didn't have that many people who were close to her again.

"Nicol also cared about, and it seems like he cared about you a lot! Yzak cares about you. He even seems worried about you! You have people and colleagues that go out of their way to find and help you! So you're telling me that NO ONE cares about you?" Shiho snapped. Amarante looked down at her shoes once more ashamed at her actions and her thoughts after Nicol's death.

"Shiho…" Amarante muttered. She was right…but Nicol was gone. He wasn't going to come back to her like he promised. He was never coming back, and Amarante still needed him.

They heard a knock on the door before hearing a voice. It had been about three days since Shiho's and Amarante's stand-off. Amarante had gone back to being partially mute and Shiho didn't mind. They still talked and it was beginning to become more positive as Amarante's heart healed.

"Amarante Takahashi…Commander Le Creuset wants to see you," a soldier said through the intercom. Shiho was glad that Amarante wasn't crying as she stood up. The soldier opened the door waiting stiffly for Amarante to follow after him.

"Yes, right away," Amarante replied going to the door and leaving with the soldier. Reaching his office the soldier then knocked on his door. This soldier kind of reminded Amarante of DaCosta which made Amarante want to giggle.

"I have Amarante Takahashi sir," the soldier replied. She had a quick flashback of a beautifully furnished hallway with a stiff DaCosta knocking on the door. Shaking the thoughts away Amarante stood next to that soldier.

"Send her in," Le Creuset ordered. The other soldier opened the door and Amarante entered the room. She felt a slight weird sensation dodging a ball thrown at her. It bounced against the now closing door before coming past her head. She was alarmed at the motion. He didn't seem like eccentric type.

"Sir?" Amarante mustered with a slight suspicious glare.

"Just as I thought," Le Creuset muttered standing up from behind his desk. Amarante stayed near the door looking back at him. She could feel his eyes upon her which made her cringe slightly.

"Excuse me sir?" Amarante asked as he approached her. She slowly inched towards the wall not wanting him anywhere near her.

"Haven't you felt that sensation? Don't you find it odd that you can sense my presence, as I can sense yours," Le Creuset said in a deadly tone cornering her against the wall. She didn't like how this was going, and she quickly escaped his grip.

"What…What do you mean?" Amarante asked. She felt that feeling…but she was so unsure about all this. What did all of this mean, as Le Creuset stood in the spot where he had cornered her.

"I know you have lost your memories," Le Creuset began, "but this may have been a blessing for you. Your powers have been heightened since the last time I saw you. Haven't you ever wondered why this occurs?" Amarante didn't really like how creepy this man was and how much did he know about her.

"Huh?" Amarante muttered. She was so confused but she didn't want to know more. She had a sickening feeling in her stomach which she hated. Yet she had to be stronger than this man.

"Amarante, haven't you ever wondered why you can perform better than most coordinators…hmpf, but not Kira Yamato," Le Creuset chuckled. Amarante growled but everything was passing her by so quickly. Why was all of this happening to her?

"Kira? Sir I don't understand," Amarante muttered but the name was ringing a bell. Where had she heard that name before? She wasn't really sure how she knew the name but Amarante wanted to get out of the room. Amarante was shocked at how formal she was being with her strange commander as well.

"You were no accident. No, you were all according to plan," Le Creuset chuckled in an evil manner.

"Sir…what is this?" Amarante asked but the tone was demanding. Her hands were beginning to shake. Why was he playing mind games with head? Her head was beginning to send small pings of pain with all of the information that the man was sending her. Rau le Creuset chuckled taking off the mask that hidden his face. Amarante gasped seeing how young her commander was and how much she looked like someone she had known in the past. The man chuckled evilly looking into the girl's fearful eyes.

"Your father was a geneticist like many people at the time of your birth. With the success of the Ultimate Coordinator project many scientists wanted to out-compete the project. In comes your father, who knew he couldn't beat Dr. Hibiki's work. So he moved on to something that was already present in our families, high spatial awareness. Your father was more reckless with life than Dr. Hibiki," the man snickered, "Your poor mother was on treatment to release more eggs that were later harvested."

