I'm posting now! Sorry I was gone so long! Soul searching, family issues, and hospital visits. So… Here we are again.

Patricia and Jerome, (I have no idea what I would do for a PatriciaXAlfie, got any ideas? POST 'EM!)

AVERAGE GIRL- EMILY OSMENT

February 14, you say you want to see me

I woke up to Amber's shrill scream.

Oh please no…

I reached for my cell phone and looked.

One, it was 6 in the morning on a Saturday. I'm going to punch the blonde for that one.

Second… It's Valentine's Day! A groan slipped through my throat and shattered the silence.

"What's the matter Patricia?" Mara asked as she sat on her bed, dressed and ready to go.

I still can't believe he's dating… HER! My thoughts screamed as I shook my head.

I just forced a smile on my face, and spat out the words as nicely as I could. "Oh, just that it's Valentine's Day."

"You don't like that holiday?" Mara asked.

"Hate it," I said. Painful memories popped up as a strong hand knocked on the door.

Mara, being her, went to the door and opened it.

"Hey Jer," She smiled at her boyfriend, blocking my view of him.

"Here, Mar," He handed her something.

Ten pounds says its chocolate and flowers.

I'm thinking chocolate and flowers

"Chocolate and flowers!" Mara's voice pierced the air.

Look at me, I taunted in my head. I'm now a physic!

We meet for breakfast, I'm feeling restless

"Hey, Trixie," Jerome smiled at me as Mara bustled herself with trying to find the perfect place for her gifts.

"Hey, Jerome," The words hurt. And the way he looked at Mara kills me little by little every time.

It's like dying a slow, painful, death.

Been getting ready for hours

The two walked out, shutting me in the room. I glanced at the outfit I had planned to wear today.

I had barely yanked on the jeans when Trudy called, "PATRICIA PHONE!"

"Coming!" I yanked my red top down with one hand and opened the door with the other.

And you walk through the door, I go to give you a kiss

"Hullo?" I said, trying hard not to wonder who in their right minds would call me on Valentine's day…

Certainly not my parents.

But you turn your head to avoid my lips

"Tris?" My dad's phone echoed through my head.

"Dad?" I chocked out, noticing out of the corner of my eye that my house mates were trying to see what I was up to. "Why are you calling?"

"Tris-"

Dad's voice was cut off by a loud, shrilling cry.

"Is that mom?" I demanded. I turned my back to my house mates.

"Tris, I-I don't know how to tell you this."

"Tell me what?"

"Your brother… He committed suicide."

My body went numb and the phone almost slipped from my grip.

And who's this girl you're with?

"Tomas?" I chocked out, tears threatening to escape. "What do you mean?"

"He… He couldn't take it."

Does that mean we're over, over?

"No…" I shook my head, not wanting to believe it. "No."

"Tris, I'm sorry but-"

"He wouldn't leave me," I snapped back, anger taking the place of the tears. "He wouldn't leave me."

Tomas was my 19 year old brother. We were close… I mean really close. We were basically as close as best friends could get. We knew everything.

I gave you my heart and a sweet love letter

"He… He wrote a letter." Dad said. "It says 'Tell Tris I love her and I'm sorry'."

I chocked back a sob as tears fell.

"Daddy-"

"I know Tris, do you want me to get you?"

But you gave it right back said I like her better

"No," I shook my head. "No."

"But Tris-"

"Bye."

I hung up the phone, my heart tightening. I put my hand to my mouth and closed my eyes.

Get it together Tris, I snapped. Tomas wouldn't want you crying… He wouldn't.

Two stray tears fell down before they stopped. I waited till my heat was gone before I slipped on an emotionless face.

Play it till your alone, My thoughts hissed. You don't need this now.

I walked into the silent room and slipped into my normal chair.

And that's when my whole world came crashing down

No matter how bad my world had crashed. I was going to pull ahead.

"Is everything alright?" Nina asked, looking at me with concern.

"Its fine," I said with more venom then I intended. Nina looked taken aback, seeing as we had grown to be best friends.

Like Tomas and me…

Tears threatened to return as I reached for an apple.

"Sorry Nina," I told her.

"No its fine," She told me. "I get it."

Right then, I knew.

She knew someone had died. But she wasn't going to talk about it.

And she's walking around like the girl of your dreams

"So who called Trixie?" Jerome asked, making my heart break again. I looked over at him with his left hand in Mara's.

With her Angelina lips, double zero jeans

"Oh my dad," I told him, sighing mentally. There was no way he would fall for me. Not in a million years.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"He just called to tell me that Thomas told him to tell me he loved me."

"Who's Thomas?" Mara asked, and I felt my face heat up. They didn't know. A quick glance at Jerome's face made my heart stop.

But what was that?

Jealousy?

Can't believe I didn't see this coming around

"My brother," I said.

She's just so beautiful, I'm just an average girl

Mara smiled in the only way Mara could.

"That's sweet."

