Lost Memories/ Amnesia Girl Chapter 37

"Mu, do you ever feel this strange connection?" Amarante asked quietly. She was finally able to get her meeting with her cousin. Amarante was sitting on a stool next to her older cousin. It was nice and squishy the only problem was that it did not support her back. Yet she was happy to see the first person who was truly nice to her. Amarante thought about the better times of her life where she was in his company. She yawned tiredly before going through her long hair. This was the last day that he would be in the infirmary and Amarante was cheerful and

"You mean like a romantic connection?" Mu asked curiously. He gave her a playful smile. Whenever Amarante tried to be serious, Mu was playful and happy. She wished he'd be more serious at times but she couldn't change something like that. Listening to the humming of the lights above them Amarante placed her hands on her cheeks.

Amarante blushed fiercely, "NOOO! It's like this weird feeling…like I'm connecting with someone. When I was onboard the Vesalius I had this strange feeling with Rau le Creuset." Her blush toned down towards the end of her little speech and her smile quickly turned into a frown when she looked into Mu's surprised face. I should have known! Amarante and I are from the same family…why didn't this click before? Mu thought sitting up from his bed. Amarante gasped slightly ushering him to lie back down but Mu couldn't hear her words as anger swelled inside him. Amarante was a gullible person at times and too trusting.

"You didn't believe anything that man said!" Mu said placing his hands on her shoulders. Amarante felt a shock run down her spine as if the anger had momentarily left his body and jumped into hers. Amarante squirmed in his hold trying to get away. She didn't like it when he was angry, and why was he so angered? Did she do something wrong.

"Wha?" Amarante managed to say out of her fear. Amarante looked into his face seeing that it was knotted with anger. She could feel his nails going into her shoulders. She wanted to let out a cry of pain but he would have scolded her if she did. Amarante tried to relax but it was very hard for her seeing Mu's furious face.

"Did ya? Don't believe a word that psycho says!" Mu said in a very serious tone, too serious for her normal light-hearted and kind cousin Mu. He shook her violently trying to force the information out of her.

"Well…Sorta," Amarante mumbled. She was very disheartened at seeing him acting this way. She was hoping that this would be a very happy and cheerful meeting but it was quickly turning sour. Why did it matter…everything that man said made some type of sense.

"What the hell did he tell you?" Mu demanded. Amarante shuttered at the voice trying to focus on what he was saying rather than her mind telling her to run and never come back. She cleared her dry throat looking into her cousin's presently cold eyes. She shuttered again squirming to get out of Mu's grip. Yet for an injured man Mu's grip was tight and unwavering.

"He told me that I was some type of experimental coordinator…It still doesn't make any sense to me," Amarante said weakly. What Rau le Creuset told Amarante about her mother made sense but being some type of experimental coordinator didn't make any sense. How could that be? Amarante was an average coordinator, and what about Kira? What does all this mean? Experimental Coordinators? Does this mean what he told Kira is…No that couldn't be possible, Mu thought before looking at the young lady's face. He could tell that she didn't want to talk about this but he had to.

"Come on Mare! Details! Details! What exactly did he tell you?" Mu demanded. She shook out of fear looking into his cold blue eyes again. She shook her head quickly continuing to squirm. Mu winced feeling pain radiate from his side due to Amarante's thrashing. He wanted to holler at her to keep still but then she might begin to cry and he would get nowhere with that. She was as white as a ghost but Mu couldn't see past that. All he wanted was for Amarante to tell him everything she knew about Rau le Creuset.

"You're scaring me," Amarante said in a very quiet tone. Mu's tense arms relaxed. He had finally realized that scaring her into revealing information wasn't working. Looking into her weak eyes he could see that tears had developed. He didn't want to hurt her anymore, gently Mu rubbed her arm trying to make her smile.

