Lost Memories/Amnesia Girl Chapter 36

"Where's Ms. Aisha?" Amarante asked in a quiet voice. She was always hanging out in Waltfeld's office. He let out a very large sigh before relaxing in his chair. It was so sad and desperate to see Amarante searching around the ship calling out her name. He allowed silence to take over the room as he formed how he was going to tell her in his mind. He didn't want to say it to her harshly but he didn't want to say it in a way that she wouldn't understand.

"You were unconscious and in your amnesiac state so of course you don't know," Waltfeld said with another sigh. This was the first time Amarante had seen her father this heartbroken. She cocked her head, but somehow this didn't sound right. Did Aisha not want to follow the Eternal? Did they break up? Amarante had to know…yet she feared his answer. She didn't want to think of the inevitable.

"What don't I know?" Amarante asked. Her hands began to quiver as Waltfeld looked at her with his one good eye. The red and pink haired daughter began to hyperventilate slightly as another long silence engulfed them. Her heart was beating in her head as her brain began to come up with several other horrid what-ifs.

"Aisha died protecting me," Waltfeld replied. Amarante immediately put her head down becoming very sad. Aisha was like her second Mom and no one would be able to replace her. Her hands continued to shake as she gripped the skirt that Aisha had to put together with love and care. For once Amarante's mind swelled with hatred against Kira. What more could he take from her? He took her memories, he took Nicol, even though they didn't get along much, he took Maylam and now Aisha? She wanted to beat his face in to a blood pulp yet her thoughts quickly changed. She would be no better than her father…and what real reason did she have to kill Kira? He did take Nicol from her…but how many lives had she taken from other families, friends and significant others.

"Oh," Amarante murmured. She withheld the tears that were forming in her eyes. Quickly she batted her eyes trying to get rid of them. She didn't want to cry anymore. All she did was cry, she cried for her mother, she cried for Nicol, she cried when she was being picked on, she cried for Maylam, she cried when she couldn't remember, and she was crying now for Aisha.

"How come you left Amalfi?…What's his first name…Nicol!" Waltfeld asked. This time it was Amarante who let out the big sigh. Her whole body was shaking now. She thought of the footage that Yzak had shown her. The Strike's Schwert Gewehr anti-ship sword wedged into Nicol's cockpit. The pain…of the impalement and of being alone in the cockpit, that Nicol must have felt. Waltfeld was alarmed by her exterior as the twinkling little droplets that began to surround her.

"He died protecting Athrun. What happened to Kirkwood?" Amarante replied in a low soft voice. It was shaking as much as her body. Amarante tried to keep herself steady but it was so much harder…her knuckles were turning white from gripping the skirt from her sweet second mother. She didn't want to think of Nicol's death anymore…she was surprised that she asked about Kirkwood. She wasn't thinking about him in the front part of her mind. Why did she ask about him?

"Oh I'm so sorry Cubby," Waltfeld began, "Kirkwood…We kept in touch after Banadiya. He's one of our secret agents, so he's still floating around in Z.A.F.T. somewhere." He really wanted to meet the kid too. His first meeting with him was so short and he didn't really get a REAL glimpse into Nicol's life by it. Sure there was the information that DaCosta had told him but it wasn't sufficient. Nicol seemed so kind and gentle…Amarante needed a person like that. Maybe this was the guy that Aisha always imagined Amarante with…yet he would never know.

"Okay…I'm not very sure if I still love him. I loved Nicol so much and no one can replace him. Right now I'm having very mixed feelings about my love for Kirkwood," Amarante sighed. He could tell that even though Amarante had her memories back…she was still, just as confused and in some points…such as love…she was even MORE confused. What could she do? Kirkwood abandoned her on Earth, and she didn't know that it wrong to be with Nicol since Kirkwood wasn't there. Kirkwood didn't even try to get to know her again…nor did he try to repair their relationship. He just saw Nicol and Amarante together…and decided their relationship was for the best.

"Do as your heart tells you," Waltfeld replied. He didn't have an answer for her this time. She would have to come up with her own answer. He wished he could tell her to remain true to either Nicol or Kirkwood, but he didn't know who she should choose. Andy had been with Aisha for years…he wouldn't be able to love anyone else for a long period of time. He was still in shock over her death. She was his angel in life and in death. Amarante's tears had ceased as she began to think about the war right outside the walls of the ship. She had to be strong…at least till the end of the war.

