A/N: This is set right after the manga's ending. The ties that bind them will be ridiculous and shallow. I really want to emphasize, this story will be leaning to the side of crack-fics, the characters and the plot will not be acting normally. I plan to take a rest on deep plots involving S/K as again, aside from My HS Life, I am working on another anime pairing right now.
On a side note, counter-wish is a Freudian term. It is mostly prevalent in his psychoanalysis of dreams: but this fic is anything but a dream for Kagome, haha. Counter-wish : an element that appears to contradict a wish, but actually fulfills it. That being said, the title itself will give you a great idea as to what this is all about. :)
The Waiver Gone Bad
The Four Daiyoukais of the corners of the earth sat on the great banquet hall, satiated, having finished their generous meal. Kagome marveled at the great demons that stood proud before her: the firm way they carried their shoulders told of their flawless royal lineage, and the great beauty that radiated from them made her feel like a minuscule, dirty brown earthworm among an elegant flock of swans.
A long, sonorous burp reverberated on the hall.
Kagome grimaced.
"Cheers to our host, the Great Dog Demon of the West!" The Northern Daiyoukai lifted his glass, picking his teeth with a large fishbone, trying to get rid of a stubborn string of tendon that stuck in his fangs. He let out another burp again, and before Kagome could bolt up and lecture him about table manners, the Northern Daiyoukai continued with his speech. "And cheers to Kami to have brought these fated lovers together. Sesshomaru, boy, I never thought you would be the first one in our group to tie the knot."
Haruka, the Southern Daiyoukai stood up, wiping the tears forming the corners of her eyes. "I couldn't agree more, Katsumi." She raised her glass. "A toast, to the future Lord and Lady of the West." As she was about to lean over for the toast, something very small, and very wet, stuck on the side of her cheek.
Her brows twitched as her eyes fell on Nobume, The Eastern Daiyoukai. He was seated across the table, his neck craned stiffly towards her, a nervous smile plastered on his face.
His pointer finger was shoved inside one nostril. "Ooops..." was all he could manage.
A cloud of darkness and thunderstorm hovered over the Southern Daiyoukai. "You... just flicked a booger on me... you disgusting-" The table erupted into a battleground, and Kagome turned to Sesshomaru who was seated beside her, unmindful of the chaos around them.
"Care to explain to me what brought about our current situation?" She asked. Sesshomaru had his arms crossed in front of his chest and he was looking away from the table. It reminded Kagome of a toddler in a temper tantrum, and restraining her own temper, she decided to re-phrase.
"Oh Great Sesshomaru-sama, would you please be so kind as to explain to this worthless worm of a human, the most unfortunate circumstances that bound thy unworthy self to thee?"
Katsumi's bellowing laughter assaulted her ears, and she felt a painful slap on the broad of her back. "Very well done! But I think you overdid it, your future husband is not as old as you think he is!"
Kagome straightened her back, recovering from the powerful blow that she was sure would have knocked a horse unconscious overnight. Not as old, Kagome thought. Well, if you can call three hundred years your senior "not as old"...
"Don't you think your bride-to-be deserves an explanation, Sesshomaru?" Katsumi nudged the Western Lord with his elbow.
"This is stupid. Everything is stupid." Sesshomaru dismissed, refusing to speak further. Kagome sat quietly beside him, trying to gather her own understanding, and it dawned on her: this must be some kind of bet gone wrong? Like the ones she sees in the movies, where the popular group would make a bet and the main character would lose, and was now forced to date the nerdy nobody?
Except the popular group was the Daiyoukais, and the Nerdy Nobody was her. She gasped.
She was no Nerdy Nobody! Weren't they aware that she was the Shikon Miko?!
And there the plot thickens-
"Tell me about this bet." Kagome snapped. She waited for them to finish their dinner to get explanations. And Kami knows what time it was, Inuyasha would be looking for her, he must be worried sick! Poor Inuyasha, her real, LEGIT fiance!
"What bet?" Katsumi stood, taking her hand and led her away from the rowdy group. "No bet was involved. Only a waiver."
"I am so confused," Kagome shook her head as they made their way to the great halls of his castle, to a corner in the library. (Which was beside the dining hall,)
"Perhaps it is better," the Northern Daiyoukai said as he finally stopped in front of an ornate bowl filled with silvery water, "That we show you." He pointed to the mirror-like surface. Kagome bent over to take a look, her heart pounding.
And she waited, and waited.
And waited.
She tried to wait patiently for the images to appear. It didn't. "Uh, what am I supposed to do?"
Katsumi sighed. "You dip your head in the water."
"What?!" Kagome drew back, alarmed. "I won't do that." She eyed at him suspiciously. "For all I know, you might hold my head down and drown me."
"Why the hell would I drown you?" The Northern Daiyoukai pulled back, scandalized. "Girl, are you going to do it or not?" With one last scathing look directed to the Northern Daiyoukai, Kagome hesitantly approached the mirror-like water, and braced her hands on the sides. She took a deep breath and plunged her head in. Spinning images filled her vision, until it finally stopped, to a palace in a desert landscape, the Eastern Lands, she assumed, and four familiar faces gathered on a large study.
"A toast," the younger Haruka raised her glass, "To the unification of the four corners. Never again shall we raise war against each other. From now on, we are allies in every way. Cheers."
