"Did some things you can't speak of
But at night you live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you'd seen what you know now, then.
Wasn't it beautiful running wild until you fell asleep
Until the monsters caught up to you."
- Innocent by Taylor Swift.
The next morning, Lily was dragging herself down to the common room when a shady looking Scorpius came up to her. He had his hands in his pockets and his eyes were darting around madly, avoiding hers.
"Have you talked to Rose lately?" he mumbled to her.
"No, why?"
"Nothing. If you see her, tell her I'm sorry, would you?" He shook his head and walked away, leaving Lily frowning in his wake. It was no doubt strange behaviour, and Lily made a mental note to talk to Rose. She pulled herself into an armchair and waited for Josie, who arrived ten minutes later. Together, they departed for the Great Hall.
The problem with September first falling on a Friday was that they got their timetables and then didn't need to do anything for a whole weekend. But Lily could hardly complain. Josie sure couldn't.
"This is going to be great, isn't it? I've never had a day where I don't have to rush off the day after we get back. I'm not sure what I want to do."
"Well, there's the party tonight," Briony said. She had just appeared behind them as Lily had settled herself at the Slytherin table, which was only called that because once upon a time, it was only for Slytherins. People never bothered to sit in their houses anymore; anybody sat anywhere and talked to anybody. As Lily looked around, she noticed a Slytherin comparing his timetable with a Ravenclaw, while a small Hufflepuff first year looked at them fearfully.
"Are you going?" Lily asked distractedly as she helped herself to half a slice of toast.
"I haven't decided," shrugged Josie.
At that point, Leon Novak, a Gryffindor sitting near them, looked at Lily. "You going?"
"I doubt I'll get in," Lily shrugged casually, avoiding his glare. He was a small, rather unattractive boy in her year. He shook his head.
"Sure you will. You can come with me, if you like. I'll get you in," he winked. Lily caught Josie's eye and saw that she was suppressing a laugh. It was common knowledge that Leon had had a crush on her since third year.
"Well, it's her brother's party, isn't it? So there's no chance she'll get in."
"I thought it was always your brother's party," Briony said.
"No, sometimes it's Scorpius', so I get in." She shook her head.
"Then come with me,"Leon said again.
Wanting nothing more than to drop the subject, Lily shrugged. "I'll think about it."
Leon looked as though Christmas had come early. Lily was about to tell Josie about Scorpius when she saw Josie's attention was diverted. Professor Evercreech, the head of Slytherin house, was coming around and handing out timetables. Occasionally he would hand out one to someone who wasn't in his house and snatch it back with a sneer on his face.
Professor Evercreech had been hired just after the war, according to Lily's father. He was the Potions master, like the two before him. He was incredibly short, but round, with a dirty blonde comb-over that would cause Briony to make retching sounds. He always pretended not to hear, though. He wasn't mean – in fact, he rather like Lily, probably because of who her father was.
"Good morning, Professor," Lily said cheerily as she accepted her timetable.
"Good morning, Lily," he smiled and handed Briony and Josie their timetables. Before Briony could make any retching noises, Lily spoke.
"Oh, look, History of Magic on Monday, first! And then double Potions with the Gryffindors …" When Lily looked up at Josie to see if she shared this hatred, she had her fist in her mouth, trying hard not to laugh. Her eyes were on Leon, who Lily saw was now punching the air in happiness. She quickly looked away.
"I can't believe it," Josie gushed as they headed out into the grounds. "A whole weekend. And no homework." Lily said nothing as they settled themselves under a tree and lay down in the sun.
It became quite apparent that day that Lily and Nicholas technically should never have met. He was a sixth year; she was a fifth. He was a Ravenclaw; she was a Slytherin. Their only connection was two insane boys.
"Ah, this is going to be the best year yet," Lysander sighed as he looked over his timetable. He nudged Nicholas. "Free periods. And it starts on a Saturday. If that's not great, I don't know what is."
Nicholas nodded distractedly as they headed out to their usual weekend spot by the lake. As usual, it was busy, but expansive – not to mention that nobody dared get in the way of a sixth year. Except seventh years, of course. Nicholas settled himself under the shade of a beech tree and lay down, while the boys parrotted each other on nonsense that he didn't hear…
"Nicholas!"
