Lost Memories Chapter 38
"Hi Daddy," Amaranta said lovingly to her father. He was sitting behind his desk reading over a report. He looked up at her with intense hatred. Amaranta hesitated in her approach but still continued to smile. She loved her life with her father and it was only going to get better after she killed her little sister.
"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M BUSY?" he demanded. Amaranta was shocked at his tone. She stiffened slightly her eyes widening. He tossed his report dramatically on to his desk. The father smiled at seeing Amaranta's fear. His final plan was coming in to place.
"But Daddy," Amaranta said meekly. She felt so weak, why was he being so mean to her? He had NEVER EVER acted this way towards her. Why was he treating her like that traitor? Amaranta closed her eyes trying to shake the thoughts out of her mind. This wasn't happening! Yet as Amaranta opened her eyes she saw that nothing had changed.
"WHAT DID I SAY?" the father hollered getting out of his seat. He leaned over his desk getting in the young girl's face. Amaranta leaned away looking at him in a confused manner. She wasn't a traitor; she was so loyal to him and his cause. She did anything and everything that he asked her to do even if she really didn't want to.
"Why are you being so mean to me? What did I do?" Amaranta hollered back. She was not going to allow her own father to treat her like that girl. THAT girl was the one that should be yelled at. How could he treat her like that? Amaranta was a good girl, wasn't she? She let out a growl before shaking her head.
Her father laughed going around his desk, "Do you really think that I love you?" The father looked at her manically approaching the girl. She moved away unsure of what he was going to do to her. Amaranta didn't want to go back to the way he used to treat her. Please Daddy…don't do it, Amaranta thought as her heart began to beat faster and faster.
"Your my father, of course you love me," Amaranta mustered. Her father had loved her and her only from day one, or so she believed. He would never use her in such a way. How could he betray her?
"I've never cared about you," the father chuckled taking her face into his hand. She never heard him talk to her like this. "I have better and finer replacements." What did she mean replacements? She could never be replaced! SHE was his one and only daughter. He had always told her that and she didn't want to imagine what he could possibly do to her.
"But," Amaranta began quietly. She was really beginning to feel like her younger sister. What was happening? The world was spinning so quickly right now. So many questions were invading her head as her felt her knees knocking against each other.
"Get out my sight," the father snapped. Amaranta ran out of the room her tears streaming down her face. This must have been a nightmare; Amaranta had never seen her father this angry since the death of her mother. Why was this happening, and why her? Amaranta pushed past several soldiers making a beeline for her bedroom.
"Daddy," Amarante mumbled quietly. She loved her father figure dearly. Waltfeld looked up to see that she was huddled in a corner. In the span of ten minutes Amarante had gone from sitting in a chair on the side of Waltfeld's office to that little corner. The commander was so involved in his work that he didn't notice Amarante move over there. He couldn't see her face as he casually looked over at Amarante.
"What is it Cubby?" he asked calmly. He didn't want to seem panicked just in case she became even more uneasy. He didn't like that Amarante seemed so unsettled. Waltfeld feared that the return of her memories was giving her more pain than peace and satisfaction. Yet he wasn't very sure what was wrong with Amarante. He wanted to take away all of Amarante's pain so she would be at ease with herself.
"I think Amaranta is in pain," Amarante mumbled. That was a very strange thing for Amarante to say. After their little "competition" at her home, Amarante never spoke about her sister again, at least not to Waltfeld. It deeply concerned Waltfeld that she wasn't moving.
"What honey?" Waltfeld asked getting out of his chair. He went to the girl seeing that her eyes were as large as saucers. With a frown Waltfeld went down to her level looking into her face. She was shaking heavily and it almost seemed as if she was in a trance. He waved a hand in front of her face yet she didn't respond.
"She's," Amarante mumbled. Her hands were on her head as if she had a very large headache. Amarante closed her eyes briefly shaking her head no.
"What's wrong Amarante? Snap out of it," Waltfeld said placing his only hand on her shoulder. He hated the fact that he couldn't hold her anymore. Adapting to life without a hand and an eye was hard for him, especially with Amarante's return. He shook her gently and she finally snapped out of her trance. Amarante's eyes focused on his face and she seemed alright for the first couple of seconds. DaCosta entered seeing the two of them on the floor.
