Lost Memories/Amnesia Girl Chapter 42

"Signal flares," Amarante muttered to herself the bright light flashing in the sky. Watching her best friend begin to drift away, Shiho gripped her mobile suit's controls unwilling to move from her current position.

"AMARANTE WAIT!" Shiho called out.

"Yes?" she asked kindly.

"Come back to Z.A.F.T. I know we're not perfect but," a disillusioned Shiho began before being cut off by Amarante. Shiho really didn't want to believe that Z.A.F.T. could use such a powerful weapon. Z.A.F.T. is nothing like the brutal and savage Naturals.

"Not when they have that super weapon! I'm sorry Shiho…but if you're going to think that way, then you're nothing but a toy soldier who is manipulated by the children who play with you," Amarante snapped gunning her thrusters leaving her best friend on the battlefield.

"Where's Amarante?" Athrun asked one of the mechanics as he exited his machine. The mechanic flinched looking over at Amarante's machine. She was the first one to dock in the hangar.

"She's still inside her mobile suit," the mechanic replied.

"Thanks," Athrun replied pushing away from his mobile suit. He frowned seeing a crowd surrounding Amarante's machine. I knew it was a bad idea to let her go out, Athrun thought as Kira joined him.

"Is she alright?" Kira asked as the hatch opened and Amarante emerged.

"Mare," Athrun cooed but she merely pushed past him making a beeline to the locker room. Confused Athrun and Kira turned to each other chasing after her. Upon reaching the open elevator, Amarante frantically pushed the close button allowing the doors to close on Athrun's and Kira's surprised faces. How could Amarante be that rude not only to push past them but to also close the elevator door on them?

"I think I know who could be troubling her," Kira mustered as they waited for the elevator.

"Really?" Athrun asked skeptically. The elevator pinged gently opening its doors to the two young men. Athrun motioned for Kira to enter first so they could speak in private about the matter.

"She was worried that she'd encounter her sister out on the battlefield," answered Kira quietly. They felt the elevator ascend gently as they leaned against the sides.

"I really don't see why she was out on the battlefield. We specifically told her not to," Athrun scolded. This is what I was afraid of…Amarante's a gentle individual like Kira. I knew she was going to get hurt like this, Athrun thought pessimistically.

"Cut her a little slack Athrun. Mr. Waltfeld probably told her to come join us. You know how she feels about him," Kira reasoned.

"She still should have remained near the Eternal," Athrun answered.

"Stop worrying about her," Kira groaned. "She's a big girl isn't she?" Kira had always taken Athrun's constant worrying with a grain of salt but now it was get ridiculous. Amarante, although young, could take care of herself. The door pinged again exposing them to the locker room door.

"Well Amarante should still be in there, hopefully she's not too upset," Athrun sighed. Opening the door they were surprised to see it cold and lifeless. Amarante could never undress that fast. Mare, you know you can always tell me what's wrong, Athrun thought floating to her locker. He felt like punching and kicking it open like how Yzak did to Nicol's locker after he died. He wanted to make sure that Amarante was at least dressed. Silently the two friends undressed putting on their uniforms.

"Athrun," Kira whispered motioning with his eyes to a small huddle in the rear left corner. Slowly Athrun looked over his shoulder seeing the little huddle's shoulders rising and falling sporadically. She still had on her flight suit, which worried Athrun. What if her oxygen ran out and her body was spazing?

"Mare," Athrun called out gently to her, "Amarante, are you okay?" Approaching the girl Athrun took her gloved hands and Kira carefully worked on getting her helmet off. She didn't put up a struggle as it clicked sliding off her head. The oxygen hissed and her cries became more audible.

"Don't cry Amarante, Athrun's not mad at you," Kira spoke up. Athrun shot him a glare rubbing Amarante's hands. Playfully Kira shrugged wanting Amarante to smile.

"What's wrong, Amarante?" Athrun asked in a soothing voice. Her whole face was almost red as she continued to sob.

"Waltfeld's going to leave me all by myself after the war! Then I'll be all alone for the rest of my life!" Amarante cried out. What the hell? Where did this come from? Athrun thought raising an eyebrow to the strange outburst.

"Amarante, why would you think that?" Kira asked. I remember overhearing Waltfeld saying that her sister was a manipulator. Is this the reason why she was worried, Kira thought rubbing the girl's back gently.

"Yeah, Waltfeld loves you," Athrun soothed.