That wasn't the boys. Nicholas bolted upright as his stomach knotted. Coming towards him was Alexis, seemingly having departed her usual chaperone of friends that accompanied her everywhere. She came right up to him, her shiny dark hair flouncing behind her back and her ivory skin flushed from the jounrey across the grounds. "Hi!" she beamed.
"Hi," he returned with less enthusiasm. She sat herself down beside him.
"You didn't write to me this summer," she complained.
"Yeah, I did! Loads of times, didn't you get them?" She shook her head. "My damn owl. Always getting lost." He shook his head dramatically. She didn't look convinced. He hadn't written to her at all, truth be told. In fact, their family owl was the best they could have wanted and had never gotten lost. But she didn't know that, and he decided to keep it that way.
"Well, we're still good, aren't we?" she asked. She pulled herself up to stare into his eyes with her dark ones, and Nicholas, like always, was overcome by her beauty, her undivided attention, the dream he always thought he was living when she entered his presence because nobody that beautiful could ever have chosen him, the girl he used to fawn over…
And with all this in mind, it was no surprise when his mouth moved before his head thought, and said: "Yes, of course."
She smiled. "Great. Then I'll see you at Roar tonight, yeah?" He nodded, and she bounded off, leaving Nicholas dazed by her presence. As soon as she was out of sight, Lysander clapped a hand in front of his friend's face and the spell her presence had put him under was broken.
"You're going to Roar tonight?" asked Lorcan, who had stopped to watch the interaction.
"Oh, yeah. I was thinking about it. Seems like fun, doesn't it? Seventh years always are."
"Mm. Maybe I'll score with someone," Lysander said dreamily.
"Like hell," Lorcan and Nicholas said together.
Roar had nothing to do with lions. It referred to the party, usually held by seventh years (almost always Albus Potter or Scorpius Malfoy) that took place in the Room of Requirement. There was next to no warning, but everybody somehow knew when the next party was. Usually it was after a significant event, hence the reason it was on the day school started. Originally, it was commonly referred to as 'the party in the Room of Requirement' shortened to 'party in the RoR' (pronounced roar) and then 'the RoR'. But since it was so pronounced, it became simply 'Roar.' Roars were pretty legendary. Anybody was welcome as long as you didn't bring a teacher or anything.
And as the boys cried over each other to express their excitement, Nicholas mentally attacked himself for what he had just done. It was going to cost him.
Lily found Rose quickly. She was heading down the grounds along with the rest of the school, except she was easier to spot, mainly because she was so pale she reflected the sun and she was the only one with red hair. Lily lifted herself up from the ground and ran up to her, calling her name. She ignored the cries of protest and confusion from behind her.
"Rose!" she called breathlessly as she fell into step with her cousin, who did little to acknowledge her presence. It was clear she was angry at something. "Rose? Scorpius wants to tell you he's sorry."
"Tell him," she said sharply, continuing her stride to where Lily had no idea. "That if he's going to use you as a human owl he better be paying you."
Lily didn't laugh. "What's going on between you?" she asked.
She shrugged. "Nothing. He's just being his usual pricky self."
"What did he do?"
Rose threw herself onto the ground on a spot by the lake that had not been claimed. "He's just so hot and cold. I'm getting sick of it. Now he's trying to win me over again." She huffed, and added: "You wouldn't understand."
Lily understood plenty, but was not stupid enough to argue with Rose. "Right. Sorry. Well, yeah, that's what he said. This is between you. I'll see you around."
As she started to pull herself up, Rose said, "Six sickles."
"What?"
"Six sickles. That's how much he should be paying you. Don't ask for anything less."
"Er… right. Have a good one, then."
Lily, feeling rather like a failed cupid, headed back up slowly to find her friends again. She almost jumped when a black haired boy with thick eyebrows jumped in front of her.
"Oh," she sighed, catching her breath. "Hi, Sid."
"Hi," he mumbled back, and then wasted no time attacking her lips with his. She let him indulge for only a second, and then pushed him back.
"What on earth-?" she started, annoyed.
"We're going out now, aren't we? You said so yesterday! At the feast, remember? I have a direct quote, if you want one – "
"Yeah, I remember," she grumbled. "But I said casual, not suck my face off every chance you get."