"Amarante?" DaCosta said in a shocked voice. Commander Waltfeld stood up giving DaCosta a slightly worried look. He almost couldn't believe that this was happening. She had a very pale complexion, and DaCosta thought she was going to pass out at any moment.
"Amaranta is in pain somewhere. I'm not very sure why I care so much about someone who doesn't care about me. But, she is my sister after all, right?" Amarante asked as DaCosta helped her to her feet. Amarante felt pressured and cornered by the two older men.
"She's family and family IS family. DaCosta, take Amarante to her room," Waltfeld ordered. She scowled widely; she wasn't an animal that could be locked up at any time to be tamed.
"Yes sir," DaCosta replied. DaCosta took her hand to guide her away but Amarante just pulled away. DaCosta looked at her face to see that it was completely calm. Waltfeld felt that she was just still very insecure so he really didn't mind her pulling away.
"Amarante I'll meet up with you later," Waltfeld replied smoothing the hairs down on her head. She slowly began to move forward and away from the two men. Amarante just continued walking towards the door without any explanation of where she was going.
"I'll be alright, I promise you sir," Amarante mumbled, the two men were shocked when she left the room on her own. She had seemed to have completely forgotten about being a soldier. DaCosta frowned something must have been really troubling her. Why wouldn't she allow anyone to help her, and why wouldn't she tell Waltfeld what was wrong?
"Do you want me to follow her?" DaCosta asked as the shock began to subside. Waltfeld just went through his hair trying to figure out what to do next. If he did send DaCosta after her he wasn't very sure what would happen if he caught up with her. If he DIDN'T send DaCosta after her…then she cause some type of mischief.
"Not right now. Let her be by herself for right now. She…She needs a little time," Waltfeld sighed. He didn't want to come to that decision but…he could feel the tension in her body from being cornered.
"Alright sir," DaCosta replied. What is this…Why am I getting these weird signals? What's going on? Amarante thought going down the hall. She stumbled down the hall completely losing her orientation. Amarante didn't really know what she was doing.
"That stupid girl…She's the reason why I'm suffering right now!" Amaranta hollered tossing her things around the room. "I have to kill her! If I kill her…HE'LL LOVE ME!" She found a picture of her sister which she laughed at manically. She ripped it up before continuing to toss her personal possessions around.
"Amaranta," a 12 year old girl said quietly. She had curly red hair and wore civilian clothes unlike Amaranta. She was quiet and she quickly dodged the book tossed carelessly at her. Amaranta glared at the young girl which terrified the girl immensely.
"SHUT UP! ANNETTE!" Amaranta hollered. "We have to kill her!" Annette's eyes grew large, why did she have to kill her? She didn't want to take part in any of this. She was a good girl and good girls don't murder.
"But Amaranta she's your sister," Annette mumbled. Amaranta grabbed the girl by the collar tossing her into the air. Annette let out a gentle cry as she began to float in space. She felt Amaranta take hold of her belt pulling her back to the bed. Annette looked into Amaranta's eyes as the angered teen pushed her against the bookcase behind the bed.
"Don't you want to be the real one? Don't you? WE have to kill her! Alexandre and Armand have to help too! Don't you get it? She's the enemy!" Amaranta hollered. Alexandre and Armand were Annette's brothers, and she was just as terrified of them as she was as Amaranta. Annette's eyes grew large and teary as she looked up at the furious girl. Annette just wanted Amaranta to take her temper tantrum away but Annette couldn't tell her that.
"Yes I get it…I'm sorry I ever questioned you," Annette mumbled. Personally, Annette didn't want to kill Amarante. She didn't even know her, but from an early age she was taught to hate the girl. She went along with the "game" but never showed her true feelings. Annette was a gentle individual and she didn't want to harm anyone who did not harm her. Yet Annette, quiet and timid, would do anything to please Amaranta and her father. She had no voice in any matter.
Her brothers were the same way; they would do anything to please Amaranta's father except they wouldn't do anything for Amaranta. They just thought she was a nuisance. Annette and her brothers, Alexandre and Armand, were trained as soldiers ever since they could remember. Armand, the eldest was the cruelest. He would kill ANYONE that got in his way, his siblings included. Alexandre was not cruel, but heavily influenced by his brother to be just as bad as he was. Alexandre would have never told Armand his true feelings about this war. Alexandre believed that it was strange to exterminate all the coordinators. He didn't really understand what this was actually about since he was only 12 years old.
