Dear Jesus Christ FanFiction writers,
WHY HAVE YOU MADE ME GAY? Actually, don't answer that pressure.
Everyone knows that I have a caffeine addiction and that I twitch and scream a lot. And you should all –ngh know that it is uncontrollable and incurable. Therapy, drugs and people don't help.
So why oh why do you think that my muscle spasms will go away when Craig is near me? He's the only person I've ever gotten into a fight with, and he's so fucking rude. If anything he makes my anxiety and paranoia worse.
Oh wait. Don't tell him I said that. OH MY GOD YOU'RE HIS SPY AREN'T YOU? SHIT HE'S GONNA MURDER ME I TELL YOU!
Ahem. Sorry. I needed that coffee, thanks.
So yeah, All I seem to be used for in any stories is Craig's love object… which, by the way, makes both of us very OOC.
And I always seem to be working in my father's coffee shop, which I guess makes sense, but it doesn't. Argh that sentence doesn't make sense it has a double negative or something!
But how the hell would anyone expect me to listen to someone's order and make it for them without making any mistakes with it and charge them money? Too much pressure, dude!
And, oh god, I could not cope with the thought of a teenager in a hoodie coming in and lifting up his pistol and fucking shooting my brains out and eating my brains for no reason other than they hate me, ARGH.
Anyway, why do you all seem to put me in so many stories as the main character? Too much attention is too much pressure! Ngh- And why all romances? I could never, ever, ever kiss another person without wanting to puke my guts up into their mouths due to my undiagnosed anxiety disorder and oh my god they'd break my neck for that.
If you really want to make me a main character in a story, make me and the Gnomes have a showdown!
But please make there be no blood or violence.
Or any arguments.
Or any confrontation at all pressure.
Please keep it rated K.
Or, better yet, stop stalking me.
From Tweek Tweak.
A/N: Tweek is cool. but he wouldn't be able to handle the pressure.
Anyway, so many thanks and hugs to ConcreteAnglesRoxherHalo, Kylee Carr, xMistressChaosx and iluvkenny for reviews last time it makes me so uberly happy :)
Review now and you'll get a hug from your fave SP character!