"Sorry," he shrugged. She didn't bother to say anything and continued up to the grass. Unfortunately for her, he fell into step beside her, and she couldn't see her friends anywhere. "Are you going to the Roar?" he asked. "I heard they actually hired out the house elves to make all the food from the feast. And some of the boys are getting some muggle stuff, I dunno what they call it but…"
Lily didn't listen but kept her eyes peeled for the first sign of a distraction. She was regretting the decision to go out with him already. She had said yes more out of annoyance than anythng. She'd wanted to be alone with her thoughts and everybody was talking at her, so she said yes to everybody without thinking.
A welcome distraction came in the form of Hugo, looking solemn and sulky as though the sun was killing him. She wouldn't have been surprised. She flagged him down and he changed course to head over to her and Sid.
"Hey, homo," Sid said gruflly when Hugo approached them. "Sucked any cock yet?"
"Shut up, Sid," Lily said quickly. The boy scowled and skulked off in the opposite direction. Hugo stared at him with contempt until he was out of sight, oblivious to Lily trying to get his attention.
"HEY!" she finally cried. He snapped up and looked at her.
"What?"
"I haven't seen you since last night. Catch me up."
"Nothing to catch up on," he shrugged. He was still staring at where Sid had gone off to.
"Ignore him," Lily mumbled. "He's just – "
"Yeah, whatever. He's your boyfriend. Just don't expect me to want to hang around him to much."
"Fine." Hugo was being too rude to enjoy his company. Lily had seen him like this a few times, though usually it came after calls like that. "I'm going to go meet some friends. I'll talk to you later, OK? Just ignore them, they can't hurt you."
She waved as she walked off, and found her friends where she'd left them.
It turned out they could hurt him. As night drew and Lily headed inside, she found Louis laughing his head off as he came round the corner of the hallway. "What?" she asked, upon seeing him in stitches.
"You. Should. See. Hugo," he said, emphasising each word as he gained back his breaths. "He's in the – hospital – wing – and – its just – too funny!"
With that, he ran off, and Lily almost ran to the hospital wing, her stomach bubbling in fear...
"Where's the fire?"
Lily stopped and spun around. Staring at her with a grin was Nicholas Wood, the boy from the train.
"Hopsital Wing," Lily said coolly. His smile dropped.
"Who?"
"My cousin," she said.
"Want company?"
Remembering Louis' words, Lily decided that whatever Hugo had was probably rather embarrassing. "No, thanks." So she turned around, leaving him rather confused and probably disappointed, and headed to the hopsital wing.
She didn't see him at first. He was obscured by Madam Pomfrey, the matron. She was busting around him and by the sound of it, he was putting up a fight. "I'm fine, I don't need to – argh, no – I'm fine, can I go? No, I don't need –"
"Hugo!" she called as she made her way over to him. She nearly jumped back in fright when she saw him, before doubling over with laughter to rival Louis'.
Hugo's face, usually bright red, was now rainbow coloured. It seeped into his skin and went across his face as though it was a trick of the light, only much more solid. It looked like he couldn't make up his mind. Lily tried to close her lips to stop herself laughing too hard.
"What happened?"
"Hex," he mumbled as Madam Pomfrey held his chin up and tapped her wand to his face, muttering under her breath.
"Who?" she asked, no longer laughing. Hugo scowled.
"Who do you think?"
"Oh, Hugo, I'm so – "
"It wasn't your fault," he said, although his tone implied the exact opposite. "I don't think I'll be Roar-ing tonight though."
"Maybe not," she agreed. They said nothing for a while as Madam Pomfrey continued to tap her wand to his nose, and the hex started to fade. Fifteen minutes later, Lily was walking him to his common room.
"Great start to the year," he grumbled.
"It'll get better," she assured him as he told the fat lady the password and let himself in.
"Whatever. I'll see you later. You Roar-ing it?"
"I was going to try," she said helplessly. She gave him a wave as he climbed through the portrait hole and the fat lady swung shut behind him.
Albus's first thought of the evening was: Fuck.
It was fuck because he had stubbed his toe. He had stubbed his toe because he had kicked a tree. He had kicked a tree as punishment for his stupidity.
He had been down at the pitch with Scorpius, smoking as leaned against the stands and planned their nightly extravaganza, which tonight was another party to welcome to term. The necessity for self-flagellation had occurred sometime after they had just finished discussing how much firewhiskey to smuggle in, when a certain blonde had made her way down to the pitch in search for Albus. When he saw her coming, his heart skipped a beat.
Scorpius saw her too. He hit Al's arm and grabbed the fag out of his mouth. "See you," he said and headed back up, passing Sarah without a word as he went. Before Al could calm himself, she had appeared before him, smiling politely.
