A/N: if no suggestions come then this will be the last chapter for a while to this fic, hope at least it was something good.
Warning: same as before.
VII. The Fading Star
Opening the door to the second bedchamber Nestaron quietly slipped inside the dark room and made his way up to the sleeping figure on the bed. He was pale and slightly shaking, just what he needed his mind was reacting worse to the negative feelings then by the younger brother. This was not surprising, no matter what he did, he was not a warrior, but a healer and being faced with such grief so directly had created a deep scar in him which often happened to healers working on a war front. Gently whipping away the sweet from the furrowed brows sat the Dweller down on the side of the unevenly breathing figure and placed one cool hand on his forehead closing his eyes to get inside his mind, already knowing what he would find in there.
Water droplets fell from a few of the stone pillars to the gray ground, the air was tick with the smell of orcs, mush and death. On some places laid skulls showing the fate of some of those dragged into this cave of horrors. The carved walls led down into the deep, only sparely lighted by torches, but even if they did give a little light, the whole underground place was filled with chilling cold. Deep in the heart of the underground hiding place jeered orcs in disgusting delight while standing on one side of the stone chamber while further front a beaten body laid on cold stone, her body broken, eyes staring emptily to the side, not moving. A dark haired figure stood in front of her, dark eyes starring with pained horror down at the broken body of the woman whom had hugged him gently and whispered calming words into his ear when outside a storm raged. The person telling him and his younger siblings good night stories before kissing them softly on the forehead and bidding them good night. A shaking hand went out to touch her as the abused body, not noticing the dark creatures moving in his direction, they ugly faces twisted in disgusting grins, but then halted as suddenly a hand covered his eyes, another wrapping itself around his chest pulling him against someone as that person rushed forth.
"Daro!" he heard the melodious voice say urgently, then there was a distant shattering sound as both sunk to they knees, the sweet smell of night flowers filling his senses. "Is it really your wish to let yourself be broken like this?" the stranger asked, his hand still covering his eyes so it was impossible for him to see the other.
Nestaron still felt his heart beating rapidly, if he would have only been one second later, then everything would have been to late. He couldn't believe that in this short amount of time the case reached this critical point, others needed longer to reach this level of guilt filled hatred that they wish that the thing breaking the beloved person would have happened to them anstead of that person. Unconsciously he pulled Elladan closer against him, he had once seen the result of such feelings, he was called to late to the younger sister to a rape victim who blamed herself because she asked her sister to go looking for mushrooms in her place because she wanted to go over to a friend. In her pain had she searched for the ones hurting her sister, a band of men, she received the same fate as her sister, but managed to injure three of them with a dagger she had with her, one of them deadly, she had been only twelve. At least was he now in time before it could have happened, then it first happens inside the mind and later in real life when the opportunity is given which certainly would the next time they ride out. He had also shattered the dream and they both were now surrounded by the lonely darkness created by the grief of loss.
"Why did you stop me?" Elladan asked, his voice not filled with venom as by his twin, but with desperation and pain. He didn't understand why he was stopped from letting something happen which he deserved to be done to him.
"Because this is not a path you should walk." Nestaron replied leaning closer, he could feel the others guilt and immense grief singing to him. This was another fault of the ones born from Iluvatar's tears which made them easy targets, the pain of every living being called to them, they could feel it and thus try helping no matter the danger. Sometimes felt he angry for this burden, but accepted it, this was what they were, the ones who in they last seconds of existence didn't cry for themselves, but for the lost soul of the ones whom were raising they blade to slay them.
"Aye, it is." Elladan snapped, his body shaking as he tried to hold back his tears. "This is exactly what I deserve and nothing else. It should have happened to me and not to her! She had always called me her gentle son, her star, but I'm neither." he yelled in bitter despair and Nestaron shuddered by the rawness of it, he needed to think fast of a way to calm the cold emitting from the body he was holding. He needed to think fast because out of the corner of his eyes he could see little parts of the cave rebuilding themselves.
"You know that this is not true, no one deserves that from happening to them." he whispered gently leaning closer and resting his head on the others right shoulder, some of his long ebony hair slipping forth and mixing with Elladan's.
Hair like the starless night sky on fine ebony.
Elladan was aware of the pressure on his shoulder, of the feeling of something silky tickling his cheek, the warm breath ghosting over his skin, but he didn't care. Didn't this person, fidget of his mind or not, not understand that he deserved the pain? It was all his fault that it had happened, he hadn't told anyone in fear that they would shun him, his mother was more important then him anyway. He didn't deserve any kindness for giving her to the orcs to have they cruel way with her, it should have happened to him, then all would still be well, no one of his family would be sad if it was him sailing away.