"That's good. You don't want to end up like her Annette," Amaranta replied with a smirk before pulling the younger girl into a tight hug. "Don't you dare leave us Annette." Annette felt her body and mind go numb. She was wrapped around Amaranta's finger and she really didn't know what to do anymore.
"I won't," Annette replied mechanically wrapping her arms around the manipulative Amaranta.
"Amarante? Are you alright?" Athrun asked. He looked into the girl's eyes. She was shivering against a wall which caused Athrun to become concerned. Kira was with him too but he didn't want her to have a bad reaction if she saw him. She didn't respond to his questioning. Amarante was in another trance like state wrapping her arms around her tightly.
"She's...who is she?" Amarante mumbled. She kept seeing the vision of the curly haired Annette and her sister Amaranta. She then placed her hands on her head letting out a slight groan. Athrun looked back at Kira worriedly as he turned back to Amarante.
"Amarante!" Athrun muttered shaking her gently. She came back to reality but not completely. She thought Nicol was the one shaking her not Athrun. Her eyes lit up and became teary as she looked into her "lover's" eyes. She felt so relieved that he was alive and well.
"Nicol?" Amarante asked looking at Athrun. She was almost positive that she saw Nicol. She saw his light green hair and big brown eyes. His gentle hands reach up to touch her shoulders. She was only confused why he was frowning at her.
"It's Athrun, remember? What's going on Amarante?" Athrun asked. Her shady vision of Nicol turned into Athrun causing Amarante to sigh. She was almost angered that it was Athrun but she didn't show her true emotions.
"Athrun?" Amarante mumbled before shaking the thoughts away. "Sorry Athrun…I really don't know what's going on today. It's like I can see what my sister is seeing…or at least someone else." He had heard about Amarante's strange behavior but he didn't believe it until now. It was almost like Amarante was possessed by something.
"I think you need to rest," Athrun said in a concerned voice. She was just probably experiencing a little bit of trauma or stress. Yes stress, it had to be stress, Amarante had been stressed ever since receiving her memories. They were always flooding back to her, and sometimes they overcame all of her senses.
"No," Amarante began, "I'll be alright. I promise you." She stumbled away from them only to be stopped by Kira. Amarante groaned quietly trying to shake him away. She looked into his purple eyes restlessly for a brief moment before staring off into the distance.
"Athrun's right…you should be resting instead of wandering around the ship," Kira informed. For the last few days Amarante had been acting very strangely. She kept claiming that she was seeing visions of her sister. Many other soldiers had reported that they had seen Amarante staring into a wall or up at the ceiling in pain.
"Amarante there you are. The commander has been looking all over for you," DaCosta called out coming down the hall. After about twenty minutes after Amarante left his office DaCosta was sent out to find her. When he wasn't able to find her, DaCosta had asked Athrun and Kira to help him. He was relieved to see that she was with them.
"Hi…I guess," Amarante muttered. She really didn't want to talk to DaCosta at the moment either. She wished that everyone would just leave her alone, Amarante wasn't doing anything wrong. The red haired maiden was just experiencing some strange visions, and that was okay in her mind.
"Amarante you must understand that the only reason we're doing this is because we care about you," DaCosta replied trying to get her attention. She focused on DaCosta's voice before seeing a small opening between Kira and DaCosta. Amarante ignored him trying to escape the three but Athrun just held on to her.
"Amarante come on. It's alright. We want to help you," Athrun cooed into her ear. Amarante frowned not wanting to do anything with him or the others. HE made Nicol go away. Nicol was right there in front of her, and ATHRUN made him leave her. She had to get away from him and his ways.
"NO! GET OFF!" Amarante hollered as Athrun wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She cried out loudly trying to break free from Athrun's hold. HOW COME THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! Amarante thought as Athrun took hold of her hands.
"Amarante, relax," Athrun said into her hair bringing her to the floor. "I think I've got everything here. I'll take her back to her room." Even though Commander Waltfeld had told DaCosta specifically to bring Amarante back to his office, he didn't want to pull the child back kicking and screaming, besides her room was much closer than his office.
