Lost Memories/Amnesia Girl Chapter 32

When off duty Amarante began to slowly allow Pom-pom to follow her around with her. It was fun, especially seeing the reactions of her fellow soldiers. Today she was meeting up with Shiho to go eat lunch. She was her best friend and the buddy system worked pretty well on this ship. In the cafeteria Amarante noticed that Shiho seemed very distracted. Almost nothing could get her out of her trance. So Amarante thought of a devilish plan to get her attention.

"So, do you have anyone that you like?" Amarante asked with a tone much like the late Aisha. Shiho's back immediately stiffened and her eyes and body became alert. Amarante giggled playfully before staring into her friend's eyes.

"Ah, like?" Shiho mumbled her face turned red as Amarante gave a smile. Shiho averted her eyes away from the Tiger-like girl.

"Yes like," Amarante replied with a giggle. Amarante found this too good to be true. Yet who did Shiho like? Amarante really wanted to know now.

"No, I do not like anyone," Shiho answered fumbling with her straw. Amarante just raised an eyebrow before leaning back in her chair crossing her legs. Shiho continued to look away from her friend but it only caused her to squirm.

"Well your body language says otherwise," Amarante said nonchalantly picking up her drink, taking a sip. Shiho's body stiffened and her insides began to panic.

"Really?" Shiho asked turning even more red. Amarante then smiled wickedly tossing her drink into the air before standing up leaning over the table towards Shiho.

"So who is it?" Amarante asked excitedly looking into Shiho's eyes. Shiho was shocked at Amarante's enthusiasm. Amarante was more of a low key and quiet person. At a near-by table several of the male pilots were laughing and chatting with each other. Amarante just chuckled, grabbing her drink, and sitting back down knowing that Shiho wouldn't DARE tell her in such an open place. Resuming eating her peas a pilot turned around towards her.

"Hey Amnesia what was it like to go up against the Strike?" a junior pilot asked. The phrase "the strike" repeated over and over in her mind like an echo. She released her fork staring off into the distance. Shiho notice her pupil shrank as Amarante began to shake.

Flashback

"We were both given orders weren't we Kira. To annihilate each other as soldiers! We're on different sides of the chess board. Pawns of the higher ups to control as they please. Even your ship's commander and Commander Waltfeld are pawns. Isn't that right Kira?" Amarante answered aiming her cannons at the Strike. She wanted to intimidate him into backing out of this fight. He froze for a moment realizing the truth in her statement.

"If you're trying to tell me to join Z.A.F.T. I'm not going to!" Kira hollered back charging her.

End Flashback

"Amarante? Hey are you alright?" Shiho asked shaking her slightly. Amarante didn't respond and Shiho began to get worried. The table of guys whispered to each other before pushing the pilot.

"Amnesia Girl, didn't you hear me? What was it like to go up against the Strike?" the junior pilot demanded. Amarante wrapped her hands around her waist beginning to lean over her plate as if she had a bad stomach ache.

"First off her name is Amarante not Amnesia Girl!" Shiho snapped before noticing that Amarante had shrunk in size and now was holding her head.

"Fine, Amarante, what was it like to go up against the strike?" the pilot said impatiently. Shiho hated this pilot, he was so arrogant and annoying. He believes that he's the best pilot there is, even better than Commander Joule and the pilot of the stolen ZGMF-X10A Freedom Gundam.

"Stop," Amarante mumbled placing her head down on the table. Her body was shaking so violently that Shiho was sure that her shaking would cause her to pass out.

"Get lost! She's in no mood to talk right now," Shiho growled as Amarante continued to shrink in size. Shiho finally left her seat placing her hands on Amarante's shoulders. She needed to be protected at this moment in time.

"You two shouldn't even be wearing the red uniform…I…I alone should wear it," the pilot growled in return. Shiho shot him a glare before gently rubbing Amarante's shoulders in a soothing manner.

"Come on Amarante," Shiho whispered to the girl. Amarante nodded as her best friend helped her stand up. Shiho had to get her to the infirmary or to her room. These headaches probably were not good for her. She threw away their food before escorting Amarante out of the room. Pompom followed after quickly trying to figure out what was wrong. The soldier also followed after them as well bringing up several questions from Amarante's past. She couldn't take it anymore; it felt like her head was being pulled apart. Amarante let out a scream due to the pain that she was feeling.

"STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" Amarante cried. Soldiers that were passing by stopped to see where the screams and cries were coming from. Amarante eyes began to water as she tried to stop the tears. Shiho was now raging mad, and it took a lot to make her THIS mad.

"I told you ENOUGH!" Shiho hollered pressing the boy against a wall. He seemed scared at one moment but he noticed that Shiho had left her body defenseless to attacks.

"Stupid girl, let go!" the soldier replied punching Shiho in the gut. She gasped but continued to hold on. The soldier was surprised that he punched her; even Yzak temper wouldn't go that far. Sure he may have pushed Athrun into a locker once but he had never punched anyone if they really didn't need it. Her eyes scrunched together as she began to lose her grip on the boy's collar.