"I know…I know…and I'm sorry. I just have to know. Amarante, that mad man told Kira and myself some things. I have to know what he told you," Mu said gently to her. He released the girl allowing her to finally relax. She told him exactly what he had told her. After her story Mu struck the wall next to him. It clanged loudly causing Amarante to jump. She wasn't very sure what to do anymore. What could he have told them?

"What?" Amarante asked quietly. She looked at him through dry eyes. The buzzing of the lights was becoming more and more obnoxious, as they were engulfed in silence. Mu gripped the blanket that encased him, he could remember Amarante saying that her mother was murdered but could everything Rau said be true. It would explain a lot of things if it was true. Yet, Mu could just barely remember the woman that Amarante was born to. She was on the young side when she had the girls. He could remember being at the nursery shower a few years before he left for college. He could remember sitting in a chair being bored to death, since he was the only person that didn't really know anyone at this get together. Then the mother to be approached him and spent about thirty minutes talking with him. He was very touched at the gesture and he

"That damn man. Who the hell he thinks he is," Mu replied. Amarante then began to perk up and smile sweetly. Why did she have to believe what that guy said? She had her cousin and her father to come and protect her. Returning to a happier state of mind Amarante straightened her back

"So the story is fake?" Amarante asked enthusiastically. She really hoped it was, she didn't want to believe what that man said. Then again, her mother was murdered by her father and he knew about that, which terrified her.

Mu sighed, "I don't know. I would love to tell you it's not but…what he told me…

Flashback

"I'm surprised you don't remember. We've met once before Mu, long long ago before we ever met on the battlefield," Rau le Creuset mentioned.

"We did what?" Mu demanded, looking at the man out of the corner of his eye. What could this psycho saying. How could they have met anywhere else? Mu would have surely remembered this mad man.

Rau let out a triumphant maniacal laugh, "I am he. That arrogant fool, who thought he could forge death itself with his money. Al da Flaga, your father but I'm merely that man's defective clone."

"WHAT?" Mu gasped, looking back around the corner again. He couldn't help but stare. "My Dad's clone? Do you expect anyone is going to believe that fairytale?" Mu growled. He was tired of this mind game and his wounds were beginning to affect him. His breathing was beginning to become more and more labored.

"I don't want to believe it either, BUT UNFORTUNATELY!...IT'S TRUE!" Rau replied.

End Flashback

"So…it is true…isn't it," Amarante said quietly. Mu, still in his sitting position, placing his hands on her shoulders, he gave her a very gentle kiss on the cheek. She was numb to his touch as she continued to replay the events that Le Creuset told her.

"Don't get your hopes down. I'm not very sure. This is all confusing to me as well," Mu replied. Patting her cheek he got her out of her endless trance. She gave him a small smile before looking down at her hands.

"So what's this feeling? I also experienced it when I was fighting against you guys in the desert," Amarante replied. She tried to shift her focus away from that man but he kept fluttering into her mind. She couldn't get him out of her head. He seemed to be taunting her, as if he had a ghostly presence that was haunting her.

"Oh yeah…That was me…I'm not very sure what it is. Yet I can sense you and that man. I bet your sister is the same. If…what he says is true…" Mu pondered. He saw Amarante shiver which made him frown. He brushed her hair softly trying to make her smile. He didn't allow her to see his frown when it seemed like his petting did nothing to sooth her. Straightening her back as if she had remembered something Amarante turned to her older cousin.

"Who is the lady you always talk to?" Amarante asked. She gave him a lopsided smile trying to return to her normal happy and cheerful self. Mu smiled in a lover's daze thinking about the woman he had fallen in love with. He still noticed that even though that Amarante was growing up she was still very young and naïve at heart.

"Lady? You mean Murrue?" Mu asked. Amarante shrugged, she didn't know her name. All she knew was that she was a lady captain. DaCosta had told Amarante that this lady captain was the same captain that they fought against in the desert, which was shocking to her. Amarante had rarely encountered any female commanders in Z.A.F.T. and she was STILL amazed that the captain of the dreaded legged ship was a female. Before meeting with Mu Amarante met up with Dearka briefly who had pointed out the lady and her love affair with Mu.

