Shirou cautiously approaches the seemingly injured loli whining on the ground.

"You alright Ilya?" Shirou asks her.

"It hurts..." She whines and shows him her knee a couple of tears stream from her crimson eyes.

Holy crap, that actually looks pretty bad. There's a gash in her knee that's leaking a little bit of blood. Shirou looks around for what might have caused it and he spots a nail that's sticking up a bit out of the wooden floor. She must have tripped and hit her knee on it. Shirou starts feel pretty bad for even suspecting that she wasn't hurt.

"..." Shirou then hears a loud roar and thundering footsteps as Berseker runs into the entryway and looks up at Shirou from the bottom of the staircase. It seems he sensed Ilya was hurt.

Shirou scoops Ilya up off the ground and turns to face the hulking Servant behind him. "Ilya fell and hurt herself. I'm just going to take care of it, so relax." Shirou calmly says to him. Even though the fucker was taller than him and could punch him in half if he had a mind to.

"OH YEAH!" Berserker roared in a voice that sounded curiously like Randy Savage and gives Shirou a thumbs up in approval before turning around to return to Dave the Barbarian. CRISIS AVERTED!

The fuck? Did Berserker just talk? Well whatever, Shirou's got more important things to worry about. He carries the crying Ilya to the nearest bathroom and sets her down on the toilet before rummaging around for bandaids and such.

"You were pretty cool back there Onii-chan, standing up to Berserker like that." Ilya sniffles but actually looks pretty happy now.

"My cute little sister was injured. I'll stand up to God himself if I have to." Shirou finds some disinfectant and baindaids in the cabinet.

Ilya smiles at him.

"This is gonna hurt a bit, just try and relax alright?" He tells her and sprays some of the disinfectant on her knee before putting a baindaid over it. Ilya flinches a little at first as Shirou sprays her knee.

Ilya hops to her feet. "Thanks Onii-chan, but I don't feel like running around much anymore." She says to him.

"What do you want to do now then? I'm pretty much yours for the day I guess." Shirou asks her as the two of them walk back out into the hallway.

"You should play with Berserker a little bit too. Lately all he does is sit around and watch tv, I'm getting a little worried about him."

Shirou's eye twitches a little at her suggestion. "Mind running that by me again?"

Ilya whistles. This isn't gonna be good.

"OHHHH YEAAAAH!" Shirou hears a bellowing roar and Berserker is now charging up the stairs at jo, with what looks like an entire bed mattress.

"Awesome! Is that one of those TempurPedic ones? I hear those are really ni-AAHHHHHHH!" Before he realizes it he seems to have been knocked through the large window at the top of the stairs and is now flying through the air. Shirou vaguely catches the impression of his body still in the mattress.

Shirou somehow manages to fly all the way back into town where he lands harmlessly in a convieniently placed mattress factory several miles away on top of a pile of very soft mattresses.

"Kid? That you?" Shirou hears a familiar voice. He opens his eyes to find Lancer standing over him and eyeing him curiously.

"Sup Lancer." Shirou greets him casually and sits up.

"Man, I always run into you in the strangest places." Lancer sighs.