"Are you sure?" Kira asked looking at Amarante and Athrun on the floor. He was shocked to see how much Athrun looked after the girl. It was almost as if they were siblings. Amarante wished that Kira was on her side but she very well knew that Athrun was a deep influence on everyone.
"We'll be alright," Athrun said holding on to the distraught and angry Amarante. DaCosta nodded and he left with Kira. DaCosta gulped quietly loosening his collar, he knew Commander Waltfeld was not going to be happy about what was going to happen.
"Let go," Amarante growled. Athrun chuckled softly, she sounded so much like Cagalli. He ignored her tone releasing her hands knowing very well that she probably wouldn't do anything. She just sat on the floor with a childish pout.
"Let's get you to your room," Athrun cooed gently into her hair. Amarante cooperated but she really didn't want to go anywhere. He helped her to her feet and led her down a couple of hallways before opening the door to her room. He pushed her in before closing the door behind them.
"Thanks for taking me to my room," Amarante said in a stand offish tone. Athrun noticed her ruffled hair and outplace uniform. There was defiantly something strange about Amarante today. If there's one thing Amarante took care of, it was her uniform. She ALWAYS made sure that there were no wrinkles and they were always cleaned. She even did this when she had amnesia, it was one of the few things that she remembered.
"Amarante, what's wrong?" Athrun sighed crossing his arms. There was no point in beating around the bush with Amarante. She was very cunning like her "father", she could easily get anyone off topic. Amarante looked back at Athrun with a quick glare before going into fix uniform mode. She straightened her collar and cuffed her sleeves. She pulled her uniform down to the proper length before finally fixing her skirt. With her tired hands Amarante finally fixed her hair in a way where it didn't appear to be messy.
"Nothing is wrong…I just want to be left alone," Amarante replied in a very normal tone. Athrun was bewildered at her 180 degree mood change. He was almost convinced until he looked into her eyes. They were still confused and almost entranced. Walking past her Athrun sat on her bed. Athrun, why won't you just leave me alone? Amarante thought in a frustrated manner.
Athrun shook his head, "Let's talk." He sat on her bed patting the spot next to him. Amarante sighed sitting next to Athrun. They sat in silence before Amarante broke into a sob. She really didn't want to tell him what she was really upset about so she had to think of something, and think of something fast.
"I can't believe he's…Nicol," Amarante mumbled in her sobs. It was a clever little lie, and Amarante knew that if she cried about him, it would distract Athrun from the truth. She already knew that if she thought of him, she would immediately start crying.
"Oh Amarante," Athrun said softly pulling her into a hug. She sobbed loudly trying to stop her tears. She was happy that he fell for it, but she hated that it took ripping her heart to do it. She seriously wanted to stop being an emotional child. She wanted to be as strong as her sister.
"He's also in these weird visions that I keep having. Athrun…I can't get him out of my head. What can I do Athrun?" Amarante sobbed. She looked into Athrun's eyes trying to figure out what to do. She had to tell him part of the truth, when she had looked in his eyes she could tell that Athrun was beginning to become suspicious.
"Everything will be alright…I promise you," Athrun replied, holding her tightly, he looked back into her eyes which caused him to feel a weird sensation of love. It was a mix between brotherly love and romantic love. He couldn't really tell which one was influencing him more but he was beginning to feel queasy.
"Are you sure about that?" Amarante asked, she was also feeling this strange feeling from him but she didn't want to believe that Athrun was thinking about that. She was curious about what Athrun was going to do but she was becoming tired. The day had already been long and draining, AND with every trance, came a large headache.
"I promise…I'll protect you for Nicol's sake," Athrun replied pulling her face close giving her a kiss on the cheek. It was an awkward kiss and Athrun barely noticed what he was doing until Amarante pushed him away. He wasn't trying to make their relationship form into a romantic one. Athrun was only trying to cheer her up but he had only made this situation more confusing. Athrun, what the hell were you thinking? Now you've gone and confused her, Athrun thought mentally slapping him in the face.
"Athrun," Amarante muttered. She just sat there confused on what had just happened. Did Athrun really just kiss her? Why would she do something like that with Athrun? He liked Cagalli right? Why would he do something like that? Or, was there something more than that? No, she was almost sure that he was deeply in love with Cagalli.