"What the hell are you going to do?" Shiho demanded as Amarante just stooped on the ground holding her head. She seemed dazed and terrified as she tried to create artificial darkness by placing her head on the wall.

"I'm going to destroy those renegade mobile suits! I need to know what going up against a Gundam is like!" the pilot replied. Shiho rolled her eyes releasing the boy to hold her gut.

"What's going on here?" Yzak demanded. He already knew what was wrong with Amarante, but why were the other two fighting. Yzak already knew what Amarante's flashback moments were like and he was hoping that he won't have to use French to speak to her again.

"This crazy bitch was trying to beat me up," the pilot growled. Yzak raised an eye brow looking at Shiho before looking at the untouched boy. Yzak grumbled slightly before letting out a growl.

"She's not a crazy bitch and I hardly believe that Shiho was trying to beat you up!" Yzak snapped. He was the other new pilot they received besides Amarante. His name was William. He reminded Yzak of himself during the beginning of the war. Yet he didn't see the horrors that occurred on Earth.

"But sir," William whined. Yzak felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as his face turned slightly red with anger.

"Don't make me beat you up!" Yzak threatened. Now with fear in his heart for the sudden pain and fury of his commander William ran away at a quick speed. Yzak sighed with frustration before turning to the injured Shiho.

"Commander?" Shiho muttered, holding her gut. Yzak frowned slightly before returning to his normal gruff exterior.

"Are you okay Shiho? I already know what's wrong with Amarante. Amarante? Where did she go?" Yzak asked looking left and right. She was there when he intervened. She probably ran to her room or someone else helped her.

"I'm not sure sir," Shiho replied trying to stand as straight as possible but it was so painful. Yzak grimaced not enjoying the sight he was seeing.

"I'll take you to the infirmary. I know Amarante probably went to your room," Yzak said in his out of character gentle voice. The voice only reserved for his mother and a few other female family members. Shiho shuttered at the sound of his voice, it was so unlike him to speak to her like that.

"I'll be alright sir," Shiho replied, yet she was surprised to feel her body being swept off her feet. She let out a slight squeak before covering her mouth. Yzak only had to escort her there…she was very capable of walking.

"If you were, you wouldn't look so dazed," Yzak replied. Shiho blushed gently as they floated through the halls.

"Yzak," Shiho mumbled in the door way of her shared room. She had just gotten out of the infirmary.

"What?" Amarante replied, she sat up from her bed seeing a beet red Shiho in her doorway. Amarante groaned slightly placing a hand on her forehead.

"I like him," Shiho mumbled entering the room. She was so infatuated with him, even thinking about him made her blush. Shiho was just really good at hiding it. Amarante chuckled rolling on to her side.

"Yzak? Yeah he's pretty nice when you get to know him," Amarante replied not understanding what she was saying. Amarante was tired and her eyes were beginning to close slightly.

"NOO! I mean I love him," Shiho snapped. Amarante groaned holding on to her head as she sat up. She still had a headache but it was steadily getting better. She was very shocked at what Shiho said but she didn't know what to do.

"You love…Yzak?…I can see that," Amarante pondered. "I want coffee." Shiho looked at her oddly before sitting down on her own bed. She shooed Pompom away who gave a slight growl before going to her owner.

"Coffee? What does coffee have to do with my love life?" Shiho asked suspiciously. Amarante scratched her head before smiling slightly thinking of the thick aroma of coffee. It swirled in her senses as she remembered the process to make it. Noticing that Shiho wasn't using her pillow, Pompom crept back on to her bed and on to her pillow. Looking at the girl, Pompom yawned before laying her head down and going into sleep mode.

"Nothing. I just really want coffee right now, and I'm going to be the one to make it," Amarante said enthusiastically. She loved the smell and the warm feeling she was receiving from this memory. A distinct cup came into her mind as she continued to think about the dark substance. It was a greenish gray with a black and yellow tiger head growling. She wasn't very sure why she remembered such a trinket that had nothing to do with her life.

"You never drink coffee. You always scrunch your face when you have it," Shiho replied with a chuckle shooing Pompom off her pillow. Pompom whined jumping off the pillow, looking up at Shiho with sad eyes. It gave a slight bark as Shiho sighed softly. Giving in Shiho allowed the dog to rest on her lap.

"I just really want coffee mixed with 5% Mocha Matari," Amarante began, "Or Maybe some Hawaiian Kona!" Several different blends of coffee entered her mind to the point where it was getting overwhelming. How did she know this much about coffee? Shiho was right…she never liked it in the past.

"You never knew THIS much about coffee. When did this happen?" Shiho questioned. Amarante laughed, Shiho was so funny at times. Shiho yawned tiredly leaning her back against the wall. All she wanted to do right now was sleep.