"Brown hair and brown eyes," Amarante began, "no…more like Auburn eyes." She twirled a lock of hair in her hand trying to really remember what the woman looked like. She could remember the vivid red lipstick she wore on her lips, and the docile smile. Yet Amarante could see that this woman probably became easily stressed. Her eyes seemed tired and who could blame her? This war had thrown them into difficult corner and Amarante complicated a lot of things.

"Yeah, that's Murrue," Mu replied. "Do you want to meet her?" If he was considering spending the rest of his life with Murrue, then it was probably for the best to introduce her to his favorite little cousin. Amarante smiled nodding her head. She absolutely wanted to meet the woman who had Mu tied around her finger. The last time Amarante saw Mu didn't have a girlfriend because he was always moving about.

"Sure, but are you sure that you can get up and wander around?" Amarante asked worriedly. She heard about the extent of his injuries and he was in pain the other day when he was summoned to help wake her up. Yet part of that was her fault because she went into that unfortunate trance. She didn't want him to walk around and hurt himself again but she knew he wouldn't listen to her. He wanted to appear strong for everyone and Amarante hated that he would do something like that.

"Does it matter? She'll probably be here soon," Mu replied giving his young cousin a wink. It was odd seeing her in a Z.A.F.T. uniform. Although Mu was very proud to see that she was a top of the line soldier. Yet he always imagined her as a peaceful protester of war, not one who would be the front lines fighting. Since she was already at the Desert Tiger's base, why would she join Z.A.F.T. to be a pilot? He hoped that that he wasn't THAT big of an influence.

"So how did you get all of your stuff?" Mu asked. He was amazed to see that she had her uniform and all her other personal items. Amarante hesitantly chuckled scratching the back of her head. She didn't really want Mu to ask about that. She was hoping that he wasn't going to ask about that, she was hoping that NO ONE would ask about that.

"Oh…Well ahhhh, I used it in my escape. I thought that the hangar would be too busy to actually notice me. I then noticed someone was working on my mobile suit. I used the duffle bag as a distraction before kicking the mechanic away from my mobile suit. After that a friend of mine picked it up and chased after me. Inside the colony we had a fight…but then…I stopped and told her to shoot if she really wanted to kill me. After that I really don't know why this happened but we both came out and spoke to each other. There she presented me with the duffle bag. I was really shocked that she was going to allow me escape. She was a very good and loyal friend. I'm not very sure if I did the right thing but I have to believe that it was the right decision. No, it was the right decision," Amarante replied.

"So you still have an allegiance to Z.A.F.T.?" Mu asked curiously but his voice was very serious. Amarante looked down in thought, did she really still align herself with Z.A.F.T. or was she just confused? Maybe she just needed to sit down and really think about her options, but then again she had been gone for a couple of days. If she went back to Z.A.F.T. then she would probably executed right on the spot.

"No…To the friends that I left behind," Amarante replied confidently. She was sure what she was doing was right. They had to stop both sides from annihilating each other. These three ships had to because she knew the whole world was tired of fighting. Each side had lost so many good men and women, and several civilians. Amarante was interrupted by her thoughts as she heard the infirmary door swish open and the brunette haired woman named Murrue came in. She seemed happy but tired and stressed. Mu was a bit of a stress reliever, he always seemed to be able to relieve anyone of their uncertain fears.

"Ah Murrue, finally you get to meet Amarante. She's a little firecracker," Mu joked. Amarante stood up quickly before giving a glare at Mu. She was in the presence of the captain that was able to defeat her commander. She was also her superior. Looking at the young lady in the red uniform, Murrue was surprised to see how tall she was. In all the pictures that Mu had shown her, Amarante seemed like she was a bit on the short side.