"I can't believe I did that. I'm so sorry Nicol, Amarante. I'm gonna go," Athrun said in short snippets. He left quickly not saying that much besides Nicol was going to kill him. She stared at the door for a little while seeing if Athrun would come back and apologize to her as well. After about fifteen minutes, Amarante succumbed to her drowsiness quickly drifting off to sleep in a huddled ball on her bed. This had to have been a dream; Athrun would never do something like that…
Dream
"Amarante…I may not know you but…they'll be attacking tomorrow. Amaranta too…They'll be using everything they got. They also have the n-jammer canceller, that Nicol's father made," a voice told Amarante. Amarante looked at her surreal surroundings trying to figure out where she was and who she was talking to.
"N-jammer canceller? How do you know about Nicol?" Amarante demanded. She could barely see the figure in front of her. When the female figure came into focus she was surprised that she looked a younger version of herself. The female chuckled softly before becoming serious again.
"Listen…I don't know how long I can talk to you but you need to be prepared for this upcoming battle. Amaranta is going to kill you if you don-" the female said in a low voice before the figure suddenly disappeared. Amarante called out to the girl but it was already too late.
End Dream
"NICOL!" Amarante hollered sitting up with a jolt. She was shocked to see Ms. Lacus over her. She was slightly surprised to see Amarante wake up so quickly. Athrun had told her that she was a heavy sleeper. Nicol was Athrun's friend…Was Amarante in love with him. Athrun told me that Amarante had a lover but I didn't imagine that they'd be that close, Lacus thought.
"Are you alright?" Ms. Lacus asked. She didn't really get a chance to meet this girl, and this was at least a good time to get to know her slightly. Lacus smoothed the hairs down on Amarante's head in a test to see if she was shaking.
"Yeah…I'm alright," Amarante replied with a gentle smile. She thought about the dream she had and about Athrun. She was still a little confused why Athrun would do something like that, but he would tell her eventually.
"Athrun was wandering around looking pretty distraught and you were the last one to see him," Ms. Lacus replied. Sitting on her knees Amarante saw that her new friend was sitting on the edge of her bed. She sat with her back straight and perfect posture. Ms. Lacus was defiantly raised to be a proper lady. Amarante immediately straightened her posture and uniform as if in the presence of a princess or a high ranking officer.
"Oh everything will be alright," Amarante replied stiffly. Ms. Lacus placed her hands on top of Amarante's. She disliked how stiff Amarante was around her. Lacus believe that she wasn't anyone special and Amarante shouldn't treat her any differently than a normal person. Amarante smiled at her understanding what Ms. Lacus was trying to tell her.
"Are you sure?" Ms. Lacus asked. Pompom barked at her trying to figure out who she was and the ball that invaded her territory. Pompom sniffed the ball curiously before trying to paw at it. The dog flinched upon seeing Haro's ears pop up as if to swat away Pompom's paw. Pompom hopped to a different position before trying the same thing only to get the same result.
"HARO! HARO!" the ball interjected beginning to bounce around Pompom. This only prompted the dog to bark even louder. She was suspicious about this new friend but she enjoyed its playfulness. She stretched her body out into a playful stance before chasing after the ball.
"Quiet Pompom! Everything will be okay between us," Amarante said a soothed in at eased voice. She still considered that kiss that Athrun gave her a dream or did it really happen? In her mind she shook the thoughts away from her as she watched Pompom enjoying her time with Haro. She had never seen the puppy that enthralled with another robot.
"So is this what Athrun made for you?" Ms. Lacus asked picking up the small dog. It barked looking at Ms. Lacus with a gentle cock of the head. Amarante took hold of Haro remembering the instance where the robot almost hit her in the face. She looked at the thing and giggled. Athrun really didn't like people being lonely, yet it must have been a lonely life to always leave the ones you loved.
"Yes her name is Pompom. She's a bit of a feisty puppy," Amarante chuckled trying to distract her from what happened with Athrun. She never wanted this to happen, Athrun was her friend and she didn't want to be more than that. With the distraction Amarante and Lacus chatted about the robots and Athrun's kindness. She eventually told Lacus what happened and Lacus swore to keep it between themselves.
So Amaranta returns! I wonder what she has planned for the little Annette?