Glasses met in a reserved toast, and Nobume sunk on one of the chairs, gulping the wine in one unreserved swig. "This is amazing and all, but how do we know that we are looking out for each other, and not end up stabbing each other's backs later on?"
Kagome watched in silence as she nodded her head pensively. The Eastern Lord had a point.
"I propose a contract," Katsumi stated, "anyone who betrays our alliance will be punished severely."
Sesshomaru shifted. "Contracts like those are useless. The punishment will be done after the betrayal? What we need is a true proof of our trust with each other, something that will bind our lands together, and avoid any betrayal."
Yes, Kagome agreed. Kudos for Sesshomaru's intelligence. Add the fact that he is he is drop-dead gorgeou- WHOOPS! Where the heck did that thought come from?
"He is right." Katsumi agreed, "How about a waiver? We take something of high value to the lands, to ourselves, and waiver the decision to the consensus of the Four Daiyoukais? "
"Errr.. I don't like where this is going..." Nobume fidgeted. "Leave a very important decision to the council of us four?"
Sesshomaru nodded. "It would show ultimate trust and sacrifice."
Haruka settled down. "Now to think, what right should we waiver to the consensus?"
They fell silent. "This is hard." Nobume shrugged.
"Think of an important decision we all have not made... One that we don't trust just anyone about except the council of our ancestors..." Katsumi pondered.
"If you think of it that way, the only greatest decision I would definitely trust with my ancestors is their choice for my mate..." Nobume trailed off, and his eyes widened in realization. "Forget I said tha-"
"That's it!" Katsumi exclaimed. "Let's waive our rights to choose a mate, and leave the decision to the consensus!"
"Hell no!" Nobume shot up. "I won't leave that decision to you guys! You might set me up with a gap-toothed tick youkai the size of my booger-"
Haruka stood up. "That would then show our ultimate trust to each other. We would make sure we set you up only with the best," she clasped her dainty hands together, "in good faith that you would do the same for us!"
Sesshomaru stepped forward, "I was not actually thinking towards that direction-"
"Shush!" Haruka hissed, "It was your idea, why are you backing away?!" she was scribbling away on a parchment.
"What if I fall in love with someone?" Nobume's shoulders drooped. Haruka pondered for moments. "Well," she scribbled down some more, "You can let us know of your choice, and we review that choice. That way you marry someone you like, and not be involved in any love-triangle shit,"
"This is ridiculous." Sesshomaru muttered. "Then what use is the waiver? Might as well forego the waiver and play matchmaker-"
"Matchmaker... but with risks." Katsumi elbowed him on the side and wagged his brows.
"Are we really doing this?" Nobume took the knife and paper shoved before his face. "A blood contract? What the hell,"
Haruka nodded. "We waive our rights to choose a mate and leave the final decision to the consensus. Anyone who violates this will surrender their lands." Nobume gave a hard look at the document, "As long as it says I can present my own decision to the consensus, then okay." He slit a small gash on his arm and allowed his blood to soak on the paper. Haruka and Katsumi did the same, and they approached Sesshomaru.
"Sesshomaru?"
"No."
"What?!" Nobume exclaimed. "Why?"
"This is ridiculous. I wouldn't want a bunch of circus freaks to decide on my mate-" Sesshomaru looked away. "That would be a decision for me."
"Sesshomaru, how unfair! We sacrificed for our unity, our blood is on the contract now!" Haruka panicked. "Sign it!"
"No!'
Nobume took the paper and grabbed a pen. "I know why he's like that! He's trying to be all macho, 'nobody is worthy for me' crap."
Acting out of anger, he scribbled down on the paper, saying his words aloud in sarcasm, "This waiver is in exception of Sesshomaru, Lord of the West, because he is ultramasculine and all, who will only marry the woman cunning enough to beat-"
"No, he's not acting all macho!" Katsumi crossed, also angered. He just sacrificed his right to choose a mate! And Sesshomaru thought he could go his merry way without any consequence? No Way! "Who knows, deep inside he's a hopeless romantic, thinking he's prince charming-"
"Okay," Nobume clarified, "scratch that last part. Cunning enough to strike an arrow to his HEART." He rushed the dissolving paper to Sesshomaru. "Now sign, you cheater."
"With those stupid conditions? The more reason NOT to sign!" Sesshomaru growled, and Nobume grabbed his hand and the two were engaged in a wrestling match.
"I said... sign!" They twisted and grappled on the floor, and Nobume accidentally ran the blade across Sesshomaru's arm, and a drop of his blood soaked on the small, dissolving paper. The paper then burst into flames and Sesshomaru stared blankly at the space where the contract once was.
The Four Daiyoukais were left to stare at each other, dumbfounded. They had just left one of the most important decisions of the Western Lands to Blind Fate.
"Is she okay?" Haruka patted Kagome's back in concern. "The flashback should be over by now. Why isn't she moving?"
Katsumi inched closer and poked on her side. "Is she dead?" he paused.
"I knew that humans were fragile but I never knew they would be this fragile,"
Kagome finally shifted and they moved away. Slowly she pushed her head up, not even bothering to wipe the water out of her face, floored by the bizarre absurdity she had just witnessed. She looked straight at them, her brow raised, lips in a sarcastic twitch: it was, by all accounts, the most intense deadpan they had ever seen.
"Are you kidding me?"