"So this is the young lady that I've heard so much about," Murrue said quietly. At the same time Amarante directed a comment towards Mu in a harsh manner. She wasn't a firecracker at all; she was probably less than HALF of that. Amarante then stiffened remembering that she was still in the presence of the ship captain. Her mind temporarily panicked as she came closer and closer. She wasn't very sure what she should do. She knew they weren't in a formal military anymore but she was still unsure if she should salute.

"It is very nice to meet you Ma'am," Amarante said with a salute. In her panic Amarante decided that it was best to be ceremonious, instead of rude. Murrue gave her a gentle smile, she did seem like she was a very kind and sweet child. Mu chuckled at the girl, knowing in the back of her mind that she was panicking. Her hand would always twitch slightly when she was scared or in a panic.

"We're not a part of a formal military anymore, but thank you for being ceremonious," Murrue said in her sweet voice. Amarante gulped with a slight nod. Even Murrue noticed that she was VERY nervous. The girl was looking at her as if she did something wrong and didn't want to be punished. Her shouldered were scrunched up towards her face, and her eyes were large and sorrowful.

"You're welcome Ma'am," Amarante replied as clearly as she could. She allowed Murrue to use the chair as Amarante stood at rest to the side of her. Mu tried to get Amarante to completely relax but she refused to listen. She would look away whenever he gave a hand signal to completely relax. Mu sighed with a chuckle watching the two girls

"She's a little cutie pie isn't she?" Mu cooed as Amarante blushed and glared at Mu. It had been over a year since she had seen him. "I told you she should have been a model." Amarante still hated how Mu would constantly tease her. Yet she was glad to have a guy like that as her cousin. He was kind, loving and gentle and the most of the time a jolly man.

"She is very beautiful. Perfect model making material," Murrue replied with a sly and cheerful smile. Amarante blushed even more feeling ganged up upon by these two older soldiers. She still couldn't believe that people would really say something like that to her. She wasn't really that pretty and her sister was the ravishing beauty that everyone adored.

"Thank you," Amarante said the blush still plastered on her face. She didn't know why people complemented her so much. There was really nothing special about her. Mu smiled at her as Amarante's stance became more relaxed as she became more and more embarrassed but her shoulders were still tensed due to her embarrassment. Mu chuckled looking at his little cousin with a bright red face.

"I'm glad that you've joined our team. Were you always a part of Le Creuset team?" Murrue asked curiously. That team didn't have too many other pilots and the few GINN pilots that were there, were most of the time killed by Kira. So who's team could she be a part? Amarante's face was still red as she let out a relaxed sigh. The tension was going away as Amarante's shoulders began to relax.

"No, I was first a part of the Waltfeld team. I was even there when you guys were. That's how I got this scar," Amarante replied pointing at the scar over her eye. She could finally get rid of that scar. Oh how she hated staring at it when she washed her face, or when she met new soldiers. They would always ask about it and why she kept it. It was a painful reminder, but it also had hope in the return of her memories.

"Really?" Murrue asked, she was shocked taking a close look at the scar on her face. Did Kira really give her that horrible blemish to wear for the rest of her life, or could it actually be removed, why did she keep it? It was odd to see Mu's little cousin as a red uniform soldier. Mu had always told her that she was a sweet, innocent, peaceful girl. She would have never have guessed that she would be a solider, especially for Z.A.F.T.

"Yes. I had a customized BuCUE. Unfortunately I don't have it anymore," Amarante replied with a slight huff. She loved that BuCUE, it was kind of like her first car. They had gone through so many battles together and she took great care to make sure that it was working efficiently. Kirkwood used to joke around with her in the hangars that she was the mother and the BuCUE was the small child that needed to be taken care of.

"I'm sorry. So how are you feeling Mu?" Murrue asked gently. She wanted to make sure that her lover was being well taken care of. Yet she felt her shoulders become tense feeling slightly insensitive for overlapping her concern with her apology to Amarante. Luckily Amarante didn't seem to notice as she was too distracted by her cousin's teasing.