"Hi," she said simply.
"Hi," he said back.
"I wanted to talk to you. I thought that maybe the train ride… well, you didn't seem to be having that much fun," she shrugged.
"No, I was. It was great."
She smiled, but was unconvinced. "So, listen. This party tonight – yours, yes?"
"Yes."
"Great. Well, I was just making sure I'd be able to get in. There's no guest list, is there?"
"No."
"Great, and you'll be there?"
"Yes."
"Then… see you then, I suppose. Bye, Al."
As she walked away, Al waited until she was out of earshot before slapping a hand to his forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He slapped himself with every word. Of all interactions, of everything he could have said, he answered her like a parrot.
He started to head back up, his fingers itching for a cigarette. As he approached a tree on his way, he kicked it angrily and stubbed his toe. As he did so, the sun started to fall behind the horizon, and Albus thought, fuck.
Dear Harry,
I have her here with me. She's safe and healthy enough. I've got her eating. She sleeps most of the day, but I've been trying to get her out of the house. I've been taking her down to see some of our dragons, but they seem to scare her more than help her.
She didn't want me to write to you, or tell you she was here, but I feel you should know. She doesn't want to be found, nor does she want you to retrieve her. She seems quite insistent on that, and she's my sister, so I'm not going to drag her.
Some days are better than others. Bill seems to think she'll be gone in a few days, but she's stuck around thus far. There's something not right about her, though, Harry. Sometimes she smiles and talks, and it's like she used to be, and then other days it's like she isn't there. She can't hear me. She'll scream and fuss and act like a child or she'll talk and laugh like an adult. It's worrysome. She doesn't seem to know what happened, though, most days. She doesn't seem to grasp what she's done. I'm going to take her to the hospital soon, I think. Maybe there's a potion for her.
Send my regard to the family.
Charlie.
"Blue dress, green dress." Briony held both dresses up to her, twirling around and parading them in front of the girls in her dorm. They frowned between the two.
"Blue," voted Lily.
"Blue," Phillipa agreed.
"Blue," finalised Arabella, coming in from the bathroom with a mascara wand in her hand. "I want to borrow the green."
Josie came out from behind her, a string of her hair curled around her wand. She was wearing a simple black shirt, bedazzled at the straps, with black skirt to match and black heels. Her makeup was already done and she pulled herself onto Lily's bed and started to brush the other girl's hair.
"D'you think I'll have a chance with Jase in this?" Phillipa asked, holding up a fitted black dress. Without meeting her eyes, everybody assured her that she would.
Lily pulled herself off the bed and straightened her own dress. It was a navy blue that puffed out slightly at her waist and stopped mid-thigh. She stepped into a pair of small heels to match and headed into the bathroom to do her makeup.
"Wouldn't it be so cool if I got with Scorpius?" said Arabella. She giggled.
"He doesn't go for fifth years," said Briony as Lily applied her eyeliner.
"Just because he never went for you," said Arabella sourly.
"He's not worth it. Come on," said Lily, stopping a squabble before it broke out as she led the girls out of their dorm. The common room was mostly empty, except for the first, second and third years who were not admitted to the Roars. The girls headed over to a large painting of a house on a hill just beside the fireplace. Lily tapped it twice, and it swung forward to admit them.
Secret passages around the school led to almost anywhere. There were so many, you could practically go through any painting and land somewhere new. In every common room, there was one that led straight into the Room of Requirement, curtesy of Al and Scorpius, who had made them. The problem was that how to get the painting to admit you changed every time there was a party, so you needed to keep your ears open. Lily had luckily found out from Sid, and by the look on Philippa's face, she hadn't known at all.
The tunnel was large and spacious, but winding. Lit by torches on brackets and their own wands, the girls made their way through. Lily could see a group of people who had just come before them making their way through as well.
The painting at the other end was open. They could see the flashing lights and hear the pouding music as they made their way through and stepped down into the huge, spacious room, taking in the scene.
Everybody was there. There were no bouncers (seventh years the boys paid to keep an eye on who came in). The darkness was punctured by flashing, multicoloured lights and music Lily recognised to be from The Nifflers practically made the room bounce.
The girls split up there. Instantly, Briony found her boyfriend and headed over to him; Phillipa headed to the middle of the enormous hall and started to dance among the huge crowd already doing so; Arabella scoped out the scene before deciding where to go and Josie gripped Lily's wrist as not to be separated from her as they made their way through the dense smoke and crowds.