I forced a smile, hating her. She was someone beautiful. Me? Well, I'm just average.

An average girl.

He says, "I'm sorry", I just keep smiling

"I'm sorry," Jerome told me. "That your brother couldn't speak to you in person."

I just kept a fake, forced smile.

He'll be in a box the next time I see him and I'll…

Inside it feels like I'm broken

And I'll be broken.

Tears threatened to overflow.

I say, "It's okay, happy Valentine's Day"

"It's okay," I lied. "I'll see him soon." –I stood up- "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Are you sure you're are fine?" He asked me.

Biggest lie I've ever spoken

"Perfectly peachy," I lied the words hurting. I left the room and fled up the stairs, hearing the phone faintly ring.

They're walking out the door and I wave goodbye

I slammed the door and collapsed on my bed.

As soon as they're gone, I start to cry

Tears flowed freely as I pressed a pillow to my lips to quiet down loud sobs.

Put my faith in the wrong guy

Why?

Why did he have to leave?

Why did he have to go?

I wasn't sure who I was crying about now. Jerome or Thomas… Maybe both.

It's over, over

The only thing I thought of was that it was over… It all was.

I gave you my heart and a sweet love letter

But you gave it right back, said I like her better

And that's when my whole world came crashing down

"Patricia?" Fabian's voice reached my ears. "Are you alright?"

"GO AWAY!" I screamed. Before I was engulfed in numbing pain.

"Patricia-" Amber tried.

"GO!" I sobbed.

The footsteps walked away as I cried.

And she's walking around like the girl of your dreams

One of the closet people to me was walking with angels.

The one I wanted to be close was walking with her.

With her Angelina lips, double zero jeans

Can't believe I didn't see this coming around

The door cracked open and I saw his face peek in.

"Are you-"

My shoe was in the air before I knew it.

"Go back to that mouse you have for a girlfriend!" I shrieked. "Leave me alone!"

The door slammed shut as my shoe missed its mark.

She's just so beautiful, I'm just an average girl

And now they're gone and I feel fatal

Soon my sorrow became anger. I soon found relief by tearing my pillow to shreds… Then some shirts. Soon, it got to me throwing the pocket knife Thomas had given me into the wall repeatedly.

Scratch his name out on the table

He's gone, Tris.

"Trixie," Jerome's voice reached my ears but I didn't look at him.

He's a jerk, he's a loser

"Go away," My voice was stronger now. But he didn't go, he just sat on the edge of my bed.

"I have a knife you know," I growled. "I could easily stab you-"

"I heard."

He's a love abuser

The last, small shard of my heart finally fell as he said the words.

"Yeah well," My voice was tight. "So?"

February 14, I'm feeling sad and lonely

He was away from me, but all I wanted was to be told that everything was going to be okay, even though I knew it wouldn't. But he wouldn't hold me because he was dating Mara…

Nobody here wants to hold me

And besides, why would he want to touch an average girl like me? Especially an emotionally damaged girl like me?

I gave you my heart and a sweet love letter

But you gave it right back said I like her better

And that's when my whole world came crashing down

A letter… A death… Words I can't take.

I remember what Thomas told me to do when I said I liked Jerome.

"Tris, don't be afraid of love," Thomas had said. "Make love be afraid of you."

And she's walking around like the girl of your dreams

With her Angelina lips, double zero jeans

"But Thomas!" I had told him. "He likes Mara, a pretty, smart girl. Not me, your average gothic pixie."

I can't believe I didn't see this coming around

"One day, Trixie," Thomas had whispered. "You're going to see that if you don't do it in the moment, the moment will pass and you will lose everything."

I leaned closer to him. I had no idea why though. But the gap was getting smaller rapidly.

I gave you my heart and a sweet love letter

That's when I realized he was leaning in also.

But you gave it right back, said I like her better

When our lips touched, it was the best thing I could have imagined.

There you go Tris, Thomas's voice echoed through my skull. That's how you live in the moment.

And that's when my whole world came crashing down

It ended too fast… All too fast.

"What about Mara?" I asked.

"I caught her in the hallway kissing Mick," Jerome's face was hard. "I knew I wasn't enough."

She's just so beautiful

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my head against his chest.

"I'm not," He told me back. "I knew sooner or later she'd go back. She's too…"

"Perfect?" I said.

He laughed. "There's only one girl who's perfect, Trixie?"

She's just so beautiful

"And who is that?" I asked.

"You." He breathed.

She's so beautiful

We kissed again, and I knew that maybe I wasn't so average after all. Maybe there was hope for my heart to get fixed after all.

Maybe this average girl can fix her soul one kiss at a time.

I'm just an average girl

I always thought that it was weird that their were no siblings mentioned really in HoA so... I thought, this might be why Patricia doesn't talk about hers. NOT TO BE DARK IN ANY WAY!

Anywho...

A little rusty? Probably. Also, please comment! Tell me weither your pissed, happy, or well… Angry? Love all ya readers! -SLC