"OUR Family? My mom? What's going on?" Amarante said taking more of a defensive stance

"It seems like you have more of the La Flaga blood in you than I thought. I also belong to that accursed family" Le Creuset laughed as he approached the girl again. She was in the middle of his office her body frozen with fear but her face was something different. He could see the fury of her cousin Mu in her face.

"La Flaga? You're nuts!" Amarante snapped raising her hand to smack him down. He grabbed her wrist pulling it behind her in a controlling hold. It forced her to turn around so she wasn't facing him. She could feel his breath on her neck and on her ear.

"We'll get to the Flaga family later. You were manufactured by the Alliance as a tool for destruction. You and your sister were to be the Alliance's super weapon. Your father is an active member of Blue Cosmos. He wanted to make the perfect weapon for wiping out Coordinators using your mother as his egg donor and abandoned & orphaned children as his test subjects. Your natural brothers and sisters died one after another, not having the ability to safely harbor your special powers. Your mother finally had enough…she didn't want to be his egg donor anymore. She then retreated to space to have a child. There she learned the wonders of having a coordinator child. Without the consent of your father she impregnated herself with your sister who then split into you, before returning to Earth. Like normal he took the eggs from your mother and subjected them into the right conditioning to become the spatial aware twins the Alliance had hoped for. Hn…Think of how much your mother must have fought to keep you two inside of her. Your father thought that it was a miracle that you two survived before the mother revealed your true status. He was pretty furious…he almost killed your mother then but he needed to keep up appearances so he could continue his research.

After you two were born he tried relentlessly to kill you but it then dawned on him. HE would be destroying his very creation. You probably don't even remember but while you were little you were subjected to further testing to make sure you had the proper awareness. You were lucky that you did…or he would have strangled you two right then and there. It was so much more, than he even believed. You two were his puppets for the Alliance, and he was proud that he had something useful to them. Yet, he couldn't love you two. You two were what he despised. A dirty, filthy coordinator. Your mother always tried to make him love you and you know what? One day he got sick of it and the fact that her inheritance would go to you, and you alone…he killed her, without getting his own hands dirty. He only loved that you could communicate with each other telepathically. I doubt you even remember communicating with your older sister as a young child. Yet you were "unruly" after your mother's death and you would do anything you could to leave. Not that I wouldn't blame you. Even though you were supposed to join the Alliance, you have been a very helpful unknowing spy for them. As of now your sister could possibly be watching everything you're doing through your telepathic connection. The Flaga family and I are not as capable as you. Amarante, the wayward daughter…I wouldn't be surprised that even if you didn't have amnesia now that your former self didn't even know of this.

Your father was a fool. If he had just taken the money that the idiot I'm cloned after your father could have continued his practice…He left cloning all up to Dr. Hibiki, so he could create the perfect soldiers. Aren't you the perfect little toy for all of us to toy with, you your sister and a couple of others? You're the treasured queen on this chess board. The one that will give incite and wisdom to the enemy side. And you know something little Amarante…you're never going to escape your fate because mankind will destroy itself. You were made for destruction little Amarante…why don't you help me fulfill the destiny of mankind," Le Creuset said in a delightfully wicked tone into her ear. Her eyes were wide at the nonsense she had just heard.

"ENOUGH!" Amarante cried out. She was done listening to this…this mad man! She couldn't believe that this was happening. Using her free arm she finally escaped his hold. Amarante glared into his unmasked face in an attack stance this time. She didn't care what happened…she wanted that guy dead and she didn't trust him one bit.

"I'm not surprised that you don't believe me. All in due time…you'll see the truth," Le Creuset replied opening the door of his office. In disbelief and deeply troubled, Amarante darted out of the room. Amarante just dusted herself off looking at her very quickly before at a nearby corner.