Until, of course, she found someone of interest and crept away, leaving Lily alone. Though Lily hardly minded.
She grabbed a firewhiskey first, chatting up some of the boys by the drinks table. The ones that weren't already sucking face with some blonde, that was. After a few, when she found herself sufficiently buzzed (though later, many would argue that she was not buzzed but rather trashed) she made her way to the dance floor.
Nicholas navigated through the crowds, looking around. He was never into the party scene, and wasn't entirely sure why he was there. However, the reminder appeared in front of him in the form of a black haired girl, slightly tipsy and smiling bright.
"Hey!" she cried drunkenly. "You came! Have you danced?"
He mumbled a 'mhm' but didn't really have any time, because Alexis grabbed his hand and dragged him over to a couch on the edge of the large space. She threw herself onto it and beckoned him onto it as well.
"I'm so glad you came," she said, putting down her drink. "I was so wishing you would come."
"Well, I'm here." Although he wished he wasn't.
Suddenly, she leaned forward, and her lips were on his, and her skin was soft beneath his fingers and her hair smelled like firewhiskey in his nose and all he knew was that he was kissing her, kissing her because he could, kissing her because she was asking him too.
And then she pulled away and wiped her lips and whooped. She pulled herself up without another word and started towards the dance floor, leaving him alone on the couch.
Not alone for long, however. Lysander and Lorcan were quick to jump into the spot next to him, unphased that they had to squeeze uncomfortably.
"HI!" They cried. They too were drunk.
"We saw the scene," Lysander said.
"Nice going," Lorcan agreed.
"Guess who I got with."
"You'll never guess."
"Who?" Nicholas asked tiredly.
"Becky James."
"No shit!" Nicholas said.
"Yeah, she was great. Lor's jealous though, ain't you, mate?" He tapped his brother. Lorcan shook his head.
"Never," he said. "I got babes coming out my arse. Speaking of which…" He spotted a girl and drifted off to hook up with her. Lysander closed his eyes and lean back.
"I'm loving this, man, I'm loving it. You're in with Alexis, then?"
"S'pose so."
"She's a great shag, isn't she?"
"How would you know?" asked Nicholas. Lysander smiled cheekily.
"Just pulling your leg, don't worry. Won't touch her. Come on, I wanna do something."
"You always want to do something."
Suddenly there was screaming.
This party sucks, thought Hugo as he was unintentionally shoved into a wall. The beautiful thing was the darkness covered his face, which was still rather discoloured. The less than beautiful thing was the fact that every prick in the school seemed to cultivate at this party.
"Move, faggot," a seventh year sneered as Hugo passed him to find someone he knew, preferably Lily.
"Who invited the Homo?"
"Careful, he might try to fuck you."
The comments swirled around Hugo as he navigated through the drunk, high students in the Room of Requirement. He balled up his fists, but they followed him wherever he went.
"Dude, don't get near the Homo, it might be contagious." This comment came from Sid Flint, who was holding back his friend, Rogerson Nott, both of whom he hated with a passion. Finally finding someone his own size, he sneered at them.
"Suck my dick," he said roughly. Both boys puffed out their chests. Hugo tried to stand tall. He recognised Togas Davis shrinking behind them.
"How about you suck mine?" Sid scowled, pressing his face close to Hugo's. Unfortunately, he was taller than Hugo. But the redhead refused to let it phase him.
"How can I? According to every girl in the school, there's nothing there. Just a stub."
This was not a smart move.
The first blow was to his stomach. As he doubled over, another one came to his head. But it seemed that was all. As he lifted his head, delirious with pain, he saw Sid being held back by Rogerson and Togas, both of whom were scowling.
"He's not worth it," they muttered. "Just leave it. Not worth it."
Hugo couldn't help but be thankful that they thought this. With one hand on his stomach and the other on his head, he crawled back to the Gryffindor entrance and stumbled through the tunnel, back to his common room. He was in bed, nursing his injuries and thinking about how shit the party was, especially since he was beat up before he'd even been in there five minutes, when the screaming happened. So he never heard it.
Rose spotted Al sitting in the corner, fag in his mouth, looking disdainful. She made her way over to the lone boy and sat beside him on the couch.
"Some party," he mumbled to her, handing her the cigarette. She inhaled.