"Oh REALLY? I thought so too! But…but how could he care about a stupid good for nothing child like me? I don't even believe Mu would take me in," Amarante cried out. Amaranta really got to her. I never thought that Amarante would fall so hard for one devious girl's tricks, Athrun thought.

"Forget what Amaranta told you. You're loved by everyone here Amarante," Kira chipped in.

"Amarante you should stay away from your sister for the rest of the battle," Athrun urged in a gentle voice. "She's only playing mind games with you so you will break down and lose focus during battle. Just ignore everything she tells you. You said you wanted to stop crying right?"

"But," Amarante muttered drying her eyes on her gloves.

"Why don't you stay with us? We'll keep you safe," Kira suggested.

"Kira!" Athrun scolded.

"Yes?" he replied innocently prompting Amarante to chuckle. She loved their gentle bickering as if they were brothers.

"S-So he won't leave?" she muttered looking up at them through blood shot eyes.

"No," Kira answered. "He would never do that, you mean the world to him. He even allows you to call him Dad and Daddy, why would he leave you after developing that kind of bond?"

"Why don't you get dressed and freshen up a little bit. Kira and I will go to the bridge to figure out what our upcoming plans are," Athrun said in his commanding tone. The girl nodded allowing Athrun and Kira to pull her to her feet. Hesitantly she threw her arms around Kira hugging the person who killed her boyfriend, her mind and part of her future. She really didn't know why she did it since every once in a while she had to resist the urge to punch him and she sometimes still had trouble forgiving him. Kira quietly wrapped an arm around her waist before offering the other to Athrun. The blue haired boy flinched, he wasn't used to this type of gesture from Kira since their first meeting on the battlefield.

"Come on, she needs you too," Kira replied her tears staining his uniform. She was an emotional mess but someone needed to be there to protect her.

"Amarante, may I speak with you?" Waltfeld asked catching up with his little girl in the hall. Athrun and Kira had told him about what had happened and he wanted to speak with her before she headed out to the battlefield again.

"Hi, sir," Amarante replied giving him a salute.

"You're gonna greet me like that? Come here!" Waltfeld ordered in a ferocious tone. Amarante gulped approaching the man, he was probably irritable from battle. Yet what could she have done wrong? Ashamed she looked down and away from his face. Waltfeld frowned seeing his little girl so depressed. Wrapping his arm around her Waltfeld pulled her close kissing her cheek softly. "Amarante, I love you. You know that right?" Amarante stiffened, trying not to accept his words and his affection. In some ways she wanted their relationship to go back the way it was, as commander and subordinate, at least that's what her sister wanted her to do.

"Excuse me Commander Waltfeld," Amarante began stiffly, "but I have to get back to the locker room." She pushed herself out of his grip not wanting to look at her commander's face.

"Amarante, forget whatever Amaranta told you. This is exactly like what happened at your home, she's playing mind games with you. You need to stop allowing her to trick you into doubting yourself and your abilities. Remember what you told me? Tomorrow will always be a better day," Waltfeld snapped.

"Either way I look at it…I'm going to be alone so what's the point?" Amarante replied with an icy glare. In her opinion, their little chat was over with because she was prepared to live alone for the rest of her life. Amarante had already made up her mind that she was never going to love another because NO ONE could ever be Nicol. He was just too perfect.

"Amarante…do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?" Waltfeld growled. He loved this little girl like she was his own daughter, and now she was telling him that she wanted to live without him?

"Of course not! But where am I going to go after this war? My father's now dead, my mother's been dead and I hardly believe Mu would take me in because of his new love interest. I've been passed from person to person, cast out of my own home, thrown into a female boarding school where I was finally able to make my own decisions, and that's why I joined Z.A.F.T.! I can't even return there now…Where's a war orphan like me going to go?" Amarante demanded. Quietly Waltfeld went into his coat pulling out a letter. She braced herself for whatever Waltfeld was going to do.

Tossing it to her Waltfeld let out a deep sigh, "I was going to show you this after the war, but maybe it's better to give it to you now. Do what you want with it." Amarante caught the letter looking questionably at it. The envelope was blank and sealed causing Amarante to wonder what could possibly be so special about this envelope?

"What is it?" she asked her anger simmering down. Amarante had a huge curiosity drive. While they were still in Banadiya, Waltfeld would commonly use her curiosity to make her do something she would normally never do.