"I'm feeling fine," Mu replied with a wink. The three soldiers chatted for a little while and Amarante began to really like Murrue. Slowly increasing in strength, they heard a gentle beep being admitted from Amarante's pocket causing her to perk up. She looked over at the two older soldiers with a sheepish grin. She hated the little time that she had with Mu.

"Oh darn…It's time for me to go," Amarante said softly. She was so sad that she had to go. He was the only family she had left and she needed to be with anyone who could comfort her. It was still very hard for her to get over Nicol's death and Kirkwood's rejection. With a gentle sigh Amarante turned away from the two lovers not wishing to cry in front of them.

"See ya soon kid," Mu replied becoming slightly alarmed at her change in demeanor. She really could take this anymore, Nicol was truly her one and only. If only there was some way to bring him back. He broke his promise of coming back to her. Why did he make her a promise that he couldn't keep? Why would he make her heart bleed for him? She was so unhappy without him.

"It was nice meeting you Amarante," Murrue told her sensing that Amarante was upset. Amarante just nodded as her shoulders tensed. Balling her hands into fists Amarante stiffly went out the door with her head down. Oh Amarante…what could you be thinking about right now…why didn't you tell me what was bothering you? Mu thought as Murrue reached over and stroked his arms softly. With his thoughts interrupted so quickly he jumped at the woman's gentle touch.

"Amarante," DaCosta called out. He had been searching all over for Amarante and he couldn't seem to find her until Waltfeld told her that she was visiting her cousin. He had been wanting a chance to talk with her ever since she came onboard the ship. Rushing over to her DaCosta let out a sigh relaxing his shoulders. It seemed so odd to see Amarante as a soldier underneath Commander Waltfeld's command again.

"Yeah?" Amarante asked gently. To her, there was something off about the way DaCosta was acting. He seemed too relaxed but he also seemed oddly tensed. He was looking over his shoulder constantly as if someone was following him. Yet, the way he was making the gesture suggested that he was calm. Amarante took note of this strange behavior but knew better not to say anything to him.

"Are you sure that you want to go out into battle?" DaCosta asked worriedly. Who knew that stiff, old DaCosta could become so worried. Trying to make sure she read the strange vibe correctly Amarante just stared at DaCosta. He scratched the back of his head before casually looking over his shoulder again. He must have been looking for Commander Waltfeld because he would be the only one who would annoy him in such fashion.

"You're worried aren't you?" Amarante asked cocking her head playfully. Why did Commander Waltfeld have to be such a big influence on her sometimes? DaCosta's eye twitched slightly at her Waltfeld like tone but the fear inside his stomach prevented him on scolding her. She understood his fear, but there was no need to worry. She was stronger than she was last time he saw her in battle.

"N-No. You'll do fine. I'm just concerned about your head in all. Are you sure that you remember how to do everything right?" DaCosta asked. Amarante gave him a soothing smile placing a hand on his shoulder. She didn't want anyone to worry about her anymore. She was older now, and she could take care of herself without always needing help.

"I'll be fine," Amarante said warmly. DaCosta was shocked at how strong she had become. She didn't seem so insecure about herself anymore. Her secure smile and soft gesture really showed her maturity. She didn't flinch or seem to be uneasy. She was quiet and pretty much content. DaCosta stared at her trying to figure out what happened to the naïve young girl he used to know.

"You've really grown Amarante," DaCosta said with a warm smile. Amarante cocked her head staring at him quizzically. She wasn't sure what he really meant by that. Sure she had grown but was it really like night and day. She shrugged it off not really knowing what to say.

"I don't think so. I think I'm just like I was before," Amarante replied nonchalantly. DaCosta shivered at her mature stature and voice. How could she really be like this? If she remained in Z.A.F.T. DaCosta knew that she would have made a fine commander even though she didn't believe that she would. He didn't even dare bring up that question knowing that she may still be still insecure about taking that type of command. She saw DaCosta take a step forward as he put his arms out in a hug as if he was going to hug her.