"Alright. Commander, what exactly are we doing? We're just three ships and I'm not very sure why my heart and mind told me to come here," Amarante asked. It was kind of strange to think that three ships would be able to make such a significant difference. Amarante wasn't very sure if they even could make a difference. They did have some of the strongest mobile suits in Z.A.F.T. OR the alliance but they were only three ships.

"Well as of right now the Archangel is with us because the Earth Alliance is corrupt and filled with people in Blue Cosmos. The Kusanagi is from Orb and they're a neutral nation not taking sides. The Eternal is with the Three Ship Alliance because Z.A.F.T. is also corrupt. Do you understand my little lady?" Waltfeld replied.

"I think I do. My heart tells me what I'm doing is right so I'm going to stay. Besides Commander I enjoy being here. All my friends are here. Except my good friend Shiho. I met her on the Vesalius," Amarante sighed before a growing expression of curiosity graced her face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Waltfeld asked seeing the girl looking over at him with a cocked head. She just stared trying to figure out something. He knew that Amarante liked trying to figure things out on her own before asking for help.

"What does D.T.C. mean?" Amarante asked. Waltfeld laughed and laughed as Amarante raised an eye brow. Why was he laughing? Those three letters were scribbled all over her flight suit and mobile suit. "What's so funny?" She looked at him like a small child pouting over losing a toy.

Through his laugh Waltfeld was able to say, "It means Desert Tiger Cub." Amarante's eye widened slightly feeling like an idiot. She knew that she wouldn't know without her memories…but with them back, how did she not think of that.

"Are you serious?" Amarante asked in a dumbfound voice. That caused Waltfeld to laugh even louder. It was so obvious, but Amarante thought he would write Cubby or something else on it. But DTC something so anonymous that so many people told her not to wear it if she didn't know what it meant.

"Yeah I'm serious," Waltfeld chuckled. Amarante wanted to hit him over the head for decorating her uniform with DTC. Yet, the thoughts of her real father and Amaranta flooded into her mind. She had a very strange burning in her heart, as if she knew something bad was going to happen. Amarante almost knew…that her sister would be in the next battle. Yet this burning felt as if someone was going to die soon and she didn't want to think about that.

"Daddy," Amarante muttered. It almost pained her to say it. She thought of her own father who she was unable to say that two syllable name to. He would always glare at her in an unloving way as if she was a stranger that rudely bumped into him. She really wanted to call him Daddy and share a similar love that she had with Commander Waltfeld.

"Yeah?" Waltfeld answered. She smiled at him lovingly knowing that at least she was loved by her father figure. When Amarante was younger all she strived for was her father's love. That's all she wanted…that's all she EVER wanted. She went out of her way to make him happy and it never worked. When her commander came into her life she tried to do everything to please him but Amarante didn't need to do so much for him.

"I think Amaranta will be in the upcoming battles. Now I need to go talk to Mu. Will there be any TSA meetings on the Archangel?" Amarante asked. She didn't want to think about Amaranta that much. She wanted to speak with Mu. She wanted to know if he sensed her presence as she did with Commander Le Creuset.

"No, but I can arrange a meeting between you two," Waltfeld told her. Mu was like her second father and the last really loving family member she had. From what he had gathered, most of her Mother's family moved back to France and were never heard from again.

"Thanks Dad," Amarante said with a smile. He still loved to tease that girl. He missed the way she would become so frustrated. She raised an eyebrow looking at him skeptically sauntering closer to the desk.

"You're welcome Cubby," Waltfeld said before beckoning her around his desk. She followed his order as he stood up. He felt old and tired, since the wounds that were inflicted by Kira were still slightly straining him. Losing suspicion Amarante smiled very willingly to do what he wanted.

"Yeah Daddy?" Amarante chimed. Her face was happy but it looked less innocent than before her accident. She had seen several things which had made her more of a woman than an innocent girl. He just smiled before messing up her hair. Amarante growled with frustration trying to get away from him. His hand just tightened on her head not allowing her to escape, she hated when he did that.

"Hey you can't get away yet!" Waltfeld chuckled as she escaped from his grip. He reached for her head again but this time Amarante backed away from the desk. Floating in the air Amarante crossed her arms and he gave him a suspicious glare. He continued his chuckle looking at the petite suspicious girl.

"You messed up my hair!" Amarante whined. She hated when he did that. Everyone made jokes about her when they saw her hair in such a way. She wanted a mirror and a comb so badly so she could fix her hair right then and there.