"That's a good one," Amarante giggled. Shiho just sighed, this amnesia patient could be so ditzy at times. "So you like Yzak?"

"Yes…How many times must I tell you," Shiho groaned. Her face was turning red again causing Amarante to smile. Shiho hated her playfulness at times.

"Never say no to love. It can radically change you. I still love Nicol very much and I wish I could have said something or done something before he died. So I think you should pursue him," Amarante said insightfully. Yet a name flickered through her brain. The name was Kirkwood. Who was Kirkwood? What did he look like?

"Alright…Hey Amarante are you there?" Shiho asked looking at Amarante closely. She was in one of her dazed moments and most of the time they ended with a headache or an upset Amarante.

"Huh? Oh yeah…I think I remember someone…His name is Kirkwood," Amarante replied. She yawned quietly before scratching her head.

"I think you should start writing a diary of what you remember daily. Then perhaps when you remember more you can write more about that event or person," Shiho said with a yawn. They were both so tired…it was probably best for them to go to sleep.

"Yeah. That's a good idea," Amarante began with a yawn, "Wanna hit the hay?"

"Sure thing," Shiho replied.

"Yzak," Amarante mumbled through the com system. She knocked on his door quietly. She could hear him growling and groaning inside as he went to the door. Opening it he saw none other than Amarante.

"What?" Yzak demanded. Today was his day to sleep in and Amarante woke him up. The nerve of that girl, she was a lot like Dearka at times. Yet Dearka would throw a pillow at his head. Amarante was standing at his door nervously looking left and right.

"Could you show me the battle footage of Nicol's death?" Amarante asked quietly. She couldn't sleep…and when she did fall asleep she only dreamt of Nicol.

"Amarante…you don't want to see that," Yzak sighed with frustration. Amarante shook her head. She did want to see it. She needed some type of closure in this quiet night. When she couldn't sleep at the hospital she would call Nicol and he would chat with her until she could fall asleep.

"No…I want to see it, I want to see Nicol's final moments in life," Amarante said softly. She looked down at their feet as she stood there slightly ashamed.

"Amarante, you don't want to see it," Yzak snapped. It was graphic and horrible to watch, especially for someone who loved Nicol so dearly.

"No Yzak. Please…I want to see the footage. I want to see Nicol one last time," Amarante said tears coming to her eyes. She wanted to see it, she wanted to see Nicol's demise because this would be the last time she ever saw him, alive at least. Yzak watched her for about five minutes wondering if she was going to leave.

"You're not going to leave are you?" Yzak groaned with a frustrated sigh.

"No," Amarante replied.

"Come on in," Yzak groaned. Amarante followed him inside making herself comfortable on his bed. He didn't even know why he still had that film. In the past he watched it repeatedly trying to figure out the glitch or the problem with it, because he couldn't believe that Nicol was dead. He sat at his desk turning on the computer.

"I know I woke you up early…and I'm really sorry about that but I just have to know," Amarante reasoned as he found Nicol's last battle. He signaled her to the computer allowing the girl to sit down in his seat. Amarante watched the moving picture on screen with no tears. She saw Nicol's mobile suit, the Blitz, coming in to view as it deactivated its mirage colloid. Just at that moment the Strike turned its attention to the oncoming mobile suit. There was a bright flash as the Strike's weapon bisected the Blitz. There was a slight pause before the Blitz finally exploded into several pieces. At the computer Amarante stayed quiet as the clip stopped, she sat in silence feeling some kind of closure but then a great amount of sadness, confusion, and regret. She didn't feel angry because she knew she wouldn't be happy if she destroyed the Strike.

"Amarante? Are you alright?" Yzak asked kindly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you," Amarante replied turning around to see him. She had tears in her eyes once again as she got up to leave.

"I'm sorry that we…" Yzak began before being cut off.

"It's alright…I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault. I'm just glad Nicol died doing something noble," Amarante replied.

"Do you want me to take you back to your room?" Yzak asked kindly.

"No, I'll be alright," Amarante muttered quietly.

"I'm going to take you," Yzak asserted grabbing her arm and pulling her to the door.

"Why?" Amarante asked innocently.

"Because I need to make sure you get back safely. At least for Nicol…let me take you," Yzak replied loosening his grip.

"You really are a kind person at heart…aren't you Yzak?" Amarante asked as she opened the door.

Feeling threatened by the outside world he stiffened before letting out his usual demanding tone, "NO. I'm just doing this so Nicol won't be offended!" Amarante smiled slightly with a nod . She could "understand" that. Yzak lead her out of the room and down the hall. There were a few soldiers wandering about like normal but other than that there was nothing important going on at the moment. As promised he took her to her room and with that he left.

"Hey Shiho," Amarante chimed as she entered the room. There was no reply since she was still asleep. Amarante took off her clothes getting back into her bed so she could have some time to sleep as well. Closing her eyes she heard Shiho turn to her side before Amarante finally fell asleep.