She would be still here.
"It was all my fault…" he whispered and Nestaron felt the wetness against his hand. "It is all my fault that this has happened to her, she…she had asked me to accompany her to our grandparents, but… but I told her that I… I didn't wish to go. If… if I would have been with her I could have made sure that she manages to escape. Everything would have been fine, everyone would have been happy. I… I'm useless, it took us to long to find her and… and then I wasn't even able to heal her wounds only the new ones… I had frozen down." he said sobbing, finally confessing the pain he had held inside.
Suddenly the hand withdrew and he was turned around to look into the fair face of a creature which nearly took his breath away. The stranger only smiled at him with a sad understanding as a long fingered hand gently whipped away the tears still streaming down his cheeks.
"Then the pain of your family would have been doubled, it is only the guilt making you think that you are useless, your mother was proud at both of her beloved sons coming to her rescue and taking her back home." he said with a faint smile, stopping him as he tried protesting "She had not know back then that it was you whom had saved her, her mind had shut itself down to protect her, she only found out as I showed her the memories and she wished to view them from the beginning till the end. She was proud of you, the both of you so don't doubt yourself she would feel sad if she saw that you are blaming yourself."
"But if I…" the arms were again around him, pulling him into a gentle embrace, but there was something other, a faint melody, slightly melancholic, but still calming. Closing his eyes could Elladan see the ruins of an old castle, above him a starless night sky only lighted by Ithil's silver light which played on the lake in the middle of ruins, the smell of blooming roses of different colours filled the air, he watched and a few of the soft petals gently fell on the water mirror. The melody wrapped itself around him like a type of soft blanket, smoothing his worries and fears.
"You are mistaken from your grief, can't you see that your family loves you and is worried that each time you ride out you might not return? Your mother is a brave woman with a strong will, don't shame her in losing against the darkness in your heart which was created by your hatred and guilt." Nestaron said as he allowed his music to continue flowing into the other elf, usually he never allowed anyone to hear his music only much younger patients, children and babes, but the other was not acting any better then a scared child so he used it.
"I… I can't, I can't let Roh go alone, in one week we will ride out again. I can't and will not let my twin go alone." Elladan said stubbornly, but looked up as he heard a soft chuckle from above.
"It might be that the elven knight will try approaching you tomorrow wishing to stay a bit longer at home." he said mysteriously and looked around. "Try stepping out of your grief, talk to your family about the guilt you feel, you will see they each will tell you on they own way that you have been thinking like an idiot. Everything will be alright if you give things a chance." he said gently before standing up and heading for the door. "I will be monitoring your and your brother's progress for a while till I see you fit to be left of the hook."
"You just sound like adar." Elladan said with a groan at which Nestaron laughed softly.
"We healers tend to think in some things or another alike, namárië, don't let the light of your star fade." and with that was he gone, leaving a slightly blushing Elladan behind.
On the next day was Arwen gazing happily out of the large window while behind her were her ada and Elrohir ranting to a blushing and covering Elladan about how he could even think such and absurdity that they would be happy if he got hurt anstead of his mother. She had already hit him on the back of his head to show what she thought about his stupidity, but after this would everything be well again. The young elleth knew that it would never be fully the same till they sail themselves to Valinor, but it still could be good as long as they are all together. Arwen had decided to write to her daeradar to tell him if he sees her nana's mellon vain again then he should give him a hug in her place. She couldn't have know that said friend was currently sitting atop of one of the older trees watching the scene inside, a little smile on his lips.
"They are all on the path of healing now, and something tells me that they will need to heal for what will come." Nestaron said as he gazed at his left hand where his mothers inheritance to him gleamed calling to her twin, feeling him somewhere out there, slumbering, but he would soon wake and if the One Ring awakens then this age will come soon to a close as would the time of elves. "I think uncle will soon be back, don't you think, Dûr Ithil?" he asked with a chuckle knowing well if that time comes will he be made to choose neither the side of good or evil only helping one or the other in occasions of dire need in the case of healing or giving leads, but nothing more.
Well, this was fine with him, the orcs attacked everything with elven heritage no matter who they were and he hated only hurting them more then they already were, this was one of the grounds why he decided to keep one eye on the gwanűn for a little bit more. If a soul has been burned by hate and got so close to twist itself then needed cautious steps to be taken to prevent a relapse and it was a healers duty to make sure that they patients manage to heal and as a last representative of his kin of soul healers he would just do that.
A Dream Dweller's path leads them through eternal darkness filled with grief and pain, but they don't step back because they have accepted the task given to them at the moment of they birth.