"Oh please…you'll be able to fix it later," Waltfeld replied rolling his eyes. Girls and their hair, he could barely understand why women cared so much, if one strand was out of place than it was a big problem. Amarante tried to smooth it down but she could feel it stick back up in a matter of seconds. She sighed softly before thinking about what she had to do next.

"See you later sir," Amarante said with a slight grumble and a smile. She opened the door before pushing herself out. Waltfeld waved good bye to the girl watching the door shut behind her. With a slight huff the commander sat back down in his chair. He chuckled remembering the gentleness of the girl.

"HARO! HARO!" Amarante heard something as a speeding pink object came zipping towards her. Amarante caught it before it hit her face. She was stunned momentarily before looking over the small round pink ball. It flapped its ears quietly making several different beeps.

"Haro?" Amarante asked. It honed in on the sound of her voice seemingly being able to understand her. Amarante cocked her head as it bounced out of her hand. She couldn't understand what was going on. She only though that Pompom was that rambunctious.

"HARO! I AM FINE AND SO ARE YOU!" the round pink ball called out. It looked like something that Athrun would create causing Amarante to smile softly. Athrun really didn't like people to be lonely. One of these days Amarante had to make something for him so Athrun wouldn't be so lonely.

"Mr. Pink! Oh Mr. Pink!" a sweet voice called out. It was Ms. Lacus she was the most popular songstress in the PLANTs. She came around the corner and gasped at the visibly stunned girl. Amarante was shocked to meet the girl in person. She had always seen her splayed on TV screens or heard her voice on radio stations. Amarante was so shocked and in awe. She could feel herself tremble slightly.

"I think this is Mr. Pink," Amarante muttered catching the ball and holding it out to the girl. The pink princess nodded reaching out for the ball. Amarante just watched the girl who had so much grace and beauty. Amarante was so envious

"Oh my! I'm so sorry," Lacus told her taking back her pink ball. She continued to give Amarante a smile before giving a quiet "excuse me" and turning around. Amarante cocked her head wondering what Lacus could be doing. Remembering how she looked like several months ago Amarante felt jealous of Lacus's beauty. No matter where she was Lacus was always radiant and beautiful.

"It's alright. Hello Ms. Lacus," Amarante answered. Lacus scolded it quietly before turning back to Amarante. She continued to smile at the girl who was about a year younger than her. She was shocked to see that this was the young girl that had been in Athrun's and Kira's mind. She seemed to be very sweet and kind but a little frightened.

"Hello Ms. Takahashi. Athrun and Kira have told me a lot about you," Lacus responded. Amarante was shocked to hear such a thing. She tried not to show her surprise but Lacus only smiled at the embarrassed girl.

"Really?" Amarante asked cocking her head. Why would Athrun and Kira want to talk about her? She wasn't really THAT interesting. Yet Kira did affect her in the worst way and Athrun promised to watch over her for Nicol. Since Athrun and Kira now knew that they both knew Amarante or at least met her, they had something to talk about.

"Yes," Lacus began, "You seem to be very kind. I'm glad that you have joined our team." Amarante couldn't believe that she was talking with Lacus Clyne. She was so tense and Lacus could see that. She could partially understand why Amarante would be so tense. She had just bumped into her randomly.

"Thank you Ms. Lacus," Amarante replied. "If you'll excuse me." She gave her a salute before turning away from the girl. She felt like an idiot doing that but Amarante was in such a military mind set. She wanted to be a good soldier for everyone since she had a lot of downtime.

"Alright. It was very nice to meet you Ms. Takahashi," Lacus replied. Amarante left her heading to her new room. She saw that Pompom was waiting for her like she did every day. The dog had its ears drooped looking depressed and sad. Amarante was always leaving her for long periods of time, but once the war was over Amarante would have more time with the puppy.

"Hi Pompom!" Amarante cooed. The dog's eyes lit up before rushing to Amarante. It had learned that if she jumped into the air she would be able to receive a hug from Amarante. Pompom barked as Amarante gave her a loving hug. She went into her room surprised to see Kirkwood in it.

"Amarante," Kirkwood said almost in disbelief. So many people had told him that she was onboard. They stared at each other wondering what had happened to each other. Amarante was in such disbelief.

"Kirkwood?" Amarante gasped as Kirkwood stood up and approached her. They continued to stare at each other before Kirkwood made the first move.