"No, no…you've really matured. Everyone has seen it. When you first came aboard you were slightly ditzy but now since you have your memories back you have matured and grown. You're a beautiful young lady. While you were away from us…I got a chance to look up your name…Amarante…The flower that never fades…that is so true about you. Your mother picked a great name for you," DaCosta replied pulling her into a tight hug. Amarante was shocked, DaCosta would never show that much emotion normally. He placed a hand on the back of her head as if he never wanted to let go.

"Everything is alright sir," Amarante said warmly wrapping her arms around the man. She would forever love this man like a brother. He only needed to relax a little but that would take some time. She felt him make a deep sigh and somehow she knew that a few tears were falling from his eyes. It felt weird knowing that DaCosta could be like this sometimes.

"I know. This will remain between us correct?" DaCosta asked pulling away from the young girl. She smiled again placing a hand on his shoulder again. DaCosta was slightly surprised at the comfort that Amarante was able to give; normally she was the one that needed to be comforted.

"Of course!" Amarante chimed with that ever happy face that he used to see on a daily basis. She never shed a tear during this whole encounter. She had really grown stronger, much stronger than him. She would defiantly make a fine commander someday. As long as she stayed focus and relaxed. He did believe that she wouldn't be able to be as effective as Commander Waltfeld without someone as her second commander. He could barely believe that Amarante was probably going to outshine him and maybe one of these he would be serving underneath her.

"I'll see you a little later," DaCosta told her sweetly giving her a gentle hug before walking towards the bridge. His shift was in a few minutes and he was going to be late if he didn't leave soon. She pushed him in his desired direction before swiveling in the weightless atmosphere to head back to her room. She needed a little bit of medication she a headache that she was suffering from. Soon enough she landed on the ground with a slight huff.

"See ya," Amarante chuckled looking over her shoulder at the fleeing man. She was still slightly lonely without Nicol around. She walked down the hallway trying to figure out what to do next. The halls were cold and hollow. It lacked a joy and innocence that was present when she was with Nicol. Quickly Amarante went through a to do list in her mind. She knew that there were several things she had to finish before the next battle would start. Maybe she should go to the laundry room. She should probably get her uniforms pressed. Amarante loved keeping her uniforms nice, clean and pressed. Walking down the lonely hall Amarante heard a voice from behind.

"Amarante!" Athrun called out. She turned around to see Athrun approaching her. Her hair went out with a pinwheel effect but Amarante quickly twisted her long hair over her front shoulder. Athrun looked deeply concerned as he observed the halls around them. It was almost silent besides the fact that the lights were humming. Raising an eyebrow Amarante wanted to know what Athrun could possibly want with her.

"Yes?" Amarante asked in a voice much like Athrun's former fiancée Lacus. He already had a lump in his throat. Athrun was already deeply regretting what he was about to do, yet he knew that no matter when he presented this item to her, Athrun knew that he'd receive the same reaction. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Amarante in the state she was about to be in.

"I have something for you. Nicol bought this for you…before he died," Athrun said solemnly. He took something out of his pocket; it was small and twinkled brightly in the light. Holding it out in a pinch grip Amarante gasped to see that it was a ring. Her mind went completely numb…what was Nicol going to do with this ring?

"What is this?" Amarante asked. She couldn't really believe that Athrun was still holding this little thing out to her. Her mind was too numb to really register what Nicol gave her. She felt as if Nicol was speaking to her from the grave and she couldn't believe that this was happening to her. Amarante was now curious what Nicol was trying to tell her.

"Nicol bought this ring for you," Athrun replied noticing the dazed and numb look in her eyes. Her face was pale and Athrun became even more worried that she was going to pass out on him. Her knees began to knock against each other as Athrun took a deep sigh. He wished that Nicol was here to give it to her.