"Yeah," she agreed. "You sure can throw them. What's put you in this mood?"
He nodded to a spot on the dancefloor, where Sarah Hart was dancing very close to that McLaggen kid.
"Right," she mumbled, handing back the cigarette.
"You?"
"Scorpius, of course," she mumbled. "The git."
"Ah, he's not that bad!"
Rose glowered. "So you say. I've been avoiding him all night. I think he's looking for me, but I don't care."
"You're so cute when you're in love," Al smiled.
"I'm not in love."
"I think you are – "
"Don't! I'm really not. At least, I think I'm not… Am I?"
He raised his eyebrows. "That's for you to decide, isn't it?"
Rose sighed and took one last drag before pulling herself up. "We'll see."
It took twenty minutes to find him. Unsurprisingly, he was the heart of the party, thwarted by a group of adorers. He wasn't looking for her anymore. "Rosie!" he cried and jumped up to pull her into a hug. He smelled of firewhiskey and cigarettes. The girls around her melted. She tried to pull out and talk to him seriously, but he wouldn't let her. "My Rosie." He kissed her lips. He was drunk. He was irrational. He was selfish. He wasn't listening to her. So she pushed him back down and stormed away.
And five songs later, the screaming started.
Beautifully lightheaded, Lily found herself lost in the music and the scene and the people and the smoke and she danced until her feet were sore and she had to stumble off and take off her heels and put down her firewhiskey because she'd spilt it everywhere. And she didn't know who was around her but what did it matter? And every voice around her meshed into one and someone handed her something, some dust, and emptied it into her hand, and she wasn't sure who or what it was but she threw her head back and tipped it into her mouth and let it make her fly, higher than everybody, higher than the clouds…
But someone was flying with her, someone was talking to her, asking her something, "where's Rose?"
Rose?
Why was Rose flying with her?
I don't know, she tried to say, I don't know, let me fly.
And she kept her eyes closed so she could float in peace but someone kept talking to her, asking about Rose, and so she opened her eyes and the dull noise the music had become suddenly became a very loud noise, and there was someone in front of her, leaning into her, talking to her.
"Where's Rose?"
"I don't know."
And that was all she remembered saying but she was sure there was more – flirting, laughing, talking - because next thing was lips on lips and skin and hands through hair and wild music and the taste of secondhand firewhiskey and she didn't know anything, she didn't know what was happening, but she kept her eyes closed and her let her body dissolve into theirs and let the world fall away…
But it wasn't falling away. Suddenly it was very, very close, very real. Suddenly she wasn't in darkness and kissing random strangers with loud music thumping in her brain. Suddenly she was crouched by a tree watching a woman scream and someone burn, burn to death, and her own screams matched the woman's, and everybody was crying and there was an eerie glow and a foul smell, and she was screaming, screaming for help, screaming to get away, screaming for release…
And then someone was taking her hand and leading her away and assuring her it was alright, asking her to stop screaming, and she followed them, and stopped screaming, and all around, people gasped and muttered.
"Lily? What happened?"
She recognised that voice, and felt someone put her arm around her waist and lead her away, until the music faded and it was only darkness and she opened her eyes, and she was back in the tunnel and through the painting and into the common room and up to her dorm, and the softness of the bed beneath her fingers, she closed her eyes…
"What happened?"
"I don't know. She just freaked."
She opened them again. Standing in front of her, looking worried, was Rose. Josie came in through the doorway to the bathroom with a wet towel in her hand. Rose sat beside Lily and stroked her hair and Josie cleaned the mascara trails off her cheeks. Lily didn't even know she'd been crying, but was not surprised. As someone pulled off her dress and her shoes and tucked her into bed, she let her eyes close, let herself come back to earth, because she couldn't fly, not anymore, because reality didn't want to let her go.
"Charlie."
"Ginny."
"I can't stay."
"I never expected you to."
"I'm sorry."
"At least you hung around to say goodbye."
"You've been the best big brother in the world. But there are some things I need to do on my own."
"You need to get help, Ginny."
Silence.
"I just need to get out of here, Charlie."
"That's the last thing you need. But I know you well enough by now not to stop you."
"Thank you, Charlie. I'll write."
"Bullshit." A forced laugh.
A kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, Charlie."
"You're always sorry."
"Morning, sunshine," Josie said as Lily joined her in the Great Hall for breakfast.
