~a/n~

Needed some time off, but I'm back…for now. Here's to 2012, the year when the world is (supposedly) going to end. Also, it's hard to find any wacky ideas. And for those who couldn't guess it from the prologue, this fic is mostly crack with a hint of serious and a dash of affection.

Why it's so hard for today's readers to recognize a crackfic these days, I will never know…

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Also, no Ba' Gamnans were harmed during the making of this chapter.

~end of a/n~

Our new "couple" have decided that perhaps the incident in Bhujerba was a bit awkward, so they decide to sneak out of town before the awkwardness increased any further. While they did manage to escape further awkwardness in the sky city, word of the incident, despite efforts to prevent it, has spread great distances already.

Those wankers in security really need to learn to keep better tabs on the happenings surrounding the areas they patrol…

-Memoires of Emperor Larsa of Archades

Chapter 20: 18

"Hey, Vaan!" Vaan Ratsbane sat bolt upright in the cockpit of the airship that they were using, which was the same one as their last adventure. "Yes, dear?" he responded, adding a sneer to that last word, that seignior moment the Marquis had still made things a bit awkward around others, but to the two of them, Vaan and Penelo started using it as a joke of sorts. "We STILL have yet to 'drop off' our 'passenger'. Perhaps we should take care of that." Penelo said, entering the cabin. "That… would probably be a good idea… but we have yet to learn as to his 'destination.'" The "guest" they speak of is Ba' Gamnan. The very same one that stowed away on their ship early in the last adventure. By now, he should have learned NOT to mess with the "Great Sky Pirate Vaan Ratsbane", but this is Ba' Gamnan, the most obsessive and ruthless Bangaa headhunter ever to sully the face of Ivalice. The day he gives up a bounty is the day sand replaces Gil as the currency of the world. Both will never happen.

"I know that, but we need to drop him off somewhere! Listening to him griping all day is starting to get old." Vaan looked at the cockpit entrance, paused for a moment, and nodded in agreement. Then, he did something that would shock most people who actually knew him. He thought things through, and quite thoroughly, I might add. And then, an idea popped into his head, as though a light bulb had just bin activated.

"Hey, Penelo, we left him in the cargo hold, right?" Vaan asked. And Penelo responded: "Yes. And I also made sure the supplies were thoroughly secured, and with him on the other end of the room, still bound. But why do you ask?"

"You'll see quite soon, m' lady." Vaan answered. He then moved his hand, and pressed the button that activated the intercom. "Oi, swinebreath! You can swim, right?" it suddenly clicked in Penelo's mind just what Vaan was going to do, and it made more sense than what she had in mind. "OF COURSE I CAN SWIM! AND WHEN THESE ROPES ARE DEALT WITH, YOU WILL STOP WITH THE USELESS QUESTIONS.!" A voice boomed from the underbelly of the ship. "then enjoy a nice dip in the ocean, headhunter! Vaan pressed another button, and a roaring sound was heard as the door to the ship's cargo hold suddenly opened, and two pairs of eyes turned to the monitor showing the room that is now no longer the temporary prison of Ba' Gamnon, but a soon to be deathtrap. Somehow the Bangaa managed to get on his feet and is trying to run away from the opening, only for his foot to land on a banana peel, causing him to slip, land on his side and roll out of the ship screaming like a little girl.

We now go to the outside of the ship, which is over a vast sea. There is a splash, and then a Bangaa is seen braking the surface, gasping for air. He looks up, seeing his targets fading into the distance, the cargo door already shut. Looking around, he picks a direction, hoping it would lead him to land. Then, using his legs and tail, starts to swim.

Back with our favorite duo, we find them laughing hysterically, the ship now on autopilot so as to avoid a crash, the both of them on the floor. After a few minutes, they manage to calm down. "did you see the look on his face when the door opened?" Vaan asked, grinning like a madman. "yup! And when he slipped on the banana peel? That look was priceless!" replied Penelo, who was wearing a grin of equivalent proportion. Suddenly, the air got a bit more dense as they remembered their situation. "Perhaps it would be a good idea to visit Old Dalan. He's always willing to help us out…and Migello too. I still find it hard to believe that he was a privateer for the Dalmascan Army." Vaan said, with a bit of awkwardness starting to seep into his voice. Penelo nodded in agreement, just as Vaan had done a few minutes earlier. So, they deactivated the Autopilot, and turned northeast from their current position, towards the Royal City of Rabanastre…

~a/n~

Sorry if this chapter is a bit short, but I've been having some problems lately, and I finally had the inspiration for a new chapter, only for it to run out where it did. Writer's block can be a serious pain in the arse. And yes, I will be continuing this, if the posting of this chappy was any indication.

~end of a/n~