Flashback

"Nicol, what are you doing?" Athrun asked. His best friend was flipping through a magazine before grabbing a pen. He watched him scribble something down on a sheet of paper before the young green haired boy finally looked up at him. Nicol gave him a smile before letting out a gentle sigh.

"Buying a ring," Nicol replied nonchalantly before returning to writing down the order. Athrun looked over at him in disbelief. Athrun knew that their love was mostly love at first sight but he couldn't believe that Nicol was really thinking about marriage right now. They were in the middle of a war and the only thing Nicol could think about right now was Amarante. Athrun knew that several soldiers did become engaged during wars and they commonly got married afterwards but Nicol was too young.

"You're kidding…right?" Athrun asked before adding, "You've only known her for what…About a month?" They were both 15 and they didn't know anything about Amarante's life besides the fact that she was a first generation coordinator that lived in Earth Forces territory. Nicol hasn't even introduced her to his parents yet. There were several things that they have to do before thinking about marriage.

Nicol laughed, "Oh Athrun…It's not an engagement ring. She really liked this little thing so I'm getting it for her." He smiled thinking of his girl. She was so much in love with him. She was one of the few things that was keeping him a good and honest person. He wrote to his mother trying to make sure that they had some familiarity with Amarante before they were introduced.

"So you're NOT trying to marry her?" Athrun asked skeptically. Nicol was very naïve and he could never be too sure what he was really thinking. Nicol almost felt a little insulted, he knew he was too young to get married, but he defiantly wanted their relationship to last to that point. He could remember his parents spiel about NOT marrying the first girl he fell in love with but Nicol could barely hear their voices of warning in the back of his mind. He was too much in love with Amarante to really think about any of the bad that could happen in their relationship.

"OF COURSE NOT! I'm only 15 years old. I think we should wait about 10 years," Nicol replied. Ten years sounded pretty good to Nicol. He didn't want to rush anything, he could purpose to her around the 8th or 9th year and he could see how she was really like before they were actually married. Nicol had heard of so many relationships turning sour after a quick dating and engagement so if he dragged it out then Nicol could really see if she was the woman for him. In ten years he'd be 25 years old and that was a good age to marry in his eyes.

"Maybe not 10 years," Athrun chuckled. Nicol was still so naïve, he could truly see Nicol waiting 10 years to get married. He could also see him convincing Amarante to wait that long. Hopefully by that time, Amarante would have her memories and Nicol could see the real Amarante. Yet Nicol really shouldn't wait THAT long. So many things could happen in 10 years, and it would be too hard to be able to resist a certain "temptation". Athrun chuckled again as Nicol raised an eyebrow slightly cocking his head in a very Amarante like fashion.

"True," Nicol replied smiling at his friend. "Then 9 years." Athrun laughed, he was surprised to hear Nicol joke about marriage in that way. Nicol normally defended marriage in his beliefs about it. Dearka and Yzak would commonly tease him about it, much to Nicol's and at times Athrun's chagrin. Luckily, Nicol was rapidly changing; he was more willing to joke about certain topics because of Amarante's jovial personality.

End Flashback

"He really wanted to give this to you before we left but he could never bring himself to do it. I thought it would be best to give it to you," Athrun replied solemnly. Amarante's hand shook as she held onto the little Emerald ring. She didn't want to cry anymore. She had cried so much over the span of this war. Amarante could probably fill a bath tub with all the tears that she had shed. She could feel the tears beginning to form at the lids of her eyes.

"Thank you," Amarante said gently giving him a tearful smile. She turned away from Athrun slightly so he wouldn't see the tears. Amarante placed the ring on her ring finger before bringing her hands close to heart. Why…why did Nicol have to be so considerate? She couldn't take it anymore, why did war have to take away so many good people?

"Are you alright?" Athrun asked quietly. He didn't want to give her the ring to upset her. Athrun wished that Amarante gave him some flippant answer which would show him that she was truly okay. He took a step towards her seeing her shoulders shake. Athrun reached for her shoulders but just before he touched her, Athrun withdrew his hand. He was the reason why Amarante was in this condition. He could have waited until the war was over to give her this ring, but he could barely get Nicol out of his head to do something like that.