"Pinch me, I MUST be dreaming! How did you get here?" Kirkwood said before encasing her in his arms. Amarante hugged him in return before giving him a pinch. Kirkwood chuckled slightly seeing that Amarante was more like Commander Waltfeld than the last time he saw her.

"I see you're not a pilot. What are you doing now?" Amarante asked looking over his uniform quickly. Amarante was so confused what he was doing onboard the ship. Commander Waltfeld told her that he was still floating around Z.A.F.T. somewhere, but how could that somewhere be here?

"I'm just your average secret agent. Commander Waltfeld didn't want me to get captured so I've been here but lying low on board the ship," Kirkwood replied. Amarante couldn't help but to smile but then it dawned on her. HE left her. He didn't even try to contact her seriously when she had amnesia, and she had to know something.

"Wow!" Amarante began before her voice quickly changed, "Do you still love me?" She had to know…She wasn't very sure if she even loved him. Kirkwood sighed before scratching his head. He loved Amarante when they were together but seeing her with Nicol he knew that Nicol was the one for her. He knew that he was leaving her in good hands and dumping her was the best option he could think of at that moment. During their time away he had even found a new girlfriend, but that didn't stop him from thinking about Amarante. Yet, he couldn't just break up with his new girlfriend for his old love, that wouldn't be fair to her.

"I don't want to sound cruel and mean but I don't love you in that way anymore. Did Nicol dump you?" Kirkwood asked. He had to know, but the way he asked it sounded like he was rubbing it in her face. Amarante just smiled weakly trembling softly. She felt the tears brim at her eyes again. Kirkwood was surprised to see that Amarante was trembling so much. Nodding her head Amarante didn't want Kirkwood to see her crying.

"No…He…He died," Amarante said weakly. She had promised herself not to cry about it anymore yet the tears came pouring out of her eyes. She scrunched up the skirt that Aisha gave her again trying to stop herself from crying.

"Don't cry," Kirkwood told her, "Please don't cry!" He didn't want this meeting to go like this. He wanted to laugh and cry with joy to see Amarante again. He didn't want to see her crying over Nicol. Yet it pained him to see that she did have a relationship with that green hair kid. Amarante was so much in love with Kirkwood as well but she when she had amnesia what was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to tell her that she was in love with him and that they were meant to be together?

"I miss him so much. I didn't have a chance to tell him…NOR did I get to go to his... I really miss him," Amarante replied. She was so hysterical that she couldn't even finish any of her sentences. Awkwardly Kirkwood rubbed her back, he didn't feel the same about Amarante anymore. He didn't know how he should act around Amarante.

"I know he was a wonderful guy. I'm so sorry Amarante. I…I really don't know what to say Amarante," Kirkwood replied. She continued to cry as Kirkwood put his arms around her trying to make her feel more comforted. Commander Waltfeld had told him to wait in this room until something surprising happened. This happened to be the special surprise.

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry," Amarante wept putting her face in her hands. Amarante couldn't stop herself from crying anymore.

"It's alright to cry. You'll be alright Amarante," Kirkwood whispered to her. She tried to stop crying but the tears kept coming.

"I'm sorry," Amarante muttered. Kirkwood picked up a picture of Nicol and Amarante. They were sitting together with Amarante giving Nicol a shy hug. Nicol on the other hand was blushing heavily. Kirkwood was slightly envious of how happy they looked together. He had never seen Amarante so happy in her life. He wanted to be with Amarante, he wanted to ease her pain but Nicol did such a better job at it than he did.

"I feel really bad for leaving you like this but I have to go," Kirkwood told her in a cold voice. He had a shift to get to and he didn't want to be late.

"Its fine," Amarante answered. He left the room knowingly taking Amarante's picture. He was shocked to feel the jealously radiating from his body. He then went down the hall leaving her to fend for herself. Amarante laid down on her bed thinking about her late friends. She would really miss them, all of them, even Maylam.

I finally have drawn a picture of Amarante! It's a bit of a light sketch but I'm going to color her in soon.

I also have a character from the sequel to Amnesia Girl which will be called Starlit Battlefield. Her name is Commander Odette Swan. I hope you enjoy your day. The first link is Amarante than the second is Commander Odette Swan (wearing civilian clothes).

Amarante

saxyflute-flautist[dot]deviantart[dot]com[slash]#[slash]d3b5x7o

Commander Swan

saxyflute-flautist[dot]deviantart[dot]com[slash]#[slash]d3b5xzs

AND if you're lazy...You can go to my profile and it will be under Deviant Art Projects

~CuteAiboAibo