"Sorry," Amarante muttered. Frightened the girl just backed away from her. If Shiho had told her correctly, she was supposed to be the prisoner on board. Yet she was able to travel the ship and view their plans. She didn't say anything as Amarante just continued to her room. Inside she closed the door before sliding to the floor. A Clone? What did he mean by that? Am I really only a tool for the Alliance? What does this all mean? Amarante thought before scruffing up her hair. Shiho raised an eye brow wondering what had happened with Commander Le Creuset.

"Are you alright?" Shiho asked. She was working on the blue prints for her CGUE like normal.

"Yeah," Amarante said with a deep sigh. Yet Shiho saw that her face was white as a ghost, in spite of her dark complexion.

"What happened?" Shiho asked. Now Shiho was hovering above her with a hand on Amarante's shoulder. Amarante jolted up quickly the hairs on her neck standing up sending shivers down her spine.

"Ah…Nothing," Amarante muttered trying to brush it off. Yet Shiho defiantly wouldn't allow it to be brushed off so easily.

"Then why is your face as white as a ghost?" Shiho asked.

"I said it's nothing!" Amarante snapped, before leaving the room. Shiho sighed slightly before going back to her work. Amarante still needed some time to relax and absorb the fact that her boyfriend was dead. Shiho went back to her work in the cool room. Time passed before she heard a loud thud against a wall. She came out of the room to see her superior, Yzak Joule, pressing two soldiers against the wall.

"How dare you accuse one of my comrades of being a crybaby! I doubt you know what she's been through!" Yzak hollered. The soldiers looked terrified staring at their superior. Yzak defiantly wasn't a person to mess with. Many soldiers avoided him at all costs.

"B-But sir," one uttered. Yzak's enraged eyes flew to that quivering soldier.

"She lost her memories and everyone looked at her as an oddity or as a sideshow attraction! "Hey look it's Amnesia Girl!" They used to say! Or "I wonder if she really doesn't remember anything…It's probably just for show!" Then she lost her boyfriend!" Yzak hollered into their faces.

"Commander Joule?" Shiho said softly, she placed a hand at her heart disliking the angered Yzak.

"What?" Yzak snapped in his usual tone. He turned his head towards Shiho. He was in a rage that was normally only seen on the battlefield. He released the two soldiers that scampered off in two different directions.

"What's going on?" Shiho asked in a slightly demanding but confused voice. She didn't want to anger him anymore but he seemed to relax more with her in front of him.

Yzak started with an angry but regretful huff, "While I was a part of the Waltfeld team, in Banadiya…

Flashback

"Hmpf, you're just like Nicol. People who don't deserve to wear this elite uniform! You're the kind of people who will most likely get injured. No…you'll die! I'm sure of it!" Yzak snapped. Amarante was surprised at his words…she was about to remain silent. Amarante was numb at this moment…He was a comrade…Why would he say such a thing?

"Why do you wish this on people? Especially on your comrades! If I have to I'll prove that I'm a great pilot just you wait and see! I'll prove it even if I die!" Amarante hollered.

End Flashback

"Looking back now I can't even believe I said that. I was an arrogant and cocky bastard. Then she was injured and a couple months after that Nicol died," Yzak finished. Amarante's words echoed inside his mind. He was horrified at the fact that he almost pushed this kind girl to her death.

"Oh…Where is Amarante right now?" Shiho asked. It had been awhile since she had seen her friend.

"She's in the hangar working. That's when I overheard those two idiots harassing her. She just sat there and took it before getting annoyed and closing the hatch. I went to the cockpit of her machine and listened to see if she was crying but it was just dead quiet in there. Maybe you can get her out. She trusts you," Yzak said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Yes sir," Shiho replied before making a beeline for the hangar. She thought over what Yzak had said before letting out a sigh. Was Commander Joule really that heartless? What kind of mistakes did these war veterans make in the past. Making it down to the hangar she saw a commotion at Amarante's machine. She was still inside and it was still silent on the inside. Worried that she had commit suicide…Shiho ordered the machine opened only to find that Amarante had just fallen asleep inside her mobile suit.