"Yes, Nicol would have been that thoughtful. I, I wish I could give him something in return," Amarante replied before breaking down in tears. She allowed herself to fall to the ground as she cried over the trinket that Nicol had given her. She held the ring closer to her heart as she continued to cry. Athrun placed a hand on her back before going to the ground with her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders as Amarante continued to cry. All he wanted to do was to make Amarante feel better.

"Amarante," Athrun said gently continuing to rub her back. He wasn't very sure what to do with her now. Athrun knew better not to leave her all by herself but then again he didn't want anyone to tell Cagalli that he was in love with Amarante. Athrun pulled her closer to him trying to calm her down but it didn't work.

"I promised Nicol that I wouldn't cry anymore," Amarante said trying to wipe the tears out of her eyes. They continued to fall causing Amarante to let out a frustrated sigh. Athrun gave her a bitter sweet smile as he stood up. He would hate it if anyone saw Amarante crying outside of her room.

"I don't think Nicol would mind," Athrun replied helping her stand up. Looking over her shoulder Athrun gave her a sweet smile. She tried to smile as well but she only cried even more. He escorted her down the halls relieved that they didn't run into anyone that they knew. Opening the door he saw that Pompom was laying on her bed in sleep mode.

"I'll be alright now, Athrun," Amarante replied looking at him with a tearful smile. Athrun frowned as he shooed the pup off of Amarante's bed. Pompom whined not enjoying the fact that she was kicked off the bed by her creator. Athrun sat Amarante on the bed before giving her a hug. He knew how she was feeling right now and he hated that he was the one to cause her to be so upset. Going through her hair Athrun gently shushed her until she was at a point where she wasn't crying anymore.

"Are you sure? I don't want Nicol to come and haunt me if you do something stupid," Athrun replied worriedly. He could truly see Amarante trying to end her life so she could be with Nicol and he defiantly didn't want to leave her if he was going to do that. Amarante was a strong girl but he had heard that she lost so many people that made a significant influence on her life. He had to support her and Cagalli through these difficult times.

"Don't worry," Amarante said with a slight sad chuckle, "I won't kill myself." She had so much to live for and she knew that Nicol would rather have her live than to die. Giving Athrun a reassuring nod, she tried to stand up but Athrun only pulled her into a hug again. He could feel his own tears come to his eyes and he wanted to make sure that Amarante didn't see them. He squeezed his eyes shut ridding them of the tears that had formed.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't have done anything," Athrun said sorrowfully pulling away from the girl. Amarante shook her head, Athrun couldn't continue to blame himself for everything. Athrun was shocked at how quickly she disagreed with him. The blue haired boy still firmly believed that it was his weaknesses that killed the boy. He should have been able to protect Nicol and convert Kira to their side.

"Nicol died doing something noble. It's not your fault Athrun," Amarante replied with a tearful smile. "I wish to be alone for a little while Athrun." Athrun sighed, part of him wanted to say no but he knew that Amarante would still be very adamant that he left and that she was okay. Standing up Athrun stretched before looking at the young soldier.

"So you'll be okay by yourself?" Athrun asked heading towards the door. His face was twisted and knotted with worry. He never really noticed how young she was until he looked at her now. Amarante was more of a child then he was and this war must have been so much harder on her than it is on him, especially since she lost her memories. She could see that a deep frown had formed on Athrun's face.

"I'll be fine," Amarante replied lying down on her bed. Athrun nodded slightly numbed to the fact that Amarante could possibly kill herself after he set one foot right outside of the door. He let out a frustrated sad sigh as he left the room. Nicol…what are you doing right now? Please send me some type of sign…Do you still love me where ever you are? When I come to join you…will you turn away in disgust if I'm old or if I fell in love with someone else? Amarante thought as she closed her eyes tears sparkling around her young face.