"You tell me," Waltfeld answered in a dry vague tone turning away from Amarante he left her standing there with the letter. Did I hurt him? No…I wasn't trying to, Amarante thought worriedly.

"Commander!" Amarante cried out beginning to follow him.

"You have a job to do young lady. We'll continue to talk later," Waltfeld ordered looking back at her. He was happy to see that she had calmed down and was slowly going back to normal. Amaranta really rocked her boat.

"Are you ready Mare?" Athrun asked peering over her shoulder. She had been reading and rereading this letter to herself silently for about twenty minutes.

"Yeah," Amarante replied looking back at Athrun.

"Are you sure you want to go?" he asked skeptically. She was still in a weak state of mind and the little girl he wanted to protect. He could never see her as anything else, besides that adorable little confused fifteen year old girl that Nicol fell head over heels in love with.

"Yeah, for Commander Waltfeld's sake," Amarante replied awkwardly. She wasn't sure what to call him anymore. She felt horrible for fighting with him so she couldn't call him Dad, but it had been so long that she had called him commander that she couldn't call him anything else.

"Don't you mean Dad?" Kira asked curiously.

"I don't think I deserve to call him that anymore…we had a little fight," Amarante sighed looking away from her friends. She felt so ashamed of herself, but what could she do? She couldn't take back her words and she knew that it hurt him to hear her say those words.

"I'm pretty sure Mr. Waltfeld forgives you," Kira replied. (A/N: I would have added an adjective here but everything I thought of would have made him seem gay) Amarante slipped the letter into the envelope floating over to her locker; she pushed it through one of the slits.

"I know he'll forgive me…I don't think I can forgive myself," Amarante responded.

"You love him right?" Kira asked as the three pilots floated into the elevator.

"Of course I do…as if he was my REAL father…but what does that have to do with anything?" Amarante asked.

"You're a smart girl…you'll figure out," Kira chuckled as they put on their helmets. Why won't anyone give me a clear answer? Amarante though with a groan.

"Remember to stay near us alright? I'll protect you," Athrun explained gently as they pushed off towards their respective mobile suits.

"Ri-Right," Amarante muttered quietly. She felt so queasy about going out to fight again. Her sister was amazing with mind games and she didn't want to allow herself to be her toy anymore. "ATHRUN!"

"What?" he asked turning around to see the little girl he swore to protect.

"You won't allow her to hurt me right?" she asked meekly.

"Of course he won't, because he's Athrun and Athrun will never allow another friend to die," Kira called out supportively. Right, they wouldn't let her hurt me…and what about the others…Kira only knows about my sister. Those other three…Armand, I think one was named that, Amarante thought nervously entering her cockpit with the help of two mechanics.

"Good luck Little Miss Waltfeld," one of the mechanics told her playfully. He knew she needed the uplifting words, since she was never this quiet before a battle.

"Thank you," Amarante replied nervously.

"Stop this war so we can all go home," the same mechanic asked tapping her helmet. They closed the hatch calling out to their fellow mechanics and workers to clear the area. Systematically Amarante activated her machine with a sigh, she just wanted the fighting to end.

"Amarante, Athrun will leave first and then you're up next," Kira ordered. I'm surprised to see Amarante acting so meekly, Kira thought. "Amarante!"

"Yes?" she asked quietly.

"If you lose sight of yourself, you won't be able to fight at your full potential. I know you feel like you're at your worse right now but you are a truly powerful soldier who can make a difference in this battle and in so many people's lives. Don't forget that," Kira lectured. I see myself in her…And I can't let her be played with by her sister, Kira thought.

"Right," Amarante answered more confidently. Kira smiled softly, hoping his words of encouragement would give Amarante strength in battle.

"Amarante proceed to the catapult," the operator ordered. With a sigh Amarante felt the locks release her GuAIZ. Taking a few steps she moved forward to the airlock. Everyone's counting on me…but, am I really that reliable? Amarante thought pushing forward slightly on the joystick and throttle so her mobile suit would begin to float. Shaking the thoughts from her head she watched the launch screen waiting for the words "all green."

"This is Amarante, launching!" she called out thrusting the throttle forward launching into the battlefield.

So I think I'm going to change the sequel's name from "The Starlit Battlefield" to "Behind Lines", something on the lines of that or "Traitor"

Not sure yet but the new choices are better for what the story will be about.

Hope to see you guy soon, Finals are soon so I'm going to be busy, but I'll have some time after that!

~WoofumsPup formerly CuteAiboAibo