"Morning," she mumbled, grabbing a piece of toast.
"You had a wild night, didn't you?" Briony said with a small giggle. Lily shook her head.
"Did you guys have fun?"
"Yeah, I got through like, half the school," Briony laughed.
"Ha! That's bull. I only saw you with Rogerson."
"No way," Lily said, joining in on the laughter as she ate.
"Yeah, way!"
Lily was about to divulge more information when someone called her name across the hall. She spun around in her seat to see Lorcan and Lysander hailing her from the Ravenclaw table. With a quick apology she jumped up and headed over. "Yeah?" she asked as they scooted over to admit her. Nicholas smiled from above his plate.
"We heard you had fun last night," Lysander winked. Lily blushed.
"Uh, well, you know me…"
"Making the impossible, possible," Lorcan said. Lily frowned, wondering what they were talking about, and then realised who she was talking to. It didn't have to make sense.
"Well, uh, yeah, I guess…" She picked the end of a piece of bacon off Lysander's plate.
"Don't you even care what Rose thinks, though? Like, I always thought she'd be pissed."
"That she had to leave the party early, you mean?"
"No, I mean…" He hesitated. "You don't remember?"
"Don't remember what?"
Had Lily not freaked out yesterday? That was the only thing in her memory. That she'd been with someone, and then freaked out, and led away, and everybody was watching, and Rose and Josie were there… had that not happened?
She saw Nicholas shake his head at Lorcan, who seemed oblivious to the gesture. Lily was not. "Remember what?"
"You freaked out yesterday, that's what," Nicholas said quickly and quietly.
A sudden commotion by the Slytherin table halted the conversation. Someone was sobbing. As Lily looked up, she saw it was Rose. Scorpius was standing by her, looking like he'd been slapped. She looked around wildly, wiped her eyes, and they fell on Lily.
Lily had never seen that look on her cousin's face before. She stood up, just as Rose sprinted out of the hall, her face covered and her hair flying out behind her, and Scorpius calling after her, running a few feet away. Lily jumped up and followed without consciously aware that she was doing it. The boys followed her, until she stopped in the entrance hall.
Rose and Scorpius had stopped too, and were now staring at each other like soldiers before a battle.
"I HATE YOU!" Rose screamed at Scorpius.
"Rose, you have to understand, I was –"
Her eyes fell on Lily. "And you! I HATE YOU!"
"What did I…?"
"You're my baby cousin," Rose sobbed. The look from before was gone, replaced with one of total betrayal. "My baby cousin! How could you do this to me?"
"Rose, what did I -?" She was very close to tears. Rose had never screamed at her like that. It was like a physical pain.
"HOW COULD YOU?"
"Rose!"
"Leave it, Lily," Scorpius said quietly. Rose turned on him.
"Oh, yes, take her side," she sneered through tears. Her voice was hoarse. "Take your little whore and live happily ever fucking after!"
"'Whore'? Scorpius, what-"
She took a step towards Rose and Scorpius, but Rose stepped back. "Stay the fuck away from me!" A tear slipped down Lily's cheek, and she felt pathetic for letting herself cry.
Lily spun around, looking for answers, but the boys behind her were watching the scene with awe. She felt more tears prickle her eyes. A group of girls passed on their way out of breakfast, but didn't linger, though it looked like they wanted to.
"We're fucking through," Rose said, and she spoke through gritted teeth, as though she was trying with all her might to sound calm. "Stay the fuck away from me. I never want to see you again."
With that, she spun and stormed up the stairs. They could hear her sob as she ran. Scorpius was paler than usual, and stood stock still. As more tears slipped through her eyes, Lily put a hand over her mouth so she wouldn't sob. Scorpius ran up the stairs after Rose. Lily spun around, staring helplessly at the boys behind her. They looked at her with pity.
"What happened?" she asked quietly, and her voice was hoarse with tears. More people passed with curious looks.
"Don't you remember?" Nicholas asked as he stepped forward to touch her hand. Lily shook her head. "Don't you remember who you were with last night?"
And as her mind played back the night before, she realised exactly who she was with last night.
Scorpius Malfoy.
Dun Dun DUN
Sorry this is such a late chapter. If you care, which you probably don't. I was away with no internet for 10 days! And you wanna know something? In that time I finished THREE WHOLE CHAPTERS! Holy kakadoo.
Reviews are lovely and always appreciated :)